“You speak of angels and afterlives and yet you suppose there might be no God involved?”
“I’m just saying … maybe there is a God but He gave up on us. Or maybe … He’s dead. No one seems to be minding the shop over there.”
“Not even these angels of Penult?”
“I keep telling you, these guys are no angels. And they’re not in charge of anything. They’re just sticking their noses into things that are none of their business. That’s why I’m helping out the other side. And that’s why these so-called ‘Friends’ are after me.”
Jessica sat there, contemplating her glass of schnapps.
“What will they do with you if they catch you?”
“Kill me … most likely.”
“And your soul … where then would it go?”
“I’m not sure. The Deeps, I guess. Unless there’s some other place I don’t know about.”
Jessica slid back her chair and went to a cupboard near the mantle.
“My uncle used to own a handgun, I remember. Auntie used to nag him to make sure the cupboard was locked when the nephews and nieces came to visit. If only I can find the key.”
“Jess … I don’t need a gun. I have … other ways.”
“So you tell me. But I don’t have any of these … ways. If you conk out again, I need to be able to protect myself.”
She slid her hand along the mantle top. Her eyes lit up.
“Found it!”
She scrambled to unlock the cupboard, and removed a very ancient looking revolver, with a cracked grip and a tarnished barrel.
“And there are bullets too!”
“Jess. If these guys come after us. Just run away. Don’t try and mess with them. Don’t protect me. It’s not worth it.”
“Yeah right. I’m just going to let them barge right in and assassinate or mercy kill you. Fat chance I’m going to sit idly by or, God forbid, run off if that happens.”
“Jess, please.”
“Will you shush? I am a grown woman capable of making my own decisions! I will assess the situation at hand and react appropriately.”
“Not that I can stop you once I’m crossed over. Just … be careful.”
***
Our schnapps-lubricated lunch went to our heads and made us both a bit loopy. Jess told me about growing up in small town Wales as a weird mix of tom boy and blue-haired emo artist. Not only did she collect and repair old lawn mowers, she liked to carve winged dragons from uprooted tree trunks. She showed me pictures of her work on her phone and they were amazing. I had seen her whittling off and on at Cwm Gyrdd farm, but I never suspected she was a sculptor.
Every now and then, one of us would peek out a window to make sure no strange people were stalking us. We never found cause for alarm and never saw anything out of the ordinary apart from a stray pig that wandered by chomping on a corn cob.
The cottage had no TV or radio, not that it mattered. I was completely out of touch with the world at this point. China could have invaded Hawaii for all I knew. The Miami Dolphins could have won the World Series.
With night approaching, it was time to scrounge another meal from the well-stocked pantry. Jess improvised a dinner from pasta and tomato sauce and canned sausages that was worthy of a candelabra.
We locked the doors and shuttered the windows. Jess gave me a quick and furtive hug before retiring up a narrow staircase to the loft that held her Auntie’s bed. I collapsed on an overstuffed sofa in the parlor.
I was out in a flash.
***
Simple dreams awaited me, but the Singularity’s flow never strayed too far from my subconscious these days. My dreams were jumbled. Me digging holes in my backyard in Fort Pierce, finding tangles of worms. Me driving north on the interstates, thunderstorms in the distance, huge insects splatting on my windshield. Not Lalibela huge. More like sparrow and robin dimensions.
I fled these annoying dreams and escaped into the Singularity, surprising myself with the ease of my entry into its flow. I let the stream carry me wherever it wanted to take me. I was done with forcing it to hunt for Karla. But having no aim meant drifting aimlessly, flitting between heads with no discernible pattern.
These souls I traversed, I could feel their longings and anxieties, but they remained strangers to me, their souls only briefly engaged and released. Hundreds of souls later, the Singularity finally found me a familiar face, and it was a notable one.
Wendell.
He was in London, standing outside a hotel, waiting for a valet to bring him his rental car. He instantly sensed my presence. He chuckled and winked into the void.
“Hay, hey! No worries kid. Pay no mind to that Zhang. You’re doing just great. You stay put, right where you are. The cavalry is on its way.”
And as quick as that I flitting back out of London. My mind might have been over her, but my heart still pined for Karla and the Singularity strived to serve me. But I drifted nowhere, circling, doubling back, before stalling. I don’t know whether the Singularity had abandoned me or had no clue where to send me. Maybe she was nowhere to be found. What that suggested about the status and disposition of her soul disturbed me.
I tried to hang out longer and find out more but I had no more control of my direction than a minnow in flash flood. Uncertainty converged with fear and frustration. Despair sank its fangs deep. The roots came up and took me.
Chapter 54: Volunteers
For once, the roots dumped me in a comfortable landing spot—smack-dab on my sleeping mat deep in the warren. I was not alone. Ubaldo stood over me, goggle-eyed and gawking.
“He returns!”
Olivier burst in from my little walled-in patio. His eyes too were wide and excited.
“Sheesh! You picked a fine time to fade, kid. But maybe that’s a good thing. Now that you’re back, maybe it means you’ll stick around long enough for us to finish. Yo, Baldo. Go tell the others we got the kid back.”
The young Duster flew out the door and into the warren.
“Finish … what?” I said, my head still foggy.
“What do you mean ‘what’? You were there. You heard. We got the go ahead. We’re getting ready to raid Penult.”
“Oh, right.”
“Come on, we gotta get our asses moving. Cherubs hit the upper rim last night and it looks like they’re regrouping for another go. They’re throwing everything they got at us. At this rate, I’d be shocked if New Axum holds out another week. We’re lucky they’re out of columns. At least, I hope so. I suppose if they had any, they wouldn’t be shy about using them.”
For some reason I was having a harder time than usual clearing the cobwebs from my brain. It didn’t help that I didn’t want to be here. I just wanted the Liminality to go away and leave me alone. I stared up at Olivier, unable to budge.
“The rest of the assault party’s up on the plaza getting their shit together. We got eleven volunteers plus you, me, Yaqob and Baldo. Bugs for everyone, all saddled and provisioned. Three pairs of Seraph wings. Three cracker columns. And … uh … there’s something else up there … you gotta see.”
“Three columns?”
“You heard me. We’re taking three. And as far as everyone else knows, they all work. Got it?”
“Okay. But I only made one replica. Where did the third come from?”
He sighed. “I whipped one up while you were away. Pretty feeble. Not as pretty as yours, but we’ve got them all shrouded up so no one’s the wiser. I got a feeling your copy isn’t all that far off from being made functional. It just needs a little more inspiration and perspiration.”
“I’m not so sure about that. Hey, does anybody know for sure where we’re going exactly?”
“Of course. What, you think we would go in blind? This isn’t a suicide mission. We’ll be doing this in two jumps. First we head to the shore where we rest the bugs, get them fed. We’ll be setting down pretty close to where the Cherubs land their boats so it could get a little dicey. But it’s the short
est route across the strait.”
“Penult’s … an island?”
“You betcha. Yaqob sent scouts back in the early days when they first invaded and we didn’t know where the fuck these bastards came from. But it’s been awhile since we sent anyone back that way. I suspect the island hasn’t moved, but it’ll be good to have an update, see what we’re getting ourselves into. If all goes well, we should hear back from Urszula sometime tomorrow. It’s a half day flight, there and back. We’ll rendezvous on the shore.”
I hauled myself off my slab of a bed, my stomach full of butterflies.
“Urszula went ahead … on her own?”
“Nah. She’s got Kitt and Tyler with her. No worries. Everyone’s got a bug. The Pennies don’t have anything that can keep up with a dragonfly.”
I fished my jeans from a tangle of blankets and pulled them on. It was nice not to have to weave a new set from scratch, although these didn’t smell too fresh. I pulled on my hoodie, zipped it and grabbed my blackened sword.
I resolved to go through the motions and do whatever Olivier wanted of me. What else could I do? I couldn’t just sit here and wait for the Cherubim come swarming through the warren.
***
The plaza was arrayed with the strangest assortment of insects. Tigger was there, of course, along with three other dragonflies fresh from the bogs from the looks of their unblemished wings and cuticles. Yaqob and his aides were busy equipping a strange, two-winged creature with a long snout and a nasty-looking barbed tail. It almost looked like a winged scorpion.
The shortage of dragonflies had apparently forced the Dusters to press other insects into duty. Ubaldo sat astride a lanky and menacing white-faced hornet. A pair of scarabs lapped at some brown slurry in a trough.
I didn’t see any mantids around. It made sense. Though they excelled in battle, they were not at all suited for long distance flights. They were probably all down defending the rim.
Reznak and Hailay came over with some Old Ones to huddle with Yaqob. The Frelsian brass strolled separately through the formation, reviewing the preparations. Victoria was looking a little more spry and alert and that worried me. She wore a sly smile that made her look like a cat about to kill a sparrow.
Olivier I passed among the volunteers, who were milling about, strapping weapons to saddles, adjusting their armor. One stood apart from the rest, lacing up a pair of boots. I stopped in my tracks, not believing what I was seeing. My stomach dropped. My head swam. I wobbled.
“Karla?”
She looked up at me, her face all wary and stiff as if she were not particularly pleased to see me. The sheer coldness in her eyes stung me. She never looked more like her father. The essence of Edmund Raeth stared back at me, all smug and righteous and dismissive.
“What are you doing here?” I said, my voice quavering.
“Doing my part,” she said, calmly. “You did yours. So now I do mine.”
“You’re going on the raid with us?”
“Obviously.”
I turned and looked at Olivier. “You knew she was here? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“She showed up … after you faded. I figured you needed to see for yourself.”
Karla stepped closer like she expected me to hug her. I kept my arms to myself and stepped back, which induced her to smirk.
“You have every right to be angry with me. I understand. But I told you, we were desperate. But you dismissed me. It was looking like you might never return here on your own. I needed to find some way to get you here. We need you.”
Normally, I would have held back, self-conscious of all these faces watching us, but I just tuned them out. It was like the whole plaza was empty but for me and Karla.
“We? What about you? Do you need me?”
“Of course. Why would you even ask?”
“This place was never our problem, Karla. We didn’t ever have to come back here again. We had lives to live.”
“You … had a life. I had nothing.”
“You had me. We had a whole life in front of us, there for the taking, but you rejected it … for no good reason. You rejected life … with me. You rejected me.”
“This has nothing to do with you. It is only my life I do not want. If you want to live, then live.” She gave this little shimmy of a shrug and bit her lip. But then her face shifted and this sad look came over her. “Please. Do not hate me.”
“I don’t hate you. I could never hate you. I’m just … disgusted.”
“Disgusted? How?” She scrunched her face. “Listen. I know you did not want to come back here. I know … I forced you … to become miserable like me. But I had no choice. The Liminality … is our future. Life … yes, there are nice moments … but they are gone in a flash. This afterlife is our future. It is forever. We have to preserve our future, no?
I just stood there shaking my head slowly. “I’m sorry … but life … real life … is way better than this place will ever be. That world we were all born into is … special. Why not enjoy it? Give it a chance. The afterlife can wait.”
“You don’t understand,” she said. “I’m talking about preserving our immortality. I’m talking eternity here. You are talking about … eighty years maybe … if we are lucky.”
“Eighty years? That’s a long time, Karla. You’d didn’t even give us a year. We didn’t even have a month together, for Chrissakes. What the fuck? You ditch me for this place? This ain’t life. It’s not even close.”
“No, not yet. But we can make it special,” said Karla. “This can be made … a very nice existence. But not … with Penult … here. And … I think you know this … there is no guarantee we control our destiny, that we end up here when we die unless we arrange to become Freesouls. If we leave it to chance, let the afterworlds choose where we go, we can end up in other places. Horrible places. More horrible than the Deeps. But here, we can cheat the universe. Make a nice place for ourselves. Forever. But not with Penult doing what they do. They need to be defeated.”
“And if we fail? What then? Would you go back? To the living world?”
She ground her teeth. “I am already still there, unfortunately. But I do not think I can stay for much longer, no matter what happens here. I need to find my sister. To whatever realm has taken her. I will go. Maybe you can help? Maybe this Singularity can find her, like it found me?”
“You would go … like … even to the Deeps? Seriously? You would go back to the Deeps?”
She bobbed her head. “If she is there. You don’t understand. But how can you? You were an only child. But she is my sister. My baby sister.”
My mouth dropped. I liked Isobel and I felt bad for whatever happened to her, but how did I fit into Karla’s view of existence? Did I even matter to her?
“Well, now. I see your priorities. And they don’t involve me.”
“That is not true.”
I started quaking like I had a fever. Stuff was loosening in the chest and threatening to break free. I thought I was going to explode and spatter my guts all over the plaza, all over all the faces watching this whole awkward encounter. I turned to Olivier “She can’t come with us. I can’t handle it.”
“She volunteered.”
“I don’t care. I don’t want her coming along.”
“James. We need every volunteer we can get,” said Olivier. “I was hoping for fifty. We only got fifteen, not counting the scouts.”
“Fuck it, then. I won’t go. It’s either her or me. You decide.”
I stood there, gazing off down the wide, steep avenue that led down to the rim. A flight of falcons dodging plasma blasts pursued a mantid rider along the cliff top. Something large flew up at the mantid and missed, slamming into a partially restored building. Its wall collapsed and crumbled. A band of armored Frelsian troops rushed across the junction and down the promenade to meet yet another threat. New Axum was not going to hold much longer.
Olivier leaned over, his voice hushed. “James. It’s cool. I’ll
make sure you don’t have to work with her. Just let her come along. Please.”
“Fine,” I said, sighing. “But keep her out of my face.”
Chapter 55: The Shore
I slunk away across the plaza, seeking a quiet place to be alone, buy some time to get my head together. I was tearing up and I didn’t want anyone to see me cry, especially not Karla.
What the hell was she thinking, showing up now? I was doing what she wanted, attacking Penult, however futile the outcome of our piddling raid was to be. Why did she need to go and butt in now? How was I supposed to concentrate on anything important with her around?
I kept my head averted and ducked behind a stone fountain at the base of the meadow. This fountain been dry last time I had seen it. Someone had recently restored the flow.
Gravity-fed spring water gushed a few feet up into the air from the central aqueduct, cascading down six spillways to the pebble-lined channel that encircled it. It emptied into a deep groove that slashed across the plaza carrying clean water deep into the warren.
A bunch of insects came flying in, all bearing riders—another scarab beetle and several sleek and nimble creatures I hadn’t seen before, not in the Liminality anyhow. Whatever they were, they landed close to Tigger and spooked him. He took off and flew over to the meadow next to the Reaper pens.
I strolled towards Tigger, not because I thought I could comfort him, but figuring he was my responsibility and I should keep him from straying too far. He preened his antennae as he watched me approach with those huge compound eyes. He let me come right up to him without threatening to taste me or attempting to flee. I was impressed.
I climbed up behind his wings and checked my ‘fat man’s’ saddle, finding it perfectly configured with the cinches and straps all snugged up tight. Someone had already gotten Tigger prepped and ready to go for me.
My Tyvek-patched Seraph wings were folded up and lashed to the base of his abdomen. Water skins were slung from loops. The saddle bags were stuffed with manna chips and some gooey, smelly crap wrapped in leaves that I hoped was meant for Tigger’s consumption and not mine.
Olivier whistled to get our attention and waved for us to join him. Tigger let me climb aboard, no problem, but I just sat there in the saddle kicking and stomping and patting his shell, trying to get him to go.