“Oh? What wish is that?”
“You wanted me dead. You wanted me stuck here.”
“No. I wanted us to be free. Our souls.”
“Free.”
“We’ve talked about this. You know—“
“Listen. I’ve got some good news for you. The Brynmawr ladies … they think they found Izzie.”
Karla gaped.
“What? Where?”
“She’s in Scotland, they think. They have an address. Wendell’s taking us there as we speak.”
“You’re working with Wendell? But … where exactly is she? Is she alright? Does Papa have her?”
“I don’t know. We’ll … find out. The ladies talked to Gwen.”
“But I talked to Gwen and she told me nothing.”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. Things change. Maybe Izzie got back in touch with her.”
Karla’s features had transformed. There was a glow in her eyes that I hadn’t seen in a long time. She leaned forward and kissed me.
“This is so wonderful. This … changes everything.”
“How so?”
“Well. I need to see her. She needs me.”
“So … what? Are you gonna fade?”
“If I could … I would. Fuck this raid.”
“Yeah, well … I’m without on that. I’m not feeling so gung ho about it myself.”
“But this raid is important for us. You do realize that? Not me. I am not important. But for you … for us … this raid … will determine our future.”
“Oh? Are you a fortune teller now?”
“Don’t play dumb. You know what I am saying. You are the key. I am just a helper.”
“So go and fade. See if I care. What’s stopping you?”
She squinted at me. “What is wrong with you? You have never talked to me this way before. There is something different in your voice.”
“I’m fucking dying, Karla and there’s not a damned thing I can do about it! I don’t care what Olivier says.”
“Have faith,” she muttered, almost imperceptibly.
“What?” I said, even I heard her perfectly.
“Have faith … in yourself!” she shouted, before stomping off.
***
When the last of the three hundred and forty-three Cherubim had figuratively walked the gangplank, my friends went to work feeding and saddling the bugs. I had to get Urszula to help me with Tigger. That dragonfly just did not want to listen to me.
We were not a good match at all, me and him. If I ever made it back to the bog I might see if Viktor could find me a more malleable insect. And it didn’t have to be a dragonfly. The robber flies seemed pretty dumb but they were low maintenance and much easier to handle.
As I made my way over to where the bugs that were ready were being staged I stumbled across the Hashmal oarsman who we had taken captive. I was surprised to see him, half-expecting him to have been tossed overboard as well. I guess a soul did count for something in this realm.
He was wrapped all snug in a mass of netting and that special stickum that Urszula was famous for generating via her scepter.
“What will become of me?” asked the man.
“Don’t ask me. I just work here,” I said.
“Please. Kill me. Do not give me to the water. I do not wish to drown. I will take any means of death but the drowning.”
“Listen. If they haven’t drowned you already something tells me you have nothing to worry about.”
“But … they drowned all the Cherubim.”
“But you’re not a Cherub, are you?”
Ubaldo came around the side, hefting a saddle on one shoulder.
“Do not speak to the prisoner,” he said as he brushed past.
“Hey. We … we’re not going to drown him are we?”
Ubaldo paused and looked at me flatly.
“Why not?”
“Because he’s … a person.”
“So were the Cherubim before these assholes ripped their souls away.“
Ubaldo continued on bow-ward, without sparing another glance. His hornet was tethered there, ripping its mandibles into a gory meal I had no wish to see.
“You see?” said the Hashmal, his eyes wide and glossy. “He wants to drown me.”
“Is it true, what you did to the Cherubim?”
“They gave themselves to the cause. It is what we do. Sacrifice for the common good. A crusade, if you will. We seek to restore the proper order. It is our calling, we of Penult.”
“Who do you work for?”
“The Lords, of course. The Erelim.”
“And who do they work for?”
“Who do you think?”
“Tell you what,” I said in a whisper. “Just before we go, I’ll cut you mostly free. I’ll leave it so you can undo the rest on your own. It might take some time, but I’ll do enough to make sure you can wiggle out with a little bit of effort.”
“Bless you,” said the Hashmal, who looked a bit stunned by my mercy. “What is your name?”
“James.”
I found Tigger all saddled up and clinging to the side of the oarsman’s cage. Lalibela was hovering directly above the boat’s single mast. Urszula stood atop the cage, cooing at her own dragonfly to coax it down to where she could saddle it. When she saw me approach, her eyes riveted me to the deck.
“You should not be coming with us. Find someplace quiet and concentrate. Make yourself fade. Go back. Do as Olivier says. He is right. Back there you can undo the poison.”
I just shook my head. “I’ve never been able to fade on command. I don’t know how. Fades … just happen. It’s not like coming here. I can’t summon anything by making myself feel bad … or good … or whatever. It’s all random.”
“It is not random,” she said. “It is linked to your desires. how you feel about being here. It has to be.”
“Are you sure about that? Seems pretty random to me. I mean, look at Karla. She’s dying to go back and see her sister. Did she fade? Nope. She’s right over there, getting ready to hop on her robber fly.”
“People do it,” said Urszula. “When there is a need to go … and you need to go back.”
“I’m telling you, I don’t know how.”
I climbed up onto the cage and tried climbing onto Tigger’s saddle, but Tigger was clinging to the side, nearly vertical.
“Um … this is awkward. How do I get on?” I grabbed a loose strap dangling off one of the saddlebags. At least I could make sure he didn’t try and take off without me.
“You should not be accompanying us,” said Urszula. “We have the cracker. Olivier can activate it. We don’t need you.”
“Well, that’s a first. Everybody else seems to think I’m some kind of savior.”
“Please. I am telling you to go back to the mainland. Someplace secure where you can fade in peace. Some mountains preferably, just in case.”
“Are there any mountains in Penult?”
“Not really. They are hills, really. Little bumps. Very pretty, but … not sufficient. The Core is not very strong there. But definitely too strong to free a soul.”
I took a deep breath and gazed out over the glassy sea. There was just a hint of roughness and mist at the horizon that might very well be the headlands of Penult.
“Hell, you know, we’re not that far away. Maybe there’s time. Let’s just do this and get it done. If I fade, I fade. If not … so be it.”
Urszula gave me look that was a little sad and defeated and maybe more than a little angry.
Chapter 62: Raiders
While we waited for Georg and Solomon to finish harnessing their beetles, I paced the deck, anxious to get going. I was pretty much in panic mode over the ricin situation, stressing over my imminent death.
Olivier made my poisoning sound so trivial, that it should be a snap to neutralize the ricin by converting it into something inert and innocuous. (I’m pretty sure he didn’t mean turning it into actual cotton candy. That was just an
example.) But of course, he had also thought that it would be easy for me to reverse engineer a cracker column. Look how that turned out.
I told myself it wasn’t going to be the end of the world if I failed. Well, it maybe it would be the end of one world, but my existence would not cease. There were always other worlds, some of which I knew to be quite decent, and some of which I had yet to see, might actually turn out be even better, maybe even paradisiacal. And even the worst places like Root and the Deeps had redeeming features that made them surprisingly tolerable. This train of thought helped ease my anxiety somewhat.
Here in the Liminality, I knew I could be comfortable. The place was a pretty fair facsimile of life. My senses seemed a little bit off, everything from color, touch and odor just a little more dull, but it was way more vivid and sensual than a dream, and on the plus side that meant way less pain and discomfort. I didn’t really get hungry or tired or itchy or achy the way I did in life. Sure, it would suck big time being shut off from the world of my birth, but I could picture myself hanging out here over the long term. What burned me was that this had been Karla’s plan for me from the start. If simple fate and my own free will had brought to these circumstances I might have been more at peace with them.
And yet another thing kept gnawing at me. If the Friends of Penult wanted to keep me out of the Liminality, why the hell would they go and have me killed in the ‘real’ world? Clearly, they had tried and failed with the keeping me happy strategy. But to take me out in the living world would only serve to ship me over here permanently. Could there be poison of choice be some amped up version of ricin? Something juiced with spell craft, giving it the power to eradicate my soul in every realm, not just the one? Or was the ricin just the first phase of a three part operation? Maybe they had plans to take me out here as well as the Deeps? A triple assassination. The thought was unsettling, to say the least.
In my pacing, I stumbled across the trussed up Hashmal, whom everyone seemed to have forgotten about. Remembering my promise, I went over and hacked away at the mess of twine and stickum entangling him. My sword was so dull now it was nearly useless for cutting. Nevertheless I managed to rip through everything but a few strands that he could probably squirm free within the space of an hour once we were gone.
“Bless you,” whispered the Hashmal, who was looking a bit parched and gaunt. “I will make sure that the Lords hear of your mercy.”
A cheer rose up as Georg and Rhino took to the air. I went aft to rejoin my friends. The cracker column lay flat on the deck. Rhino’s wings created a wash and a racket worthy of a helicopter as he descended gently and gripped the column’s sheath with all six legs. The second beetle, guided by Solomon the Frelsian, then took to the air, hovering over the base of the column. It gripped the webbing and lifted the column off the deck. The beetles made a broad banking turn and thundered off toward the bank of clouds, below which Urszula insisted we would find the island of Penult.
Ubaldo and his hornet were already in the air and patrolling a wide arc around us, scanning our general vicinity for threats. The robber fly riders, Karla and Mikal, were next off the boat, and they hurried ahead to catch up with the beetles. Olivier kept putzing around the deck, opening lockers and bins as if he were searching for something. So far he was finding only ropes and tools and such. I was getting nervous that he might discover what I had done to the Hashmal’s bindings.
“Maybe we should go now?” I called out to him.
“You two go on ahead. I’ll catch up,” said Olivier.
I looked over at Urszula.
“We wait,” she said.
I took a deep breath and bit my lip. Olivier ripped open yet another locker and pulled out a harpoon of the sort that the Pennies fired from launchers to bring down bugs. I thought nothing of it, that maybe he planned to use it as his new scepter. But I was aghast to see him stalk around the cage and plunge the weapon through the Hashmal’s ribs as the poor man tried to plead with him. Olivier just jabbed it in, gave a twist and walked. I was horrified by the coldness of his act and how nonchalant he acted coming back to his fly.
He saw me staring at him, and he stared right back. Unflinching. Unapologetic. I knew he had a grudge against Hashmallim and their overlords that went back to his limbless days in the Deeps, but I never knew it was this bitter. He gave us a nod and we took off.
It took me a while to process what had just happened. I felt terrible that my attempt at mercy had been negated, my promise violated. Maybe someday I’d get to apologize to the Hashmal in whatever realm the souls of Pennies moved on to when they left the Liminality. Was it Heaven? The real deal Heaven? The Deeps was more likely, like the rest of us peons.
Ubaldo and his hornet went whizzing by on their way to the front of the formation. We formed a tight little group now, the beetles well surrounded by six escorts. There was no way this column would not reach the shores of Penult now, and I had to say, the thought of deploying it in the homeland of its makers gave me a little shiver of glee.
***
The darkness that closed around us felt more like a security blanket than something to fear. Hour after hour, we cruised along. A headwind had kicked up to stir the sea below. Moonlight frosted the white caps.
As we cruised along, Tigger kept close to Lalibela’s tail. Dragonflies are diurnal creatures. I wonder how the Dusters got them to fly at night. I guess people train dogs to go against their nature and not chase squirrels. Why not get dragonflies to pretend they were moths?
The beetles seemed to have a much easier time of it now that they were sharing the load. It’s not that the columns were heavy but hauling them through the air created lots of drag. So far Rhino was looking strong and fit.
A strange and unexpected calmness came over me. The storm in my head had finally reached a stable equilibrium. The multifactorial stress that had consumed me earlier had dissipated. Whatever happened, happened. Anything bad stuff be tolerated or overcome. If anything good came of this, it would come as a pleasant surprise.
I leaned forward and rested my chin on the forward hump of the saddle, watching the sea swells rise and fall like the breath of a slumbering dragon.
***
Dawn came quick. Too quick. I must have fallen asleep in the saddle—a disconcerting thought considering that we were flying high and I wasn’t strapped in. I grabbed onto the handholds that fringed the saddle and gripped them tight as a wave of vertigo shuddered through me.
Land was now in sight. The island was much larger than I pictured. Its shores stretched out of sight in both directions. A line of clouds, tinged coral and pink by the rising sun, hovered over the central highlands like a misty halo.
Apart from a rim of pale cliffs buttressing the shore, Penult seemed mostly a bunch of rolling meadows punctuated with a few widely-spaced clumps of trees, sort of like a giant golf course. A lacy network of pale roads and paths stretched over and through every hill and hollow. Apart from these, I saw no evidence of civilization—no cities, towns, not even a solitary structure.
Ubaldo was the first to reach land. Blazing far ahead of us on his glorious wasp, we watched him pass over a broad strand of windswept beaches and some low, chalky cliffs, to the first expanse of meadows beyond, touching down beside a road so smooth it glinted in the morning sun.
Karla and Mikal landed next, followed by the rest of us providing close escort to the beetles, whom Georg and Solomon guided down gently to avoid damaging their precious payload. I hopped down off of Tigger onto the spongy grass, glad to have solid ground beneath me again.
“There is nothing here,” said Ubaldo, scowling as if he were angry to have nothing and no one to fight.
“That’s a good thing,” said Olivier. “Gives us time to pick a good target.”
“There are cities, I assure you,” said Urszula.
“Where we are now, is this not one of the places you scouted?”
“No,” she said. “There were no cliffs where we came ashore. Just m
arshes and lagoons and … a city. A port.”
“Any idea how to get there?”
Urszula shrugged. “It is somewhere on this coast.”
“Obviously.”
“But I cannot tell which direction.”
“Some of us can go and look,” said Mikal. “I volunteer.”
“You go East, Mikal. I will go West,” said Urszula.
“Sounds like a plan,” said Olivier.
Urszula reached down and tightened the cinches of her saddle. She glanced at me over her shoulder. “If we do not come back, do not wait for us.”
“Why wouldn’t you come back?” I said.
“I am just saying.”
“Watch out for those new falcons,” said Olivier. ”Those damned things are nasty quick.”
Urszula returned a wicked smile. “Maybe they should watch out for me.”
Mikal buzzed away on his robber fly. Urszula leaned over, slapped Lalibela’s pronotum and her gleaming dragonfly rocketed off into the sun. The clear membranes spanning the cells of her wings twinkled like diamonds.
Before I could even think to grab a hold of his lead, Tigger zoomed off after them.
***
We unsaddled the bugs that remained, turning them loose to do a little foraging on the beach. I felt a bit nervous about being stranded without Tigger, but Karla offered to let me double up with her if need be. She seemed to enjoy that aspect of my predicament.
When she was preoccupied with stashing gear I went over and discreetly asked Olivier if I could carry the Seraph wings he had just unlashed from the scorpion fly as mine were still attached to Tigger’s saddle. He gave me an odd look, but assented without hesitation.
I bundled them up and tucked them under my arm. They were bulky, but no heavier than an armload of bamboo.
My blunt and blackened sword I slipped under my belt. I wondered why I still bothered to carry it. The thing was heavy and not very useful as a sword anymore. I could do just as well with a stick. But I couldn’t bring myself to toss it just yet. It had sentimental value going back to the tunnels of Root and my first days in the Liminality. At least I didn’t have to worry about cutting myself on the damned thing.
We concealed our tack and supplies in a shrub-congested gully that carried a rushing freshet down to the cliffs. The water was cool and sweet—a welcome change to the stale lagoon water we carried in our skins.