CHAPTER 18
It seemed like such a long time since she and Simon had canoed the 250 kilometres of the muddy swirling water downstream to the small outback village of Louth. The Darling had been in flood, so she and Simon had drifted with the current for four days.
Four days of sunshine when they had floated on the river by day, and camped by open fires under clear starry skies at night.
Of all the places she had been in her life. From the rivers in Borneo, the mountains of Scotland, the Rockies in Canada or the Kimberley in Western Australia her fondest memory was the trip down the Darling River with Simon. Now she was here once again with the lazy moving river where she’d left part of her heart. She had not returned to retrieve it, but to be with it, to make it whole again.
She’d spent her life in the good times of travel, and had known and held fond memories, but now she felt weary.
Her soul was tired from the exertions she’d asked of it over the long years, and she needed to have somewhere to call home. She knew that if she were to go to a doctor then the doctor would prescribe Simon.
She knew that he was the remedy. These first days back with him had been excellent, although Simon seemed to be withdrawn and sometimes quiet, almost moody. She wondered if it was because of her.
Was it because he’d come to expect that she would be here today and maybe gone tomorrow? If that was the case, then the only way to solve the problem was with time. How would she find out if he was prepared to give her that time?
What happened if she left herself open and accepted that here with him she would stay, only to find that he was used to her arriving and then going again. Until the next time around and they would start over?
Would he want her around full time?
He was a free spirit like her in many ways.
She looked up and saw a large bird gliding over the river, a hawk of some kind. It lifted and turned, and its shadow passed over her as it spiralled to a River Red Gum where it settled lightly on a high branch. There was a nest in the same tree, though whether it belonged to the bird or not she couldn’t tell. Maybe the nest was an old one, whose sticks still balanced on the branch which swayed lightly in the wind.
Whichever way it was, Sarah saw a connection between the hawk and its home, whereas she was a traveller without a home. She looked back at the water, and watched a log moving along with the current as she told herself that time would tell. As the sun went down in red and gold she stood up and went to the house to find Simon, quietly assuring herself that everything would work out, and that she was just being silly.
She was suddenly surprised at herself and her doubt.
Doubt was a new sensation in this usually confident woman’s mind.
She was near the house when she heard the phone sound and Simon was replacing its hand piece as she walked through the doorway.
“I didn’t know if it might have been Mum?” She asked.
“No, it was a mate of mine in town. He just rang to tell me there is a fax for me.”
Sarah noticed that Simon was a little jumpier this evening and she wondered again if it were because of her. He was also in a hurry to get out of the house and into town.
“I need to see what this fax has to say. The electrician says he hasn’t been in his office for two days, so I don’t know when it arrived and if it may be important. Do you want to come for the drive?” It was the longest sentence she’d ever heard him say and she noticed he was perspiring.
“No. You go and I’ll see if I can rustle up something for us to eat when you get back.” Simon hurried out the door, and was gone before she realized he’d not kissed her good bye.
She turned to the kitchen and found the two fish she and Simon had caught at dawn that morning.
It was a bit over an hour later when she heard the Ford return. Simon was driving fast; changing gears at times, then speeding up to almost hurtle through the bush. Sarah watched as the headlights of the car seemed to pass by the tree trunks very quickly.
He pulled up outside the house and she heard him walk across the veranda floor boards before he stepped through the doorway and into the kitchen. The grin on his face spread from ear to ear, and although he appeared a little more relaxed she sensed that he was inwardly excited.
“It went O.K then?” She asked.
He watched her play half-heartedly with the fish and went to her as she faced the kitchen bench. He knew he’d been strained during the last couple of days and knew also, that it must have been noticeable to her.
He took her waist in his big hands and turned her to face him. She had flour on her hands and a little more on the end of her nose and he smiled.
“I know that in the past we’ve been together for a little while, and then we part again to go our separate ways. It’s the way we are and we both understand that. In a few weeks I’ll be ready to put to sea and I want to know if you’ll stay this time and come to the Whitsunday’s with me? Sarah, will you stay this time?” Sarah looked at his kind face, then buried her face into his chest and started to cry. Simon held her close as her body quivered and heaved as if she had broken free of some demon and loosed it from her.
After a while she straightened and looked at him.
“Simon, I’ve been a wanderer all my life, and now, tonight, I think I’m finally home.”
“There’s one thing you probably should know.”
“What’s that?” She asked.
He looked deep into her eyes.
“You’ve got flour on your nose.”
With tears still drying in her eyes she laughed.