“And your name is…”
“Christina.”
“Right. Christina.” He smiled at her.
She didn’t like this. It felt awkward. “What are you doing here?” she asked.
“I have an interview for a teaching position for next year.”
Why on earth would he want to teach at the school right across the street from where his parents died, from the hole in the ground that was once his house?
“What will you teach?”
“History, maybe a few classes of civics. Mrs. Rinaldi is leaving.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“She wants to move someplace that’s sunny year-round.”
“Who doesn’t?” She shouldn’t have said that, given the fact that he was here looking for a job. A job in Elizabeth, New Jersey. A job in Plane Crash City.
“What about you, Christina? Are you going someplace sunny after graduation?”
“I’m thinking about it.”
“Can I call you this summer? Would you go out with me?”
This was so embarrassing. And the second bell was ringing. She was going to be late for class. “I have a boyfriend.”
“Serious?”
“Yes,” she said, her voice so soft he had to lean in to hear her. What would he say if she told him she was married? “My sister just had her second baby—another boy. They named him Ajax, like the cleanser. They’re going to call him AJ. I’ll bet she tries for a girl next year.”
“Send her my regards. And to your parents, too. They were very kind after the accident.”
The accident. As if they’d fallen down the stairs.
“I saw it, you know. I was helping Mr. Durkee after school when the airplane…when it came right at us. We thought it was coming through the window of the classroom.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“And after, I was there, when the fires and the explosion…” She felt dizzy. She needed to put her head down. She dropped the books she was holding and, as she fell forward, he caught her. Held her in his arms.
“It must have been terrible to see that.”
“Yes.” But no one she loved died. She reminded herself to breathe. Breathe deeply, like when the doctor inserted the speculum. When she recovered she said, “I’m late for class.” She collected her books and started off down the hall.
He caught up to her. “Listen…in case you need someone to talk to, here’s my number.” He passed her a piece of paper.
She looked at it and nodded.
Miri
Henry found Miri, limp and exhausted, on the steps outside their house. She had no idea how long she’d been there, only that she was cried out, her chest so heavy she thought she might never get up. Some boy she didn’t know had come by on a bike and dumped her books on the front lawn but she made no move to get them. When Henry pulled up and got out of the car she fell into his arms. “I know…I know…” He held her. But he didn’t know. He couldn’t know. “Come on,” he said, “get in.” He opened the car door for her and she got inside.
“Where are we going?” she asked, as he started up the car and pulled away.
“How about down the shore? How does that sound?”
She loved the shore and he knew it.
He drove for an hour and a half, stopping once at a phone booth to call Irene to tell her where they were, and not to wait for them for supper.
When they got to Bradley Beach they took off their shoes and socks, leaving them under the boardwalk, while they walked along the shore, letting the waves drizzle out across their bare feet. Rusty called the smell of the sea, the salty air “the ultimate cure for whatever ails you,” but Miri didn’t think it could wash away her sadness today, even if she jumped in fully dressed.
“You want to talk about it?” Henry asked.
“I hate secrets,” Miri said.
“I don’t blame you.”
“Did you know?” she asked.
“About Rusty and Dr. O?”
Miri nodded.
“No one knew.”
“Until I found them, you mean.”
“I think they wanted to be found—not by you, not the way it happened, but they wanted it known. Otherwise they’d never have been at home that day.”
“Natalie called Rusty a whore.”
“Poor Natalie, if she feels that to defend her mother she has to bad-mouth Rusty. Someday she’ll grow up and figure it out for herself.”
“Figure what out?”
“There are two sides to every story.”
“Always?”
“Almost always.” Henry took her hand. “Rusty deserves to be happy,” he said, “and so does Arthur. He’s a good man, Miri.”
As if she didn’t know. As if she hadn’t dreamed of having a father just like him. “How can a good man leave his wife and children?”
“We don’t know about his marriage, Miri. We don’t even know that he is leaving his children.”
“Do you mean the children might go with him?” That would change everything, and not for the better, now that Natalie hated her. She was glad Steve would be going away to college. She didn’t want to live in the same house with him. He barely acknowledged her existence. And Fern? Fern was a noodge but Miri wouldn’t mind her that much. They could get a babysitter for her, maybe another Mrs. Barnes.
“You’re asking questions only Rusty and Arthur can answer,” Henry said. “I’m sure they’re going to sit down with you and explain everything.”
“Oh, no!”
“What?”
“Tonight. Six-thirty. Pizza from Spirito’s. I forgot.”
He checked his watch. “You’re already late. You should call.”
“Would you do it for me?”
“It would be better if you did it yourself.”
She called from a phone booth along the boardwalk, feeding coins into the box as fast as Henry handed them to her. When Rusty answered, Miri said, “It’s me. I forgot.”
“We’ll do it tomorrow,” Rusty said. “No excuses.”
“Okay. Tomorrow.”
She didn’t tell Henry until after they’d stopped at the hotel where the wedding would be, until after he’d shown her the garden where the chuppah would be draped with Grandpa Max’s tallis and a white lace tablecloth brought from the old country by Leah’s grandmother. Everything else would be decorated with peonies, Leah’s favorite flower, in shades ranging from pale blush to deep pink. She didn’t tell him until he asked, “Would you like to bring Mason to the wedding? I know we didn’t send him a proper invitation but—”
“We broke up,” she managed to say, holding back tears. If only she could have a do-over she’d take a different route home from school, or she’d have gone to Pamel’s with her girlfriends, or maybe to the library. Then she wouldn’t have run into him or seen Polina and Stash.
“You broke up?” Henry said. “I’m so sorry.”
She leaned against him and nestled her head against his chest. “He has another girlfriend. All this time he’s had another girlfriend.”
Henry shook his head. “I can’t believe this. Are you sure?”
“She cooks at Janet. She has a little boy. He says he tried to end it with her…”
“But you don’t believe him?”
She shrugged. “Do you?”
“I don’t know Mason as well as you.”
“Would you ever lie like that to Leah?”
“Never.”
“I don’t see how he could have lied to me.”
“Maybe he didn’t know how to tell you. He’s still a boy, Miri. He has a lot of stuff to figure out.”
“I told him I never want to see him again.”
“That’s a strong message.”
“I mean it.” Was this her punishment for her fantasy about Dr. O marrying her mother? To lose her boyfriend, the best boyfriend any girl could have? No wonder he’d never tried to get beyond first base with her. All the time he was doing it with Polina. How could she, a fifteen-yea
r-old girl, compete with that?
“I don’t know how I can keep going,” she told Henry.
“Miri, sweetheart—life is hard,” Henry said, “but it’s worth the struggle.”
“Are you sure?”
“Very, very sure.”
—
“I BROKE UP with Mason,” she told Rusty that night, “and I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Oh, honey,” Rusty said. “I’m so sorry. Is it about Las Vegas?”
“I said I don’t want to talk about it, and no, it’s not about Las Vegas. End of conversation.” Let Rusty tell Irene. Let Rusty tell the whole world.
Henry
Leah said Miri would learn from this experience. She said it wasn’t realistic of them to think puppy love could last. But learn what? Not to trust? Not to believe? Not to love? He didn’t agree with Leah. He wished he could make Miri’s sadness go away. But there was nothing he could do except be there for her.
Christina
Jack was beside himself. They were in his room at Mrs. O’Malley’s. He paced up and down, punching his fist into his open hand while she sat primly on the edge of the bed. “And now Mason won’t come to Las Vegas because of that little bitch.”
“Do you know why Miri broke up with him?” Christina asked. “No. Do you?”
“Because he lied to her. Because he’s been…” She tried to put it delicately. “He’s been sleeping with Polina, the girl who cooks at Janet, the one Daisy took in after she lost everything in the Williamson Street crash.”
“Mason?”
“Yes, Mason. Polina told Daisy and Daisy told me. She thought I should know because of our…closeness.”
“My little brother?”
“Yes, your little brother. Polina said Mason broke up with her right after Miri found out he was cheating.”
“This is crazy. We’re talking about kids.”
“Polina’s not a kid. But she has one.”
“Jesus, Mary and Joseph! How do we know this is really true?”
“Why would Daisy lie to me? She’s not a gossip. But you should ask Mason yourself.”
“Jesus, Mary and Joseph!”
“I wish you’d stop saying that.”
“What should I say?”
“I’m sorry, Jack.” Christina softened. “It must be hard for you to hear this.”
“What’s hard is that he thinks he can’t confide in me, that he thinks he can’t come with us.”
“Give him time. Let him cool off. I’ll bet you anything he’ll change his mind. If not right away, then as soon as he finishes high school.”
“But that’s another year. Who’s going to be around to watch over him, make sure he’s okay until then?”
“Any boy who can run into a burning plane, not once, not twice, but how many times?”
“I lost count,” Jack said.
“Well, any boy who can keep his head straight through all of that is going to be okay.”
“But you can’t be sure, can you?”
“If you want to stay…”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Because if you don’t want to leave him…”
“I didn’t say that, either.”
“All I mean is, I’d understand. And my parents would be over the moon.”
“Until you tell them about us.” Jack took a couple of practice swings with an imaginary baseball bat. “When are you going to tell them, Mrs. McKittrick?”
“When the time is right.”
Fortunately, he didn’t question her about when that would be. Because she hadn’t the faintest idea. “Are we having our first fight?” she asked.
“We’re never going to fight.” He fell back on the bed and took her in his arms.
Miri
Miri found out from Dr. O that Mason refused to go to Las Vegas with Christina and Jack. He’s not going because I’m going, she thought. Well, guess what? She’d decided to stay home with Irene and Henry. Henry and Leah could have Rusty’s upstairs apartment and she’d move in with Irene, downstairs. So Mason could go with Jack and she’d never have to see him again. Until Henry broke the news that he’d accepted a job with The Washington Post and he and Leah were moving to D.C. after the wedding. Just like that. He promised that when she visited, he’d take her to see the White House and all the other sites.
Okay, then she’d stay with Irene, and Ben could move in upstairs. When she announced her plan, Rusty said, “But Irene and Ben are coming with us.”
“I don’t believe you!” Miri ran downstairs to find Irene.
Irene said, “I should let my girls go without me? Are you crazy? Never!”
Ben said, “There’s plenty of real estate opportunities in Las Vegas. Not that I need the money, but I like the idea.”
—
LATER, at the twice-postponed pizza supper, once because of Miri, once because Dr. O couldn’t make it, Dr. O said, “I can promise you this, Mirabelle. I’ll love your mother and take care of her, and you, as long as I live. And I’ll never give either one of you a bum steer.”
“What about Natalie? Would you give her a bum steer?”
“Miri,” Rusty warned.
“It’s okay,” Dr. O said to Rusty. “Mirabelle doesn’t trust me yet. But I’m hoping, in time, I’ll earn it.”
“Stop calling me that,” she said to Dr. O.
He looked hurt. “What would you like me to call you?”
“Miri.”
“Okay,” Dr. O said. “From now on it’s Miri.”
—
RUSTY CAME to her room and knocked on the door before she opened it. “I wish it could have been different,” she said. “I know people are saying I stole him away from Corinne but I didn’t. You have to believe that, honey. Please.”
“Did you fall in love in an instant, like a flash of lightning?”
“I wouldn’t describe it that way. I was volunteering with the Red Cross. I’d bring him coffee and Danish at the morgue,” Rusty said, “sometimes late at night. He needed to talk, to unwind. It was gruesome work, identifying burned and broken bodies.”
“I don’t want to hear about that.”
“Okay.”
“And I don’t want to hear about the other stuff, either.”
“I understand. But you should know that when Natalie got sick we decided to end it before it had even begun.”
“So then, what…you changed your minds?”
“Staying apart didn’t work out.”
Miri could have laughed but she didn’t.
Rusty tried to give her a hug. Miri stood stiffly at first, then relented. She knew she had the power to refuse but she was losing her will.
“It’s going to be a great adventure,” Rusty whispered.
Miri never thought about her mother being adventurous. If she was so adventurous how come she never went anywhere or did anything except get up and go to work every day, five days a week, and on weekends clean the house and do the laundry? When Miri put that to her, Rusty said, “Because I took my responsibilities seriously. I still do.”
“Would you marry him if he were staying in Elizabeth? Would that be enough of an adventure for you?”
“I love him, Miri. Our lives together will be all the adventure I need. I’d stand by his side no matter what.”
That was a powerful message for Miri. She loved Mason. But she wasn’t standing by his side no matter what. And neither would Rusty, she bet, if the no-matter-what was Polina, or someone like Polina. If the no-matter-what was a pack of lies.
“Would you have gone without me?” Miri asked. That was really all she wanted to know.
“I could never leave you, Miri. How could you doubt my love?”
Even if she could doubt it, why would she? Why make life harder than it had to be? She was so tired from all of it. Too tired to fight it anymore. Too tired to run every time someone she loved disappointed her.
So, that was that. She was going. Mason wasn’t.
Elizabeth
Daily Post
JUNE WEDDING
JUNE 22—Miss Leah Rose Cohen, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Seymour Cohen, of Cleveland, Ohio, and Mr. Henry Joel Ammerman, son of Mrs. Irene Ammerman and the late Max Ammerman, of Elizabeth, were married this afternoon by Rabbi Gershon B. Chertoff at the Hotel La Reine in Bradley Beach. The bride graduated from Ohio State University. The groom served in WWII with the Army in Europe. He is a graduate of Rutgers University and is a reporter for the Daily Post.
The bride wore a tea-length dress of white dotted swiss with a pink sash and carried a bouquet of New Dawn roses and peonies. The groom’s sister, Mrs. Rusty Ammerman, of Elizabeth, was Matron of Honor. She wore a pale pink sheath. The two bridesmaids, Pamela Cohen, of Cleveland, sister of the bride, and Miri Ammerman, of Elizabeth, niece of the groom, wore matching dresses in deep pink cotton sateen.
The couple will honeymoon in Atlantic City, before moving to their new home in Washington, D.C.
33
Miri
It was a perfect day at the Jersey Shore, breezy but not so breezy their hairstyles were ruined or the chuppah was in danger of blowing over. Miri was annoyed that Rusty thought she’d needed to lecture her that morning about how this was Henry and Leah’s big day and no matter what else was happening, no matter what else they were thinking or feeling, they were going to be happy for Henry and Leah. As if Miri needed to be told. As if she would come to Henry’s wedding and mope over her own loss. Although she felt her loss every minute of every day, her love for Henry was stronger.
Leah’s mother was chatty but stayed close to Aunt Alma. She and Irene both wore beige at Leah’s request, a color that didn’t suit either of them. Irene draped a flattering pink floral scarf around her neck, and gave a matching scarf to Leah’s mother, who was grateful. Leah’s father didn’t mingle. Sy’s arthritis is bothering him, Leah’s mother explained to anyone who asked. Dr. O and Rusty decided it was too soon to be out together as a couple so he didn’t come to the wedding. But Ben Sapphire did, and he kept Leah’s father company, making sure he had enough to drink to be cheerful, but no more.
Neither Leah’s sister, who had just finished her sophomore year at Ohio State, nor Miri had ever attended a wedding, let alone been bridesmaids. They were seated together at lunch—chicken à la king with crispy noodles and rice. Pamela joked that the restaurant must be part Chinese, part ladies’ tearoom, making Miri laugh, but it reminded her of going to lunch with Frekki before the play at the Paper Mill Playhouse.