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Sam’s eyebrows lowered. “Alex, what the hell—”
“It’ll be fine. ” Alex glanced at me, then back at the others. “Let us have some privacy, okay? Take care, you guys. ”
The others left with backward glances. I gripped my arms, leaning against the truck as silence settled around us. “Alex, this is— I mean, I’m still trying to figure out what’s even going on here. ”
Alex stood motionless. Then he shook his head as if chasing a thought away. His voice was rough. “Yeah, I know. I’ll tell you everything later. I’d better get going now, though. ”
He stepped close and stroked my hair back with both hands – and though our kisses had meant many things before, this one was somehow different. I wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him back as hard as I could; then we just held each other, his head buried against my shoulder.
“Hey, I’ll be checking up on you,” I tried to joke as he finally pulled away. “I mean, like, every second. ”
His throat moved slightly. “I know,” he said. He gave a crooked smile and touched my cheek. Slowly, his fingers trailed down to my neck.
“You are my life, you know that?” he said in a low voice. “You always have been, from the second I met you. ”
He swung himself up into the truck before I could answer, not looking at me. “Get the elevator for me, will you?” he said. “I’ll be back as soon as I can. ”
But as I moved to press the button, I froze in place. For a second, I literally couldn’t make myself do it – it felt as if I’d be sending Alex to his doom.
I glanced back, drinking in his face, the beautiful shape of his mouth as he fiddled with the truck’s controls. It’s okay, I told myself. He said that he wouldn’t put himself in danger again without telling me. He promised.
I squared my shoulders…and pressed the button. As the elevator door slid open, Alex looked up and started the engine. “Be careful,” I said, lifting my voice over the noise of the truck.
He nodded, drove the 4 × 4 into the elevator, and then hooked his arm over the seat, twisting around to look back at me. Our eyes met and locked as the door slid shut, slowly slicing him from view.
It closed.
As the machinery rumbled, moving upwards, that feeling of dread swept over me again, stronger than before. But I had to trust that he knew what he was doing.
I looked up as Seb entered the garage, his hands shoved into his back pockets. “I, uh…heard the elevator,” he said. “Are you all right?”
“Yeah, I guess,” I said. I could sense Alex above, the garage door rising for him as the outside gate slid open. Another second, and he’d be gone.
Unable to help myself, I connected quickly with my angel. Spreading my ethereal wings, I shot up through the elevator shaft, bursting up out of the building like a swimmer emerging from water. There were still stars overheard, with the rosy tinge of dawn in the east.
Alex’s truck was making its way down the dirt road. From this height, it looked like a toy. I hovered as I watched the truck grow smaller, longing to fly after him but sensing the intensity of his purpose – and his grim conviction that he’d do whatever it took to come back to me again.
He turned onto the main road and the truck was devoured by darkness.
Seb was still standing beside my human form as my angel merged with me again. I stared at the empty space where Alex’s truck had been, feeling alone despite Seb’s presence.
“What do you want, Seb?” The words came out more sharply than I’d meant.
His face drained of expression. “Nothing. Forget it. ” He turned to leave. I could feel that he was worried about me – and Alex too, for that matter.
I sighed and followed, stopping him with a touch on his arm. “Look, I’m sorry. ” I leaned against the wall, rubbing my throbbing head. “It’s just…this has been a really weird night, okay?”
Seb gave a humourless smile as he propped himself next to me. “It’s funny – just a few hours ago, he was convincing me to stay. ”
“A few hours ago?” I stared at him. “What more do you know about this?”
Seb shook his head. “Only what he just told us. ”
Then his words registered. “Wait – why was he convincing you to stay? Were you leaving?”
He shrugged. “I might still. We’ll see. ”
I paused. “With Meghan?”
Seb nodded. And for some reason, this made what had just happened a little harder to bear. “I really like her,” I said finally. “I’m happy for you, Seb. I mean it. ”
The look he gave me was complicated – wry and vulnerable at the same time. “Yes, thank you,” he said, his tone formal. “I like her too. ”
Neither of us spoke for a few minutes. All I could think of was Alex, heading towards New Mexico and his father’s old camp with something locked deep inside of him. I let out a breath.
Oh god, Alex, please be safe.
BACK IN MY ROOM, GETTING a few more hours’ sleep was impossible – the feeling of unease was growing by the minute. Finally I grabbed my things and went to take a shower.
I was in the same cubicle Alex and I had used once when we’d snuck in here at two in the morning to take a shower together; I always used it now if it was free. The memory of the hot water pounding down on us as we’d kissed, laughing – of his body against mine, firm and warm and slippery with soap – usually made me smile.
This time it just made the fear even stronger.
I towelled myself off; my clothes clung to my still-damp body as I wiped steam from the mirror and started to comb out my hair. My worried face gazed back at me.
This is wrong. This feels so wrong. Suddenly my hands were trembling. Kara. What exactly had she told him, to make him take off like this?
With my hair still damp, I left the shower room and headed to the infirmary.
Kara was alone when I got there, asleep in one of the hospital beds. I silently drew up a chair, pity stirring in me at the sight of her battered face. I’d never liked Kara, but I wouldn’t have wished what she’d been through on anyone.
Her hand looked as thin as the rest of her. From what Alex had told me, I wasn’t even sure this would work. I hesitated – and then touched her hand, very lightly, her skin papery beneath my fingers.
I’d never tried to read someone who was asleep. It was a weird sensation. Images came through, but it was like experiencing them underwater. Kara, walking through city streets with her hands in her jacket pockets. Austin Eden, I thought dreamily. She was trying to look casual, but I could feel her apprehension; if they caught her, she’d never get out of this place. Then we seemed to fast-forward. She was in a sort of warehouse, packed with sick people on army cots.
I hardly recognized the man Alex and I had encountered in New Mexico, but could sense Kara’s sadness as she sat beside him. “Hey, Cull…you don’t look so hot. ”
“Alex,” he said urgently. “Have you seen him? I’ve done something – we’ve got to stop him—”
As I listened to what followed, my spirits fell. It was all so vague; I could sense Kara didn’t understand any of it either. Then my eyes flew open as her hand jerked away.