“BUT I DON’T WANT ME AND MY KID TO HAVE TO LIVE WITH MY MOM AND MY SECOND STEPDAD.”
Unless you can afford to live on your own and pay your own bills, you may have no other choice.
“WELL. IF THAT’S THE ONLY WAY. I GUESS I’LL JUST HAVE TO GET MOM AND JEFFREY TO GO IN AND GET THE BENEFITS FOR ME.”
TANF guidelines say that if you receive assistance, YOU must work at least thirty hours per week, or no later than two years after coming on assistance. If you fail to follow those guidelines, the government will reduce or eliminate your benefits.
“THAT’S NOT FAIR. MY MOM USED TO BE ON WELFARE BEFORE SHE MARRIED JEFFREY AND HER PARENTS WERE ON IT, TOO.”
And so were thousands of others, but no more! Welfare as your mom knew it doesn’t exist today. TANF has taken its place and it is not an entitlement program, meaning people no longer have a right to “get something for nothing.”
“THAT’S SCARY. WHAT IF MY MOM WON’T…WHATEVER.”
Actually, people should be happy about the government’s new Temporary Assistance for Needy Families Program. It sounds complicated but it’s really simple and in the long run very helpful.
1. You (anyone) can apply for assistance.
2. You’ll have a two-hour session with a case manager and together you’ll work up a plan, including:
a. short-term goals to get your GED if possible
b. work training to teach you job skills
c. a job, and possibly some subsidized child care
“IN THE MEANTIME, WHO IS GOING TO PAY FOR THE BABY’S FORMULA AND DIAPERS AND STUFF?”
YOU are going to be responsible for yourself and your child, hopefully with some parental help. You might be eligible for three hundred forty-three dollars per month for both you and your baby on this program but that would require you to go to school and work for a grant. That means hard work, commitment, and growing up fast with more responsibilities than you’ve ever dreamed of. Also, you (anyone) are allowed only five years out of your entire lifetime on this program, unlike THE OLD WELFARE PROGRAM WHEN SOME FAMILIES WERE ON IT FOR GENERATIONS.
Statistics
Out-of-wedlock births more than doubled between 1986 and 1996, and this has changed very little since. Birth rates are now declining, including birth rates for unmarried teenagers (which may be due to increased awareness and improved use of contraception). However, the U.S. teenage birth rate is the highest in the developed world.
The national average of out-of-wedlock births is thirty-four percent (more than one third of all births). The highest rate is in Washington, D.C., where sixty-seven percent of births are out of wedlock. Mississippi, Louisiana, and New Mexico have forty-five percent. Only Utah, Texas, and Idaho rate under twenty percent.
• Sixty percent of teen pregnancies occur during the first six months of sexual activity.
• Among teens unmarried at the time of childbirth more than seventy-five percent go on welfare within five years.
• The divorce rate is greater for couples with a premarital pregnancy than for those who conceive after marriage.
• Teens are more likely than older women to delay abortions until the second three months of pregnancy, when health risks associated with an abortion increase significantly.
• More than eighty percent of pregnant teens are unmarried. The younger the girl, the higher the percentage.
• Sixty percent of teenage mothers give birth to babies fathered by men age twenty or older.
• The younger the girl, the greater the age difference.
• In the United States, unwed mothers give birth to approximately 1,240,000 (one million, two hundred forty thousand) children each year. Approximately three percent of these children are placed for adoption while ninety-seven percent are kept by the single mother.
• Time and studies have shown that adoption, difficult though it may be for the young mother, often affords a child a greater opportunity to live a life of security and happiness.
Most young unwed mothers do not know that one-sixth of married couples in the United States experience infertility and rely on adoption to receive a baby. Ten to twelve percent of couples are eventually able to adopt a child.
• Unwed mothers who keep their children are more likely to remain unmarried and to have children who experience pregnancy out of wedlock.
• Children raised by unwed parents are more often abused, are two to three times as likely to have serious emotional and behavior problems, and are more likely to drop out of high school and to be in trouble with the law.
Violence
One in eight girls will experience abuse in a relationship during high school. It can be obvious—shoving, slapping, punching, or:
threats or verbal abuse
forcing a girl to go farther sexually than she wants to
demeaning remarks, which lower self-identity
controlling actions that restrict a girl’s free agency
IF ANY GIRL IS BEING ABUSED, SHE SHOULD NOT IGNORE IT OR SUFFER QUIETLY. SHE SHOULD GET HELP! IT IS AS CLOSE AS HER TELEPHONE. CALL A CRISIS LINE, RAPE CENTER, OR SCHOOL COUNSELOR; TALK TO AN ADULT WHO IS KNOWLEDGEABLE AND TRUSTWORTHY. “EVERYBODY ISN’T DOING IT!”
Crisis and Information Hotline numbers
1–800 means they are free of cost.
WHERE TO CALL FOR ABUSE, ASSAULT, OR RAPE INFORMATION:
Call your local RAPE CRISIS LINE or your local CRISIS LINE; they will be listed in the phone book and will answer your questions and get help for you. If your town is so small it does not have a crisis line listed, call 1-800-656-HOPE (4673), or the police. If you call the HOPE LINE, no matter where you live, they will route your call to a local help line! You can also call the Sexual Assault Crisis Line at 1-800-643-6250.
WHERE TO CALL FOR PREGNANCY INFORMATION:
Call your local CRISIS LINE, 1-800-230-PLAN (7526), Planned Parenthood, or the Pregnancy Risk Hotline for BABY YOUR BABY at 1-800-822-2229, and the Emergency Contraception Hotline at 1-800-584-9911. The National Hotline for Pregnant Women can be reached at 1-800-311-BABY.
WHERE TO CALL FOR SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASE INFORMATION:
Call your local CRISIS LINE or 1-800-227-8922. They will answer all your questions and/or refer you to free or low-cost clinics in your area.
Either of the numbers will tell you where you can get health examinations, pregnancy testing, counseling, infection treatments, and other information.
For information about AIDS and HIV, call the national AIDS Hotline at 1-800-342-2437. ASK A NURSE at 1-800-535-111 has information for teens and adults about health matters.
WHERE TO CALL FOR INFORMATION RELATED TO SUICIDAL FEELINGS:
Your local CRISIS LINE, 1-800-230-7526, 1-800-822-2229, or 911. Talk to someone who is knowledgeable about the subject. They can dilute your stress and fears as well as help you find answers and solutions to your problems. There is a way out! You just need someone to help you find it!
What about talking to your parents, a school counselor or a church leader? They are all there to help you.
Abstinence
The United States government, Bureau of Maternal and Child Health, is in the process of funding an abstinence outreach program to every state in the union. The grants will be administered by each state through its individual health department.
Material Sources:
Center for Disease Control (CDC)
March of Dimes
Baby Think It Over
Baby Net
Alan Guttmacher Institute
Planned Parenthood
ERIC/CAPS Fact Sheet
Social Services
Family Health Service National
Thanks to all of the above; also, “Annie,” her mother, her friends, her teachers, Linda Gustin from our local Social Services office, my husband and family who are so patient about my writing, and you, the reader. You are a part of my life as I hope ANNIE will be a part of yours.
Read on for a preview of the upco
ming book FINDING KATIE: The Diary of Anonymous, A Teenager in Foster Care Edited by Beatrice Sparks, Ph.D.
Friday, January 2nd
By the time I got to the bottom step Mama was barely whimpering and I could hear that Daddy was still pounding on her. I slowly cracked Mama’s bedroom door open and peeked in. Mama was lying quietly on the floor, curled in a tight little ball. A big wave of pain almost washed me away into nothingness. I wanted to help Mama but I didn’t dare, I knew what Daddy might do then!
I scrambled down the last step, hid in a dark corner trying not to breathe, and stayed there until I heard him zooming down the driveway, smashing into our big metal security gate on the way out.
Almost blinded by tears and fears, I crept in beside Mama and patted her cheek, below her swollen eye. “It’s okay Mama,” I whispered, “he’s gone.”
I put my pillow over my head. Her cries weren’t like any human sounds I’d ever heard before, more like…animal sounds…or…scary movie evil wailings.
I feel like I’m lost! Lost in my own home! Lost in my own body! But mostly lost in my own mind. Will the really, truly me ever, ever BE FOUND?
About the Editor
Beatrice Sparks prepared the bestseller GO ASK ALICE for publication, as well as IT HAPPENED TO NANCY and others. She has been working as a professional counselor with “hurting” kids for many years and has conducted therapy groups and special seminars around the country. She loves, respects, and listens to kids, and they in return “love, trust, and feel safe” with her.
Beatrice Sparks holds a Doctorate of Philosophy in Human Behavior. Her books have won the Christopher Medal and been named School Library Journal Best Books, as well as Notable Books and Quick Picks for Recommended Reading by the American Library Association. She has also been a National Book Awards Judge for Young People’s Literature.
Visit www.AuthorTracker.com for exclusive information on your favorite HarperCollins author.
Other books edited by
BEATRICE SPARKS, PH.D.
KIM: EMPTY INSIDE
TREACHEROUS LOVE
ALMOST LOST
IT HAPPENED TO NANCY
Copyright
ANNIE’S BABY. Copyright © 1998 by Beatrice Sparks, Ph.D. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 98-92413
Revised Avon edition, 2005
EPub Edition © April 2010 ISBN: 978-0-06-201266-1
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Beatrice Sparks, Annie's Baby: The Diary of Anonymous, a Pregnant Teenager
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