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15
I stepped outside, into the blinding light, the late afternoon filled with the squeals from children who had stolen the police tape off a crime scene and were running with it clutched in their uplifted hands, the yellow ribbons streaming behind them. They rushed into the park, over the newly seeded grass, where burnt leaves swirled off the trees and scattered around them before spinning over me.
When the leaves settled, I saw Satch and Rico and lifted my head, scowling to hide my embarrassment as I remembered how Satch had seen me with Trek.
Rico met me and picked the leaves from my hair. His fingers lingered, caressing my face. “Trek didn’t explain everything to you,” he said, the patronizing tone in his voice irritating me. “It’s dangerous what he’s asking.”
“So is walking to school,” I countered, squeezing around him. “I wouldn’t be a gangster if I wanted to play safe. I’d be trying to snag a guy and end up pregnant before I finished high school, and then live off welfare and part-time jobs. I want more than crying babies and swollen ankles, and that requires risk.”
“Blaise.” Rico stretched my name into three syllables to show me he didn’t like my response, which only annoyed me more. “If the guy you’re luring gets suspicious, you’ll be the first target.”
I whipped around. “Where do you think I’ve been living? I’ve been a target all my life.”
“You can’t do this,” he said, more strongly now.
“Did I say I was going to?” I broke away from him and glanced at Satch, who trudged behind us. His silence irked me. Was it so impossible for him to imagine me as a lure? I clenched the money and hurried away, furious with Rico for arguing with me and just as mad at Satch for not.
Rico chased after me. “So you told Trek no?”
“He just asked me. I haven’t decided.” I plodded forward, my heavy steps expressing my agitation. I needed time alone to think.
“How can you even consider it?” Rico caught up to me.
“The money,” I said. “What other reason could there be?”
“I can give you money.” He had offered this before. “Everything I have is yours. Tell me how much you want. I’ve got plenty now.”
“You need what you have. You’re already supporting your mother.” I drew back, skirting around him, and bumped into Satch, whose hands clamped my shoulders and forced me to stay still as he moved in front of me.
“You’re tough,” Satch said, “but you’re not tough enough to do what Trek’s going to expect from you.” His hands fell to his sides. “The danger doesn’t stop after you’ve lured a guy.”
“After I’ve lured a guy? What? You think I could?” I held his gaze for a long moment.
“Of course I do,” he said, glancing sideways at Rico. “Only a fool wouldn’t be attracted to you.”
Excitement shivered through me, but before I could reflect on what he had said, Rico barged between us.
“A guy who is beaten because you distracted him is going to remember how he got caught,” Rico said. “And when he recovers, he’ll come after you, and it won’t be a quick revenge. You’ve heard the stories.”
I nodded, my mood dampened. “But Danny . . . he wouldn’t.”
“What makes you think Trek’s only going to use you for Danny?” Satch asked as we stopped in front of my grandmother’s house.
I had no answer.
Rico drew in a deep breath, revving up to give me a lecture, but Satch spoke first. “We won’t catch Danny on our own. So it’s on you. Is that what you want, Danny with his face smashed in?”
“No.” I clenched my purse strap. “But don’t put it on me. If I don’t lure him, Trek will find someone else. So what’s the difference? You’re not going to get out of beating him if I say no.”
“You’re going to do this, aren’t you?” Rico said with unpleasant coldness.
“Maybe.”
He picked up a discarded beer bottle and threw it across the street. The glass shattered against the curb, shards rattling down the gutter. He turned back, his words seething through his teeth. “If you do this, then I’m looking at a dead girl. How long do you think you’ll last?”
“We all have to go sometime.” I responded with the gangster’s mantra before I hurried to the porch, leaving them with their unfinished lectures.
Without making a sound, I went inside and glanced back at the street. Satch and Rico had already left. A familiar heaviness weighed on my heart. Their quick departure told me they weren’t going to get over this easily. Maybe they never would. Quietly, I shut the door, the money still scrunched in my hand.
I started toward the kitchen and was surprised to see my grandmother at the table, her back to me, palms upturned, her focus too deep in prayer to have heard me come in. I tiptoed closer, listening to her murmur while I stared at the medical bills spread in front of her. How many doctors was she seeing? Even with Medicare, the amount she owed, highlighted in yellow, was staggering.
Next to the stack of bills was an overdue notice from the mortgage company. She had told me that the house payment was more than her social security check, but I had never imagined it could have been that much higher. A mortgage banker had taken advantage of her, convinced her that she could manage the payment and, when she couldn’t, the bank had charged her ridiculously high late fees.
I saw her struggle in the long column of withdrawals on the statement for my college fund. She had tried to keep her dream of sending me to college a reality by taking out only a little money at a time. Even so, she had almost depleted the account.
I placed the money that Trek had given me on the table in front of her. “I love you, Grandma,” I said.
She flinched, her smile faltering as her eyes tracked down to the money and, then, back to me. “Where did you get this?”
“I told you about my job looking after the dogs,” I said.
She counted the money, pressing each bill flat. When she finished, she frowned, her face besieged with doubt. “Five hundred dollars is too much for feeding dogs.”
The amount staggered me.
“Where’d you get so much money?”
“Trek,” I said.
“He gets his money in a bad way,” she countered.
There was no use lying. The truth seemed suddenly stronger. “Trek is the only way I have to help you.”
“Then don’t.” Her frown deepened as her finger tapped the money. “You take this back.”
“I can’t,” I said in a low voice. “I won’t.”
Her eyes widened slightly to hear me defy her, but she no longer had the strength she’d once had to scold me into a corner.
I continued, “If you don’t stop working, you’ll be dead in less than a year and, without you, I’ll end up living with my mother. Would you want that?”
“You know I wouldn’t.” She shook her head.
“Then let me help you the only way I can. Please.”
She wiped the edges of her eyes. I had given her an impossible choice, between Trek and my mother.
“I promise I’m not doing anything wrong,” I lied this time to be kind. “I’m just working for Trek.”
“This isn’t fair to you, baby,” she whispered. “Isn’t fair and isn’t right. If I were stronger—”
“But you’re not.” I shushed her. “So you have to let me do this. It’s just a job like any other. I’m not getting involved in the bad stuff. I promise. But Trek’s got money and he’s generous.”
I could feel her giving in, and slowly the shaking of her head turned into a nod. I pulled her to me. I could barely feel the weight of her arms and knew I’d made the right decision.
“Let me finish out the month,” she bargained. “Maybe we can catch up on the bills, sell the house, and move.”
“One month,” I agreed, to give her hope, though I didn’t know how she could manage that long. “And then you
quit your job. You’ve sacrificed everything for me, and it’s time to let me take care of you.”
“Thank you, baby,” she whispered, choking on the words. “It’s been hard. I couldn’t even get all my floors cleaned last night.”
Her gratitude absolved me of any shame. If Danny had to live the rest of his life with a crooked nose so my grandmother could stay home and enjoy the limited days she had left, then so be it. Ariel might never forgive me. And Satch and Rico were never going to understand—but in that moment, holding my grandmother while she cried, I had decided to become the lure.
UNCORRECTED E-PROOF—NOT FOR SALE
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16
I had outgrown the color pink but still lived with it ruffled around my room. A year ago, in desperation, I had painted one wall yellow with old paint I’d found in the garage. The pink had seeped through, leaving a lurid, pulsating orange that Ariel had promised to cover with a mural. Tonight, she was blocking out the figures while I sat on my bed, watching her. She had sketched four girls across my bedroom wall, their faces divided with lines as she worked on their expressions. I was, without doubt, the angry one.
“Why did Melissa want us to meet here?” Ariel asked, checking the time on her cell phone. She had dressed as if she was going on a mission: long-sleeved black T-shirt, work shoes and jeans, no false eyelashes.
“She told me it was a surprise,” I replied, wondering why Ariel had said nothing about Danny. Did she think I hadn’t seen her inside Tulley’s?
She returned to her drawing, her charcoal stick scratching the wall. “I can’t stay much longer.”
“Why?” I asked. “Are you meeting someone?”
“I have to—”
“Where’s that Egyptian cross you bought for protection?” I demanded.
She shrugged. “Lost it, I guess.”
“In Tulley’s liquor store?”
The charcoal screeched under the pressure of her fingers before it shattered.
“Friends don’t keep secrets from each other,” I said.
Ariel picked up the charcoal fragments and started packing her pencils into a canvas tote. “I’m not keeping secrets, I’m keeping you safe,” she said without looking up. “I’m not telling you anything in case I’m found out. There’s no reason for both of us to get killed.”
“And death is the best outcome, isn’t it? Because worse things happen to girls in our neighborhood. Is any guy worth the risk?”
“Danny is,” she responded in a low voice as the door opened downstairs.
“I’m sorry I’m late!” Melissa yelled, barging inside.
Ariel looked up, surprised. “She sounds happy. Could she be?”
We stood motionless, waiting, and I realized we were both hoping to hear her sing. Finally, we walked down the hallway to meet her.
“Surprise!” Melissa yelled, carrying an assortment of shopping bags that rustled against her jeans as she raced up the stairs. “I would have been here hours ago, but it took me forever to pick out the right clothes and makeup for you, Blaise.” She breezed past us, acting bubbly, but her eyes had a hollowness that sent a shudder through me.
“We need to get started,” Melissa continued. “Trek said I have to transform you into a lure, and that could take all night.”
“A lure?” Ariel whipped around, her eyes sparking with suspicion when she looked at me. “Who are you supposed to set up?”
“Trek wants her to go after Danny,” Melissa said from my bedroom.
Ariel shoved me against the wall, her arm jammed into the base of my neck. “Is that why you were asking so many questions?”
I sputtered, my throat gurgling. I didn’t fight back, though I knew I could win, because that victory would cost me our friendship.
Melissa heard me gag and glanced over her shoulder. Dropping the bags, she rushed back and pulled Ariel off me. “What’s that about?”
“Friends don’t keep secrets from each other,” Ariel said, her words punching the air.
“She didn’t tell me either,” Melissa said, holding on to Ariel. “Trek did. I mean, look at her. Is she sexy enough to make a guy forget he’s got enemies? There’s no way she could have believed Trek was serious. That’s why she didn’t say anything.”
Looking me up and down, Ariel’s anger vanished. “Sorry.”
I hadn’t thought Trek was making fun of me, but I let them believe I had. I said nothing and rubbed my neck, annoyed at both my friends.
As Melissa headed back to my room, Ariel pressed her face against my ear. “You’ll warn me if you really do go after Danny, right?”
“Of course,” I lied, hoping she’d fall out of love with him before I had to do anything. If they had a bad enough split, maybe she’d even be happy to see him with a busted nose.
“I can’t stay,” Ariel said, snooping around the makeup and brushes that Melissa was setting out on my desk. She stuck a lipstick up her sleeve, grabbed her tote, and headed for the hallway.
“I saw you,” Melissa yelled after her.
“I knew you would.” Ariel laughed as she ran down the stairs.
“Did she really think I wouldn’t see her take the lipstick?” Melissa asked, pulling the chair away from my desk and motioning for me to sit.
“You bought two,” I said, the chair legs squeaking under me. “That’s like an invitation.”
“Ariel’s the reason I had to buy two,” Melissa said defensively before she ran a comb through my hair. She grabbed a pair of scissors from her pile of beauty tools and, without looking at me, said, “So tell me all about it. I want to hear every detail. How did Trek choose you? You must have been thrilled.” She tried to sound casual, but I could hear the jealous strain in her voice.
“I’m sure you were his first choice,” I said, wondering if she had grown so dependent on Trek that she was fearful of losing him. “But there’s no way he could use you when everyone knows you’re a couple.”
“I suppose.” The scissors snipped across my forehead and, after all the clumps of hair had settled on my lap, she lifted my chin and examined her work, the tips of the blades dangerously close to my eyes. “Trek said you were a natural, but how could he know unless—?”
“Melissa!” Had Trek purposefully tried to make her jealous? He must have. “Tara told Trek I was a natural after she watched me take down Dante.”
Smiling slightly, Melissa seemed to relax. “I heard about the way you slammed him to his knees.” She appeared pleased that I had.
“Were you just playing around with Dante?” I ventured, watching her closely. “You know, having fun, when I interfered?”
She drew in a ragged breath. “I’m okay with Dante.”
But I didn’t see okay in her eyes. I saw hate. Even so, I didn’t push her, because I sensed she was still too fragile for me to pressure. Had Dante been one of the nine? I couldn’t remember.
“I’m going to keep him away from you anyway,” I vowed.
She paused, staring at nothing, and I thought she’d muttered “thank you,” though I wasn’t sure. When she finally turned back, she forced a smile and held up a pair of tweezers. “This is going to hurt.”
“Ouch!” She hadn’t lied. I leaned back and grimaced as she plucked my brows.
While she did my makeup and curled my hair, she talked about Trek, her voice sometimes rising to a tightness that made me think she was going to cry, but I didn’t see tears until we stood in front of my grandmother’s mirror, breathing the fusty smell of a bedroom that never saw sunlight.
“Wow,” she whispered. I could tell she was comparing our faces. I had never been her competition before. “Trek was right,” she said slowly, her tone hard to read. “You look incredible.”
Finally, I glanced at my reflection and took in a sharp breath, my stomach twisting. I looked like my mother, the startlingly beautiful girl who had been homecoming queen and snow p
rincess and my father’s girlfriend. I lifted my hand and waved, testing to make sure I was really seeing me.
“Come on,” Melissa said. “Trek wanted to check you out after I finished.”
“Not tonight,” I said, self-conscious. No one had ever seen me dressed like this, so brazenly exposed. I was wearing lacy underwear, softer than any I’d ever owned, a sleek blue dress that slithered over my body, and stiletto heels that killed my toes. “I’m not ready.”
Melissa sat on my grandmother’s bed and let out a slow, quiet sigh. “Blaise, if you don’t go with me, Trek will think I didn’t want him to see you.” She looked up at me. “Please. Let me show you off.”
I hesitated.
“Satch and Rico won’t be at the party, if that’s what’s got you worried. They’re collecting some money for Trek.” She waited and then added, “Please do this for me.”
I pushed my modesty aside and held out my hand. “Let’s go.”
“Thanks.” Her sudden smile warmed me.
I grabbed my key and followed her outside, where I kept glancing at the dark houses, fearful a neighbor would see me marching down the street half-naked.
As we passed Tulley’s, I could hear the music blasting from Tara’s house. Dogs howled in pain from the ear-piercing sounds that didn’t seem to bother the guys leaning against the cars parked on the lawn.
Unaware of how deep my embarrassment actually was, Melissa led me up the walk, past the homeboys who followed us inside where the hot, moist air felt gluey after the cold.
Beneath my feet, the floor trembled from the music pounding out of the speakers, the vibration quivering up my body. I breathed in the smoke, my stomach jittery and, as my eyes adjusted to the dim light, I felt hands brushing over me, touching my hair and arms. Guys who usually ignored me crushed around me, candlelight illuminating their faces. I could see their desire and sensed it, too, as they asked my name, trying to talk to me over the loud music. No one even recognized me.
I was expecting Melissa to show me how to handle so many guys, but she was breathing jaggedly, her eyes wide and empty. Some of the homeboys pushing against us had been part of the nine who had taken her upstairs the night of the rollins.