Idles of March
Quintin Fortune
Copyright 2014 Quintin Fortune
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7:32 am
The Weather in New Tao could never make up it's mind. Sunny one day, rainy the next. Throw in the erratic weather patterns that accompany the days before Spring, and any New Taosian wonders whether they should even leave the house.
Jill Nemo also wondered leaving her apartment, but not because of the weather outside. Since she opened the office of the Professional Heroes a month ago, they had gotten a total of ten clients. It was barely enough to keep the place open.
I could ask my parents...no, she thought as she applied her eyeliner. I need to prove I can do this on my own.
"...and the weather's going to be another wild one today, folks," she heard the meteorologist announce from the living room.
"Not a shock there," she said to him. She then applied a bit of naked lipstick. It wasn't convincing. She grabbed the pastel blue shirt she had set out on the bed and threw it on, followed by the khaki pants. Why do bosses always have to wear khaki she mentally asked. I hate khaki. A quick slip on of her sensible business shoes and she was off.
"Hope Deadguy remembered he was opening today," she huffed, almost as a prayer, while she locked the door to go to work.
8:10 am
She arrived to find Deadguy and Valkadaidan engaged in a card game. It was a game that involved creatures, spells, and 'tapping' land. They tried teaching her how to play once, but it all seemed so boring. 'Lack of imagination' Deadguy said after she told them that. Maybe I do lack imagination, she thought. Maybe if I was a little more creative...
"I really hate down time," DG announced, breaking her from her thoughts. "Oop, boss is here. Look busy."
"I am busy," Valk stated. "stomping your ass."
"You and what army?"
Valk turned several cards sideways and placed three more cards on the table. "That army."
Our Hero looked down at the cards, then glared at Valk. "You bastard. Best two out of three." The Heroes picked up their cards and shuffled their decks as Jill walked back to the break room for coffee.
There was a clap of thunder as she poured herself a cup. "Getting a little realistic in there," she joked.
"That wasn't us this time," DG called back.
She walked out to see a tumultuous downpour just outside. "Looks like walk-ins are out of the question," she muttered to her coffee.
# # #
9:15 am
Jill looked over her desk and the guys. Deadguy was at his desk to her left, while Valkadaidan was at his desk to her right. It was the best way to keep an eye on them and also keep them separated. It didn't help much, Deadguy still liked to play pranks on Valkadaidan once every other day. She really hoped today wasn't one of those days.
There was the sound of Japanese voices coming from Deadguy's side. She glanced over to see him laughing hysterically at his computer. "Yo, Valkster," he said. "You've got to check these commercials out."
"No," Valkadaidan growled.
"Aw, come on, this one's awesome. There's a talking dog in space and all sorts of-"
"No," the Dragon-Blooded reaffirmed.
"Fine, fine," Our Hero sighed, turning back to his computer, chuckling over an advertisement for fruit chews.
The phone on the front desk rang. All three Heroes perked up. "Who's on phone duty," Jill asked.
"Who cares," Deadguy answered. "It's a customer!" The three then made a mad dash to the front desk. Valk tripped DG as Jill distracted him with a fake tap on the shoulder. Our Hero grabbed her foot, causing her to fall. She reached out and latched onto the Supreme Warrior's shirt as he passed, almost chocking him. Deadguy was up and leapfrogged over Valk, only to have his leg grabbed.
He slammed Our Hero into the floor. Hard. Jill took the opportunity to slip past the boys and ripped the phone off the cradle. "Professional Heroes! Jill Nemo speaking," she answered with a chipper tone.
“Sorry,” a British voice replied. “Wrong number.”
Her face suddenly wore a look of dejection. "Oh...well, have a nice day." She hung the phone up and turned back to Deadguy and Valkadaidan. They were trying to strangle one another. "Wrong number," she told them. "You two can stop chocking each other now."
"You heard the boss," DG gasped. "Leggo."
"You first," Valk responded.
"Break it up now," Jill said again, her voice booming across the office. The guys quickly let go of each other. She covered her mouth, a little shocked that that came out of her.
"I swear, she never let's us have any fun," Deadguy grumbled.
"I'm sorry," Jill said, walking back to her desk. "but I think it would set a bad image if someone came in and saw you two trying to kill each other."
"We can't kill each other," Valk replied, helping Deadguy off the floor.
"Yeah, and almost everyone in New Tao knows I've probably lost my mind," Deadguy added, dusting himself off. "Crazy people do crazy things." He stopped suddenly, standing in the middle of the office. She became concerned that he might start narrating out loud again, but her fears were soon put to rest. "I need coffee," he said finally. "I don't know why I need coffee, but whatever." He walked into the break room as Valk sat back at his desk.
"I worry about him sometimes," Jill confided in him.
"How so," he asked.
"I'm just worried one day his mind's going to snap and he won't be coming back."
"That won't be happening," Valk said. She couldn't tell if he had said that only to reassure her or if he knew something she didn't. "Trust me," he added, almost as if he was answering her internal questions.
10:02 am
"Ow," Deadguy yelped, breaking Jill away from her tablet. She looked up to see him rubbing the top of his head and glaring across at Valkadaidan. "Why the hell did you throw a stapler at me?"
"You were snoring," Valk replied.
"That's not reason to throw a stapler at me!"
"Sounds like a good reason to me," Jill joked.
Our Hero turned to her. "You stay out of this," he said. "Just go back to your little tablet and let me deal with shmuckhead here."
She heard her stomach grumble, as did the other Heroes, who both turned to her. "Snack time," she suggested.
"Who's turn is it to get snacks anyway," Deadguy asked.
"Your's," Valkadaidan answered.
"How the hell is it my turn," DG protested.
"You asked, which makes it your turn," Jill said.
He pushed himself off his desk to stand up. "I see what's going on here," he stated. "You're trying to get rid of me so you two can have some crazy make out session."
"Yes," she agreed. "we wear funny hats and Valk let's me put blush on him." Both guys stared at her. Deadguy looked as if he was wondering if she was serious, while Valkadaidan didn't seem particularly amused. "What? You make things up," she said, trying to justify her comment. "Oh, just go get some damn bagels."
"It's like I don't even know her anymore," Deadguy commented, grabbing his trench coat as he walked out.
When he left, Valk chuckled. Jill let out a gasp. "You actually have a sense of humor," she remarked.
"You left him speechless," Valk complimented. "I didn't think that was possible.
She blushed slightly. It was the first semi-compliment she had gotten from him in the over two years they've been together. This was also the first time in over two years they've been left alone for any amount of time
, business or otherwise. "I really don't know anything about you," she blurted out.
Valkadaidan looked her over for what seemed like forever. "I will only tell you this because I respect you as our leader," he said carefully. "Do not pursue that path of questions."
She sulked in her seat. "I was just trying to make conversation," she remarked, a little hurt.
The Dragon Blooded turned away from her and crossed his arms in his seat. His eyes were closed. "Understood," he replied.
The door chimed after a few moments, breaking the uncomfortable silence. "I'm back with bagels," Deadguy announced. He walked past the brooding Valk and her sulking to the break room. "Managed to grab the last two pretzel while I was there," he continued as if nothing had happened. "Got a couple cheese ones, one with poppy seeds, and an everything bagel." She heard the soft sounds of a plastic bag being ruffled. "Doesn't really look like they put everything on it."
Jill shot up from her chair and stormed into the break room. Our Hero turned to greet her. "Oh good," he said. "For a moment I was afraid I was talking to myself again." She snatched the everything bagel from his hand and walked out. "Yeah, you're welcome," he called out to her.
"Thank you," she snapped, taking the bagel outside vie the fire exit.
10:20am
Jill plopped down on one of the lawn chairs they had sitting on the roof. The rain had stopped and the weather was clear, if a little cool. She slowly started eating her bagel as the sound of the fire exit door opening was heard. She closed her eyes. Please don't let it be Valkadaidan she mentally prayed. There was the sound of footsteps, then Deadguy plopped down in the chair next to her. He had a pretzel bagel in his hand and the other in his mouth.
Whaff uf boff," he questioned.
"Don't talk with your mouth full," she sighed.
He took the other bagel out of his mouth. "Sorry. Kinda hard to walk up a ladder with a bagel in each hand," he explained.
She nibbled on her bagel a bit. "What's wrong with me," she asked.
DG stopped in mid-bite. He shook his head while still having the bagel in his mouth. "Uh uh," he said. He took a bit, gulping it down after two chews. "No. I am not answering that question."
"Why not," she pleaded. "I promise I won't fire you."
"That I'm not worried about. What I am worried about is that you two had a chat, or worse, and it ended the same way every confrontation with Valk ends: him all growly and everyone else hurt, either physically or emotionally. Or both."
She chuckled, taking another bite of her bagel. A larger piece this time. "You think I'm crazy," she said.
"Boss, no one's normal," he commented. "Anyone who says they are is crazy." He tore another bite out of his bagel. "or they're trying to sell you something."
She laughed a little more this time. "Okay, oh wise one, what should I do then," she asked.
He polished off one bagel and started eating the other. "Honestly, let it go for now. I know you might not think that's the best idea, but Valkster's the kind of guy who holds his cards really close to his chest. Trust me, I've played enough card games with him to know. In time, he'll open up to us and we'll be a stronger team for it.`
"Or he could just walk away again," she remarked, looking off into the cityscape.
"I think we're beyond that," DG said confidently.
She gulped down the last of her bagel and stood. "Well, we should get back to him anyway, before he gets suspicious," she said.