Breakfast with Johann and Jeanine had been a bit of a wake up call for me. I was still drowning in my thoughts and the pain had not eased, but I was starting to see a few rays of sunshine through the clouds. Finally I was able to pull myself up in the morning, to engage other people, without my mind screaming for me to run away.

  I told myself that if I kept busy I could start to cope. There was next to nothing to busy myself with in a town so small, so I took to morning jogs by the lake before breakfast with the doctor and Jeanine. Later I would help Johann around his office if he needed anything, but there was never much. He had never had anyone work for him until recently and now he had two eager medics assigned solely to assist him.

  They were smart kids, who both wanted to continue their medical training after their service ended. I could tell he was getting a lot of enjoyment out of tutoring them. Even with the influx of the dozen or so soldiers, this little village was still dreary. The military had set up at the bed and breakfast, taking all the spare rooms for quarters and for their makeshift command center. It didn't matter though because no visitors had come since the attacks started. Even in early fall, no one would be going on vacation this year.

  Around mid morning, Jeanine and I would go out to the community garden to tend it. I had lived in New York all of my life, so I had never had an opportunity to test my green thumb. I wasn't very good at it, but it was nice to work up a sweat. Afterward we would have lunch with whichever soldiers happened to be around and then Jeanine would make her rounds with the local kids to make sure they had done their school work.

  Normally, they would have had about an hour drive to school. Given the circumstances, Jeanine had taken it upon herself to download lesson plans and work with the kids. She had been retired for a while now, but she had been an English teacher at the high school the kids attended.

  With Jesse starting to come to and being able to move around without heavy drugs, he had begrudgingly agreed to do the coursework for his GED. Unfortunately, he wouldn't be able to take the tests any time soon.

  “Do you think I can go running with you in the mornings?” He asked me, “I'm going stir crazy in here, everything is so sterile.”

  “I know, I hate that hospital smell.” I laughed, “But yeah, as soon as Johann gives you the OK, you can start running with me.”

  “How far do you usually go?”

  “I'm not sure exactly how far it is,” I responded “usually I’ll get about halfway to the pass before I turn around. There's a hunters stand thingy that I use as a marker.”

  “We should make the medics go too as punishment for using me as their guinea pig.” he joked

  “Oh they're not that bad,” I said “I actually think they're kind of sweet. You know, Coffey thinks you're cute.”

  “Oh what the hell,” He said, his face turning red “She could probably beat me up.”

  “Probably, but I think the two of them have a little something going on.”

  “Good,” he said relieved “that means I don’t have to worry about some older army chick beating me up.”

  “Yeah, she's probably got some kind of hand to hand training.”

  “I bet you could take her Liz.” he said, “you're like a 12th degree ninja or some shit right?”

  “It's Krav Maga and there aren't really belts, silly.” I said

  “Why don't they have belts? That's the coolest part.”

  “Well some places use them, but it's not technically a sports martial arts. Most schools use badges on your uniform.”

  “What kind are you?”

  “I'm a phase one instructor.” I said, “I used to do the self defense courses for women.”

  “You're only allowed to teach women?”

  “Are you blonde or just hopped up on those pain meds?” I said laughing at him.

  “Probably both. So you can teach guys how to do it to?”

  “Yes...”

  “Can you teach me?” He asked timidly. “I think I should probably learn how to fight now that Connor isn't here to do it for me.”

  “Yeah, hun.” I said patting his shoulder. “On one condition though, ok?”

  “I promise I won't try to beat people up,” he said quickly.

  “Well, that's a start, but that's not what I need from you.” I told him, “You're going to have to go through some grief counseling. We both are I think.”

  “With who?” He asked, obviously confused by the prospect.

  “Well, you'll have to settle for me for a while, but we won't be in this town forever. After that, we'll find someone in Seattle.”

  “Oh yeah,” he said, “I forgot you were a social worker.”

  “Well, I’m sure they've fired me by now.” I joked.

  “Okay, it's a deal.” He said rushing out of the room before I could trick him into anything else.

  “Where are you going?” I asked bewildered.

  “I'm gonna go find Dr. Brier,” He hollered back to me without stopping.

  Later that night as we were eating dinner, I asked Jeanine if she was sure she wanted us to stay with her. She assured me that she did, which Jesse was pretty excited about.

  “Well young man,” Johann said “you've got a few days left still.”

  “Why? I feel fine.”

  “That's because of your good friend, codeine.” Johann said, “You may feel fine, but we need to do some blood work, x rays, and a few more tests before I’m comfortable with you being active.”

  “Do we have to go somewhere to do that?” He asked, seemingly nervous about the prospect of leaving the security of this hidden little town.

  “No, no. Not at all.” He replied. “I have all of the equipment at my house. The portable x-ray machine isn't quite hospital quality, but it will suffice.”

  “You don't have to send his blood-work to a lab?” I asked

  “I would normally, but our friends from the army basically brought a field hospital with them when they arrived.” He explained, “and our lovely medics were able to convince them to leave it as long as we needed it.”

  “In case those marine boys get too rowdy, I’m sure.” Jeanine said.

  “Connor was a marine” Jesse mumbled through mouthfuls of food. It was only the second day Johann had allowed him to come over for dinner. After so long in the wilderness he was scarfing down food like he'd never had a real meal before.

  “What did he do in the Marines?” Jeanine asked, “If you don't mind talking about it.”

  “It's ok,” I said, “He was in Recon. After training he spent a few years in Central and South America. He just called it the jungle, most of the time.”

  “Why was he stationed down there?”

  “He never said too much about it,” I replied “But apparently it was a lot of intelligence gathering and helping the governments with extractions of hostages.”

  “Oh my,” Jeanine said, “Were they fighting with the drug cartels?”

  “I think so,” I told her, “But he did say that he had been to Venezuela and Columbia.”

  “Isn't that where all the drugs come from?”

  “Pretty much, but the governments are mostly corrupt, so they're involved.” I said, “He had a pretty nasty scar on his forearm that he got in Venezuela on razor wire.”

  “Did he ever get shot?” Jesse asked, still gobbling food like it was thanksgiving.

  “No, he did most of the planning and would go in while the rest of the team was keeping the guards or whatever busy.”

  “Burt always said that a man without a plan is like a fisherman who forgot his pole.” Jeanine said.

  “Connor always had a plan,” I said, surprised by how easy it was to talk about him. “He was a brilliant strategist, he was always aware of everything happening around him. All of our friends hated playing games with him, he always won.”

  “Hey, did he do that krab mava stuff too?” Jesse asked.

  “Yeah,” I sa
id laughing at his version of the name. “It was so funny, the first class we took together, the assistant instructor was trying to be a bad ass and asked if anyone thought they could take him and saying how he could literally kill people with his bare hands.”

  “I bet Connor beat his ass.” Jesse interrupted. “I mean butt, sorry.”

  “Honey, I was married to a sailor,” Jeanine said “Believe me, I heard a lot worse from Burt and Johann when we were young.”

  “We really mellowed with age, didn’t we?” Johann said fondly.

  “You two sure did, but not before teaching James a few new words.” She responded with a smile, referring to her youngest son.

  “He loved sneaking down to watch us play poker,” Johann said incredulously “It couldn't be helped!”

  “I'm sorry honey, we interrupted you, didn’t we?” Jeanine asked.

  “It's ok,” I said, I was growing fond of their stories. “Connor didn't say anything at first, but then the guy picked a student anyways. He looked terrified so Connor asked if he could spar with him in his place. So this guy, the assistant instructor, he was this big red headed guy, probably four inches taller than Connor and he didn't wait, he just started going after him as soon as he put the gloves and head gear on.”

  “What a punk” Jesse said.

  “Yeah, he kind of was.” I continued, “Of course, that kind of pissed Connor off. So he let the guy swing, just dodging him for about a minute. It was just making him mad, he looked like a giant angry beet, his face was so red. Then he does this lunging side kick at Connor and he just side stepped it and nailed him right in the jaw. The instructor just hit the ground. He was out for like five minutes.”

  “It's hard to imagine he would have much authority over the class after that.” Johann said.

  “Well the owner was watching from his office and sent him home.” I told him, “If I remember right, he ended up getting fired about a month later because of his temper.”

  “I wouldn't have come back if I got handled by a student” Jesse said laughing.

  “I know,” I said. “Connor actually used to fight competitively when he was a kid.”

  “We had our son James in boxing lessons when he was younger,” Jeanine said. “He was getting beat up on by older boys almost every day. Did Connor have problems with bullies?”

  “Well, his parents owned an auto garage” I told them, “and next door was a Kung Fu studio. His dad said he used to come to the shop everyday after school and would sneak off and watch them through the window. He would beg him to let him join, but his mom didn't want him learning how to beat people up.”

  “That didn't do a lot of good,” Jesse said, still eating even though everyone else had finished much earlier.

  “It was relatively new at the time so they weren't making a lot of money and the owner worked out a deal to cover some car repairs in exchange for lessons. Since he was there everyday anyways, he would sit in the dojo and watch the older kids on days he didn't have his class. He was six or seven when he started, I don’t remember which.”

  “So he was basically doing it his whole life right?”

  “Yeah, pretty much and he was good at it, so by the time he was eight he had won a few tournaments and was getting the lessons for free just because it was good for the studio.”

  “Oh my, I didn't realize they let kids compete so young.” Jeanine said as she was clearing off the table.

  “Yup, he went to the Junior Olympics Twice. At some point the owner's brother opened a boxing gym and talked Connor's parents into letting him train a few days a week. Which of course he did. He was so good that the Olympic Committee started courting him for three or four different things when he was fifteen.”

  “No kidding?” Johann said, “He went to the Olympics?”

  “Actually no,” I told him “I guess by that age the military recruiters were talking to kids at his school and he fell in love with the idea of being a Marine. It almost broke his dad's heart when he told him, he said he was pretty mad at him for throwing away his shot like that.”

  “Well hell, I would be too.” Jeanine said.

  “Yeah, but I guess he came to terms with it.” I said, “The first time I met his parents, his dad was showing me all of Connor's trophies and at the top of the book case was his pictures from bootcamp and of them at his graduation. He said watching Connor graduate top of his company was the proudest day of their lives.”

  “Hey, do they do Kung Fu in the marines?” Jesse asked, almost to himself.

  “No they have MCMAP, he was actually certified to instruct in that too.”

  “Sounds like a happy meal.”

  Oy, this kid.” Johann said getting up from the table to help Jeanine with the dishes, “He kills me, he spends his entire day trying to make me laugh.”

  It was the first good night I had since we arrived here. For a while I didn't even think about the war raging all around us. Spending time in the company of such kind people had taught me that even in the midst of conflict, life keeps going and we have to as well. I couldn't keep telling myself that someday I could be happy again, someday I would be able to hold my head high once more after the war was over. I didn't need to wait that long.

  Chapter 19