Chapter 4
In the morning Ky was stretched out at the foot of Mimi’s bed as usual. They had slept in, and the sun was high in the sky by the time they came down to breakfast. Martine was sitting at the breakfast table with a cup of coffee listening to the Spanish news on the radio through her phone. She got up as they came down.
“Mail came for you, querida,” she said. Martine handed over the envelope with some trepidation. It was an invitation to a yearly charity gala. Mimi had forgotten that it was coming up. Ky was expecting it.
Martine wondered if there was something she could say to try to convince Mimi to go to the annual gala for world refugees that Henry was hosting. She didn’t actually approve of Henry, but given the circumstances, she thought if she could get Mimi to go anywhere, it would be good for her. Mimi glanced at it, and then let the pretty linen invitation fall from her hand into the trash.
As Mimi walked away, Ky looked over at Martine to make sure she wasn’t watching, then fished it out.
All day Mimi’s phone rang and rang. She put it on vibrate only. Then she moved it to the foot of her lounge chair. She threw her sweater over it, and then a towel, but she could still hear it. Finally, she picked it up and flung it toward the pool. Ky got up quickly, made a flying leap, and, before it reached the water, caught the phone in midair. He landed on the patio and brought it back to her, tail wagging.
“Fine,” she said as she took the phone. “Everyone else is after me, why not you too? It just figures that before I got sick everyone wanted me to do something serious and stop having a social life.” She scowled at the water. “Careful what you wish for, you know?”
Was it her imagination, or did he nod in sympathy?
“You’re a weird dog, you know that?”
Ky wagged his tail. She could have sworn he was laughing at his own private joke. He lay down next to her and his wagging tail thumped into her ankle. She couldn’t decide if she liked the feeling, or if it was irritating. “A weird dog, that’s exactly what I meant.” His tail wagged harder.
Mimi got into bed that night in a foul mood and pulled the covers up over her head. She had had navy blue sheets, always had, since she was a kid. She found them comforting, like climbing into the warm ocean. They blocked the light, and she needed to block out the world just now. She pulled the sheet tight around her ears and counted backwards from one hundred, a simple but effective trick. Martine had taught it to her so she always counted in Spanish. “Cien, noventa y nueve, noventa y ocho…”
Ky sighed. He listened to her counting. He was loath to break the peace of the evening, but it was now or never. If she couldn’t help him, or didn’t believe him, he couldn’t miss this opportunity. He was running out of time.
“…treinta y cinco, treinta y cuatro-”
Just as Mimi was dozing off she heard a man’s voice, soft but resolved.
“Mimi. Mimi, I need your help.”
Mimi bolted upright and pulled the sheets back to see a strange man standing at the foot of her bed. She screamed.
“I’m not sure how else to ask for it,” Ky said quietly. “I’ve never been in this situation before. But I do. I need your help.”
“Get away from me! Who are you?” Still in bed, she pushed herself back and pressed herself to the headboard, as far away from him as she could get.
“Please.” Ky put his hands up in a gesture of supplication. “I’m not going to hurt you.”
“What? What are you talking about? Who are you?”
“I was hoping I wouldn’t have to tell you. I had a plan that was better, less intrusive.” Ky turned back into a dog. The seamlessness, gracefulness of the motion shocked her as much as the transformation. The dog was unmistakably the man, and vice versa.
Martine’s footsteps came running down the hall. She knocked frantically on the door. “Mimi, are you okay? What happened? I’m coming in.” Martine opened the door.
Ky the dog sat patiently at the foot of the bed. He kept his gaze fixed steadily on Mimi. She gazed back, wondering if she had just recovered from a hallucination, or had been dreaming. There was her dog on the floor, but his eyes said otherwise.
“I think- I think I had a nightmare. I think I’m okay,” Mimi said slowly.
“Do you want me to stay with you?” Martine sat on the bed and instinctively put her hand on Mimi’s forehead. “You don’t feel warm, but you look flushed.”
“No, I’ll be okay.”
Martine kissed her on the top of her head. “Do you need anything? Absolutely anything? Let me get you something, querida. Hot cocoa, cold cocoa?”
Mimi laughed. “Tempting, but no.”
“Anything at all?”
“Don’t worry. I’ll call you if I need you. I promise.”
“Okay, honey.”
Martine got up and walked quietly to the door. She turned and gave Mimi a big air kiss, then softly clicked the door closed behind her. Ky and Mimi looked at each other for a long moment, long enough for her to doubt what she had seen, and then Ky stood up and took human form in a single perfect movement, never losing eye contact.
“Who are you?” she gasped.
“I am an Or-ta, something you might call a shapeshifter, a trickster.”
“I wasn’t paying that much attention in biology class, but I’m pretty sure that’s not a real thing.”
“How about old English literature? Native American history? Greek mythology?” he asked.
“No dog-men that I remember.”
A half-smile crossed Ky’s face. “We’re not just dog-men. We take a shape that is correct to the world we’re in, correct to the circumstances we’re in. Earth is full of shapes, and I can recreate a handful of them. But I can still also use some magic, some of the tools of my world. And, as you see, I can change.”
“Am I dreaming? I’m dreaming. This isn’t real. Is this real?”
“I am Ky. Ky the dog is really a dog but also me, if that makes sense.”
“It doesn’t.”
“I can take many different shapes.”
“Why are you here?”
“I guess I’m here as a…” he hesitated, searching for a good word. “Spy,” he finally concluded.
“Spying on me?”
“No, but I need your help.” He sat down in her puffy pink velvet easy chair. He was too tall for it, she noticed. His knees stuck up. He looked out of place in her very female bedroom. He furrowed his brow. She had seen Ky the dog make the same expression, as though he was deeply concerned.
“You need my help to be a spy?”
“I need your help to spy on someone at the gala for world refugees. You got the invitation today. I need you to go. I need you to be your old self, to a certain extent. And I need you to bring me, at least past the gate.”
“You’re a spy so you need me to go to a party? That doesn’t make any sense.”
Ky smiled. “Spies are always going to parties in those movies that you watch, the ones with the hero who says his name twice.”
“James Bond.”
“He goes to parties.”
“I didn’t think that was a real thing.”
“Well, what about Mata Hari?”
“Who’s Mata Hari?”
“You don’t know about Mata Hari? I didn’t think that was that long ago.” His brow furrowed deeper. “Regardless, this party lends itself to my purposes.”
“Who are you spying on?”
Ky hesitated for a long moment. Here he was faced with the second radical decision of the night. How could he trust Mimi? She was barely an adult of her race, spoiled, chaotic. With the truth, she could reveal his presence before he was ready to make his move. She could put herself in danger. She could put him in danger. But wasn’t everyone more dangerous without the truth? Had he not learned that the last time he had been on Earth?
“I believe you think his name is Henry Halstead”
“Henry?”
“Henry is a, hmmm, crook? An imposter.” Ky real
ized how long it was since he had spoken to a person. He knew his speech sounded outdated. He would work on it.
“He is kind of my boyfriend,” said Mimi.
“I know that.”
“So you have been spying on me.”
“I was sent to find out what Henry’s plans are. I suppose you could say I spied on all of his close acquaintances.”
“I thought you were from the Seizure Dog Center.”
“My apologies. I didn’t have a lot of options.”
“What did he do?”
“I don’t know yet. All I know is that he’s cultivating friends who are powerful in your political and social system. Seeking out power in your world is forbidden to us. He has been pretending to be human for a long time.”
Mimi sputtered, “Pretending to be human?” Her mind turned to the nights that she had spent with Henry and she shook a little. She couldn’t help it. She didn’t believe what Ky was telling her, or did she?
“Henry is of my race, a trickster.”
“No, he can’t be,” she said defensively. “I mean, I’ve never seen him change into a dog!”
“I don’t know if he has a dog shape,” Ky replied thoughtfully. “Regardless, up until tonight you’d never seen me as anything else. We don’t reveal ourselves anymore, not without great need.”
“Why do you need my help?”
“I can’t get over the threshold of his house without an invitation.”
“Like a vampire?”
“Not exactly, no; more because Henry’s house is under a lot of security, both human and Or-ta. It will be somewhat fragmented the night of the party, but I still need you to cross, so that I can cross. I need to be your invitee, so that I won’t…” He thought about how to explain this. “So that I won’t cast a shadow on his security system. He also likes you. If you go, he will be very much engaged in the pleasure of the event.”
“So that way you can spy on him? I’ll distract him with how cute I am, and you can snoop around his house?”
“Essentially, yes.” He paused, calmly meeting her skeptical gaze. “Will you go?”
“I haven’t been anywhere since…” Then a thought occurred to her. Her voice suddenly rose. “Did you…is it your fault that I got sick? Or Henry’s?” Her mind flew wildly to the possibilities. She had seen Henry the day of her first seizure. Had she been subjected to some kind of magic?
“No, I don’t have that kind of power.” Ky’s voice was calm, but sympathetic. “Henry is much older than I am. He might have that kind of power, but I don’t see how it would help him. Until your illness, he was using you to get to powerful people, entertainers like you. And he has been trying to reach you.”
“Yes.”
“But you’ve been ignoring him.”
“And everyone else.”
“I don’t think he would have done it. It wouldn’t help him.”
“And you, you didn’t, like, cast a spell on me or anything?”
“No. It may seem like a strange coincidence to you, but as far as I can tell, your illness is of your world only. I am sorry. I was looking for an opportunity to get to Henry, looking at all his close acquaintances. The others are…well, let’s just say that they have a very strong incentive to protect him. You, you’re independent. He needed you more than you needed him, clearly, more than you wanted him. I would have tried something else, but when you got sick, I saw that I could enter your world. The dog is a convenient form for me, good hearing, great sense of smell, uncanny ability to recognize bad intentions. Our powers are increased by our form. It was a great opportunity. I would have had a harder time winning your trust some other way, especially since you’ve been…isolated.”
“You did have my trust,” she said quietly.
“Now, I hope to earn it again. I know it will be different.” The soft glow of the night sky illuminated his lanky seated frame. He looked human, but not quite.
Mimi’s mind was racing. She had so many questions she could hardly think of one to start with, except maybe the one that mattered most to her, “And so, then, can you…” She paused trying to figure out what and exactly how she wanted to say it, but he finished her thought for her.
“I can’t heal you, no.”
“Not even as a reward, if I really help you out?”
“I would do it, Mimi. If that were in my power I would have done it already. It would have saved us this conversation, and I know you suffer. I have seen it.”
She looked down, realizing that a total stranger had seen her most vulnerable moments.
He continued, “All the worlds have curses, blights. Illness is one of yours.”
She turned that disappointment over in her mind for a few moments. “I can’t go. What if I go and I’m a mess all night?”
“For the gala I can tell you if you’ll have any seizures. We can plan the whole night around them.”
“You get more than a ten-minute warning?”
“I get about a day depending on the circumstances.”
“Why didn’t you say so before? That would have been very helpful!” She laughed.
His eyes twinkled. “Up until now, we didn’t have that kind of relationship.”
“The kind where you’re also a person?”
“Yes, that kind.”
“And you’re an…”
“Or-ta.”
She rolled the word around in her mouth. It suited the man, and the dog. “Why should I believe you about Henry?”
Ky thought for a moment. “Martine doesn’t like him,” he said, hoping that would be enough.
Mimi laughed. “She does have good people instincts. On the other hand, she thinks you’re a dog.”
“I am! Tell me something you know about Henry, something he has told you. Did he grow up somewhere, have a family? How old is he? Where did he get his money?”
Mimi realized that in all their conversations Henry hadn’t been forthcoming about his personal life. “I don’t know. I don’t know any of that. But that doesn’t mean he’s bad. I mean, he could be like you, but he could be the good guy. How do I know he’s the bad guy and you’re the good guy?”
“Always a good question, but really, I think you should believe me because I’m telling the truth.” The power of his voice increased suddenly, not the volume, but some kind of force behind it. “I don’t always, but now I am.” Mimi looked at him. He was impossible not to believe; maybe it was the steadiness of his gaze. It was as though he really had cast a spell on her, and she recognized the power. It was a power that Henry had as well. She had felt so lucky to be with Henry because he was special, different from everyone else, more sure of himself, more commanding. She had never seen him speak to someone and not get immediate, rapt attention. There was an otherworldly magnetism that attracted everyone to Henry. Suddenly, that made sense.
She thought back on her relationship with Henry. “I was crazy about him. He is nice, super-charming, but creepy or disorienting, I guess. He’s a very exciting person.”
“I can see how that would be. He is powerful, even among Or-ta. That’s why I didn’t think you’d lose interest in him.”
“I guess I’ve lost interest in almost everything.”
“In a way, that shows strength on your part. Although, you already know that in the long run, there’s no hiding from life.”
“Don’t you start on me too!”
“I’ve already started on you.”
“Like when you caught my phone?” She laughed. “I should have known that was completely not normal.”
“You did know. In a way, Martine knows too. Humans know much more than they’re willing to believe in.”
“Speaking of which, you’d better not disappear on me. I don’t want another diagnosis in my medical chart that goes something like ‘super-crazy delusions, thinks her dog is a person.’”
“You’ll help me?”
“If Henry’s not doing anything wrong, you’ll leave him alone, right?” The words sounded lame
to her as she said them. Thinking back on Henry in this new light, it was as if his actions started to make sense, his political friends, the entertainers that he “admired” that he had asked Mimi to introduce him to, even the places he went on vacation seemed slightly out of the ordinary. She didn’t know why she hadn’t seen it before. His desires were calculated to a specific end, but what?
“I would like nothing better.”
They sat in silence, both gazing out at the night. Ky felt it had gone well, as well as could be hoped. He was now on treacherous territory until he had Henry in hand. Humans could be volatile. The last time he had become close to a real human, he had put his whole world in danger. He grimaced and tried to put the thought out of his mind. But, he considered, Mimi was different. She had a certain clarity under that thick veneer of pop culture. She only had to get him close to Henry. And she was his best shot. Outside the window a few stars were making an unusual appearance in the hazy sky. The room felt still, silent. Mimi was still pressed up against the elaborate headboard of her bed. The mahogany slats were cold. She felt small in that sea of cushions and fabric. But Ky had made no threatening moves. He sat still in her fluffy easy chair. If anything, she felt as if he had made himself vulnerable to her.
“You won’t have any seizures tonight, Mimi, if you want to sleep,” he said quietly.
And suddenly she did want to sleep. But despite her brave words, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to wake up in the morning to Ky the dog or Ky the shapeshifter.
“I don’t even know you,” she said tiredly. “How can I sleep?”
“If I wanted to hurt you, I could have done so already,” he said. “Plus, what makes you think that you could know me better as a person than as a dog? I’m just as much one as the other.”
“So this isn’t the real you?”
“This is not the shape in which I was born, no. But it’s one I like. They all have their advantages. For example, sleep comes easier to a dog. Here, I’ll go first.” A slight smile played around his mouth, and with that he transformed back into a dog and lay down at the foot of her bed where he always slept, tucking his nose under his front two paws. His ears fell, relaxed. He let out a long sigh. He looked so sweet lying there, just a tired dog without secrets. Mimi relaxed a little bit and then curled up. He was right, of course: he clearly did not want to hurt her. She wondered, when you find out that the world is completely other than—or more than you thought—when, after that, is the right time to sleep?
Mimi slept deeply. When she awoke in the morning, she said nothing to Ky. She was waiting for him to say something, or do something so that she would know that she had not been dreaming. She noticed that he averted his gaze as she was dressing. Had he always done that? She couldn’t remember. Why would she have cared? She came down to breakfast followed by Ky as usual, the soft thump of his paws down the stairs. She tried to behave normally, but she felt like she was suddenly walking around on another planet. She kept glancing at him. He met her gaze with those steady eyes, not quite a dog’s eyes. She couldn’t believe that she hadn’t recognized it before. Martine was surprised when Mimi went to feed Ky and then turned to her.
“Do you think Ky can have huevos?”
Martine had grown up in rural El Salvador where there were dogs, but no grocery stores, and certainly no dog food. Martine laughed. “I never met a dog that didn’t like huevos. He probably also wants a waffle.” Huevos and waffles were a favorite breakfast in the Parks household.
Ky wagged his tail and went to lie down at Martine’s feet.
“Your trainer would not approve,” Martine said cheerfully as she laid out a human breakfast for Ky.
“I think he doesn’t need to know about this one,” said Mimi laughing.
Martine was surprised to see Mimi finish her breakfast, but as an experienced mother of girls, she said nothing. When Mimi told her that she was going to Henry’s party she couldn’t restrain herself. “Bueno querida, enjoy yourself some!”
“Martine, do you like Henry?”
Martine looked at her carefully, “Sure. He seems like a nice man.”
“But you don’t like him, do you?”
“No, he seems very, hmmm, tricky?” Mimi almost burst out laughing at Martine’s choice of words. But she quickly followed with, “but don’t miss the party.”
Mimi smiled. “I won’t.”
Ky followed Mimi outside to lie in the lounge chair by the pool with her latte. It was their routine. Every day they lay by the pool, listened to books on tape or watched movies. Today, conveniently for Mimi, it would give her the chance to ask the hundreds of questions that had been circling through her head during breakfast.
“Can you speak as a dog?” Mimi asked as soon as they were out of Martine’s earshot.
“Yes. Sometimes it’s hard to remember not to.” Ky was taking his usual place beside her. She looked at his face as he spoke; his lips barely moved, but the voice was that of Ky the man.
“That’s strange. Dogs can’t talk, you know.”
“It’s a trick,” said Ky apologetically. “We cultivate our shapes over time so it’s not too hard to work in some cross-characteristics. It’s convenient. In this case, I used the human vocal chords, but the resonating cavity is magical. Sound is easy to change with magic because it always has some magical characteristics. Even untrained, non-magical beings can stumble across them, especially when singing, or, for example, playing the guitar. But for me, in my nonhuman shapes, I manipulate sound with magic so that I always have the same voice. That way I can hear myself and not be surprised.”
Mimi just stared at his furry gray face, not entirely sure what he was talking about.
“Thanks for the waffle,” he said quietly.
“Oh right, better than dog food?”
“Your housekeeper buys excellent dog food.”
“Oh, sorry. It just felt weird.”
“Not a problem. Dog food is delicious to a dog, but waffles are delicious to everyone. Given the choice, I would always take the huevos con waffles.”
“There will be enchiladas for dinner.”
“Excellent, if you don’t think she’ll get suspicious.”
“Suspicious of what? That you’re not a dog?”
“Good point. I love enchiladas.” He stared out over the perfectly manicured landscaping. “I was worried that you would wake up in the morning and second-guess last night.”
“Of course I second-guessed last night. I’m still second-guessing it!”
“It’s been a long time since an Or-ta revealed his true nature to a human. I wasn’t sure how to go about it.”
“Maybe appearing in my bedroom as a strange man wasn’t the best choice.”
“I thought about that. Would just talking to you as a dog have been better?”
Mimi gave that a moment’s thought, and then laughed. “No, no not better.”
“I don’t understand humans. In my human form, I feel as a human does, some things, anyway, and I have some human emotions, experiences. Sometimes I have to change shapes just because the human experience is so complicated, the nuances of human feelings are overwhelming. And human society moves quickly, much more quickly and adaptably than that of the Or-ta. There have been many changes since I was last on Earth, and I am adrift in them. There is so much more information now, so much speed to human movements. Still, I was unable to find a way to talk to you without surprising you. And I don’t know how you feel now because Or-ta are never surprised by the endless possibilities of what can be ‘real.’ I don’t understand what it would be like to not know about the other worlds, to not be able to change shapes, to not know about magic. Even when I take my human form, I don’t know what it would be like to believe that this world was essentially the only one.”
“Well, in my human form, which is the only one I have, now my life is entirely things that I don’t understand, and probably don’t believe in.”
“What do you believe in?” Ky asked. He realized tha
t, unlike the Earth of his youth, where he had often been mistaken for a demon, or an angel, in this modern world, religion was diverse, and often hidden. When he first started studying Mimi, she hadn’t seemed to have a religion, but maybe he was mistaken. “Am I counter to your beliefs?”
“No.” She laughed. “No, I didn’t mean it like that. Martine is Catholic, but she never talks about it. Dad isn’t anything. I was never anything. I never really stopped to think about religion, the ‘what’s out there’ part of religion. In my life that’s always seemed more like a political question than a ‘real’ question. So I didn’t worry about it. I meant that I never stopped to wonder if there are beings around like you, who can turn into anything they want.”
Ky laughed softly. “Not anything I want, but I appreciate the compliment.”
“It’s kind of pathetic, but I guess I used to believe that life is short and fun, so enjoy yourself. And then I got sick, and I thought, life is short and brutal, and I don’t know what to do.”
Ky shook his head sympathetically, but said nothing.
Mimi continued, “There’s a lot of talk in the world of chronic illness about your ‘new normal.’ It’s this concept that once you’re used to what you’ve got, it just becomes, your life, your normal life. My neurologist has mentioned it. It came up a few times at the hospital. Even my herbalist mentioned it. I’ve been resisting it. I didn’t want to feel like seizures are normal, or like constant pain is normal. But it does start to become normal. So is encountering beings from other worlds who are magical spies going to become part of my ‘new normal’ with everything else?”
“Does it feel normal?”
“I think that normal is a very long way away right now,” Mimi said. She still felt as though at any moment she could slide back in time to before she knew about Ky, even maybe before she got sick, back to something she could really call normal.
Ky calmly picked up his head and sniffed the air back and forth as though he were looking for a scent but couldn’t find it.
“What? What is it?” asked Mimi.
“I don’t think it’s anything,” said Ky. “Maybe something, like an earthquake but far away. Or just a change in the wind. You were saying?”
“I have so many questions I don’t even know where to start,” Mimi said.
“You don’t have to know everything right now.”
“Says the dog who appeared as a man in my bedroom last night.”
“Fair enough. I will answer the questions that I can without putting you in danger.”
“I’m in danger?”
“I’m trying to prevent that.”
“But you are? You are in danger?”
“Yes, but not here, not today.”
A gust of wind swept suddenly through the palms, charging the morning. Mimi wondered for a moment if she’d ever been in danger before. From drugs, she supposed, from being too thin. Those were not quite the same.
“I guess my biggest question is, if you’re real…I mean, you are real, and so why doesn’t everyone know about it? Secrets are almost impossible to keep. I know that. I live what a person might call a ‘Hollywood lifestyle.’ There are lots of secrets here but, well, they’re like open secrets, levels of secrets, the things we know about each other and then the things the public knows.”
“And you’re currently keeping a secret, one that many people would love to know,” said Ky. “But it’s different in our case. It’s willful disbelief. There was a time when everyone knew about us or about some kinds of magic at least. There are so many more otherworldly beings than shapeshifters, some very powerful, some less so. Now our presence on earth is only represented in your art, movies, stories, songs. There has always been a fight against knowledge, not just of magic, knowledge of all kinds. People tend to shy away from things they can’t control. People like rules that put them on top. Even if those rules aren’t true, you choose to live as though they are.”
“And you don’t fit into the rules.”
“It may be better that way. We were not necessarily the good guys. We had too much power when magic was assumed and we didn’t have to hide as much. Your world is more dependable now. Sure, there are disadvantages, but people like a predictable world. That way people behave predictably.”
“Do I behave predictably?”
“You did, but probably not anymore.” Ky realized this was true and it worried him a little. What was he doing here confiding in a young human? But Mimi’s hands and voice were steady. Maybe she would be fine. Anyway, there was no going back.
“Well, today you have to be on your best, most predictable dog behavior.”
“Why’s that?”
“Paloma comes tonight.”
“Your sister?”
“Sort of. She’s Martine’s daughter. We grew up together. She might as well be my sister. She’s my dad’s favorite.”
“Because she went to medical school instead of hosting a reality TV series?”
“If you side with her too, I’m going to be mad. A dog is supposed to be a girl’s best friend.”
“Don’t worry. I don’t have your same value system.”
Paloma drove up that afternoon in her Honda Accord. For a moment Mimi forgot all about Ky and felt only that slight surge of jealousy that she always felt toward Paloma. Mimi’s father kept Paloma in modest new cars. It was part of the weird game they played where, despite not being her real father, he parented her the way he wished he could parent Mimi. He had tried to buy Mimi a Honda when she was seventeen and she had gone out and gotten herself a vintage Jaguar, bottle green. It was in the garage. How could he love cars so much and expect that Mimi wouldn’t? Mimi insisted on being spoiled. Paloma insisted on being good. But there was no one in the world that Mimi loved the way she loved Paloma. Mimi pressed her face to the slats in the patio fence and watched Paloma kiss Martine hello.
“Come out here!” Mimi shouted. Paloma headed for the patio with her long-legged, loping stride. She opened the gate and opened her arms wide for a hug that Mimi fell into naturally.
“How are you feeling?”
Mimi bit her lip to try not to cry. “Better.”
“Verdad?”
“No.”
“What do they have you on?”
“No idea, it changes every week.”
“So far nothing works?” Paloma asked.
“Some of them make me very sick to my stomach. Is that the same as working?”
“Not what I meant. My mamá said you haven’t been out of the house.”
“She is not counting the patio, then, and the doctor’s office.”
“Oh wow!” Paloma’s eyes fell on Ky. “Is that the dog? He’s beautiful! C’mere boy, c’mere!”
Mimi flushed and looked ashamedly at Ky who, to her surprise, came running over and let himself be scratched behind the ears by Paloma, while enthusiastically wagging his tail. He actually looked like he was enjoying it.
“Oh he’s precious! Does he fetch?” Paloma asked.
“No! He’s a highly trained service dog. The trainer was very specific. He’s at work twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.”
“Do you have a tennis ball? Let’s take him to the park.”
“You never hear anything I say.”
“C’mon Mimi, I know you haven’t been out of the house.” Paloma started walking back to her car. “I’ll drive. How much warning does the dog give you?”
“Ten minutes.”
“Okay, well, if you have a seizure I’ll just throw my sweater over your head and no one will know it’s you. Keep a lookout for paparazzi.”
“How long do I have?” Mimi whispered to Ky.
“You’re clear until tonight, ten o’clock,” he whispered back.
“Okay, we can go,” Mimi said aloud. She let herself be dragged into the passenger seat. Ky hopped in the back.
“Mamá, vamos a park!” Paloma shouted toward the house.
Mimi was surprised that she was leaving th
e house; even with Ky’s assurance, she was terrified of going out, terrified of being seen. She thought people would somehow be able to tell that she was different now. Was she strangely pale? She realized that she wasn’t wearing makeup.
“Paloma, I’m not wearing makeup!”
“Good, then you can do whatever you want because really no one will recognize you.”
“You’re awful. I don’t wear that much makeup.”
“You do, but I’m not saying you need it. Look, I’m not wearing makeup either.”
“But you’re very pretty,” Mimi whined.
“I’m rubber, you’re glue…” Paloma chanted. They parked and got out of the car by the baseball diamond and strolled along the footpath. Paloma took off her shoes. Mimi’s eyes darted around for curious onlookers, but the park seemed quiet. Still, she put her hair up in a knot and tried to rock a casual look. She wondered why. If she wasn’t going to do the show or anything else, ever, except pick up a disability check, why did she feel like she needed to look good? It was habit.
“So, no season two of ‘Mimi does Europe’?” Paloma held Ky’s leash, which made Mimi feel uncomfortable. Ky looked relaxed. He had his head up letting the wind rustle his ears. His nose moved side to side, blithely searching out the air.
“How do you think that would go?” Mimi responded. “Something like, ‘Check this out: in her couture bag are six different medications and adult diapers!’ No, that’s not that much fun. They let me out of the contract. I still have Giselle Parfum, but I don’t have another photo shoot for a few months. I’m going to think about whether or not to drop it. I don’t know if they’ll keep me without ‘Mimi Does Europe,’ but they might. They might even like that suddenly I’m so elusive. You know how that kind of thing goes. People think you’re working on some amazing project or have some dirty secret, which I guess I kind of do, not a dirty one, but a secret.”
“You haven’t gone public with your illness.”
“And so far no one else has either.”
“That’s good. Are you going to?”
“Like a big reveal in Vanity Fair where I could be everyone’s moral compass? Hardly. People would probably think it serves me right. Everyone secretly hates rich people. I’m famous for being spoiled and a flirt.”
“And being pretty, sexy, funny.”
“That doesn’t really make people like you. I think the best I can do is quietly disappear.”
“That’s a little morose.”
“It’s a little true.”
“If it makes you feel any better, everyone hates doctors too. And you know who really hates doctors? Eligible bachelors who are remotely cute! I meet a guy and then he says ‘What do you do?’ and then I say ‘Medical school,’ and I immediately see his cute little rear running away.”
“Still no sweetheart?”
“No. I think I confuse guys, they’re like, ‘oh somebody’s paying for your medical school? So you’re rich? But you’re not? But you’re Latina? And you don’t have big boobs?’ I’m very confusing.” Paloma moved her bare feet to the grass on the side of the path. “The only thing that makes sense about me is that my mom’s a housekeeper.”
“Your mom is amazing, the way she has taken care of me.”
“She thinks you’re her kid.”
“I am.”
“We’re kind of a weird family. Do you remember when I told you that my last name wasn’t Parks?” Paloma teased.
“I cried,” Mimi remembered.
“My mom thought it was so sweet. I think she seriously considered changing her name for you.”
“That would have dashed a lot of hopes since dad used to date a lot.”
“I wonder why he doesn’t now.”
“I don’t know, getting older, different priorities.”
“Maybe he got tired of skinny, aggressive, blond women in well-tailored suits?” Paloma ventured.
Mimi laughed. “I know I did.”
“I feel bad for your dad,” said Paloma.
“Because of how my mom burned him and now he’ll never find true love?”
“Have you talked to her?”
“No.” Mimi’s brow wrinkled. “I know I should. I will. I just can’t yet.”
“Do what’s healing for you,” said Paloma, “and not anything else!”
“Sage advice.”
“I guess it’s not easy for anybody,” Paloma sighed.
“At least it probably makes my dad happy that the TV series is over. Of course it sucks for him that now he can’t put pressure on me to get a real job.”
“A real job is totally overrated,” Paloma said emphatically.
“Now we really will be riches to rags in three generations,” said Mimi.
“What?”
“That’s what dad told me about my career, I mean, obviously, before I got sick. Now he only says nice things to me. But before I got sick he told me that most wealthy families go riches to rags in three generations because rich kids are so spoiled they think the money will last forever, they don’t manage it well, and they don’t get jobs.”
“I never thought about it. That’s probably true! Like pro football players going bankrupt at forty,” Paloma mused. “Maybe not rags; Mamá and I only found riches when we found you, though, so we have a couple more generations to go.”
“I don’t think you count.”
“Ummmm, thank you?”
“Maybe if you become a surgeon, of the plastic variety.”
“Those people do a lot of good.”
“I know it! I live in LA!”
“Besides, if I become a surgeon, I’m going to go do charitable lifesaving surgeries on orphans who don’t have access to stuff like medicine and blankets, so I won’t be rich. I have to make up for some of the guilt I feel about how lucky I’ve been with your dad paying for my medical school. Or I’ll just go into dermatology and work two days a week so that I can have a nap and a cup of tea every day, and a nice office with lots of plants and a hot receptionist. That actually seems like a great idea right now. But really, I haven’t decided.”
“They don’t ever let you sleep, do they?”
“Not much; that’s part of the whole attractive package.”
“I don’t feel sorry for you.”
“I don’t feel sorry for me either. That makes it worse. No, you know what makes it worse? What makes it worse is the medical assistant I’m working with at the hospital. She’s twenty. She has two kids, one year apart, two different dads. She has a medical assistant degree, which is a one-year degree, one year! It can actually be done in less than that. And I am jealous of her life. She’s always happy. She’s relaxed. She spends weekends at the beach. She still hasn’t managed to divorce Baby Daddy number one. She has a restraining order out against Baby Daddy number two. She has a boyfriend who I’m pretty sure spends most of his time smoking weed in the hospital parking lot. I have spent so much of my life and energy trying to make my life not like her life, but on any given moment of any given day…she’s happier than I am! She has two adorable kids. I don’t have any kids. She has an ex-husband. I don’t even have the beginnings of a first husband. She showed me pictures of herself at her wedding. She was eighteen. She looked great! She loved that dress! She walks around the hospital smiling, smiling and crunching on breath mints, constantly, always minty and always happy.”
“Don’t fool yourself, Paloma. She’s happy because of the breath mints. Sugar makes people happy. I know, because the neurologist has me on a no-candy diet.”
“Mimi! I feel betrayed. We promised each other we’d never do the trendiest diet.”
“Doctor’s orders. Are you saying I shouldn’t follow those?”
“No one else does.” Paloma looked moody.
“The neurologist said I could have a doughnut once a month.”
“That sounds like hard science.”
“We’re just trying it. The herbalist said I should eat whatever my doctor says, as long as it’s food that
loves me.”
“Wha-wha-what?”
“Food that’s been prepared for me with love. It’s kind of like what the therapist told me when my eating got really bad, that food isn’t the enemy, except that it’s more on a cellular level. Food that loves you feels good in the body and is easy to digest.”
“That also sounds like hard science.”
“In fairness, the herbalist doesn’t promise hard science. She also believes there’s a vitamin that we get from moonlight that hasn’t been discovered yet, like vitamin D from the sun, but this one is from the moon.”
“I mean, don’t rule it out,” Paloma mused. “Does she promise results?”
“From what I hear she gets them, although if you ask her, it really depends on the problem.”
“So you can just eat candy all the time as long as someone you like makes it for you?”
“No, because I’m trying to obey them both. So I need mostly sugarless love, except for my monthly doughnut, which, by the way, really loves me.”
“But anything my mom makes is fair game.”
“True. I wonder if she has a lot of cavities?”
“My mom?”
“No, your medical assistant, because of her breath mints.”
“What she has is minty breath, a lot of fun, a steady stream of boyfriends, and two beautiful children. She confessed to me the other day that she’s cheating on this boyfriend, which is difficult because he’s living with her. She met this other guy online and they meet who knows where, she won’t tell me, probably because it’s the supply closet. And I can’t get a date, not one date!”
“Have you tried picking up guys who are smoking in the parking lot?”
“To be perfectly honest, he’s not bad looking.”
“If you steal this girl’s deadbeat boyfriend that she’s cheating on, that, and only that, would tempt me to go back to making television.”
“I don’t even have time to steal her boyfriend. She, on the other hand, just took a vacation to Baja, without her kids. She very cleverly got rid of her exes so that she could give their kids back to them for a week and go to Baja. She has a great tan. And now she says she can’t get rid of her boyfriend because he owes her the money from the trip to Baja, so she has to keep him around at least until he pays her back. In case you’re wondering, he also has a great tan.”
“You have a great tan.”
“I’m Latina. But I’m pretty sure my long shifts at the hospital are turning my skin green.”
“I wasn’t going to say anything but yes, you are turning green. Good thing you started out brown. There are probably products that would help with the green. I could ask my stylist…except I think she thinks I fell off the planet.”
“I know how to get a tan. Be like my medical assistant. She works an even forty hours a week. She has a healthy glow.”
“Oh c’mon, raising two kids on your own and working full-time can’t be easy. She can’t always be happy.”
“She is. She is always happy and she is always minty. And she has so many problems!” Paloma gestured wide to encompass the span of problems.
“Everyone has problems. I mean, I guess I didn’t really used to, but I thought I did. Really, Paloma who’s going to marry me? Who’s going to have two beautiful kids with me? Who am I going to two-time?” Mimi was joking, but the thought brought tears to her eyes anyway. She blinked them away.
“I think you’re still super cute, Mimi. I’m sure the whole world still thinks you’re super cute. Probably anyone would let you…did you just say ‘two-time?’ What decade is this? Have you been watching too many old movies again? I believe the correct way to say this is that anyone would let you cheat on them, although now that I say that, it’s probably not true. But it would end up on the cover of a magazine, lucky you. Anyway, let’s just assume that anyone would let you cheat on them.”
“Because they don’t know what I’m going through. They don’t know how this body aches. They don’t know that the tips of my fingers hurt. They don’t know that I feel like I’m a million years old.” She looked at Ky and suddenly wondered how old he was. Could he be a million years old? What was happening on planet Earth a million years ago? Were there dogs? She was embarrassed that she had no idea. But anyway, he wouldn’t have had to be here, on this planet. He wouldn’t have had to be a dog. The thought was overwhelming. She would ask.
The path continued down a gentle slope; the dog park opened up on their left. Mimi had never really noticed this part of the park. Even when she was petitioning her father for a pocketbook dog she hadn’t thought of herself as going to the dog park. It looked very pleasant, though. Happy dog owners threw frisbees and tennis balls. All sizes and shapes of well-groomed dogs ran around barking joyfully. There was no fence, but trees bounded the wide-open expanse. Mimi gave Ky a confused look. Even though his face didn’t change, she could have sworn that he smiled at her.
Paloma squealed, “Ooh, can we let him off the leash?”
“Did I explain to you that he’s a highly trained professional? He’s like a dog ninja; he’s always working. All of his attention is always on me. He probably doesn’t even want to play.”
“Do you even know what a ninja is?” Paloma reached for Ky’s collar and unhooked the leash.
“He probably won’t even go anywhere,” Mimi said authoritatively.
“Go play, buddy!” Paloma said cheerfully.
Ky looked at Mimi; for a moment she was caught in the depth of his eyes. “Well, go if you want to,” she said.
Ky took off like a shot, with a long light stride where he seemed to barely touch the ground, flying deftly over the grass. He circled some other dogs and their owners. He leapt up and caught an errant frisbee and started a game of keep-away with two other dogs, darting back and forth in the late afternoon sunlight.
“Look at that! You got the best dog. He is kind of a ninja,” said Paloma admiringly.
Mimi felt a swell of pride as she watched him run. He was a big animal and yet light somehow, and agile. Going for the frisbee his jump was perfect, the landing soft and effortless. For a moment her heart soared with him, with the jump, then she thought about her own aching body and felt a sense of plummeting disappointment.
“I am so jealous of healthy people,” she said quietly. “I used to wish that I had bigger muscles and higher cheekbones. I had no idea what I could lose. Look at these people,” she gestured to the frisbee thrower and another lady calmly walking a dog on a leash. “They wish they could lose five pounds or grow a nice mustache. They aren’t going to have a seizure after dinner. Do you think it would be weird if I went up to them and said, ‘don’t bother losing five pounds! Just enjoy your after dinner drink! Enjoy your consciousness! Enjoy that you don’t have to be near a change of clothes all the time!’ I used to think that boys break your heart, but nothing breaks your heart like being sick. I mean, it’s my own body, my own brain, for God’s sake! Why can’t I stop it? Why can’t I fix it?”
Paloma wrapped her arms around Mimi.
The next morning Paloma left, hesitating at the door. “You know I love you, right? Do you need me to quit this stupid med school thing and be your personal cheerer-upper? Because you know your dad only has like a quarter of a million dollars in it so far, so I know he wouldn’t be mad.”
“Go be a doctor. I’ll be okay. I’m even going to Henry’s party.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t like that guy,” Paloma said bluntly.
“Wow, turns out nobody does.”
“What?”
“I mean, that’s good to know. I appreciate your honesty.”
“He’s too old for you.”
“That’s probably an understatement.”
“Also, he’s pompous.”
“So am I.”
“But you’re my sister.”
“I’m definitely more pompous than he is.”
“But I still think you should go. Wear some
thing pretty and have your picture taken.” Paloma mimed aiming a camera at Mimi.
“Doesn’t happen any other way,” replied Mimi.
Mimi walked inside and approached her cell phone with steely resolve. She had barely looked at it since contacting her agent except to send out a few messages that she was busy and wasn’t coming out. She pressed Henry’s number. How do you talk to a magic dude who may still think he’s kind of your boyfriend, on the phone, now that you know he’s magic but he doesn’t know you know?
“Henry? Yes, well, I’ve been busy.” Pause. “I’ve missed you too. Looking forward to it!” Pause. “Well, we’ll see. I’m just trying to make sure you have a lot of time for me on Saturday. You know, inaccessibility is Hollywood’s most valuable currency.” Mimi hung up the phone. It was easier than she thought. She looked out the window. Ky had turned into a person and was swimming in the pool. She walked to the edge as he got out.
“Martine is at the store and swimming is more fun as a man,” he said. He transformed into a dog and shook, soaking Mimi.
“Hey! No fair!” she cringed and jumped back.
“But drying off is more fun as a dog,” he said as he trotted off to lie in the sun.