Chapter 7: The saviour.
The day Rikki left the book-store.
I feel extraordinary. I have my purpose in life, thus I live. I am not driven by stupidity. I am not driven by money. I believe that my reward is within fulfilling my purpose in life. What would life be without purpose? Would it have meaning? To reproduce, then die? That is not a life for a human being. If I say there is a god, then my life will be shaped around god. If I say there is no god, what would the shape of my life be? If everyone says there is god, then the shape of life will take a form of godliness. Then will not the shape where everyone says there is no god be dangerous? Of course it would. Everyone will be free. It is not about the freedom of speech, it is not about economic freedom. It is the freedom that will allow anyone, destructive or not, to say what they please. The freedom that will allow anyone to attain their goals by any means necessary. A terrible freedom. A freedom which- a freedom from purpose. There has to be order. There has to be rank. There has to be a god. An absolute God. That would be-
“Hello handsome.” A middle-aged prostitute interrupted his thoughts. She was wearing the usual blue eye shadow, the usual bright glossy red lipstick, long blonde hair over her shoulders, black latex bra and a short latex skirt and black shiny high-heels.
“Hello,” Lysei replied noncommittally and continued with his walk.
“Ah come on,” she protested as Lysei walked on. “Half-price since you are handsome,” she added loudly when Lysei was a few meters away.
I love myself too much, he thought.
The orphanage where he stayed came into view and he quickened his pace. He was hungry and dinner was served at seven o’clock. It was not that he would miss out on the food but rather he enjoyed eating around the table with Ben, the warden and all the others. Being there with them made him happy. Sometimes he thought of how it would be with Monica there, too. If only.
The sun had completely set by the time he arrived and he found Ben sitting on the porch with a beer can in his hand when he arrived.
“Uncle Benny, hello,” he said.
“Hello Lys,” he had stopped calling him son after Lysei had turned eighteen. “How was the book-store today?”
“Same as usual- not much work to do,” Lysei said and sat down next to Ben on the porch step.
“You getting along with what’s-her-name?”
“Monica, yes. She is alright.”
“She seems like a nice girl. Like you, not like the others. She’d do you good.”
“Yes she would.” He was not ashamed of talking about Monica in this way with Ben.
“And you make me a grandfather huh. That would be nice, little Lyseis running around here.”
He took a sip of his beer. “I’m growing old, never had kids of my own. No that was wrong. I had you guys but then…“
“It’s not the same, I know,” Lysei finished for him.
A stillness ensued between them. The wind was blowing warmly and the branches and the leaves danced gracefully in the direction the wind was blowing. The sky was clear but the glare from the porch light made it impossible to see the stars. Sound came out from the door; the sound of plates and utensils being set on a table, the sound of shuffling feet as dinner was prepared, the sound of babies crying accompanied by foster parents trying to quiet them down, the sound of older children laughing accompanied by abhorrent slurs from the foster parents trying to keep order and then the bell that told that dinner was ready.
“It’s the same Lysei but all I want is some grand-children from you. Now let’s go on to eat.” He took a large gulp from the beer can and then went inside, disposing of it in the bin next to the door. Lysei followed him.
Ben has taken care of many children. But I don’t believe any of them has had the genuine father-son bond as he and I. No wonder he wants grandchildren from me.
“Lysei be a darling and say grace,” the orphanage nurse who was also in charge of the girls said.
Okay.
“Dear Lord, most gracious and most high, thank you for the food that we are about to eat. In the name of Jesus Christ, blessed be his name, Amen.”
And everyone followed by saying Amen.
This is the shape I mean, he said remembering his earlier thought.
Children below the age of thirteen years went to sleep at exactly nine o’clock, except on holidays while the rest could stay up to eleven o’clock. Lysei went to his room at nine o’clock. He did not sleep but laid down on his bed in the dark thinking. His room was on the ground floor and the porch light came in through his window, casting a shadow of a bed with a man lying on it on the opposite wall.
I feel like something big is about to happen. Something revolutionary. To change the world. Does everyone feel this way or is it just me in the eleven billion people on this planet? This feeling…contains my purpose in life. Would I kill to fulfil my purpose? It is my purpose and anyone who is against my purpose should be killed. Tolerance is a root of evil. Devise a plan to kill. Should we kill for- I mean to maintain the proper shape of life? Yes. It is a culling and culling is good. If there is no culling, then the good die with the rotten. I have seen it with animals. Would you force people to take the proper shape of life? I would convince them for their own good. Convince, don’t force. And those who cannot be convinced? Devise a plan to kill. To die for good is for your own goodness. The children. Convince the children, that is what the music and movie industries are targeting, the young minds. Monica, if only I could tell her that I love her. I will. Tomorrow, I’ll tell her how much I love her. Yes, we were both born from a shape that understood love. Yes. Values such as integrity, honour and loyalty. But wait- how are you born from a shape? Like from under a specific cloud? I like where this is going. I’ll write a book. Are feelings derived? No, they are given. Then thoughts are then also given.
The shape gives you thoughts. The momentum gives you thoughts. The momentum makes you live. How does it give you thoughts? By making you who you are? By creating you. Then, my goodness, it creates, it gives, it is alive. Breathe. Breathe. You are not alone. What thoughts? If you are under a constructive cloud, then you will be given constructive thoughts. The opposite for a destructive momentum. My goodness. Life is beautiful. If thoughts are given, are actions given too? Yes because thought comes before action. Then your acts are acts of the momentum and the momentum is god and so the acts are acts of god. My goodness. If you live with the momentum, will it protect you? Make sure you never suffer? Have peace and no struggle? Well, it depends on the momentum you create. Huh, you create it and then it creates you. Life is beautiful. Take that atheists. How many in the world right now, know of this? I have to write a book. God help me. And the dreams too, the momentum gives you dreams.
He had fallen asleep after deriving the possibility of the momentum being alive, from then, he was dreaming.
“Lysei,” The Voice said in his dream.
“I know it is you, I fear saying your name”
“It is I. The force, the goodness, the Universe- Allah, God, The sum of the Greek Gods. Refer to me as I Am.”
“I Am.”
“Yes Lysei. You have the answer,” I Am said.
“I Am, is it true?”
“The beauty of life you have. None have before discovered it the same way as you. And only a few have had the answer.”
“Heaven.”
“Heaven and paradise. There is a distinction. You have the key to paradise. A key to utopia. You hold the first brick of a building, Lysei.”
“I need your help.”
“Do not be stupid. You would never have derived the answer without my help. You have been under my cloud your whole life.”
Lysei paused and considered the impact this would have on him from now on. He also thought of his past, his ever present sense of security. Him the orphan, who had never needed anything. He thought about everyone closest to him and then he thought of his parents.
“You killed my parents?” Lysei asked confusedly.
 
; “You are mine and always will be mine. You have a purpose.”
“You killed my parents!” Lysei shouted angrily.
“For the greater good. But I did not kill them since they were not under me.”
“You killed my parents. My parents!” He shouted at I Am again.
“They were not under the same cloud as you Lysei. They would’ve only distracted you. Do not be distressed, I am your Father. You have the key to building a momentum were children don’t lose their parents don’t you? You can choose to die, killing everyone else or you could choose to be King.”
“Be King?”
“Well, who else is more suitable to be king?”
Lysei kept quiet. The Voice was speaking through the clouds from somewhere deep in the sky. It as noon o’clock, the sun right above him and the green grass field which seemed to extend forever in any direction he looked, and high up further from the sun on the left of the direction his body was fronting, a rainbow shown, sparkling and bright next to the sun. An eagle flew beneath the sun, the sound of its call seeming to come from everywhere and casting a large eagle shadow shielding Lysei, momentarily from the sun.
“Lysei, you represent my momentum in human form,” I Am said proudly.
“Jesus Christ,” Lysei said overwhelmed by the news.
“Not quite. Jesus was suitable only then. Now you are here. And you will be suitable until you are no longer needed. But you won’t die Just remember to Keep well.”
“I shall keep best,” he said.
“One more thing before you wake up. The secret to beauty and attractiveness is Order, Efficiency and Convenience.”
Lysei did not reply.
“You don’t understand.” It was not a question. “Set times for eating, for drinking water, for exercise and for sleeping – that is order and it will generalise throughout your body and you will be beautiful. I have keepers and they gave the living badness sex and now, you will be attractive- most attractive in the world- and you will control sex orderly, for your own sake anyway. Now wake up, Lysei, you have been activated,” I Am concluded.
And he woke up.
Epilogue: The Keepers.
“Should we close up shop? Regards on the orphan, it worked, well, basically as you had intended.”
“And do what, become like them?” The First asked. “No. We do our job. We study what the momentum wants and we do our job. I Am would have killed us already if he had no use for us. Don’t panic,” he said to comfort the keeper, but really within him, he was panicking too. He was uncertain but he thought that perhaps that was what I Am wanted, for the keepers to not know all but only that which is allowed by Him. After all, I Am is alive and I Am should have secrets. For the greater good.
“Okay, so we study now. And then help. We are not keepers of the momentum anymore,” The First continued. “We are merely just helpers of I Am. Disposable at any moment.”
“You will get used to your demotion,” The First-rank-opp said jokingly. “After all, if you are demoted, what am I? And what are the rest of us? But remember, you are, in a way, the one who was given the thought about the orphan. The momentum used you, and rest assured, you still being fit, will use you again.”
“I hope so,” the only thing The First could say.
The end.
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