Page 21 of The White Rose


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  Twenty-three

  I CAN’T SLEEP THAT NIGHT.

  There is a throbbing at the base of my skull, like an Augury headache, and I know it’s concern for Sienna.

  Ash and I have taken to sleeping in the hayloft in the barn. Sil was right about being able to destroy things in my sleep—that first night I spent outside with Ash, he told me later that he could feel things moving in the earth under us. I told him he didn’t have to stay outside with me anymore, but he shrugged and smiled and said he didn’t mind.

  I’m safe to sleep around now, but the house makes me claustrophobic. I like the barn—it’s airy and comfortable, and not so confining. The elements can breathe here. Plus, it feels like Ash and I have our own private space.

  I stare at the slats in the wooden roof and can’t help thinking my plan won’t work.

  There has to be a way to get Sienna to connect with the elements, without taking the time to break her down, or whatever Sil is expecting to happen. My toes twitch with worry, pulling against the soft wool blanket we sleep on.

  “You all right?” Ash murmurs sleepily. I roll onto my side, and he slides his arm around my waist, pulling me back against his chest.

  “I’m concerned about Sienna. I’m worried we don’t have enough time. What if Sil’s method doesn’t work? What if she hates us by the end of it? We need her as an ally. Plus, we still need two more girls, one for Eastgate and one for Westgate. And we’ll have to show them, too.” I pick a piece of hay off the blanket. “I don’t even know how we’re supposed to get to the holding facilities.”

  “Violet, a few weeks ago I was locked in a dungeon set to be executed and you were going to be forced to bear a child that would ultimately kill you. I think we’re doing quite well, all things considered.”

  “Aren’t you the optimist?”

  Ash’s breath tickles my ear. “I try.”

  I hear the familiar hint of frustration in his voice.

  “I’m sorry,” I say. “I know you want to help.”

  His arm tenses around me. “I do.” He rests his chin on my shoulder. “Listen, please don’t think I resent you or . . . it’s just . . . everyone around here has some special power. Everyone can do incredible things, except me.” He pauses, and when he speaks again he sounds embarrassed. “I hope this doesn’t come out wrong but . . . I’ve been serving women my whole life. I want to do something for myself. I want to be in charge of my own fate.”

  I roll onto my back and gaze up at him. He’s right. It isn’t fair for Ash to go from one prison to another.

  “I know things, you know,” he says. “About the royalty. I know how they think. I know some of their secrets. I know which palaces would be easiest to infiltrate, and which royals hate each other most, and which companions might be inclined to help.”

  “You should talk to Lucien,” I suggest.

  Ash lets out a hard laugh. “Lucien would never accept my help. Nor would he think he needs it.”

  “But if you have information that can help the Society, he’ll have to listen,” I say.

  “So far, all I’ve managed to do is become one of the Lone City’s most-wanted fugitives. I don’t see how that’s helpful.”

  “We can’t always know what will eventually be helpful and what won’t,” I say. “Look at Raven. The Countess cut into her brain and accidentally gave her the extra sense that got us out of the sewers. She saved you in Landing’s Market. She helped me—” I sit up so fast my head spins. “She helped me understand the elements,” I gasp.

  “Violet?” Ash asks. I’m staring ahead, not seeing anything, one hand clamped over my mouth.

  What if I could go to that place again, the place where I saved her? I don’t know what it was exactly, but it was old and rich with the magic of this island—it created an instant connection with the elements. Is it a place where the Paladin once lived? Was the stone statue there something they built?

  What if I could take Sienna there? Then she wouldn’t need to be tied up outside. She’d understand immediately. I’m sure of it.

  “I have to talk to Raven,” I say, throwing off the blanket. Raven and I were in that place together. Maybe together, we can figure out a way to get back to it.

  I climb down the ladder to the hayloft and out of the barn into the night.

  As I cut across the clearing toward the White Rose, I see a figure sitting on the back porch.

  “You’re awake,” Raven says as I join her. She is wrapped in a quilt and holds out one side of it. I sit next to her and drape the thick blanket around me.

  “So are you,” I say.

  “The Countess kept me in darkness for so long. Sometimes I’m afraid to close my eyes. Sometimes I have bad dreams.” She shivers and I lean into her. “So. Sienna. She’s . . . interesting.”

  “She had such a high score,” I say. “And she seemed so fierce, a fighter, exactly what we need. But I guess I don’t know her at all.”

  “She’ll come around,” Raven says.

  “I hope so.”

  “Once she understands who she is, she’ll have to.”

  Raven finds the Paladin fascinating. She looks over Sil’s portfolio almost every day.

  “You don’t use the elements, though.”

  She half smiles. “I don’t know if I can. I’m scared to try. My mind is still . . . fragile. It’s not the same as it was before. What if I can’t control it? What if I hurt someone? What if it consumes me, or twists me even further from myself? It’s too risky.” She closes her eyes. “Sometimes, though, I go back there. To that place where you found me.”

  My ears prick. “You do?”

  “It has this . . . this pulse. It calls to me.” Raven opens her eyes. “It’s them, I think. Or the echo of them. I hear the whispers there sometimes. But I can never quite understand what they’re saying. I think they might feel bad for me. I think they might know that I’ve been hurt.” She rubs her temples. “I love seeing the ocean. On that map of the island Sil has, the one where all those red Xs are? I think those were some of the places the Paladin lived. I think that monument is something they built.”

  “I was thinking that, too. Raven, do you think . . . could you take me back there?” I ask.

  Raven smiles and holds out a hand, her palm facing up. I reach out to take it, then stop myself.

  “Could you take Sienna there, too?”

  Her face darkens. “I guess,” she says. “I could try.”

  Our breath makes white clouds in the air as we skirt the edge of the pond and head to the tree line. As we approach, I can see Sienna’s figure, huddled against an old spruce. I’m glad I gave her the blanket.

  “Who’s there?” she calls.

  “It’s Violet,” I say. She rubs her eyes and looks up at us.

  “Are you going to let me go?” she asks. “It’s freezing.”

  “I’m going to try something,” I say. I sit down next to her, and Raven follows my lead.

  “That old witch is crazy,” Sienna says.

  “That old witch didn’t tie you up out here,” I say. “I did.” I reach out a hand to her.

  “You really expect me to hold your hand?”

  “Do you want to stay stuck to this tree for the next few months? I think Raven can show you something,” I say. “But we need to be connected.” I glance at Raven. “Don’t we?”

  Raven sighs and holds out a hand to each of us. Hers is warm in mine. Sienna’s is still cold.

  I close my eyes. For several long seconds, nothing happens. Then Raven’s grip tightens and my whole body tilts backward, falling, my heart in my throat, and we are there. Back on the cliff. The ocean cries out a welcome as it crashes into the rocks below.

  The scene is different than it was the first time I came here. The trees are barren, black branches against a white sky. Snow fall
s thick and fast, covering the ground in an ivory blanket and leaving a trail of white on the spiraling, blue-gray statue. The ocean foams beneath us, frothy waves of slate-colored water.

  Raven is beside me, and she is my Raven from before. The differences are subtle now that she’s recovered so well. But she’s plumper. And her hair is short like it used to be. But it’s her eyes where the difference is most pronounced. They are bright and sparkle with mischief.

  Sienna stands on the opposite side of the statue. She looks different, too. Her hair is loose, not in its usual braids, but tight curls that fall to her waist. Her face is full and healthy, and there is a warmth in her eyes I have never seen before. I wonder whether this place shows us as we were before diagnosed as surrogates. Before the Auguries twisted us.

  Sienna stares out at the ocean, a rapt expression on her face. Then she sticks out her tongue and catches a snowflake. Her laughter is silent as snowflakes leap and dance around her.

  She circles the statue, making big footprints in the snow. She is giddy, like a child. Underneath her hard exterior, there is a little girl who wants to make a snowman. I can sense it. She always liked the snow.

  Time to go, Raven thinks. I can hear her as clearly as if she’d spoken out loud.

  The wind howls, and I feel myself being sucked up and away, the dizziness growing painful, until we are back in the real world.

  Sienna slumps over. Her back shudders, and it takes me a second to realize she’s crying.

  The roots release their hold on her. Sienna isn’t going anywhere.

  She looks up, her face a jumble of emotion. “What was that place?”

  “Home,” Raven says.

  “I felt . . .” She clutches her chest. “I feel . . . everything.”

  Tears spill down Sienna’s face, as she looks around the forest like she’s never seen anything like it.

  “Look down,” I say with a smile.

  A patch of brilliant orange flowers has blossomed at her feet. They wither back into the ground as a light snow begins to fall.

  I’m still holding her hand. It is as warm as Raven’s now. I give hers a reassuring squeeze. I can sense the riot inside Sienna, the struggle to understand the sudden rush of emotion. More flowers bloom and die around her.

  “What is it?” she asks, breathless.

  “It’s life,” I whisper.

  We sit there in a silent circle as the snow falls softly around us.

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  Twenty-four

  SIENNA CAN ONLY CONNECT WITH FIRE AND EARTH.

  We sit outside the next evening, a large fire burning in a pit surrounded by heavy gray stones. Sienna loves making the flames leap higher and higher. Sil won’t let her in the house.

  “Fire is the most unpredictable,” she told us. Then she added privately to me, “And I don’t like the look on her face when she connects with it.”

  Even now as I watch, Sienna’s body is inclined toward the fire. She sits closer than I feel is safe, her expression peaceful but her eyes alight. I’m trying to make a blueprint of Southgate on a sketch pad, to remind myself of every wall and door and what might be the best point of entry. The back hall by the kitchen? The windows of the music room?

  The flames crackle and bits of burning embers spray across the stones.

  “Sienna,” I say sharply.

  She blinks and the fire dies down.

  “It’s fun,” she says.

  “It’s dangerous,” I remind her. “Remember that.”

  “I feel like I could burn all their palaces to the ground.” There’s a hungry look in her eyes as she says it. “I think I could—”

  She is interrupted by a shout from inside the house.

  “Stay out here,” I tell her and rush through the back door.

  Sil and Ash are facing each other down in the living room.

  “You can’t stop me,” Ash is saying.

  “This isn’t your call,” Sil shouts. “It’s dangerous and foolish and it could ruin everything.”

  “What’s going on?” I ask.

  “I heard her talking to Lucien,” Ash says. “There’s a meeting tonight, for the Society. I want to go.” He turns to me. “I want to help.”

  “A meeting?” I look at Sil. “Where?”

  “Not you, too,” she says. “You have to stay here.”

  “I’ve gone out before,” I insist.

  “Not like this.”

  “I’m sick of being stuck here while everyone else helps,” Ash says. “I have to do something more. Let me try at least.”

  “And what do you plan to do for the Society, anyway?” Sil asks. “Entertain the female members?”

  His face turns crimson. “If you think that will be useful,” he says.

  “Ash,” I say sharply.

  “I can’t sit around anymore, Violet,” he says. “Everyone forgets about the companions. We don’t have any powers. We aren’t special in any way. But we’re still people. We still have the right to fight for our freedom as much as any surrogate or lady-in-waiting, farmer or factory worker.”

  I think about how hard he’s tried to be patient, how accepting he’s been of everything that’s happening around here. The new surrogate. The elements. The true history of this island. There hasn’t been much room for him.

  He deserves this.

  “You’re right,” I say. “You should go. And I’m going, too.”

  “No one is going, and that’s final,” Sil says.

  I fold my arms and stare at her. “Keeping us in the dark won’t keep us safe. We have a right to be involved.” I hesitate before adding, “Don’t make the same mistake you made with Azalea.”

  A gust of air, so forceful it feels like a solid wall, blasts out from Sil’s small frame and hits me squarely in the chest. I stumble back, gasping. Ash grabs my arm to keep me from falling.

  “Violet!”

  “I’m fine,” I wheeze as Sil turns on her heel and marches out the front door, the wind slamming it behind her. I straighten my spine. “We’re going to that meeting.”

  THAT NIGHT, IT IS BITTERLY COLD. ASH AND I BUNDLE UP in our warmest clothes.

  Sienna has been allowed inside. She sits on the couch, Raven in Sil’s rocking chair by the fireplace. Sienna keeps making the flames leap and roar while Raven’s expression becomes increasingly irritated.

  “Be careful,” I say. “Sil might kill you if you burn this house down.”

  The flames quiet. “You better tell us everything,” Sienna says.

  “Of course I will.”

  Raven reaches out to me. I take her hand and squeeze it.

  “Be safe,” she whispers.

  I nod.

  Sil is climbing into the driver’s seat of the cart when Ash and I walk out the front door. “Come on,” she says reluctantly. “We’ve got a long way to go. Don’t want to be late.”

  I hop up into the bed of the cart, Ash climbing up behind me.

  Sil cracks the reins and the cart rolls forward.

  “Where is the meeting?” Ash asks.

  Sil pauses, clearly still mad that we are going with her. Finally, she says, “In a town called Fairview, about an hour from here.”

  I snuggle into Ash’s side for warmth. The trees reach out over our heads, stars twinkling through their branches. I want to join with the earth and feel those branches stretching toward the sky.

  When we emerge from the forest, Ash sits up straighter. Fields of wheat stretch out before us, stunted stumps poking up from the ground, dormant until spring.

  “So this is the Farm,” he says. “It’s . . . big.”

  I forget that Ash hasn’t seen the Farm before. Just the forest that first night we came to the White Rose.

  “Rye is from the Farm,” he muses. “Not this quarter, though.”

  I hadn’t given Rye much thought since Sienn
a joined us. But of course, Ash would worry about his friend.

  “I’m sure Carnelian is having a fabulous time with him,” I say dryly. “Like Garnet said.”

  “Carnelian is very lonely,” he says. “She wants someone to care about her, to like her best. Her own mother refused to stay alive for her. Those sorts of scars don’t heal easily.”

  I hate when he talks that way about Carnelian. I don’t want to feel bad for her.

  “She turned you in,” I point out.

  “I think, technically, she turned you in,” he says.

  “Does that make it better?”

  “Of course not. But you don’t see her the way I do. You dislike her too much.”

  “Because she’s awful.”

  “But she has also suffered at the hands of the royalty,” Ash says. “You saw how the Duchess treated her. They mocked her. No one wanted to marry her. Dirty blood, the other royal daughters called her. Bank trash. Does she not count as their victim, too?”

  I hadn’t realized Carnelian was bullied like that. Though I suppose I’m not surprised.

  “We can’t choose who we free from them, Violet. It has to be all or nothing. Do you think Lucien would ever choose to help a companion?”

  “All right,” I say. “I understand. But don’t ask me to like her.”

  Ash grins and kisses my temple.

  “Do you think we can do this?” I ask.

  “Overthrow the royalty?”

  I nod.

  “I certainly hope so. And it seems worth trying, doesn’t it?” He gazes out over the moonlit fields. “We were all going to end up dead, one way or another.”

  “That’s an awfully bleak way of looking at it,” I say.

  He shrugs. “I’m being honest. I’d rather die fighting the royalty than serving them.”

  “Well said,” Sil barks from the driver’s seat. Ash and I exchange a smile.

  Slowly, the landscape begins to change. Hills break up the skyline in craggy peaks, bigger than the ones surrounding Bartlett Station. We pass a couple small towns, sheep grazing in paddocked pastures. Sil turns the cart down a narrow path that leads into a little copse of trees.