She grabbed hold of his hand and tried to make him stop.
“It hurts more than I thought it would. We should stop, Harrison. Oh, God, I don’t want to stop. I ...”
His mouth ended her protest. He held her close and ravished her with his searing kisses and his hot words of passion.
He made her restless for more in little time at all, and her worry about pain was soon forgotten.
She was shaking with her need to mate with him when he at last ended the kiss and began to nibble on the side of her neck. His breath was hot against her ear as he whispered erotic, arousing promises of what he wanted to do to her.
And then he moved lower still and began to kiss her breasts, then her stomach, and when he moved once again, and he was kissing the very heat of her, she let out a low gasp and tried to make him stop.
He wouldn’t stop, for he found the taste of her against his mouth too wonderful to pull away just yet. His tongue caressed the folds of her smooth flesh and pushed up into the warm, welcoming opening.
She clung to him and begged him with her soft moans to give her more and more and more. Her nails dug into his shoulders, and when she felt the first tremors of her own orgasm, she cried out his name and began to weep with the sheer intensity of the shattering splendor.
He felt her come apart against him and knew he couldn’t wait any longer. He would go out of his mind if he didn’t move inside her. He shifted positions again so that he was once again kneeling between her thighs. He lifted her up and then sank deep inside her with one hard surge.
Pain blended with fulfillment. The pressure he’d so skillfully built inside her seemed to splinter into a thousand fragments. She surrendered to the bliss, for she was safe and protected in the arms of the man she loved.
He found his fulfillment less than a minute later. He let out a shout of raw pleasure as he poured his seed into her. He’d wanted to hold back, to let her climax a second time, to come when he did, but all his grand plans were forgotten when he was inside her and her tight walls were squeezing him. She throbbed all around him and his control was lost. Each time he pulled back, she arched up against him, urging him toward fulfillment. She drew her knees up so that he could sink even deeper inside, and, God help him, he couldn’t stave off his orgasm then.
He heard himself chanting he loved her, over and over and over again, and somewhere in the back of his mind he realized she was weeping. He hoped to God he wasn’t hurting her, but once he’d given her his seed, he still couldn’t make himself move away from her.
He stayed embedded inside her and dropped his head down in the crook of her neck.
Reality was slow to return but when it did, he was filled with concern. He’d acted like a barbarian. Had he hurt her again?
“Are you all right?” she whispered.
He tried to make sense out of her question.
“Harrison, please breathe. You’re beginning to worry me.”
She squirmed under him. “Dear God, have I killed you then?”
He burst into laughter. He didn’t know where the energy had come from. His pleasure made him too lethargic to move, and he could still barely form a coherent thought.
“Are you all right? I was afraid I’d hurt you,” Harrison said.
She shivered over the husky sound in his voice. Heaven help her, he could be reading the newspaper out loud and she’d become aroused, she thought to herself. It was his brogue of course. It was the most sensual sound she’d ever heard.
“I’m still alive,” she whispered. “Tell me you love me again.”
“I love you.”
“That will help . . . if and when,” she whispered.
He forced himself to move. He rolled to his side and pulled her into his arms.
“If and when what, baby?”
“If I’m pregnant and when you leave.”
She thought he would try to ease her worry. He didn’t though. “I hope to God you are. I want at least twenty children.”
“Heaven help me,” she whispered.
His hand moved to her stomach. It was a possessive action and one that sent shivers down her legs.
“You’ll be a very beautiful mother.”
“I’ll be fat.”
“I like fat.”
“Don’t leave.”
“I have to leave. You’ll come to me, sweetheart. We won’t be apart long.”
“What if something happens and I can’t join you?”
“I said before I’ll come back here and get you.”
“And then?”
“I’ll drag you to England if I have to,” he promised. “Dooley told me Judge Burns is on his way to Blue Belle. He’s escorting Belle back home. It seems he’s smitten with her.”
“Smitten?”
“Dooley’s words, not mine,” he explained with a yawn. “I think maybe we should make it official before I leave. Want to get married tomorrow, sweetheart?”
“I would rather wait and be married by a preacher or a priest or a rabbi. It doesn’t seem very romantic to be married by a hanging judge.”
“I don’t want to wait.”
“Are you worried I’ll change my mind while you’re away?”
“It’s too late for you to change your mind. You made your commitment to me when you walked through the doorway last night. Why did you go back to your room after we made love?”
“Because of my brothers.” She trailed her fingers down his chest. “I don’t wish to do anything further to disgrace them.”
“Further disgrace them?”
He hadn’t meant to raise his voice, but her words so infuriated him, he couldn’t control his reaction. “Is that how you feel, damn it? Do you think you disgraced yourself by sleeping with me?”
She tried to calm him. “Please understand, Harrison. I know it isn’t possible to marry now, but we aren’t truly married yet, and I must consider my brothers’ feelings. If they’d found us in bed together, their hearts would have been broken.”
He didn’t understand. Before she had time to blink, he’d gotten out of bed and was reaching for his pants.
“Get dressed.”
He gave the command in a hard, don’t-give-me-any-argument tone of voice. She ignored it. “Come back to bed. Let me try to explain so you . . .”
“Get dressed, Mary Rose, or I swear to God I’ll carry you back to the house in a blanket. Do you want your brothers to see you . . .”
He didn’t have to go on. She jumped out of the bed and started to get dressed.
He was ready before she was. He helped her put on her blouse and thoughtfully handed her her skirt.
“Will you please explain why you’re in such a hurry?” she asked.
She believed her question was reasonable. He acted as though she’d just shouted an insult at him, however.
“The word disgrace doesn’t sit well with me,” he snapped. “We’re going to have a little talk with your brothers. Hurry up, damn it.”
She turned to find her shoes. She noticed the sheets on his bed then and let out a loud gasp. Even from across the room she could see the splattering of blood.
Her face turned crimson in less than a heartbeat. She forgot all about finding her shoes then and ran over to strip the sheets.
He stood with his hands on his hips and a look on his face that told her he thought she’d lost her mind.
“You made me bleed.”
“You were supposed to bleed.”
“You don’t have to sound so callous about it. What if my brothers had come in here? They would have shot you before they listened to any explanation.”
“They knew what my intentions were. Leave the damned sheets alone, Mary Rose. I want to talk to Adam before he goes to bed.”
She wadded the sheets up into a ball and turned around to frown at Harrison.
“We are not going to talk to Adam. I’m going home alone. If you think you’re going to tell my brother what we just did, you can just forget it. I will not be embarrassed
or humiliated, Harrison. Do you understand me?”
She dropped the sheets on the floor, then put on her shoes. She couldn’t believe the evening was ending this way. Harrison had been such a thoughtful, gentle lover. Now he was acting like an arrogant brute. She didn’t know what had come over him, but she wasn’t in the mood to placate him. The mere thought of letting Adam know she’d given herself to Harrison made her stomach lurch. She wouldn’t allow anyone to shame her that way, not even the horrid man she loved.
She tried to walk past him. He grabbed hold of her hand and wouldn’t let go. Then he dragged her after him, all the way across the yard, up the stairs, and into the house.
They passed Cole in the entryway. The brother gave Mary Rose a double glance, then said, “What the hell happened to you?”
He was staring at her hair. She used her free hand to try to calm the curls.
“Nothing happened,” she called out when Harrison pulled her along.
He didn’t knock on the library door. He threw it open and gently shoved Mary Rose inside. He stood right behind her, and when she tried to back away, she found his solid frame blocking her retreat.
Adam was startled by the interruption. He closed the book he’d been reading and started to stand up.
Harrison told him to stay seated. While Adam watched, Mary Rose was prodded to the other easy chair and told to sit down.
She shook her head. “This is outrageous, Harrison,” she whispered. “If you say one word, I swear I’ll do something horrible.”
He draped his arm around her shoulders and kept his gaze on her brother.
“Adam, Mary Rose and I need to get married as soon as possible. Judge Burns should be in Blue Belle tomorrow. I think we should all ride into town and . . .”
“I will not be married by a hanging judge. It goes against my principles,” she interjected.
“Harrison, close the door,” Adam suggested. “And both of you please lower your voices. What’s all this talk about needing to get married?”
“Harrison’s having a spell,” Mary Rose announced. She folded her arms across her chest and stared over Adam’s shoulder. She couldn’t quite bring herself to look into his eyes. “Don’t pay any attention to anything he says. He just feels bad because he has to leave.”
His arm went around her shoulder again. It felt much heavier this time. She thought he was deliberately applying pressure so she’d quit talking.
She tried to ignore him. “We seem to have gotten into an argument. We should work it out together and not involve you, Adam. Do excuse us now.”
It was a very proper dismissal, but it was thoroughly ruined because Harrison wouldn’t let her leave.
“Adam, I thought Mary Rose understood, but now I realize she didn’t. She seems to think she might have disgraced her brothers by sleeping with me. Since she feels that way, I suggest we get married with all possible haste. I’ll be damned if I’ll let her feel ashamed of what happened between us. I’ve given myself all the reasons why I should wait until after you’ve explained everything to her, but what I wanted to do lost out to what I did do, and hell, none of the timing matters to me now. I love her and she loves me.”
Adam nodded to let Harrison know he understood, but his gaze was centered on his little sister. She certainly didn’t look like a woman in love at the moment. In truth, she looked like she wanted to kill her intended groom.
“Judge Burns will be happy to perform the ceremony tomorrow.”
“Adam, I don’t . . .”
“Do you feel disgraced, Mary Rose?”
She closed her mouth. She knew if she answered yes she’d be married tomorrow, and if she answered no, she’d be lying to her brother.
“She told me she wished she could be as cosmopolitan as I am,” Harrison remarked. “I didn’t realize what she meant until a few minutes ago. Should I go and get the judge tomorrow?”
“It would be nicer to have the wedding here on the ranch, and I do believe he would agree to come out here. Be sure to include Belle. She helped us with Mary Rose during her growing up years. She’ll want to see her married. I don’t believe you need to mention sleeping with your bride, however. The fact that you have to leave should be enough of a reason for the hurried ceremony.”
“I want her to come with me.”
“That’s up to her. She’ll have to decide after our talk.”
“I think maybe we ought to have that talk now.”
Cole made the announcement from the doorway. Travis was standing right behind him.
Mary Rose wished the floor would open up and swallow her whole. If they’d heard she’d slept with Harrison, she was sure she would die of mortification.
“One problem at a time.” Adam suggested. “What’s done is done. Tomorrow we’ll have a wedding. Are we agreed on that?”
Cole and Travis nodded. “It’s easy to get divorced out here,” Cole told his sister. “You can hold on to that thought during the ceremony.”
Harrison wasn’t amused by the brother’s dark humor. “It doesn’t work that way. Once married, always married. Got that, Mary Rose?”
She pushed his arm off her shoulder and turned around. “What kind of marriage proposal was that? Am I to translate ‘got that’ into, ‘Will you marry me?’ You do have a way with words, Harrison MacDonald; and if I didn’t love you so much, I do believe I’d shoot you. Good night.”
She did get the last word. No one stopped her when she marched out of the library. She ran up to her bedroom and didn’t start crying until she’d shut the door behind her.
Loving Harrison was becoming a pain in her backside. Shamed or not, she was not going to be married by a hanging judge. No sir, no way, she thought to herself, using one of Cole’s favorite nonsensical replies.
She felt better now that she had her mind set. She fell asleep with her brother’s words echoing in her mind.
No sir, no way.
August 18, 1869
Dear Mama Rose,
Travis, Douglas, Cole, and I were glad your letter to Adam was stern. None of us have ever heard you sound so angry, but your oldest son needed to hear you tell him to stay put. His crazy notion to take off for parts unknown so Livonia wouldn’t be able to keep on blackmailing you into staying with her was a foolhardy one, just like you said.
Cole keeps thinking there’s a way out of this mire, and he clearly doesn’t understand your compassion for Livonia. He wonders why you don’t hate her, but Adam says you don’t have it in you to hate anyone. Why won’t you let any of the rest of us come and see you? Livonia’s sons can’t hurt us, Mama.
I sure would like to hug you.
Your daughter, Mary Rose
16
She came armed to her own wedding. Judge Burns didn’t cotton to the notion of guns in his courtroom or his marriage parlor, and he therefore insisted she remove the six-shooter from her pocket. He would have frisked her if Adam would have allowed it.
The judge wasn’t an altogether unlikable man. He was young by a judge’s standards, or so Mary Rose believed, for he wasn’t quite fifty years old yet and had been a hanging judge for nearly fifteen years.
He cut a handsome figure. He was tall, only slightly stoop-shouldered from age, and had brilliant green eyes the condemned believed were the very color of Satan’s. The judge didn’t have horns though. He had a full head of dark auburn hair. He was given to an Irish temper and an English practicality.
He and Harrison got along quite well from the minute the two men met. Burns had distant relatives living outside of Canterbury, and so he felt he had something other than the law in common with Harrison.
The way the intended groom treated Belle softened the judge’s heart as well, for Harrison treated the woman with a deference reserved for statesmen. It wasn’t an act. Belle had helped in the raising of Mary Rose, and Harrison was therefore as beholden to her as the others were. He didn’t care what her occupation was. She had a good heart, and that was all that mattered to him. The olde
r woman’s love for Mary Rose was very evident, and when Belle was asked to stand up as a bridesmaid and witness, she burst into tears.
Belle was dressed in blue. Judge Burns told Harrison he’d never seen her in any other color in all the years he’d known her. Why, even her lacy undergarments were blue, he whispered to Harrison while they waited for Mary Rose to join them.
Belle had gone upstairs to help the bride. Her advanced age and her occupation hadn’t hardened her features. She was very pretty, with gray-tinged brown hair and warm brown eyes. And when she came back into the parlor with Mary Rose on her arm, the town’s pride and joy looked more radiant than the bride.
Mary Rose looked miserable. And beautiful, Harrison thought to himself.
“Eleanor won’t be joining us, I’m sorry to say,” Adam explained. “She’s still burning with fever, though Douglas assures me she’s improved somewhat today.”
“Belle, can you play at the piano?” the judge asked.
“No, honey, I can’t,” she answered.
“I’ll play,” Mary Rose suggested.
“Now, that don’t make no sense, child,” Belle told her with a laugh. “You’ve got to say your vows. John, why don’t you place us where you want us and get the wedding done. It’s warm in here. Boys, you line up behind your sister. Which one of you is giving her away?”
Belle handed Mary Rose a nosegay of wildflowers. Then she took hold of her hand and placed it on Harrison’s arm.
“We’re all giving her away,” Adam told the judge.
“Well, now, I reckon that’s all right.”
“Wait. Judge Burns, did you hang anyone this week?”
“Not that I recollect, Mary Rose.”
She let out a sigh. “All right then. Harrison, you still haven’t proposed. He didn’t, Judge. He just told me we were going to get married. He never asked.” Her voice sounded downright puny to her. She hoped no one noticed. The flowers were shaking in her hand too. She gripped them tighter and tried to act composed.