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I arrived at the Circus Center Wednesday afternoon, grateful to be somewhere I could burn off my anger. I tossed my backpack into a cubby with more force than necessary. It bounced out and landed on the floor. I picked it up and shoved it into place. Taking off my shoes, I shoved them into the cubby, then remembered I needed to change, so I yanked my backpack out, which knocked my shoes onto the floor. I tore open my bag and began to dig for my workout clothes. Once I found them, I shoved my bag back into the cubby and stomped off to the bathroom to change.
"Having a bad day?" Gavin asked. I could hear the smile in his voice as I shoved my bag, now full of school clothes, back into the cubby.
"Oh no, everything is peachy keen." I grabbed my shoes, dropped one, cursed, then shoved them next to my backpack.
"What happened?"
My eyes narrowed, I could tell Gavin was trying not to laugh. I was afraid if I turned and saw him I'd want to smack the smile off his face. It had been a craptastical day.
I moved to the floor and began to warm up, not looking at Gavin. "In history, Bruce Danbury decided to act like the moron we all know he is, and he got half the class riled up. Mr. Kaplan was so pissed he gave the whole class lunch detention! I didn't even do anything. I tried to talk to him, but he yelled at me."
I could feel my face heating up and my hands clenched into fists as my anger flared. "Then during lunch detention, some stupid seventh grader decided to start throwing food. I hid under the table, and the vice principal spent the next thirty minutes trying to figure out what happened, and refused to give anyone passes to class, so I now have a tardy and got a lecture in front of the whole class by Miss Patton."
I switched to stretching my arms and wrists since I had juggling class today. "And then stupid, slimy Kevin Brock slaps me on the ass and asks me if I want to go out on Friday! I mean really! First of all, when have I ever even looked at the jerk, and second, what girl would ever say yes to that! I never got noticed before my hair changed!"
"Wow," Gavin said barely toning down the mirth he felt. "That is a lot to happen in one day. I completely agree with you about the boy, maybe I should talk to him?"
I glared at Gavin through my bangs and started doing wrist circles.
"Okay, okay, maybe not. But Sara, I can't believe that the teachers punished you for no reason."
My stomach got tight and hot with anger.
"I mean are you sure you didn't do anything?"
"Excuse me?" I hissed glaring, at him. How dare he! Was I sure I didn't lie, and I didn't cause trouble! I don't even hang out with those stupid kids!
"Sara, calm down." Gavin sat down on the floor next to me. "Sara, your hands are on fire. You need to calm down. I'm sorry I didn't believe you."
Looking down, I wiggled my fingers, small orange flames surrounding them. I couldn't even be angry today, and I had every right to be angry! Hot tears ran down my face, which pissed me off even more. I wanted to scream and cry and apparently burn something, or someone, maybe Kevin Brock.
"Sara, I can't touch you when you're on fire. I can't help, and class starts in fifteen minutes. A lot of people will arrive soon. Please, honey, try to calm down." Gavin pleaded, his hands twitching in front of him. I could tell he wanted to soothe me, but his gift wasn't fire. Taking a deep breath, he held his hands over mine to hide the fire as best as he could without touching me.
I wanted to stay angry, but I needed to suck it up unless I wanted someone to call the fire department because I was on fire. With one last glare at Gavin, as he was the only one nearby, I closed my eyes and began to breathe. Breathe in to the count of five, hold to the count of five, exhale to the count of five, hold to the count of five. After three sets I could feel my body temperature cooling. A few more sets, and I unclenched my fire free hands.
"Good, Sara. I can tell you've been practicing the breathing. I'm glad that it's helping." Gavin fidgeted next to me.
I kept breathing to a count of five and slowly, I opened my eyes. I found that I kept calmer longer if I ended my breathing with my eyes open. I had no idea why; it just worked.
On the other end of the school I saw Anali. "Is Anali teaching yoga?"
"Um, yeah."
"I didn't know she taught yoga." I let go of my breath, allowing it to return to normal and turned to Gavin. I felt a little bad; he looked very worried.
"We both do." Gavin tilted his head to the side in confusion. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'll be all right. It was a really sucky day."
"I'm sorry if I made it worse." He looked down at his hands and flinched. The skin on his palms bright red and blistered.
"Gavin," I reached out but didn't touch him. Why had he held his hands so close to mine?
"It's fine, my gift is regeneration remember?" Closing his eyes, Gavin's breath deepened and I could feel the hum of Akashic magic. The skin on his hands darkened and then crumpled leaving a fine ashy powder. Gavin shook his hands and the skin under the ash looked healthy and fine.
"Does it hurt?" I asked looking at the newly healed skin.
"The healing hurts a bit, and it can get hot if I have to heal something big, but it feels better quickly enough."
"My class is starting, will you be all right?"
Gavin smiled. "I'm fine. The new skin needs some lotion, and I need to eat a little something. Go to class."
I bit my lip and walked over to Kayin, looking back at my uncle several times. I needed to be more careful.
I did much better in the first juggling class than I did in my first acrobatics class. It was fun and relaxed. Kayin did go through a few stretches for arms and wrists before beginning the juggling. I hadn't juggled at all since the camp, but what I learned came back to me quickly once I held the bean bags in my hands.
Kayin was warm and encouraging as he spent time with each of us, helping and guiding how we were throwing the bean bags.
"You're doing well," Kayin said as he came up to me. "Remember to throw to your hand, and not move to catch the ball, that will keep your movements smoother."
"Okay, thanks." I felt better listening to Kayin's rich voice.
Kayin smiled. His teeth flashed bright against his dark skin. "You're welcome. How have you been? I haven't seen you in weeks."
"Good. The adjustments have been hard. My powers are still out of control, but I'm working on it," I said while trying to continue throwing and catching. Unfortunately, I wasn't successful and the bean bags fell to the floor with a soft thud.
Kayin patted my shoulder. "Keep trying, you'll get the hang of it."
I finally managed to keep three balls in the air for several minutes when Kayin ended the class. "All right, everyone, put the juggling balls away, and we'll do some cool-down exercises before you go."
Turning, I looked at the clock, five already, the hour had gone by so quickly. I tossed the round, sand-filled balls into the basket. I needed to get a set of my own so I could practice at home.
"Kayin," I called once the rest of the students left.
"Yes, Sara?"
"I was hoping to buy some juggling balls, do you have any?"
"I think Philip has several kinds in the office. Did you want rubber ones or the bean-bag style like we use in class?" Kayin asked holding up one of his own. It was a round, sand-filled ball like the ones I used in class, but this one made from fabric with a bright geometric pattern.
"That is lovely. Are there more like the kind you have?" The ones used in class were red, blue or yellow.
Kayin smiled and tilted his head down a bit as if embarrassed. "No, I made these."
"Did you? Can I see them?" I asked excitedly.
Wordlessly, he handed me the three bean bags. They were perfect. All the same size and such great colors. Bright bold patterns of animal prints, geometric African prints, and pieces that looked as if the fabric had been painted with watercolors were patched together to make a lovely wild pattern.
"These are beautiful," I said giving t
hem back.
"I'd be happy to make some for you," Kayin offered.
"Are you sure? I don't want to be a bother."
"Yes, I'm sure. I enjoy making things. I do not like to be idle; I'm not used to it."
"I would love some. I brought money; let me get it," I said moving toward my bag.
Kayin touched my arm. "No, Little Sister, these will be a gift." His deep brown eyes let me know he wouldn't be swayed.
"Thank you.” Impulsively, I reached up and gave Kayin a hug.
"You are very welcome," he replied as he wrapped his arms around me.
"There is no greater gift than something made by hand. It doesn't matter if it's cookies, a poem, a painting made by a small child, or a knitted scarf, they are all precious. The care, thought, and time, which goes into something made by hand, can't be duplicated with money. I know it can be frightening to give a handmade gift, not knowing if the receiver will appreciate how much has gone into the gift. How much of yourself you are giving can make you feel vulnerable, but be brave, my darling, be strong and open. Once you find someone you care about, give something made of your time, your skill, and yourself."
Chapter Fifteen
"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength.
Loving someone deeply gives you courage."