features as best she could, knowing she wasn’t going to be anywhere near I’m totally okay with this, but hoping she wasn’t giving off the Please God let there be a hole in the floor and let me fall right through it vibe either. But as soon as she sat down and Abby looked their way, the smile disappeared from her face and she knew it hadn’t worked. Either the expression on Luke’s face or her own told Abby everything she needed to know.
Meagan cleared her throat. “What can we do for you? I’m a woman, but I don’t identify as a submissive. I’m a switch.”
There was nothing from Luke. No words. No movement. She wasn’t sure he was breathing.
Of course by now, everybody had noticed the tension between her and Luke.
Cole cleared his throat. “Switch works.”
Across the room, Abby looked as though she was bursting to ask what was wrong with Meagan. Instead she turned to Cole. “What are your questions?”
“We were discussing the new club. For the dressing rooms, should we separate by gender or by role?”
“If you do it by role,” Meagan mused, “where does that leave switches?”
Nathaniel raised an eyebrow at Cole. “She makes a good point.”
“So we go by gender,” Cole said. “Do you think everyone would be okay with submissives and Dominants sharing the same room to change in?”
“I’m okay with that,” Abby said. “I’d rather share with a Domme than a man.”
“How would same-sex players feel?” Meagan asked.
The men nodded and Nathaniel replied, “We’ll have to take that into consideration.”
Meagan really hoped that was all the men wanted to know. Normally, she wouldn’t mind discussing a new club, but with Luke right beside her still not moving and still not talking, she wanted only to escape as quickly as possible.
“How is your New York club set up, Luke?” Cole asked.
“The dressing rooms are set up by gender.” Luke’s voice was tight. “But there are separate role-specific rooms as well.”
Meagan knew for a fact there weren’t any rooms designated for switches. Any other time, she would be jumping all over Luke to bring that up. Not today.
“Do you have a room for switches?” Nathaniel asked. Beside her, Luke tensed even more and Abby whispered something into her husband’s ear. Meagan would bet money it was about her, but Nathaniel only nodded and didn’t give any indication as to what his wife had spoken to him about.
Luke responded with, “No.”
“How does that work?” Cole looked at Meagan. “If there’s not a room designated for switches, which one do you use?”
Meagan balled her hands into fists so tight, she knew she’d have nail marks on her palms. She shot Abby a let’s get out of here look. However, Cole had asked her a question. “I know before I get to the club which role I’ll be in for that particular night. I dress appropriately at home, and use the corresponding room when I arrive at the club.”
“Thank you,” said Cole.
“I think we could set up something similar,” said Nathaniel. “Luke?”
“I don’t see why not.”
An uncomfortable silence followed, and she felt as if everybody was watching her even though she knew that wasn’t the case.
Abby gave her husband a kiss on the cheek. “If you guys don’t have any more questions for us, we’ll be on our way.”
“Thank you,” Nathaniel said.
Meagan stood up and followed Abby out of the room. As soon as they were outside of earshot, Abby turned to her. “So, what the hell happened between you and Luke?”
* * *
Luke braced himself for the questions as soon as the ladies left the room and he wasn’t surprised when Nathaniel spoke first.
“Luke? Is everything okay?”
No, he wanted to shout. Everything was not okay. It could not be further from okay. At the moment, though, he wasn’t sure he wanted to explain everything to the gathered men. Especially not to Nathaniel, who had never cared for Meagan and simply put up with her because Abby worked for her and genuinely liked her.
It shouldn’t have made a difference. He shouldn’t care what people thought of Meagan. Yet somehow he did. He cleared his throat. “Meagan and I have been working on a project and it’s over now. In more ways than one.”
Sitting in a chair near Nathaniel, Fritz remained silent. After Meagan had left a couple of days ago—well, after he kicked her out—Fritz had seen how upset he was and didn’t push the issue. He left after telling Luke to call him if he wanted to talk. At the time, talking was the last thing on Luke’s mind. But maybe talking now would be beneficial.
“As you probably know, Meagan and I were together for a short period of time several years ago.” He stopped, trying to decide how much he wanted to share and making sure Meagan wasn’t within earshot. “We’ve been working together on a project of mine, a BDSM-themed, erotic photography book, and we ended up going beyond the original agreement.”
He wasn’t going to tell them about the blackmail. He glanced over to Fritz and the man nodded, his indication that he would play this conversation however Luke wanted.
“The short of it is, we were right all those years ago to end it. We aren’t good together.”
“If you ask me”—Cole watched him carefully—“I say you both looked miserable just now. In fact, I recognize the expression you both had.”
“And what was that?” Luke asked.
“It’s the same look I had when I was trying to convince myself I didn’t need my Sasha.” Cole shook his head, remembering. “I only made us both miserable.”
“I remember,” Nathaniel added. “That night at the New York club, when you said it was too soon for either of you and that anything beyond her training wasn’t in the plan.”
Fritz laughed. “Cole told me the same thing. ‘Fuck the plan,’ I told him.”
Cole pointed at the other Dominant. “You can stop right there, Fritz. You’re a fine one to talk.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, really?” Cole looked as if he was having too much fun teasing his friend. “Do you think it somehow escaped my attention that you have a thing for my ex?”
Fritz didn’t deny anything. “You know I would never do anything to take your slave away from you.”
“Of course I do. But she’s no longer my slave and yet, here you sit, not having made any type of move.”
“The time isn’t right.”
“The time will never be right.” Cole’s eyes widened and he snapped his fingers. “I know. Sasha mentioned hosting another tea party. I can invite you and Kate over.”
“Seriously?” Nathaniel chimed in. “Your collared submissive serving tea to your ex-slave? That takes balls, man.”
Cole thought for a minute. “Yeah, Sasha would probably have my balls. But don’t worry. I’ll think of something.”
Luke was thankful the conversation between Cole and Fritz kept everyone’s attention away from him, but as soon as Cole stopped talking, they all looked at him.
“No. Never,” he said. “Meagan and I are finished. Forever this time.”
* * *
Thankfully, the office Abby led Meagan to was far enough away from the men that they couldn’t hear their conversation. Why did it seem as if every time she visited Abby, he was there?
“I’m so sorry,” Abby said as soon as they were in the office and the door closed. “Did you and Luke split? I didn’t know.”
“It’s much worse than that.” Meagan knew she needed to say the words, but they wouldn’t come.
“He found out.” Abby said them for her.
“Worse, he only had an idea something was going on and he set up an interrogation scene with Brose out there.”
Abby shivered. “Damn. I don’t even want to think about that.”
“Believe me, it wasn’t much fun doing it.”
“What did he say when he found out?”
&nbs
p; Meagan closed her eyes against the tears that threatened to spill. “He told me to get the fuck out of his studio and out of his house. He wouldn’t listen to me or let me explain.”
Abby leaned forward and took her hand. “I was afraid it would come to this when you didn’t tell him. I’m so sorry.”
“There’s no way to get him back, either, is there?”
“Trust once lost is difficult to get back.” She squeezed her hand lightly. “But it is possible. I know it is. But I don’t want to give you false hope. I think that’s worse than no hope.”
“I just wish I knew what to do.”
“Have you been in contact with whoever is blackmailing you?”
“No, not yet. He gave me more time with this. I have until the end of the week.”
“What are you going to do?”
Meagan thought about what she wanted to do: curl up in a ball and cry, lock herself in her house and never come out. But those weren’t options. She had a life and she had to live it. Even if that life now stretched out before her, looking more and more lonely every day. “Maybe I’ll get a dog,” she tried joking. “Surely, I can’t mess that up.”
“Seriously, though.” Abby’s voice sounded soft and soothing. It was a balm after Luke’s tirade.
“I’m thinking about going to the police and telling them everything. Then I can contact the blackmailer and tell him to fuck off.”
“Or if you go to the police, you could give them the details and let them go after him.”
Meagan thought about both possible options. While there would be satisfaction in telling The Taskmaster what he could do with himself, she knew deep down that it would be for the best if she let the police handle it. They were more capable than she was, and in doing this she could wash her hands of the entire situation.
“Yes,” she said, agreeing with Abby. “I should probably go to the police. My one big concern, though, is whether he has any more naked pictures of me. I feel so . . . violated. I’d hate for one of those to get out.”
“If you go to the police, and give them all the information you have, maybe they can take care of it for you.”
Meagan just wasn’t sure she was ready to do that.
When she got home, she booted up her computer and sat looking at the blank screen for several long minutes. She knew it wouldn’t be possible to reason with The Taskmaster and he had already proven that he was unwilling to negotiate. That vastly limited her options. Plus, she had probably lost Luke forever, so whatever she did, needed to be for her. It was too late to get him back.
She took a deep breath and started an e-mail.
Taskmaster,
In my life, I have done several things that I regretted. Most of them are small, and have little to no bearing on either my life or my future. But there is one that I deeply regret. And that was falling prey to your demands.
I’ll give it to you—you knew exactly which buttons of mine to push. Which fears to play upon. And where to hit me at my weakest. But those aren’t the main reason I’m so angry. The main reason is that you involved Luke.
Part of me thinks I should be happy. After all, your little plan put me back in contact with him. And I will forever hold those times dear. But you took what was dear and made it something I was ashamed of. Something I couldn’t enjoy without feeling guilty. But most important, something that hurt Luke. And that is something I cannot forgive.
I’m not playing your game anymore. Do what you want, I don’t care. Nothing you can do will come close to hurting me any more than you already have.
Regards,
Tired of Your Shit
After composing the e-mail, she drummed her fingers on the desk. Not because she was unsure about sending the e-mail, but because she was trying to decide if she should copy Luke. When she realized it might be her last chance to contact him, she put him on blind carbon copy, closed her eyes, and hit SEND.
She expected him to reply immediately as he’d always done in the past. After sitting and staring at the laptop screen for five minutes, it became obvious he would not. She couldn’t decide if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
Eventually, she turned off her laptop and put it away.
Now that she had ended the situation with The Taskmaster, she had to decide her next step. She didn’t think she was going to the police. No, that would be too easy, and she needed to make a statement. She wanted to send a loud and clear message, not only to The Taskmaster, but also to Luke. Though she didn’t think there was any chance of them ever getting back together again, she couldn’t help but hold out some sort of hope he still wanted her.
His feelings for her had been real; she knew that. Surely, there was no way those feelings could simply disappear overnight. She held on to the hope that he was simply angry and perhaps one day he might forgive her.
She was restless for the rest of the afternoon, but she’d decided on her next step and she made a few phone calls in order to line it up. Thinking it would help clear her mind and pass the time until she heard back from The Taskmaster, she decided to go to the pizza place where Luke had stopped before their picnic.
She walked outside with the intention that she’d get takeout and eat in Central Park. But halfway to the restaurant, she knew she couldn’t do it. Too many memories of Luke. Instead, she would simply eat alone, in the restaurant.
A lady was working the hostess stand when she entered. She was glad; this way she wouldn’t be recognized. She wasn’t in the mood to answer any questions about Luke.
The waitress had just taken her order when a familiar voice rang out.
“Teresa,” a man said who sounded very much like Luke. “Did Angeleno kick you out of the kitchen?”
The hostess laughed. “He knows better.”
“Just picking on you. How about a table for two?”
A table for two? He was with someone. Was it a date? She didn’t dare look over her shoulder to see. She felt like sinking into the booth and wished she still had the menu to hide behind.
The hostess took Luke and his date to the other side of the room. Fortunately, a plant kept Meagan out of his line of sight. However, if Meagan looked between the leaves, she could just make out his table. Her heart sank when she saw he was with a woman.
And not just any woman. She was beautiful. Most definitely a model.
The waitress brought her food, but she didn’t feel like eating. She forced herself to take a few bites, though it may as well have been cardboard. Laughter drifted her way from Luke’s table and though she couldn’t hear what was said, the message was clear.
She had been replaced.
She left as quickly as she could, not even taking her leftovers home. She didn’t want to wait for a box; she just wanted to leave and get home. To get on her pajamas and curl up on the couch and think about anything other than how quickly Luke had found comfort in another woman’s arms.
And because she was a glutton for punishment, she checked her e-mail one last time before going to bed. There were two new messages. She read Luke’s first.
Don’t bother copying me on any further messages. They will be deleted unread.
She couldn’t stop the tears that ran down her cheeks. If that wasn’t a sound good-bye forever, she didn’t know what was.
That left the e-mail from The Taskmaster unread. She opened it, knowing no matter what it said, there was no way it would be half as painful as Luke’s.
You only think you’ve won, you uppity bitch. Just you wait. When you least suspect it, I’ll make you pay. And it’ll make those pansy-ass spankings from Luke feel like child’s play.
Reading the e-mail should have frightened her. There in black-and-white was a bold threat. But her eyes could barely make it past the first sentence.
Uppity bitch?
There was only one person who had ever called her that.
Her brother.