Chapter twenty-two
Divisi
“So what was up with that lip-lock? I thought you had your eye on Percy?” Lupe asked when she got back from Winter Break in Japan and as soon as the dorm door was locked.
“I do! He just surprised me. My brain wouldn’t work until after he said goodbye. It was weird and now I’m more confused than ever. Lupe! I don’t know what to do! Life is so much simpler when everyone is just a friend,” Kalli exclaimed throwing herself onto the bed. “And of course I’m sure Percy is perfectly fine because he thinks we’re just friends!”
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that. You didn’t see his face when he saw the two of you. He almost looked like he was going to be sick all the way home.”
Kalli hummed. “I didn’t notice.”
“You were a tad distracted,” Lupe shrugged.
“Really? I had no idea!” Kalli rolled her eyes sarcastically. She hated when people pointed out the obvious when she was upset.
“Now, now young lady. Don’t you go getting snippety with me. I didn’t get you into this mess of the heart, you did. You only have yourself to blame.”
“But Dragen…”
“Didn’t get you into this. He might have made the move but you let him continue. You could have pushed him away but you chose not to. You made that choice. Now you need to deal with the consequences. You need to talk to Percy and explain what happened.”
“Only problem with that is: I don’t know what happened! It just did! Why did Dragen have to do this? I wasn’t ready for that! And could I really push him away? I mean, he’s leaving the country for goodness sake! I don’t know when, or if, I will ever see him again!” she couldn’t sit still. She paced around the room like a horse around a running pole.
“What do you mean by that?” Lupe asked, suddenly alarmed.
“His kiss, it felt like his last goodbye to me. I can’t really explain it. There was just a feeling I would never see him again. Like he was marching into an unwinnable battle,” his kiss was desperate. A last moment of happiness.
“Really?” Lupe asked, deep in thought. “I wonder if he was lying, I wonder if he doesn’t really plan on coming back at all.”
“What do you mean ‘plan on coming back’? He’s just going to the funeral, right?” Kalli was starting to get angry, she felt betrayed.
“Maybe he didn’t tell you more so you wouldn’t try to stop him from leaving. Maybe he knew he couldn’t refuse if you asked him to stay,” Lupe suggested, tilting her head as if it was a question. But she knew she was spot on. In fact she had discussed it with him before he left. But even she didn't know it was this serious.
“Well if that was his motivation he hit the nail on the head. If he had told me he might not come back I would have begged him to stay.”
“That’s what he said you would do.” Lupe muttered.
“What do you mean? Did you know about this?”
“Not about the kiss, but yes, I did know that there was a possibility he would not be coming back. He knows this trip might be his last. He said he is going to go to Romania,” Lupe’s voice was eerily calm, detached.
“Why didn’t you tell me?! Lupe! He might die! Don’t you care at all? He’s your friend! Why didn’t you stop him?! He is going to die and you could have stopped him!” Kalli screamed at her, not caring that the dorm head might hear. She was angry.
“It’s not for sure that he will. There is only a chance.”
“I can’t believe you. Don’t you see? Or are you completely brain-dead?” Kalli was so angry she could have cussed but she resisted. “You are going tell me exactly why Dragen chose to go on this trip, and how he cannot guarantee his own life,” Kalli’s voice was a creepy, airy whisper. No funny business. She wanted answers.
Lupe sighed regretfully. “He didn’t say anything else.”
“That’s a lie,” Kalli snapped. “You know more then you are telling me,” Kalli edged towards the door.
“Maybe that’s true. Dragen said for me to think of it as his dying request not to tell you why. I have said too much already. Go to bed, Kalli. Don’t worry about it,” Lupe slid under her covers and turned out her lamp.
“I don’t understand you. One of your best friends could die tonight and you are sleeping. You make me sick.”
“It won’t be tonight. It might not even be until spring. Do you expect me to not sleep until spring? That’s ridiculous Kalli. Now turn off the light and don't worry about it.”
“Fine,” Kalli crossed the room and clicked her lamp off; the room was now pitch dark. Kalli heard Lupe roll over sighing. She felt her way across the wall to the door.
“Where are you going?” Lupe asked groggily.
“Don’t worry about it.”
“You aren’t supposed to leave the dorm after 11 p.m.,” She responded lazily.
“Then turn me in. You can’t stop me. I’m going for a midnight walk,” Kalli said defiantly before shutting the door behind her and wrapping her thin sweater close around her body, hoping the fabric would fill the void of confusion in her heart.
“Kalli? Kalli, wake up. Were you out here all night?” Percy was talking down at Kalli sleeping on a garden bench. She wouldn’t wake up. “Alright, come on,” His voice was slightly strained as he lifted her from the bench. It wasn’t easy lifting someone when they were sleeping, he found. “We need to get you inside before you catch a cold,” He began carrying her to the girls’ dorm.
“I’m so sorry, Dragen. Please don’t go. Choose to live,” Kalli cried out in her sleep. “Don’t! No Dragen! Don’t die!” She screamed, jolting up. Percy had to hold tightly not to drop her. She kept struggling against him.
“Kalli! Kalli, stop! No one is hurting you. Wake up!” Her saying Dragen’s name in her sleep meant that she was dreaming of him, which Percy didn’t like. Her struggles against him became so great he had to sit her down in the grass. “Wake up! It’s not real, Kalli!”
“Pease no! No, stay with me. I care about you! Don’t die, please!” Her worthless pleas hurt Percy’s heart. He had to wake her up somehow. “No! Why did you kill him?! What…” Kalli jolted up suddenly, sucking in air as if someone had been holding her in water for the past few minutes.
“Kalli. Kalli, it’s ok. You’re ok. I’m here,” Percy said soothingly holding her thrashing wrists then holding her close, “its ok. It was only a dream,” Kalli began to sob into his chest. “Shh…” He said calmingly. “It’s alright…”
“No, it’s not! Dragen will die because I let him go! I should have seen it! If I had taken just a moment to think he would still be here, alive and well. I’m so stupid!” She pulled herself off Percy’s shirt and out of his arms. She stood and tried to walk but she was dizzy and her legs gave out from under her.
Percy watched in agony as she collapsed and curled into a small ball in the grass. His chest ached with the pain and urge to help her but not knowing what to do. He crawled closer to her.
“Kalli, baby, you can’t blame yourself for Dragen’s choices. I don’t know what this is all about but I do know it’s not your fault,” He tried to touch her back but she scrambled back to her feet, her eyes burning with anger.
“You don’t even know what is going on! Go away, Percy! Leave me alone! You don’t understand, I’m a murderer. I might as well have killed him by my own hand…!” Percy filled the gap she created in two strides. He grabbed her flailing arms at the wrist, keeping them in place while she fought uselessly to break free.
“Don’t send me away. You are not a murderer. I know what happened. Masashi told me. Now you need to breathe and slow your heart rate or you are going to collapse again,” He waited a few minutes for her to calm down. “Why do you blame yourself for Dragen going on a possibly fatal mission? You didn’t know. He made sure of that.”
“Because if I had asked him to stay he wouldn’t have left.”
“He would have had to face this eventually. What do you think would happen when he started h
is career and suddenly his face was everywhere? The government would be on him in an instant. It was time for Dragen to face his past. If you had stopped him, it would only be harder on him. He needs to do this,” Percy sat her down on a bench so she didn’t fall over.
“I hope he comes back so I can kill him.”
“That’s my girl.”
“Miss Hardford, I’m assuming you have been practicing the composition piece I gave you in the beginning of the year,” Her piano teacher asked as a statement.
“Well…Sort of…”
“Miss Hardford, am I to understand that in all this time you have not at all prepared for the end of year project?” Kalli rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly. Mr. L gave out a sigh of frustration. “Honestly, for my brightest student in years you are quite the hassle.”
“Sorry, sir. I’ll get right on it.”
“Kalli, I’m not sure you realize just how much is at stake here.”
She stopped short. “What do you mean?”
“I know you have had a lot on your mind, with your friends and all. But I understand your scholarship gives you means to continue your education here.”
“Yes, sir.”
“I hope you also understand that the renewal of your scholarship is annual and has requirements you must meet. One of which is performing at an excellent level in the end of year exhibition.”
“I was unaware.”
“And by well, I mean first, in the top spot in the judging.”
“But, what about Percy? He has one too.”
“Then it sounds to me like you have some serious competition. Only one can get the top spot.”
Only one can keep the scholarship, she figured he should have said.
“Sao Masashi-san!”
“Ka…Kaname? Kaname-sempai?” Lupe had never seen Masashi so happy to see another human being. They began speaking in quick Japanese. She didn’t pick up on much other than the pleasantries. Then she heard his sister’s name. “Miki-Chan?”
“Ai! Sao Miki-Chan!” The man called. Lupe saw a woman about her height. She was young with short straight black hair falling over her face. When she pushed it away her beauty was obvious. This was Miki, Masashi’s sister. Lupe smiled at the sight. They hadn’t gotten a chance to visit when they went to Japan for the winter holiday.
Masashi bowed politely as his sister approached. But then he hugged her once she got close enough. Lupe watched the happy reunion. She was also watching the man who looked at her in confusion. Masashi had taught her what to do in this instance. She did a slight bow from the waist and introduced herself. “Gonzalez Lupe-san.”
“Fugioka Kaname-sama,” He said using the most respectful term but smiled telling her he was friend. She smiled showing it was a pleasure to meet him.
Masashi then turned to her. “Lupe, this is my sister Miki and my cousin Kaname Fugioka. They are the only surviving members of my family line other than myself,” He then spoke to Miki and Kaname. “Miki-chan, Kaname-kun…Lupe-chan,” He began telling them about her. She picked out only a few words: Spain, beautiful, friend, and love. They seemed to find her interesting and pleasant. It had been a while since she had seen this much light in Masashi’s eyes and face; true happiness. She wasn’t sure why, but he didn’t do very well if he was away from his family for very long. But maybe the reason she didn’t understand was because her family was nothing to look forward to. Fighting with etiquette, she liked to call it. That is all that matters to them. But for Masashi it was different. She could see that. His family came halfway around the world just to see him. Her family refused to fly a few countries north. Then again, these three had been through a lot together. She could see the bonds that had formed between them. She saw a fire in Masashi’s bottomless eyes that disappeared after only a few weeks apart from them. It was an odd yet magical relationship they all had. It was the kind of family she yearned for with every fiber of her being.
“Lupe-chan…you are…spacing out,” Kaname’s broken English shattered into her thoughts.
“Oh sorry. Wait--you speak English?”
“A...small bit,” he struggled to find words. It was obvious he was far from fluent. Lupe started laughing at how his accent sounded. He attempted to sound more English. “Funny? What? Did I speak bad?” Masashi laughed this time and shook his head. He explained quietly in Japanese what she was laughing at. She watched the grin creep onto his face as he realized what he was doing. “I like this one, Masashi-kun.”
“Well, it has been a pleasurable day but Miki-chan and I really must be going. I have saved a pair of rooms for us because visitors cannot stay on campus. We shall be back tomorrow afternoon.”
“We are excited to see you again Kaname-San, and Miki-chan of course,” Lupe bid Kaname farewell as Masashi said goodbye to his beloved sister. Kaname bowed slightly at the waist and retrieved Miki before departing from campus for the evening. Masashi and Lupe stood together and watched them go until the dark kept them from seeing.
“I like your family. They’re nice.”
“Yeah, they are pretty awesome. But I guess we didn’t get to spend much time together today, did we?” He did her favorite one eyebrow raised side look. She laughed lightly.
“No, we did not. It’s ok though, I was glad to see your ‘spark’ again. Besides, I got to talk with Kaname. He is a lot like you, just more sociable.”
Masashi feigned concern. “Are you going to leave me for my cousin? That’s low,” He smiled to show his jest.
Lupe shrugged. “Hey, I have to keep my options open. Right?”
Masashi put his arm around her, silently telling her that she didn’t need anyone else in line, because he wasn’t giving her up.
“I do hope you are planning on using your spring break wisely,” Luke Stanley came up to Kalli sitting in the gardens.
“Pardon?”
“Having two weeks to practice and get an edge on your competitors seems like a good idea.”
“I think I’ll be alright.”
“Practice, Miss Hardford, you’ll need it.”
***