She looks over her shoulder at the door, I assume trying to decide if she should tell me what she knows. "When Dr. Moss comes in, let's pretend we didn't have this conversation. I snuck into the exam room with the ruse of needing some paperwork signed. She had x-rays on her arm and leg. Last I heard, they had set and stabilized both and will cast them when the swelling subsides. She's going to be okay."
"Jesus," I pray. "Anything else? Extent of her other injuries?" My eyes wildly scan her face and my heart pounds rapidly. Goddamn it, I need to get to her.
"I'm sorry," she says and stands. "It shouldn't be much longer."
"Her family is coming. Should I be somewhere else so that they can get to me?"
She nods. "Let's go out to the waiting area. There's a separate room for family that we can have you settle in. They will be able to find you there."
It takes me a second to get everything settled with my leg. The pain is better now that I had the time to get off it. Not a hundred percent, but an immense improvement.
My new 'holding area' isn't small, but once everyone arrives, it will be. I walk over to the windows, stuffing my hands into my pockets, and try to reason with my mind. I feel the almost uncontrollable urge to start bulldozing my way through this building until I'm with her. My demons, now recognizing her for what she is--their blessing--are restless without her soothing soul.
It took me so fucking long. I stole years from her--from us--because I was too much of a pussy to take a chance. I still worry that I might unwillingly harm her, but I now believe that we need each other on a greater scale.
Regardless of my fears and concerns, the only way I might ever begin to heal is with her walking each step with me.
"Maddox?" I tense when Axel's hand touches my back. "You okay, brother?"
I'd love to punch him in the face, get some of this excess energy out, but I know he isn't asking the ludicrous question for shits and giggles.
"No," I tell him honestly. "But I will be when they let me back there."
"I understand. Here."
I turn and look down at the phone in his hand.
"Called your carrier and had your number transferred over, so if they call, it's all good."
"Appreciate it," I mumble. "Where's Izzy?"
"At home with Nate. She wanted to come with me, but Nate's sitter needed an hour to get there. Melissa is bringing the girls and Cohen over before she and Greg head this way. Everyone else should be here shortly."
I don't respond, choosing to rather turn towards the window and wait. It shouldn't be taking this fucking long.
An hour passes before the room is full of everyone who loves Emmy. All worried. Everyone silent. I'm sure they're afraid to speak at this point, and I honestly don't know what I would do if they did. I'm hanging by a thread that's been unraveling for hours.
My eyes close just before two small arms wrap around me. She doesn't speak--she doesn't need to--and she just offers me her strength. I'm fine until she starts to hum and I remember when our positions were switched and Izzy needed me to be her strength. Her lifeline when her world was crumbling around her. Before she and Axel finally got past their issues and came together again. Fought their demons and won.
Her heavy belly brushes against me when I shift and open my arms. She gives me a soft smile and moves her body closer. I take everything she's giving and look across the room where her husband is frowning. Even though I know he's worried just like the rest of us, that frown is because his woman is in my arms.
"Appreciate it, Iz, but maybe you should get back to your husband now?"
She looks over at her grumbling husband and rolls her eyes. "He'll get over it. You need me."
She doesn't let up. Not when Melissa walks over and joins. Not when Dee shuffles under my arm and burrows close to Izzy. And not even when Chelcie brings up the rear and wraps her arms around the three other girls. Each of them at one time was just as lost as I was. I've watched, helped, and cheered silently from the shadows as each of them overcame and thrived with one of my brothers.
Hope. Trust in the unknown. And love. It's been right in front of me for so long, but I've been too blind to see it.
I close my eyes and let my guard down. Then I take the masks and shields I've used as tools to keep others out and throw them away. With a deep shudder, my breath catching and my arms tightening around the each of the women in my life who have loved every dark piece of me, I allow myself to break.
Their arms get tighter, and together, they help me hold myself up. Help me let it out without judgment and give me the time I need to express my pain.
I open my eyes, the wetness falling from my lids and rolling down my cheeks. When I meet each of my brothers' eyes, I see their understanding and support trained my way. All four of them give me a tip of their chins and turn their attention back to each other--allowing me this moment.
Thirty minutes later, the women back next to their husbands--and since Sway walked in during the tail end of their hugs, I just detached him from my body seconds before--the doctor comes into the room.
"The family of Ms. Keeze?" he asks the room.
I move quickly and stand before him. "Maddox. Husband," I say in way of greeting.
He scans the room before addressing me again. "Is there somewhere we can speak privately?"
"This is her family, Doctor, so anything you need to tell me can be said right here."
"Very well. Your wife is resting as comfortably as possible at the moment. X-rays show that she has a fracture to her ulna, and although it's stabilized, the swelling is too great for her to be placed in a cast at the moment. She has also has a transverse tibia fracture. The swelling issue is also present. Both will be placed in a cast as soon as possible. Her throat will be sore for a few days. There isn't any internal damage. However, she was complaining about the pain. I placed two stitches to the laceration on her temple. All things considered, your wife is a very lucky woman."
My mind is racing to make sense of her injuries. I understand, at some level, what he is trying to say to me, but I can't compute it until I see her.
"Do you have any questions for me?"
"I need to see her."
"She's just being moved to her room now. How about we take a walk and we can go over those questions."
I nod and mutely follow behind. He goes over her injuries in more detail and tells me that she will need to be admitted for observation and hopefully her swelling will be down enough for her cast to be placed by morning.
"I understand that you rode in with her, but it's been a few hours and her bruising had gotten a little worse. Be prepared, Mr. Keeze--she isn't going to look like the woman you brought in here. The bruising will fade. The bones will heal. She's alive."
He gives me a moment. I slow my breathing and will my heart to calm before it beats out of my chest. With a shaking hand, I push open her door and step into the room. When I see her battered face for the first time, a deep rumble bursts through my chest. I push it down and focus on being there for her. Hesitantly, I walk forward. Then I take the chair placed on her right side and reach out for her slim hand. Feeling the warmth against my skin is the green light my soul has been waiting for.
I drop my head to the bed, next to her hip, and press my lips to her fingers.
The bed shakes with my heaving breaths. I let it all out, prepared to stuff my pain back inside when she wakes and be the strength she now needs.
"I love you," I whisper hoarsely against her skin, closing my eyes tight and vowing to God for the first time in too many years to be the man she deserves.
Chapter 24--Emmy
I don't want to move. I keep my eyes closed long after I heard him whisper those three words, their meaning filling my body, effortlessly picking up the pieces of my heart, which I thought would be forever broken.
Turning my head and ignoring the soreness in my neck, I open my eyes. The lighting in the hospital room causes me to blink a few times, the tint on the windows keepi
ng the sunlight from being to harsh, but my dry eyes take a few moments to adjust. My body hurts, but the majority of my pain is coming from my arm and my leg. I know from before the doctor brought me in here that I broke both my left arm and leg. Other than some other minor injuries, I'm fine--all things considered.
Having Maddox here is just the medicine I need. Well, that and the high dose of pain meds they pushed through my IV thirty minutes before. I'm sure my pain level would be quite different had I not gotten those.
Moving my eyes down to where I feel him against my side, I take in his hunched over form. His large frame is folded in the plastic chair, both tan hands wrapped around my much paler one, his head lying against the mattress so that his mouth is resting next to my fingers. His eyes are closed, and if it weren't for the wet tear streaks falling down his cheeks, I wouldn't even think he was awake. Even though he's hurting, he's more at peace in this moment that I've ever seen him.
"Hey," I mumble. My voice is deeper and rougher than normal.
When he hears me speak, he jerks up in his seat--eyes wide and hopeful. "God..."
He doesn't say anything else, so I give him a small smile, trying to let him know that I'm okay.
"Do you need the nurse?"
I shake my head.
"Water?" His brow crinkles, and if he weren't still holding my hand in a death grip, I would run my fingers over them.
Again, I shake my head, causing his frown to deepen.
"Bathroom?"
"Stop, Mad. I'm good. I have everything I need right here next to me," I sigh. It takes me a little while to get the words out--my throat rawer than I thought. "I just need you."
His expression changes--his face going soft as his eyes heat. It's an expression I've never seen from him but always dreamt of.
"I was coming back to you, Em."
"I know." I smile and pull my hand from his grip.
His eyes go wide until he notices that my intent isn't to pull away.
I reach out weakly and run my fingertips along his stubbled cheek. "I like this."
"Do you?" His lips twitch, and I feel the mood lighten.
"I do." I run my fingers along his jaw a few more times before I cup his cheek in my palm, looking deep into his eyes before speaking. "I love you too," I whisper.
He jumps in his seat. Not much though, and if I hadn't been studying his reaction, I would have missed it. His eyes search mine for a few beats, the uncertainty clear as day. I give him the time he needs, preparing myself for if he rejects me. This is, in a sense, our moment of truth. His jaw ticks and his deep breathing fills the silence.
I watch his emotions fighting for control, each one playing out in a fascinating display. The fear. Struggle to believe. And the hope that he can. Them, finally, I see them all clear and the acceptance and love take over.
"My sweet angel," he finally says on a sob.
I watch his face as he crumbles and the tears start to slowly fall. "Come here," I beg.
He looks at me, lying in a bed that is too narrow for him to join, and appears confused, those tears still falling. I silently signal for him to move forward and he scoots a few inches towards me on his chair. I motion for him to lean over and he does, his face hovering just over the bed. I run my hand from his arm, up his shoulder, then around his neck. His eyes close when my skin makes contact with his, and I pull him towards me until his face is just inches from my own. Two of his hot tears fall and land on my cheeks. His eyes instantly drop to them and watch them fall to the bed.
"Kiss me." My request brings his eyes--and their heat--back to mine.
When his lips touch mine, I sigh and he takes that in. There isn't anything sexual about this kiss. This is us becoming one--and it's every bit as beautiful as I knew it would be.
Two officers come by and take my statement. The whole time, Maddox fumes and growls, and by the time they leave, I'm exhausted. I sleep through our friends checking on me. Then I sleep through lunch and dinner. The doctor comes back early in the evening and takes me to have my casts put on. At this point, I've had enough pain meds flowing through my system that, even though it hurts like a bitch to just move from room to room, I am able to take it.
When we make it back to my room, Maddox is pacing in tight rotations. His hands are clasped behind his neck as his worry fills the room. I know he's having a hard time processing everything that happened, but I don't want him to feel this way. He isn't responsible for what happened--even if a part of me is concerned that he will feel just that.
His eyes snap to the doorway when he hears me and he stands there, giving them space before he's back at my side again.
"You need to get some sleep," I remind him--something I've been saying for the last few hours.
"I'm good."
"And I'm not going anywhere."
Since I'm unwilling to back down and sure that it's written all over my face, he gives me a tight nod.
The nurse comes in a moment later and checks my vitals before going over my pain and thankfully giving me another dose. My eyes start to get heavy shortly after she leaves the room. The dim lighting, now that the sun has gone down, does nothing to help me stay awake.
"Promise me you'll sleep?" I slur.
"Sure, angel."
I try to say something else. Maybe beg him. But my eyes win and I'm fast asleep seconds later.
**
The next morning, I'm in a foul mood. Maddox is pushing himself on empty. He won't sleep. His eyes never leave wherever I am. I forced him to eat breakfast this morning, all but shoving it in his mouth myself. His scowl is scaring the staff and I'm about to snap.
"Did the officers tell you what happen with...him?" I ask after the doctor leaves the room with the promise that discharge paperwork should be done within the hour.
"Yeah. He's locked the fuck up," he snaps.
"Chill your attitude, Maddox Locke. Don't make me spank the sass right out of you."
His eyes widen slightly just a brief second before he throws his head back and his laughter bellows through the room. I smile at the sound and enjoy this carefree version of him. Until he stops and hits me with his narrowed eyes--hard and serious. He moves closer, careful not to jar the bed, but places both hands on either side of my body and leans in.
"Make no mistake, Emmy. Once I get you home and healed, I'll be spanking that ass until it's bright pink and you're begging for me to make you come. Then I'm going to eat you until you're screaming for me to let you come. When you think you can't take a second more of just the mere thought of the pleasure that I'm going to give you, only then will I think about giving that to you, but it will most definitely be after I spank the sass out of you."
He leans back, his ass hitting the chair and his arms crossing over his powerful chest. I gulp. I have nothing for that. No smartass comeback and no witty reply. Absolutely nothing.
"Jesus Christ, you two could make a nun come."
My eyes widen in shock and Maddox just shakes his head, a small smile dancing across his lips. I can't look--knowing that our moment wasn't just for us is pretty freaking embarrassing.
"Cat got your tongue, Em?" Dee laughs.
I turn and watch her push her way past Axel with a shove, followed by a laughing Izzy.
"It was pretty damn hot, girlfriend." Izzy laughs, looking over at Maddox with a wink before throwing her hand up.
He acts like he's annoyed, but I can see the happiness in his eyes. He shuffles to his feet and slaps his hand against hers.
"How are you feeling?" Beck asks, walking into the room and pulling Dee into his chest.
"Pretty good. Sore, but the pain meds are way too good for me to complain." My joke falls short and they all look at me. "What? Do you want me to break in half and cry? I fought because I had a reason to," I snap, looking over at Maddox. "I'm not going to let those jerks have one second of my thoughts. I'm a fighter. A survivor. And you will all do damn well to remember it."
"Well, hell yeah, chick!" Dee yells,
earning her a stern look from Beck. "What? You all should know better than to think that our little Emmy wouldn't bounce back."
"There's bouncing back and there is denial," Melissa says sharply from the door.
I can see Greg standing right behind her, his eyes scanning my body from head to toe--his frown matching the ones the others are wearing.
"Would you guys stop? I made a promise to myself a while ago that I wouldn't live in the past. The past I can't control, but the future is all mine. I'm choosing to let this make me a stronger person--to not let it win in any way. One step forward, right, Axel?"
The meaning of my words sinks in and his handsome face breaks out in a huge grin. "Yeah, Em... One step forward and never back. I get you."
"Well I don't get her. What the hell are you two talking about?" Dee snaps.
"Clearly someone didn't get their coffee this morning," Izzy mutters under her breath.
"Or maybe someone is hormonal and doesn't understand when her friends speak in some code!" Her eyes go wide and she slaps her hand over her mouth.
All of our eyes go from her to Beck, who is just standing there with one proud-ass grin on his face.
"Well...okay then," Izzy says, hiding her shock. "When did you find out?"
"A few weeks ago. We just haven't had a chance to say anything. Clearly my big mouth doesn't understand that this isn't a good time."
"Oh shut up. This is a great time." Did I really just say that?
"Really? You laid up in the hospital is a great time?" she snaps, folding her arms over her chest.
"You want to pick a fight with me over this? I'm the one in the bed, which means everything I say goes."
"That makes no sense, Em. How much of those drugs do they have you on?" She moves forward and pokes my IV bag.
"That's not the pain meds, you window licker," Melissa huffs. She walks farther into the room and moves to my right side. The side that Maddox hasn't left since last night. Then she stands next to him and waits. When it becomes clear that he isn't moving, she actually shoos him. Reaches her hand up and waves him off. "Seriously, you overgrown ape. Move so I can see to my girl."
"Not your girl, Melissa. Remember that. I'll give you a second with my girl, but only a second." He backs up slightly, giving her just enough room to move in and give me a hug. Well, kind of a hug. More like a pat on my shoulder and a pressing of her cheek against mine.