zoegirl:
good ol’ susie
mad maddie:
but, ok. you’d just finished big bunny, when all of a sudden …
zoegirl:
the doorbell rang, and it was the jehovah’s witnesses. tina and arlene.
mad maddie:
oh joy. did you invite THEM in to watch big bunny?
zoegirl:
uh … no
mad maddie:
pity
zoegirl:
we were at the door talking about how god has a plan for all of us—that’s the cosmic unconsciousness part, that we would be talking about that very thing in terms of the future and what we’re supposed to do with our lives and all that—when the postman pulled up. i was like, “tina, arlene, i’ve got to go. i’m expecting something really important.”
zoegirl:
and there it was in the mailbox! my kenyon acceptance!!!
mad maddie:
that rocks!!! have you told the rents?
zoegirl:
not home yet. ack.
mad maddie:
they can’t MAKE you go to princeton. just remember that. when it comes down to it, they’ll want you to go where YOU wanna go, right?
zoegirl:
you don’t know my parents.
zoegirl:
well, actually you do … so you know what i’m up against.
mad maddie:
i can see the headlines: GIRL FORCED AT GUNPOINT TO ATTEND ELITE IVY LEAGUE UNIVERSITY. PARENTS CHARGED WITH GROSS ABUSE.
zoegirl:
no, not at gunpoint. they’d have a psychiatrist prescribe zoloft and analyze me into submission.
mad maddie:
now see, that’s good humor
zoegirl:
but i’m not going to give in, so there.
zoegirl:
what about you—have you figured your own stuff out in terms of georgia versus santa cruz?
mad maddie:
i think about it all the time
zoegirl:
and?
mad maddie:
and as much as i might want to, i can’t pick georgia over santa cruz. i just can’t.
zoegirl:
yeah. i kind of figured that’s what it would come down to.
mad maddie:
i can’t NOT do something cuz i’m afraid of change, you know?
zoegirl:
i think that’s good, maddie. i think you’re making the right decision.
zoegirl:
have you told ian?
mad maddie:
not yet
zoegirl:
have you told angela?
mad maddie:
are u kidding?
mad maddie:
1st i’m gonna give myself time to get my own head around it and really make sure this is what i want. then, once i’ve officially mailed my acceptance in, i’ll deal with telling ian and angela.
zoegirl:
well, i’m proud of you. and i’m proud of me, too, for my good news. and now i wanna call and tell doug, k?
mad maddie:
whoa. you told me before you told him?!
zoegirl:
erm … he had track practice, so i couldn’t reach him. but that doesn’t change the fact that yr the 1st to know!!!
Wed, Apr 5, 9:12 PM E.D.T.
SnowAngel:
maddie told me about your acceptance—that’s awesome! what did your parents say?
zoegirl:
oh, they were sooo supportive. my mom said, “if kenyon’s your top choice, we won’t stop you from going. but you’ll have to pay for it yourself.”
SnowAngel:
*winces*
SnowAngel:
well … can u? like with financial aid?
zoegirl:
the deadline for financial aid has already passed, which i’m sure my mom knew.
zoegirl:
i feel like such a dumb little rich girl! i didn’t even *think* to apply for financial aid!
SnowAngel:
your parents never gave you any reason to think you shld, that’s why.
zoegirl:
i’m tempted to not go to college at all. i’m tempted to get a job and live on my own and save up the tuition money myself, even though it would take a zillion years. people our age DO do that, you know!
SnowAngel:
your parents will freak if u don’t go to college.
zoegirl:
so?
SnowAngel:
YOU will freak if you don’t go to college. you were born for college, zo.
zoegirl:
it just sucks, that’s all
SnowAngel:
you got that right. the world sucks in general, that’s what i’m sadly coming to realize.
SnowAngel:
life sucks and then you die. THAT’S gonna be my senior quote!
Thu, Apr 6, 8:08 PM E.D.T.
SnowAngel:
hey, mads. wassup?
mad maddie:
nmjc. u?
SnowAngel:
feeling sorry for myself. i keep thinking about how tomorrow zoe and doug are going to make love for the first time.
mad maddie:
and this makes you feel sorry for yourself becuz …?
SnowAngel:
YOU know. cuz yay for them, it’ll be this wonderful moment cuz they’ll be sharing it with someone they love. UNLIKE SOME WEAK AND SHALLOW PPL I HAPPEN TO KNOW.
mad maddie:
uh oh
SnowAngel:
i called logan tonight—can we say “masochist”?
mad maddie:
masochist!
SnowAngel:
i asked him outright how he could have slept with jana while we were still going out. i was like, “that REALLY hurt, you know? like stabbed-me-in-the-heart-with-an-icepick kind of hurt.”
mad maddie:
what did he say?
SnowAngel:
NOTHING. nada, zilch. didn’t deny it, didn’t fight back, didn’t do anything but sit like a lump on the other end of the line. i could hear him breathing, that’s it.
mad maddie:
so lame. he should at least be a man about it and apologize.
SnowAngel:
yeah, but he didn’t. and that’s why he sucks!
Fri, Apr 7, 9:00 PM E.D.T.
mad maddie:
oooo! doug and zo must be going at it in the church basement by now!
mad maddie:
think he’s gonna blow his wad again? prematurely, i mean?
SnowAngel:
that’s not nice. this is a big and tender moment for zoe.
mad maddie:
i know, but it’s still funny to think of doug blowing his wad …
SnowAngel:
i hope he doesn’t. after all the stress she’s been dealing with, she deserves something that’s just plain good.
SnowAngel:
i had an idea for her about that, btw. her college stress. i told her even tho she didn’t apply to UGA she should write a letter and tell them how cool she is … and of course throw in who her mom is and how she’s buds with the president of the university.
mad maddie:
her mom’s not gonna help her get into georgia
SnowAngel:
she wouldn’t have to TELL her mom. she’d just mention it as background info. plus, what university wouldn’t want zoe???
mad maddie:
how would she pay for the tuition? georgia’s cheaper than kenyon, but there’s still a lot of money to be forked over.
SnowAngel:
duh! the Hope Scholarship!
mad maddie:
oh yeah!
SnowAngel:
zoe didn’t even KNOW about the Hope Scholarship. i was like, “girl, there is free money just waiting for smart chickies like you!”
madmaddie:
you have to have a B average and your tuition is paid for, right?
SnowAn
gel:
as long as yr a georgia resident, which she is. and btw, i happen to know someone else who’s a georgia resident … *looks meaningfully at friend*
mad maddie:
a free ride, that’s pretty amazing
SnowAngel:
you can thank the state lottery for that 1
mad maddie:
what did zoe think of yr idea?
SnowAngel:
she said something very zoe-ish about how it was sweet of me to try and help, but that it would never work. what she DIDN’T say, but what i know she was thinking, was that georgia’s not good enuff.
SnowAngel:
sometimes she’s waaaaay more like her parents than she realizes.
mad maddie:
interesting theory
mad maddie:
but you don’t want her to end up somewhere she doesn’t want to go, do you?
SnowAngel:
if it’s b/w 2 schools she doesn’t wanna go to, then heck yeah, i’d rather her come to georgia!
mad maddie:
i want us all to go to our dream schools and be the super-cool studs we are.
SnowAngel:
whatEVer. what *i* want is for us all to be together.
SnowAngel:
so i’m gonna keep working on her. AND you.
mad maddie:
well, don’t hold your breath
SnowAngel:
i AM gonna hold my breath.
Fri, Apr 7, 10:09 PM E.D.T.
zoegirl:
well … i did it!
SnowAngel:
OMG!!! for real? all the way???
zoegirl:
yeah, but not going to tell all unless maddie’s here, too. maddie? you here?
mad maddie:
yes’m!
zoegirl:
hey, girls. yes, it’s true: i’m a woman now.
mad maddie:
way to go, you sexy beast!
SnowAngel:
*squeals!!!*
mad maddie:
just to be clear, we’re talking full insertion?
zoegirl:
we made love. it was amazing. and now all i can think is, “holy cow, i’m no longer a virgin! i will never be a virgin again!”
SnowAngel:
what was it like???
zoegirl:
hmm, where to start?
zoegirl:
it was more complicated than i thought it would be, for one thing. i’m sooo glad it was doug i was with, cuz i can’t imagine doing that with some stranger. it’s so incredibly intimate!
SnowAngel:
in what way was it complicated? and don’t leave anything out, cuz as you know i am going to be a virgin-for-life. my only solace is to live thru you.
zoegirl:
i’ll tell you, but first you both have to promise that you’ll keep it to yourselves and not tell a single soul. and that you’ll be respectful of doug in your minds and not make any crass jokes, MADDIE.
SnowAngel:
i promise
mad maddie:
yeah, yeah, whatevs. of course!
zoegirl:
because it really is a big deal. it’s something i’ll remember forever, and it’s something doug will remember forever. we will always be each other’s firsts.
SnowAngel:
we get it! now spill!
zoegirl:
the complicated part was … getting it in. it wasn’t effortless like in the movies. i *knew* it wasn’t gonna be like in the movies, i’m not clueless, but part of me still expected that it would happen naturally, you know? (the getting it in part)
mad maddie:
it DIDN’T happen naturally? what are you saying, that you used a
mad maddie:
nvm, i’ll be good
SnowAngel:
what were you gonna say, a forklift?
mad maddie:
no, a crowbar. but a forklift’s even better, more complimentary to doug.
zoegirl:
you guys! no jokes!!!
SnowAngel:
ok, so how DID you get it in? *sits attentively with pen and paper*
zoegirl:
he kind of guided it in. with his hand. i tried to help, but i felt pretty fumbly.
SnowAngel:
did it hurt, when it finally happened?
zoegirl:
a little. and i think i bled some, but doug had brought a quilt which we’d spread on the floor. he also brought candles and roses, and afterward he held me tight and told me he’s never loved anyone as much as me.
SnowAngel:
awwwww!
mad maddie:
did you have the Big O?
zoegirl:
what’s the big o?
mad maddie:
don’t play coy with me, missy! YOU know!
zoegirl:
no, i really don’t! what are you
zoegirl:
ohhhhhhh
mad maddie:
yeah, OOOOOOOO
zoegirl:
erm … not exactly. at least, i don’t think so …?
zoegirl:
but lots of girls don’t their first time. that’s what i’ve read.
SnowAngel:
did HE have the Big O?
zoegirl:
well, yeah!
mad maddie:
guys always do! der!
zoegirl:
we’ll get better with practice, that’s what i think
zoegirl:
plus doug wore a condom, which i’ve read can inhibit the woman’s pleasure. he’s going to look into different brands for next time.
SnowAngel:
doug wore a condom? but you’re on the pill!
zoegirl:
he wanted to be doubly safe.
mad maddie:
oh my god
zoegirl:
what?
mad maddie:
that is so doug, that’s all. *and* so you. you’ve found your soul mate, haven’t you?
zoegirl:
i know you’re saying that to tease me—but yes, i have.
zoegirl:
i love him so much. i already *did* love him so much, and now i love him even more. it’s SO intense. it makes me understand “Need You Now” in a whole new way.
SnowAngel:
Lady Antebellum?
zoegirl:
“i need you now, and i don’t know how i can do without.” that’s seriously how i feel.
mad maddie:
you’re saying you wldn’t know how to, like, keep going if you had to go without him???
mad maddie:
zoe … PLEASE tell me you didn’t play dead again
SnowAngel:
huh?
zoegirl:
no! and of course i WOULD keep going without doug … i just don’t want to. ever!
SnowAngel:
when did you play dead? you guys aren’t … yr not into kinky stuff, r you?
mad maddie:
oh man, i am enjoying this so much
zoegirl:
no, angela, we’re not into kinky stuff. (maddie BE QUIET)
zoegirl:
when you’re in love, all you need is each other.
SnowAngel:
AND your friendz!
zoegirl:
of course, and your friends
mad maddie:
but not in bed with you. that WOULD be kinky!
zoegirl:
you know what the strange thing is?
zoegirl:
this gigantic tremendous life-changing event happened, and now here i am back in my bedroom like a good girl, doing my (cough cough) homework.
SnowAngel:
and your parents have no idea
mad maddie:
neither does the minister of doug’s church. or all the little old church ladies! if they did, they’d have brought you pineapple upside-down cake.
SnowAngel:
“here you go, swe
etie. what a fine young woman you’ve grown up to be. and you too, dougie! my, my!”
zoegirl:
very funny
mad maddie:
well, zo, that’s awesome. like you said, yr a woman now.
mad maddie:
quick change of subject—unless there’s more you wanna tell?
zoegirl:
i’m good, go on
mad maddie:
i just wanna know: are we getting ready for prom together tomorrow?
SnowAngel: