He said, ‘I know you dont have too much balls but if you cud jus suck your thum qwyet for a wyl and stop giving me inner fearents I cud tune in better.’
I said, ‘I had balls a nuff to get you out of that hoal when you neadit me tho dint I.’
He said, ‘Yes you did after I pult the dog and the dog pult you. Hadnt he come for you youwd parbly stil be shovveling cow shit or what ever you done at that form.’
I said, ‘Cow shit with them or bul shit with you there aint much in it is there.’ What hed said it realy hert me tho. Here I ben thinking how wel I done going over that fents and oansome amongst them dogs and he wer trying to make it be nothing. I said, ‘Any how whatve you done whats so ballsy?’
He put his han on my sholder I fealt like when he took it a way itwd leave a wite shadder behynt. He said, ‘I know I soun like Im trying to littl you down but that aint what Im doing Im trying to bring on that seed of the red in you Im trying to strong it on Im trying to rise your hump. Dyou lissen me? Im trying to get you to be your oan black dog and your oan Ardship.’
I said, ‘Why?’
He said, ‘Becaws you wont all ways have me wil you.’
I said, ‘Why not?’
He said, ‘Becaws thats how itwl be nor les not mouf it roun no mor jus keap that in you. Be your oan black dog and your oan Ardship.’
We gone a head on the qwyet slow and easy nor no lert from the dogs no soun only the hisper of the rain. We wer farther in nor ever I ben when I ben littl we kep on thru hewy rubbl til we come in unner some thing and out of the rain. Cudnt see nothing at all in there. Gone a littl farther and come to big steps going down and warm air coming up. I said to Lissener, ‘You cern you aint ben here befor?’ Becaws he wer moving like a dog on hot foller.
He said, ‘No but weare coming strong on some thing. Be ready to move qwick.’
He neadntve tol me that I wer ready for any thing and wivvering all over with it. That place wer a Power place you cud feal it all roun you. Smel the Power even with the dog pong. Breave it in to your arms and legs. I cud feal a terning and a rushing in it so strong and Lissener the same. Lissening to our foot steps eckoing in that ringing dark.
We seen a feabl shaky glimmer like from a far off candl it wer jus a nuff so we cud see the edges of the steps. Slow and easy slow and easy. From there on it wer only the black leader and his 2 nexters with us the others ternt roun I gest they wer poasting ther selfs back at the top of the steps I fealt sorry for any body coming that way on our foller. Wunnering at the same time why the dogs hadnt give us warning of no lookouts yet. Lissener said, ‘The out poasts dont keap sharp they dont think no Is ever coming in on them.’
From there on it wer mosly cavit in rubbl we had to sqweaze thru then it opent up big you cudve lissent the diffrents even without looking. The lite wer coming from behynt some girt mouns of rubbl unner where the over head ben barmt out. It cudntve ben no moren a cuppl of candls or lanterns jus a feabl glimmer and the jynt shadders wivvering on the stanning walls and broakin stoans and rubbl and what ever over head wer lef. The jynt shadders wer from girt machines o they wer guvner big things and crouching all broakin but not dead they cudnt dy there wer too much Power in them. Where we wer stanning you cud hear the sea beyont us in the dark. Breaving and sying breaving and sying it wer like them machines wer breaving and sying in ther sleap.
Lissener hispert me, ‘What is it? Be they terning be they moving?’
I hispert back, ‘Its broakin machines they aint moving.’ It wernt nothing like when you dig up old rottin machines out of the groun these wer in ther parper working place nor nothing rottin they wer some kynd of iron dint rot it wer all shyning all catching that shaky glimmer. Some of them ther shels ben broak open you cud see girt shyning weals like jynt mil stoans only smoov. Id all ways usit the word shyning same as any 1 else myt. The sun is shyning or the moon is shyning. Youwl see a shyning on the water or a womans hair. When you talk of the Littl Shyning Man its jus the middl word of what hes callt there aint no real meaning to it. Suddn when I seen the shyning of them broakin machines I begun to get some idear of the shyning of the Littl Man. Tears begun streaming down my face and my froat akit.
Lissener hispert, ‘Whats the matter?’
I hispert back, ‘O what we ben! And what we come to!’ Boath of us wer sniffling and snuffling then. Me looking at them jynt machines and him lissening ther sylents. Right then I dint know where I wer with any thing becaws all on a suddn I wernt seeing any thing from where I seen it befor. Up to then I ben agenst Goodparley and I ben agenst what ever he wer for. I dint like him for his littl eyes and his big sqware teef nor I dint like all that Eusas head rubbish nor the res of it. The way he talkit of putting the Littl Shyning Man to gether and that. Now all on a suddn Eusa and Eusas head and the Littl Shyning Man be come some thing woaly diffrent in my mynd to what they ben befor. How cud any 1 not want to get that shyning Power back from time back way back? How cud any 1 not want to be like them what had boats in the air and picters on the wind? How cud any 1 not want to see them shyning weals terning?
All what Ive wrote jus now gone thru my head in a flash that nite and wylst thinking it I wer scanning sharp and lissening hard. Stil dint see no 1 nor nothing moving only them jynt shadders shaking and me shaking with them. Not from fear it wer as citement. Some peopl can feal ther mooning in them some cant. The moon of ther bearthing I mean. Parbly the moon of ther getting and all. Which I know I can. Some times Iwl feal the cross over in my sleap and it takes me strange. I ben got in the las thin sickel of the failing moon and I ben beartht in the Ful. When Im in my ful bearthing moon Im wide on and sharp strung. When Im coming off it to my getting moon Im reaching on and hungering for that nex Ful. That nite in that Power place in Fork Stoan I cud feal that hungry moon what I cudnt see. Feal it thin. Feal it craving. Feal the tide making for the hy I dint have to see it I knowit wer hy water coming on. Feal it neap and craving for its big hy in the nex Ful. I hispert to Lissener, ‘O yes we done right to foller the circel here its fulling on so strong.’
He dint say nothing I sust how it wer with him some times when we wer boath lissening hy 1 of us wud starve the other like when 1 boat puts a nother in its wind shadder. Becaws I begun to know by then I wer some kynd of lissener as wel. Being with Lissener brung it out and brung it on. I wunnert how I ever cudve fealt real up to then. How I ever cudve fealt a live befor I begun to take things in like I wer now. I wantit to move I wantit to do I wantit to happen with what ever wer happening roun me. Like it says in Eusa 5: ‘Evere thing blippin & bleapin & movin in the shiftin uv thay Nos. Sum tyms by tin sum tyms bit.’
Thinking on from there. Eusa 6: ‘Cum tu the wud in the hart uv the stoan.’ I knowit I wer there in a way. Right then I wer in the wud in the hart of the stoan. Or the stoan in the hart of the wud it dont make no odds. Youre all ways there only you dont all ways know it.
We movit roun easy for a scan behynt the rubbl where the lite wer coming from. There wer a shelter it lookit to be about a 6 peopl 1 it wer the userel thing baskit and gunge with a thatch roof. Them as bilt it theyd movit rubbl so they cud put the shelter unner the hoal in the over head where it wer open to the sky. Big big that Power place wer you cudve stood 10 men 1 on top of the other nor they wuntve reacht the over head.
The black leader wer looking the same way I wer. I movit my head and han a littl like you wud out foraging and giving some 1 the syn to move up closer. That dogd all ready be come so much like regler crowd I jus done it without thinking. No soonerd I give the syn nor off he gone like we ben foraging to gether our woal lives. Big and hevvy as he wer he dint make no soun he jus slyd like a shadder getting longer til he come to the shelter then he easit to the doar way and lookit in. He lookit back tords Lissener and me with his ears up and waving his tail then he startit on beyont and looking back agen showing all clear as plain as any 1 cud.
Lissener and me follert on then and the 2 nexter dogs with us. I lookit in to the shelter with a arrer on the string. 3
pairs of up and down sleapers 2 benches a tabel with 3 candls lit and a fire place with the fire going. Pots and gear but no weapons in site. I had to smyl at the candls I knowit them Fork Stoan hevvys wer afeart of coming back in to that big place in the dark. I wudve took a doss bag only I dint want to leave no foller.
Follering the black leader we gone down some steps in to a tunnel and you cud hear the sea stronger. We come out in to the open nite and the littl girzel on our faces agen the sea wer beating loud on the stoans it wer hy water right a nuff. Where we come out then it wer some where a long the snug I think it wer jus inshoar of the lite house stump.
Lissener and me wer boath on the lissen and boath waiting for some thing we dint know what. Working our way a long the shoar then tords Do It Over we seen a fire and figgers black agenst it. 1st look I got I cudnt be cern how many it wer but I gest it wer all 6 Fork Stoan hevvys parbly changing the look out.
Looking beyont the fire and the figgers looking in to the dark a long the shoar then looking out to the sea dark and Lissener hispert to me, ‘The littl come big took by the far come close.’
I fealt like putting my 2 hans roun his froat and sqweazing hard. I hist back at him, ‘Why in the worl did you have to say that? Whatre you trying to put on me?’
He hispert, Trubba not I wernt saying it to you I dint even know I said it out loud it wer jus some thing come in to my head.’
We workit up on to the top of the clif behynt the hevvys til we wer over where they wer. They had ther fire about ½ way down on some kynd of stanning. Looking over the edge I cud see the woal 6 of them. We kep back out of the fire lite then and we lissent a littl.
Mosly they wernt talking they wer passing a flask roun. Which what they did say mos of it got los in the soun of the sea beating on the stoans. We did hear a littl of it tho. 1 of them said, ‘. . . Goodparleys boy and ben throwt over. He cud wel be ...’
A nother 1 said, ‘. . .do any how?’
The 1st 1 said, ‘His dad ben 1 Stoan Phist bint he. Iwl give odds there ben knowing ... Iwl give odds that littl witey bloakwl go ...’
Lissener pult me back he hist, ‘Come on theres some thing else here les get to it befor some 1 else does.’
I hist, ‘What is it?’
He hist, ‘I dont know til we get to it.’ He wunt even hoi back 1 minim so off we gone a long the clifs tords Do It Over.
We come to where the clifsve fel in to the sea time back way back its broakin groun there all a jumbl we use to go there our crowd of kids when I ben littl. That place stil had its old name from way way back it wer callit The Warnings. Coming on to it I thot: Here!
The sea wer stil chopping and beating on the stoans but there come a nother soun it wer that holler bonking soun of a boat knocking on stoan. Looking hard I cud make out the shape of it black agenst the foam. Lissener said, ‘There!’
Stanning on The Warnings looking at that boat out of the dark! Never ben befor. Never be agen.
O that water wer col. I pult the boat on to the stoans it wer ½ ful of water and hevvy. Sail dragging in the water the marsed bustit itd come down on the bloak what ben sailing the boat he wer stil unner it dead with his head smasht in. Musve happent in the storm parbly he ben blowt Souf of Fork Stoan then with the tide terning he ben drifting back the other way a long the shoar tords Do It Over.
That dead bloak wer from other side dark as it wer I cud tel by his boots. What ben he doing out there any how? Cawt in the storm parbly and nitefel on the water. Ben he stearing for that fire on the clifs when the marse come down on his head?
Nothing in the boat only oars and a bayling skoop. Hooker roap and hook. Bow and arrers and spears. The bloak had a knife on him he had some roady and some drowndit bread in 1 pockit. In a nother pockit he had flint and striker and makings and a candl stub. About a ¼ cut of hash and some rizlas. Plus a bag of littl stoans all wet and crummly. Not hard at all you cud break them with > our thum nail. There wernt nothing else on the bloak nor nothing else in the boat I got my self good and wet looking every where I even lookit inside the drobber case. It wer only a littl open boat there wernt that many hidey places.
Lissener took that littl bag of littl crummly stoans in his hans he said, This is what I ben lissening. Hoi it in your hans and you can feal it in them stoans and scrabbling to get out you can hear it hispering to its self and clacking like a skelter of crabs.’
I said, ‘What is it?’
He said, ‘I tol you I dont know nothing only when we gether but I know theres Power in it. And where theres Power theres foller. We bes not ful this circel on no farther we bes get in to Cambry qwicks we can with this here bag of stoans Im going to gether deap Im going to work that Power.’
I had that bag in my han I begun to feal like it wer liting up the dark like a torch and bleaping follerme all over Inland. Suddn I wantit the nite to get darker I wantit dark a nuff to smuvver it qwyet. I thot a littl on our suching waytion and I done what I cud to dark it down a littl. We roalt mos of the water out of the boat so I cud row it then we put the bloak and every thing else back in it only kep out what ben in his pockits and the bow and arrers for Lissener plus I cut off a good lenth of sail roap it wer boun to be neadful some time. Then I got in and pult out to where it wer deap a nuff even at low water. I tyd the hooker roap short roun the dead bloaks leg then over the side I droppt the hooker and him boath. Thinking wylst I done it: That Powers working me all ready nor I dont even know what it is.
Pult back tords shoar and when I come to where some big rocks wer sticking out in to the water I clum out on to them and ternt the boat over and lef it floating up side down and driffing how it wud.
Then we vackt our wayt out of there and roading for Cambry.
13
Heading for senter then. I never ben to Cambry befor but I knowit wer a bit farther from Fork Stoan to there nor it wer from Bernt Arse to Fork Stoan. I reckont we had dark a nuff to las our road out if we kep on steady.
Out thru the Norf part of Fork Stoan outers we gone and Norfing on the A260 track by the Frogs Legs. Going thru the outers the 2 nexter dogs forkt off to the lef and by the time we come to Stickit Flats they wer back and the others with them we had the woal pack with us agen. I kep wunnering how long wewd have them I knowit they ben long pas ther markings and far off ther groun.
Peopl talk about the Cambry Pul theywl say any part of Inland you myt be in youwl feal that pul to Cambry in the senter. May be its jus in the air or may be where the Power Ring ben theres stil Power in the groun. You tern your self that way and it comes on so strong you cud beam your self in with your eyes closd. Or with no eyes thats how Lissener gone. He dint go slow and easy like a blyn man on strange groun which that wer about the only kynd of groun there wer for him he hadnt never ben no where in his woal life only 1 hoal to a nother from Cambry roun the circel 9wys to Fork Stoan. No he dint go slow nor easy. He stayd with that black dog some times with a han on his neck some times not he leggit so fas I cudnt hardly keap up with him. Hewd stummel and fall in to hoals hewd go arse over head down suddn drops it dint matter nothing to him. It wer like he had a winch inside him with a roap going right the way to Cambry and him winching his self in. All ways lissening and out of him there come a farring voyce with no soun going a head in to the dark.
I said to Lissener, ‘Howre we going to work it so you can gether with them Eusa folk in Cambry? Have you got that progammit?’
He said, ‘Not yet.’
I said, ‘With the woal 44 of them to gard therewl be moren 6 hewys wont there?’
He said, Theres all ways 12 in Cambry plus theyve put on a exter 6.’
I said, ‘Be them Eusa folk all in 1 hoal to gether?’
He said, ‘Yes.’
I said, ‘Wel we bes progam some thing hadnt we?’
He said, ‘There you go agen getting in front of your self. We dint progam nothing in Fork Stoan and we come out of that all right dint we?’
So I dint bother him no mor about progamming nothing. I said, ‘How
dyou do that kynd of gethering what youre going to do? Do you all set down and pul datter or dyou jus think to gether or what?’
He said, ‘We do some poasyum.’
I said, ‘Whats poasyum?’
He said, ‘It aint jus poasyum you all ways say some poasyum. You ever seen a nes of snakes?’
I said, ‘Yes.’
He said, ‘I never but 1 of the hewys tol me they do the same theywl get all in a tangl slyding and sqwirming and ryving to gether. Which is how we do it all the many rubbing up to 1 a nother skin to skin and talking vantsit theary. Which is a kynd of hy telling and trantsing. Thats when the singing and the shouting come the many cools of Addom and the party cools of stoan. The strong and the weak inner acting and what happent in the cloudit chaymber.’
I said, ‘Is that where the seed of the red and the seed of the black come in to it?’
He said, ‘Yes howd you know that?’
I said, ‘When you ben having your fit you ben talking vantsit theary. If you cud do it then and you can do it now may be you dont even nead to gether may be you can get them Nos. oansome.’
He said, ‘No when I talk in a fit or what Im saying now that dont mean nothing thats jus only the outers of it. It never comes the woal thing realy without the all of us gethering. Weare jus like scattert peaces of a broakin pot them peaces wont hoi water without theyre gethert nexy and glewt ferm in the shape of holding dont you see. I cant make the shape of holding oansome.’
I said, ‘What is that fit you get is it some thing coming in to you and you going out of your self?’
He said, ‘Im mosly out of my self Im mosly elser lissening like I do. Thats what brings on the fit some times Iwl lissen some thing in too strong then the vy brations of it move in on my emty space and I have to sturgl back to my connexion.’
I dont know for cern what put it in my mynd then may be it wer the word connexion or him talking of scattert peaces but suddn it come to me we wer like Eusas 2 boys we wer going to have to go 2 diffrent ways some time I dint know why nor how nor when but it fult me sad it come like a weaping inside me. In the dark beside me Lissener begun to cry.