at him, and Calvin laughed. “Yeah, we THIRDS agents don’t do anything the easy way. Everything I told you about us was true, except the boyfriend part. Ethan and I have been best friends since we were kids. Things changed between us, and that night I left you in your apartment, things got a little heated.”
Felipe’s face went red. “Oh God, he knows about that night?”
There was no way to make it sound less awkward. “He was in the surveillance van listening.”
“He’s an agent as well?” The color in Felipe’s face intensified.
“He’s my partner at the THIRDS.”
Realization seemed to dawn on Felipe. “Was he at the table?”
“Yeah, the tiger Therian sitting next to me.”
Felipe’s eyes went wide. “Oh my God, he must want to punch my lights out.”
If Felipe had been close by that night, it’s possible Ethan might have. Calvin had never seen his partner so pissed off. “Ethan knows the job. He doesn’t hold it against you.” Too much.
Felipe’s expression softened. “From what you’ve told me about him, he sounds like a great guy.”
“He is. We’ve been through everything together. Then, like I told you that night, things changed.” Calvin took a sip of his beer. It wasn’t just the change that had turned everything upside down. It was Ethan’s inability to decide what to do about it.
“Does he feel the same about your relationship?” Felipe asked gently.
“He’s got SM—selective mutism—and social anxiety. Change is really hard for him. Something as big as this…. It’s been difficult for both of us. He hasn’t told me he loves me, but the way he feels about me has definitely changed. I don’t know if he’s ready to put a name to whatever’s going on between us or if he’ll be ready to move forward. I don’t want to push him, so we’ve been taking things slow. Really slow.”
“I can understand how the SM would make things difficult for him. I have a student with SM, though he’s responding well to the behavioral therapy. How long ago was Ethan diagnosed?”
“Late teens. Ethan was always a shy kid, and with everything going on at home, his parents assumed he was quiet. Ethan’s doing better now than when we were kids, but he didn’t take to the therapy as well as his parents had hoped. The therapy definitely helped, but he’s never been able to work past the mutism. He has good days and not so good days. When his anxiety hits him hard, it tears me up. There’s not much I can do for him on those days other than help him feel safe.”
“He’s lucky to have you.”
“I’m lucky to have him too. He gave me something to fight for.” It was hard, thinking about everything he and Ethan had endured. It wasn’t something he usually brought up. There was something about Felipe that made him feel at ease.
“What do you mean?”
“Growing up, it was me and my mom. My mom had two jobs so she could pay the rent and buy food, so I was on my own a good deal of the time. We lived in whatever shithole we could afford, though sometimes we were barely able to pay for that much. There were a few months when we were living in my mom’s car. We moved around so Social Services wouldn’t take me away from her. She did her best, and she was clean. No drugs, no booze, no string of deadbeat boyfriends. When my dad left, he took everything but the car. He would have taken that if she hadn’t chased after him with a shotgun.”
“I’m so sorry to hear that.”
“Yeah, I wasn’t always the shiny agent you see before you,” Calvin said with a laugh. He moved his gaze to his fingers, feeling embarrassed. “Anyway, Ethan wasn’t much better off. His dad lost his job after he was left paralyzed by the Melanoe virus. It slowly ate away at his immune system, affecting his leg muscles. Took years, working beneath the surface. You know what Therian medicine was like back then. Imagine being a little kid and hearing your dad screaming in pain day in and day out. No one could do anything about it. Ethan’s doctors believed he was traumatized by the ordeal, bringing on the SM. The hospital bills bankrupted them. They lost the house and everything in it, forcing them to move into a shitty complex, right next door to us. We met at school.”
“And now?”
Calvin couldn’t help his smile. “We got out. Together, we made a pact. We always wanted to help people, protect them. Ethan’s older brothers worked for the THIRDS, and Ethan wanted to follow in their footsteps. I wanted to be someone my mom could be proud of. My dad had let her down. I wasn’t going to do the same. Rafe, Seb, and Ethan worked to get their parents a new house, and I’d been saving every penny I could for years. With the THIRDS, I managed to buy my mom a nice little brownstone on the same block as Ethan’s family. By then our moms had been through almost as much as we had. They’re best friends, help each other out. We didn’t want to separate them. We’re family.”
“Can I ask a favor?” Felipe leaned in close and placed his hand on Calvin’s.
“Um, sure.”
“Would you come to my youth center and talk to the kids?”
“Me?” Calvin couldn’t help his surprise at the request.
“Yes. Your story is inspiring. Everything you and Ethan suffered, where you came from, it’s not defined you. Look at you. You saved my life. These kids need to see that, no matter where they are in life right now, it can get better. You’re living proof of that.”
“I, uh, sure. Of course. Call me, and we’ll set up a date.” Wow. Calvin didn’t know what else to say. No one had ever looked at him as a role model before. He’d never pictured himself as anything other than a survivor. Though he often wondered if he would have ended up where he was now without Ethan at his side.
There was a distinct clearing of the throat, and Calvin turned his head up at a disgruntled-looking Ethan. He narrowed his eyes at Calvin before he dropped his gaze to Calvin’s hand. Felipe swiftly pulled away. Calvin had been so lost in thought he hadn’t noticed Felipe’s hand had still been on his. He hadn’t felt Ethan approach either.
“Felipe, this is Ethan Hobbs. Ethan, you know Felipe Bautista.”
Ethan looked Felipe over, his expression guarded.
“It’s an absolute pleasure to meet you, Ethan. Calvin’s told me so much about you.”
Felipe smiled widely, and Ethan wrinkled his nose in response. This was going well. From somewhere close by, someone called over to Felipe.
“My friends have arrived. Please excuse me.”
Calvin was pretty sure it wasn’t just the arrival of his friends that had Felipe taking off in a hurry. Ethan stepped in front of Calvin, blocking his view of Felipe. Well, this was new.
“What?”
Ethan motioned behind him, where Calvin could just about make out Felipe hugging his friends and smiling brightly. They chatted before going off to find a table. When Calvin turned back to Ethan, his best friend put his hand on Calvin’s as Felipe had done.
Wait, was Ethan jealous?
“We were talking. He’s been having a hard time since the incident with Collins.”
Ethan removed his hand and turned to the bar. His expression hadn’t changed. He was jealous. At times Calvin had no idea what to do with Ethan in these types of situations. With a sigh, he got up.
“I’m going to the bathroom.” He left Ethan at the bar and headed for the restroom. How was he supposed to process this information? Ethan was jealous. So he didn’t want Calvin getting close to another guy, yet he was afraid to be with Calvin. Was it that big a step? They’d already kissed and fooled around. They had their friendship to keep them grounded. He wished he knew what Ethan wanted from him. Whatever it was, he hoped Ethan decided soon. Calvin didn’t know how much more his heart could take.
“I SEE you two are getting nowhere fast.”
Great. Just what Ethan didn’t need. He let out a grunt in response to Ash’s tease.
“Don’t get pissy with me. If you don’t make a move on your boy, someone else will. I got a feeling there’s a certain wolf Therian who wouldn’t think twice. Bautista’s alre
ady sampled the goods. Guess he liked it.”
Ethan hissed at him, and Ash chuckled. Asshole. Since when was Ash the expert on relationships anyway? Then again, he and Cael seemed to be settling into theirs. Ash was actually happy most days. It was weird. What did it say about him that Ash could get it right and he couldn’t? God, he needed a drink. He tapped the bar and held up two fingers to Bradley. With a wink, Bradley brought him a double shot of whiskey.
“Wow, on the hard stuff already?”
Ethan rolled his eyes and snatched up his whiskey glass, giving Bradley a nod in thanks. Everyone else was moving forward in their relationships except for him and Calvin. Although Ash wasn’t completely at ease with being open about him and Cael, he was doing his best and making the effort. The rumor of his relationship with a guy had spread through Unit Alpha, and instead of worrying about it, Ash went with it. He challenged anyone who tried to make something of his move from girls to guys, or rather one guy in particular. And of course he did so in typical charming Ash fashion—in other words, putting the fear of God in anyone dumb enough to make a joke at his expense.
Dex and Sloane were sweet together, even when Dex was driving his boyfriend crazy, which was the majority of the time. The two were in synch, their bond bringing them closer together, giving them the ability to sense each other in a way they hadn’t before. Ethan still couldn’t believe they’d bonded. He didn’t know all that much about Therian bonds. It was one of those things not discussed out in the open, something that stemmed from deep within their feral side. Therians were always being accused of being animals. The last thing they needed was evidence suggesting there was some truth to the accusations. His dad had talked to him and his brothers about it when they’d been younger, stressing how serious it was, how dangerous for the parties involved. If there was ever a cautionary tale, it was Seb and Hudson. His big brother hadn’t been the same since he’d lost his mate. Like a part of him was missing. He suffered daily, and Ethan hated seeing Seb in pain like that, but there wasn’t anything he or Rafe could do about it. Not that Rafe gave a shit. When had his big brother become such a dick?
With a sigh, Ethan sat on the barstool Calvin had vacated and sipped his whiskey, when Ash took a seat beside him. He ordered a beer and took a few swigs after it arrived, sitting silently. Ethan arched an eyebrow at him. Maybe Cael’s manners were rubbing off on him.
“You, me, Sloane, we’ve been through a lot of fucked-up shit. The last year and a half alone has been insane. Yet for some inexplicable reason, these guys have stuck by our side. We’ve put them through hell. We’ve hurt them bad. And they keep coming back. Now that means they’re either fucked in the head, which in Daley’s case is most likely, or they see something in us we don’t. I know you got it rough, but you got a guy who’s been bleeding for you since the day you met. He’s had your back and taken on anyone stupid enough to cause you grief. I ain’t ever seen anything like it. For a Human his size, he’s one tough little son of a bitch.”
Ethan swallowed hard. He couldn’t deny Ash’s words. Calvin had been at his side from the beginning, their friendship tested time and time again, but it never faltered. Calvin never faltered. While growing up, he’d taken on Humans and Therians, anyone who messed with Ethan. Here he was this huge tiger Therian, and his Human best friend had fearlessly defended him against all odds. He still did.
Cael cheerfully bounded over, his pink cheeks giving away how tipsy he was. He threw his arms around Ash’s neck and planted a big kiss on his cheek, making Ash chuckle.
“Hey, Trouble.” Ash gave Cael a kiss on the lips.
Ethan’s brows shot up. He might never get used to seeing this side of Ash.
“Hi, Hobbs!” Cael gave Ethan a hug before pulling back and looking around. Ethan was used to it by now. Wherever he or Calvin went, everyone expected the other to be there at all times. It didn’t annoy him. He just found it strange that everyone thought they did every single little thing together. Okay, maybe they did most things together, but not everything. He pointed behind him to the door that led to the restrooms.
“Ah, okay.”
Cael turned back to Ash, and Ethan noted how at ease he was. He noticed the special way Cael smiled just for him, the sparkle in his bright gray eyes, and the subtle gestures that always had him touching some part of Ash, his arm, his chest, his shoulder or leg.
“So…. Mr. Keeler….”
“Uh-oh.” Ash laughed and received a playful punch in the arm. He winked at Cael and nudged his cheek. “What can I do for you, sweetheart?”
“Dex says that Sloane can totally beat you at arm wrestling. I told him he’s been eating too many gummy bears and the sugar’s gone to his head, because you can totally beat Sloane.”
Ash eyed Cael. “You two made a bet, didn’t you?”
Cael nodded, a big sweet smile spread across his face. It was clear to Ethan then how easily Cael wrapped Ash around his little finger. It was also clear Ash was fully aware and went along with it anyway.
“What are the stakes?” Ash asked before taking a swig of his beer.
“If he wins, you have to wear the T-shirts of his choice for a week.”
Ash let out a low grunt. “And if you win?”
“Twenty-four hours of complete silence to distribute at the time of your choosing in whatever amount you choose.”
Ash put a hand up. “Wait. You’re saying if I beat Sloane, I get twenty-four hours’ worth of silence to dish out on your brother whenever I want? So let’s say, if he’s annoying the fuck out of me during lunch, I can tell him to shut up for an hour?”
Cael nodded. “The only exception is if it’s an emergency.”
Ash jumped off his barstool. “Let’s do this.” Cael bounced off, and Ash leaned into Ethan, talking quietly. “Don’t worry so much about fucking it up that you end up doing just that.” Ash gave his back a hearty pat before strolling off, his arm around Cael, who’d stopped to wait for him.
Ethan finished off his drink, recalling the night in the surveillance van. Not their little show in front of Dex—he was still trying to forget Dex had been there—but what had come before that. He could still hear the soft gasps and moans in his ear as Calvin seduced Felipe. Ethan had watched Felipe kiss Calvin on the front steps of his house moments earlier. It had twisted Ethan up inside. Until then he’d been trying to figure things out, but when he saw Calvin being kissed and touched by another guy, when he heard Calvin’s hoarse whispers and moans, Ethan had been ready to go feral. His inner Felid had been furious. No one was supposed to lay a hand on Calvin in that way or make him sound like that.
Ash was right about Felipe. All Calvin had to do was say the word, and the guy would make a move. Felipe might be a nice guy, but Ethan wasn’t about to give Calvin up. It was time for him to get his act together and do what he had to for the both of them.
Ethan headed for the restroom and caught Calvin as he emerged. Before anyone could spot them, Ethan pulled him into the next room. It was a supply closet filled with storage equipment, trunks, microphones, the karaoke machine case, and loads of other gear. Ethan locked the door behind him before turning to Calvin. He took hold of Calvin’s waist and lifted him onto the edge of a large speaker trunk so they were eye to eye.
“I was jealous,” Ethan admitted. He put his finger to Calvin’s lips so he could finish. “I don’t want anyone taking you away from me.”
Calvin gently moved Ethan’s hand away, his features softening. “Ethan, no one’s going to take me away from you. I love you. That’s not something I give easily.”
“I know.” Ethan put his hand to Calvin’s cheek, trying to find the right words. There was so much he wanted to say, but his thoughts got all jumbled in his head. Ever since Calvin kissed him at the hospital, Ethan had been trying to make sense of all these new and unsettling emotions. There was only one way he could approach this. The same way he approached everything with his best friend. Head-on. “When we were kids, I’d dream about you. About us.
Together.”
Calvin gaped at him. “You did?”
“Yes.” Ethan felt his cheeks heat up. There wasn’t much he kept from Calvin, but this was one of those instances where he’d believed keeping his thoughts to himself would be best for the both of them. “Lots of times.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I was scared. Scared you’d stop being my friend. If I lost you….” That earned him a scowl, and rightfully so. In his heart, Ethan knew Calvin would never stop being his best friend, but convincing his head was another matter.
“After everything we’ve been through together, did you really think I’d leave you, and over something like that?”
Ethan’s mind fought against him like it did with so many other things, allowing his fear to paralyze him. Fear was one thing that never factored into his relationship with Calvin until things started changing between them. Now he couldn’t seem to shake those fears. Change was difficult for him. Always had been. One day, when he was little, they didn’t have his favorite cereal in stock, and his mom brought home one he’d never had before. He’d cried for days. Despite being young, he knew his crying was irrational. No one had died. But to him, it felt like his world was crumbling around him. Seb helped him challenge those distorted thoughts, and soon Ethan could do it on his own. Didn’t mean it was easy, but at least he hadn’t cried over cereal since.
“One night, when you slept over, I watched you sleep. I wanted to kiss you, but my head wouldn’t let me. I told myself I had to stop thinking about you that way. How I was lucky to have you there with me. You were my whole world. You still are. After a while, it worked. I loved you, just not the way I wanted to love you.”
“Jesus, Ethan.”
Calvin swallowed hard. A host of emotions seemed to flash through his eyes, and Ethan would have given anything to know what his best friend was thinking. His shy smile squeezed Ethan’s heart.
“How did you want to love me?”
Ethan stroked Calvin’s hand as he held his gaze. His eyes were so blue. Like the ocean. Ethan loved the ocean. Why couldn’t he be more eloquent? The more he wanted to say something, the less he could say it. Like his vocal cords didn’t work. He opened his mouth, and his throat tightened. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and tried again. His pulse sped up, and he couldn’t say a damn word. Calvin put his hand to Ethan’s cheek.
“It’s okay.”
It wasn’t okay. It was frustrating and embarrassing. This was important, too important to mess up, to leave to chance, or for the moment when he could relax enough to mumble a few words. It wasn’t good enough. Not when it concerned the man who’d had his heart from the very first day they met. Who’d shed blood, sweat, and tears at his side.
Unable to draw sound for the words in his heart, Ethan kissed Calvin, intent on showing him what he meant to say. No one understood him better than Calvin. He prayed this time was no different.
Calvin blossomed at his touch, his lips parting so Ethan could slip his tongue inside his mouth to taste every crevice. Ethan lost himself in Calvin’s scent, in their hungry kiss and the desperation flowing through him at wanting to feel more of Calvin’s skin. He longed to kiss every faint freckle peppered across Calvin’s nose and cheeks, over his shoulders and back. Calvin eagerly returned his kiss, a soft gasp escaping him when Ethan wrapped his arms around him and brought him up hard against Ethan. Their breaths grew ragged, their hands exploring, fingers digging into flesh. Ethan needed Calvin to understand how much he wanted him, even if at times he didn’t know how to say so.
Ethan’s tongue swirled around Calvin’s before he pulled back. He trailed wet kisses down Calvin’s chin, up his jawline to his neck. His hands slipped under Calvin’s T-shirt, his fingers caressing soft skin before moving down to Calvin’s waist. Ethan delved in for another hungry kiss, loving the taste of him. With every caress, Ethan craved so much more. He unbuttoned Calvin’s jeans and tugged them down with his boxer briefs, groaning when Calvin lifted himself enough for Ethan to get his jeans and underwear down around his knees, releasing his leaking cock.
Ethan palmed Calvin’s erection, a low growl rising up from his chest at his best friend’s whimpers. No one would make Calvin sound like this but him. Never again. It had been different for Calvin with Felipe. Ethan’s heart broke when he thought about how Calvin hadn’t been completely faking it. Thankfully, Calvin had managed to get the information he needed from Felipe before things could go too far. Ethan knew Calvin well. It had been agonizing listening to them. At one point he’d been forced to remove his earpiece. It was different now. The sounds Calvin made, the gasps, pleas, and moans, the way his fingers dug into Ethan’s shoulders as Ethan got down on his knees and wrapped his lips around Calvin’s dick, were unlike any he’d heard come from his best friend before today. The sounds were new, his pleasure greater, like he couldn’t get enough of Ethan. Job or no job, no one was going to be kissing Calvin’s lips but him. His inner Felid roared at the thought.
“Oh God, Ethan.” Calvin’s fingers slipped into Ethan’s short hair, holding on tight as Ethan sucked, licked, and nipped at Calvin’s cock. His whimpers and pleas urged Ethan forward. He wanted to consume Calvin, wanted to hold him close and never let go. Calvin’s hips lifted, and Ethan held him, his mouth taking Calvin down to the root. His best friend smelled faintly of soap and his own heady musk, the scent filling Ethan’s nostrils and driving him crazy. He doubled his efforts, sucking at Calvin’s head then licking his slit, lapping up any precome on offer. Ethan’s fingers squeezed at Calvin’s asscheeks. They were round and firm and begging for Ethan to bury himself in between them.
“Ethan,” Calvin gasped his warning, his hips bucking. Ethan tightened his lips around Calvin and picked up his pace, his tongue pressed against the underside of Calvin’s cock, his moan reverberating against Calvin and sending him over the edge. Ethan’s warm mouth filled with the taste of Calvin, and he eagerly swallowed every drop. He continued to suck Calvin until Calvin hissed at the tenderness. Gently, Ethan pulled off him. He licked at the corner of his mouth, his gaze on Calvin, who shuddered, his eyes hooded and filled with lust. He tenderly pulled Ethan to his feet before pushing him away so he could hop down. His intense blue eyes remained on Ethan while he tucked himself away and sorted out his clothes. Then he stepped up to Ethan, his voice throaty and rough as his fingers stroked Ethan’s arm and chest.
“Tell me what you want.”
Ethan unzipped his jeans and pushed them down, his thick, hard cock jutting up against his stomach. He was painfully hard, and Calvin’s low moan, along with the way he licked his bottom lip, didn’t help. The sight of Calvin on his knees looking up at him from under long blond lashes had him letting out a low groan. Calvin’s plump lips around Ethan’s dick almost undid him. His face grew warm, and he wondered if his cheeks were as flushed as Calvin’s. Probably not. Calvin’s fair skin flushed easy, a sweet rosy hue that made Ethan smile. There were nights his imagination ran wild, and he’d dream of this, of Calvin’s mouth on him. He’d wonder what his best friend tasted like, what his skin felt like. Usually it was followed by guilt. Now there was only the sheer pleasure brought on by Calvin’s mouth and hands on him. Ethan’s heart pounded fiercely, and his body was on fire, or at least that’s what it felt like.