paused awhile, and looked into Mrs. Score's face, as for one more
chance. "Get out, you nasty trull!" said that lady, sternly, with
arms akimbo; and poor Catherine, with a most piteous scream and
outgush of tears, let go of the door-post and staggered away into
the road.
* * *
"Why, no--yes--no--it is poor Catherine Hall, as I live!" said
somebody, starting up, shoving aside Mrs. Score very rudely, and
running into the road, wig off and pipe in hand. It was honest
Doctor Dobbs; and the result of his interview with Mrs. Cat was,
that he gave up for ever smoking his pipe at the "Bugle;" and that
she lay sick of a fever for some weeks in his house.
* * *
Over this part of Mrs. Cat's history we shall be as brief as
possible; for, to tell the truth, nothing immoral occurred during
her whole stay at the good Doctor's house; and we are not going to
insult the reader by offering him silly pictures of piety,
cheerfulness, good sense, and simplicity; which are milk-and-water
virtues after all, and have no relish with them like a good strong
vice, highly peppered. Well, to be short: Doctor Dobbs, though a
profound theologian, was a very simple gentleman; and before Mrs.
Cat had been a month in the house, he had learned to look upon her
as one of the most injured and repentant characters in the world;
and had, with Mrs. Dobbs, resolved many plans for the future welfare
of the young Magdalen. "She was but sixteen, my love, recollect,"
said the Doctor; "she was carried off, not by her own wish either.
The Count swore he would marry her; and, though she did not leave
him until that monster tried to poison her, yet think what a fine
Christian spirit the poor girl has shown! she forgives him as
heartily--more heartily, I am sure, than I do Mrs. Score for turning
her adrift in that wicked way." The reader will perceive some
difference in the Doctor's statement and ours, which we assure him
is the true one; but the fact is, the honest rector had had his tale
from Mrs. Cat, and it was not in his nature to doubt, if she had
told him a history ten times more wonderful.
The reverend gentleman and his wife then laid their heads together;
and, recollecting something of John Hayes's former attachment to
Mrs. Cat, thought that it might be advantageously renewed, should
Hayes be still constant. Having very adroitly sounded Catherine (so
adroitly, indeed, as to ask her "whether she would like to marry
John Hayes?"), that young woman had replied, "No. She had loved
John Hayes--he had been her early, only love; but she was fallen
now, and not good enough for him." And this made the Dobbs family
admire her more and more, and cast about for means to bring the
marriage to pass.
Hayes was away from the village when Mrs. Cat had arrived there; but
he did not fail to hear of her illness, and how her aunt had
deserted her, and the good Doctor taken her in. The worthy Doctor
himself met Mr. Hayes on the green; and, telling him that some
repairs were wanting in his kitchen begged him to step in and
examine them. Hayes first said no, plump, and then no, gently; and
then pished, and then psha'd; and then, trembling very much, went
in: and there sat Mrs. Catherine, trembling very much too.
What passed between them? If your Ladyship is anxious to know,
think of that morning when Sir John himself popped the question.
Could there be anything more stupid than the conversation which took
place? Such stuff is not worth repeating: no, not when uttered by
people in the very genteelest of company; as for the amorous
dialogue of a carpenter and an ex-barmaid, it is worse still.
Suffice it to say, that Mr. Hayes, who had had a year to recover
from his passion, and had, to all appearances, quelled it, was over
head and ears again the very moment he saw Mrs. Cat, and had all his
work to do again.
Whether the Doctor knew what was going on, I can't say; but this
matter is certain, that every evening Hayes was now in the rectory
kitchen, or else walking abroad with Mrs. Catherine: and whether
she ran away with him, or he with her, I shall not make it my
business to inquire; but certainly at the end of three months (which
must be crowded up into this one little sentence), another elopement
took place in the village. "I should have prevented it, certainly,"
said Doctor Dobbs--whereat his wife smiled; "but the young people
kept the matter a secret from me." And so he would, had he known
it; but though Mrs. Dobbs had made several attempts to acquaint him
with the precise hour and method of the intended elopement, he
peremptorily ordered her to hold her tongue. The fact is, that the
matter had been discussed by the rector's lady many times. "Young
Hayes," would she say "has a pretty little fortune and trade of his
own; he is an only son, and may marry as he likes; and, though not
specially handsome, generous, or amiable, has an undeniable love for
Cat (who, you know, must not be particular), and the sooner she
marries him, I think, the better. They can't be married at our
church you know, and--" "Well," said the Doctor, "if they are
married elsewhere, I can't help it, and know nothing about it, look
you." And upon this hint the elopement took place: which, indeed,
was peaceably performed early one Sunday morning about a month
after; Mrs. Hall getting behind Mr. Hayes on a pillion, and all the
children of the parsonage giggling behind the window-blinds to see
the pair go off.
During this month Mr. Hayes had caused the banns to be published at
the town of Worcester; judging rightly that in a great town they
would cause no such remark as in a solitary village, and thither he
conducted his lady. O ill-starred John Hayes! whither do the dark
Fates lead you? O foolish Doctor Dobbs, to forget that young people
ought to honour their parents, and to yield to silly Mrs. Dobbs's
ardent propensity for making matches!
* * *
The London Gazette of the 1st April, 1706, contains a proclamation
by the Queen for putting into execution an Act of Parliament for the
encouragement and increase of seamen, and for the better and
speedier manning of Her Majesty's fleet, which authorises all
justices to issue warrants to constables, petty constables,
headboroughs, and tything-men, to enter and, if need be, to break
open the doors of any houses where they shall believe deserting
seamen to be; and for the further increase and encouragement of the
navy, to take able-bodied landsmen when seamen fail. This Act,
which occupies four columns of the Gazette, and another of similar
length and meaning for pressing men into the army, need not be
quoted at length here; but caused a mighty stir throughout the
kingdom at the time when it was in force.
As one has seen or heard, after the march of a great army, a number
of rogues and loose charact
ers bring up the rear; in like manner, at
the tail of a great measure of State, follow many roguish personal
interests, which are protected by the main body. The great measure
of Reform, for instance, carried along with it much private jobbing
and swindling--as could be shown were we not inclined to deal mildly
with the Whigs; and this Enlistment Act, which, in order to maintain
the British glories in Flanders, dealt most cruelly with the British
people in England (it is not the first time that a man has been
pinched at home to make a fine appearance abroad), created a great
company of rascals and informers throughout the land, who lived upon
it; or upon extortion from those who were subject to it, or not
being subject to it were frightened into the belief that they were.
When Mr. Hayes and his lady had gone through the marriage ceremony
at Worcester, the former, concluding that at such a place lodging
and food might be procured at a cheaper rate, looked about carefully
for the meanest public-house in the town, where he might deposit his
bride.
In the kitchen of this inn, a party of men were drinking; and, as
Mrs. Hayes declined, with a proper sense of her superiority, to eat
in company with such low fellows, the landlady showed her and her
husband to an inner apartment, where they might be served in
private.
The kitchen party seemed, indeed, not such as a lady would choose to
join. There was one huge lanky fellow, that looked like a soldier,
and had a halberd; another was habited in a sailor's costume, with a
fascinating patch over one eye; and a third, who seemed the leader
of the gang, was a stout man in a sailor's frock and a horseman's
jack-boots, whom one might fancy, if he were anything, to be a
horse-marine.
Of one of these worthies, Mrs. Hayes thought she knew the figure and
voice; and she found her conjectures were true, when, all of sudden,
three people, without "With your leave," or "By your leave," burst
into the room, into which she and her spouse had retired. At their
head was no other than her old friend, Mr. Peter Brock; he had his
sword drawn, and his finger to his lips, enjoining silence, as it
were, to Mrs. Catherine. He with the patch on his eye seized
incontinently on Mr. Hayes; the tall man with the halberd kept the
door; two or three heroes supported the one-eyed man; who, with a
loud voice, exclaimed, "Down with your arms--no resistance! you are
my prisoner, in the Queen's name!"
And here, at this lock, we shall leave the whole company until the
next chapter; which may possibly explain what they were.
CHAPTER V. CONTAINS MR. BROCK'S AUTOBIOGRAPHY, AND OTHER MATTERS.
"You don't sure believe these men?" said Mrs. Hayes, as soon as the
first alarm caused by the irruption of Mr. Brock and his companions
had subsided. "These are no magistrate's men: it is but a trick to
rob you of your money, John."
"I will never give up a farthing of it!" screamed Hayes.
"Yonder fellow," continued Mrs. Catherine, "I know, for all his
drawn sword and fierce looks; his name is---"
"Wood, madam, at your service!" said Mr. Brock. "I am follower to
Mr. Justice Gobble, of this town: a'n't I, Tim?" said Mr. Brock to
the tall halberdman who was keeping the door.
"Yes indeed," said Tim, archly; "we're all followers of his honour
Justice Gobble."
"Certainly!" said the one-eyed man.
"Of course!" cried the man in the nightcap.
"I suppose, madam, you're satisfied NOW?" continued Mr. Brock, alias
Wood. "You can't deny the testimony of gentlemen like these; and
our commission is to apprehend all able-bodied male persons who can
give no good account of themselves, and enrol them in the service of
Her Majesty. Look at this Mr. Hayes" (who stood trembling in his
shoes). "Can there be a bolder, properer, straighter gentleman?
We'll have him for a grenadier before the day's over!"
"Take heart, John--don't be frightened. Psha! I tell you I know the
man" cried out Mrs. Hayes: "he is only here to extort money."
"Oh, for that matter, I DO think I recollect the lady. Let me see;
where was it? At Birmingham, I think,--ay, at Birmingham,--about
the time when they tried to murder Count Gal--"
"Oh, sir!" here cried Madam Hayes, dropping her voice at once from a
tone of scorn to one of gentlest entreaty, "what is it you want with
my husband? I know not, indeed, if ever I saw you before. For what
do you seize him? How much will you take to release him, and let us
go? Name the sum; he is rich, and--"
"RICH, Catherine!" cried Hayes. "Rich!--O heavens! Sir, I have
nothing but my hands to support me: I am a poor carpenter, sir,
working under my father!"
"He can give twenty guineas to be free; I know he can!" said Mrs.
Cat.
"I have but a guinea to carry me home," sighed out Hayes.
"But you have twenty at home, John," said his wife. "Give these
brave gentlemen a writing to your mother, and she will pay; and you
will let us free then, gentlemen--won't you?"
"When the money's paid, yes," said the leader, Mr. Brock.
"Oh, in course," echoed the tall man with the halberd. "What's a
thrifling detintion, my dear?" continued he, addressing Hayes.
"We'll amuse you in your absence, and drink to the health of your
pretty wife here."
This promise, to do the halberdier justice, he fulfilled. He called
upon the landlady to produce the desired liquor; and when Mr. Hayes
flung himself at that lady's feet, demanding succour from her, and
asking whether there was no law in the land--
"There's no law at the 'Three Rooks' except THIS!" said Mr. Brock in
reply, holding up a horse-pistol. To which the hostess, grinning,
assented, and silently went her way.
After some further solicitations, John Hayes drew out the necessary
letter to his father, stating that he was pressed, and would not be
set free under a sum of twenty guineas; and that it would be of no
use to detain the bearer of the letter, inasmuch as the gentlemen
who had possession of him vowed that they would murder him should
any harm befall their comrade. As a further proof of the
authenticity of the letter, a token was added: a ring that Hayes
wore, and that his mother had given him.
The missives were, after some consultation, entrusted to the care of
the tall halberdier, who seemed to rank as second in command of the
forces that marched under Corporal Brock. This gentleman was called
indifferently Ensign, Mr., or even Captain Macshane; his intimates
occasionally in sport called him Nosey, from the prominence of that
feature in his countenance; or Spindleshins, for the very reason
which brought on the first Edward a similar nickname. Mr. Macshane
then quitted Worcester, mounted on Hayes's horse; leaving all
parties at the "Three Rooks" not a little anxious for his return.
This was not to be expected until the next morning; and a weary nuit
de noces did Mr. Hayes pass. Dinner was served,
and, according to
promise, Mr. Brock and his two friends enjoyed the meal along with
the bride and bridegroom. Punch followed, and this was taken in
company; then came supper. Mr. Brock alone partook of this, the
other two gentlemen preferring the society of their pipes and the
landlady in the kitchen.
"It is a sorry entertainment, I confess," said the ex-corporal, "and
a dismal way for a gentleman to spend his bridal night; but somebody
must stay with you, my dears: for who knows but you might take a
fancy to scream out of window, and then there would be murder, and
the deuce and all to pay. One of us must stay, and my friends love
a pipe, so you must put up with my company until they can relieve
guard."
The reader will not, of course, expect that three people who were to
pass the night, however unwillingly, together in an inn-room, should
sit there dumb and moody, and without any personal communication; on
the contrary, Mr. Brock, as an old soldier, entertained his
prisoners with the utmost courtesy, and did all that lay in his
power, by the help of liquor and conversation, to render their
durance tolerable. On the bridegroom his attentions were a good
deal thrown away: Mr. Hayes consented to drink copiously, but could
not be made to talk much; and, in fact, the fright of the seizure,
the fate hanging over him should his parents refuse a ransom, and
the tremendous outlay of money which would take place should they
accede to it, weighed altogether on his mind so much as utterly to
unman it.
As for Mrs. Cat, I don't think she was at all sorry in her heart to
see the old Corporal: for he had been a friend of old times--dear
times to her; she had had from him, too, and felt for him, not a
little kindness; and there was really a very tender, innocent
friendship subsisting between this pair of rascals, who relished
much a night's conversation together.
The Corporal, after treating his prisoners to punch in great
quantities, proposed the amusement of cards: over which Mr. Hayes
had not been occupied more than an hour, when he found himself so
excessively sleepy as to be persuaded to fling himself down on the
bed dressed as he was, and there to snore away until morning.
Mrs. Catherine had no inclination for sleep; and the Corporal,
equally wakeful, plied incessantly the bottle, and held with her a
great deal of conversation. The sleep, which was equivalent to the
absence, of John Hayes took all restraint from their talk. She
explained to Brock the circumstances of her marriage, which we have
already described; they wondered at the chance which had brought
them together at the "Three Rooks;" nor did Brock at all hesitate to
tell her at once that his calling was quite illegal, and that his
intention was simply to extort money. The worthy Corporal had not
the slightest shame regarding his own profession, and cut many jokes
with Mrs. Cat about her late one; her attempt to murder the Count,
and her future prospects as a wife.
And here, having brought him upon the scene again, we may as well
shortly narrate some of the principal circumstances which befell him
after his sudden departure from Birmingham; and which he narrated
with much candour to Mrs. Catherine.
He rode the Captain's horse to Oxford (having exchanged his military
dress for a civil costume on the road), and at Oxford he disposed of
"George of Denmark," a great bargain, to one of the heads of
colleges. As soon as Mr. Brock, who took on himself the style and
title of Captain Wood, had sufficiently examined the curiosities of
the University, he proceeded at once to the capital: the only place
for a gentleman of his fortune and figure.
Here he read, with a great deal of philosophical indifference, in
the Daily Post, the Courant, the Observator, the Gazette, and the
chief journals of those days, which he made a point of examining at