be drunk! He has taken it into his head toplay the lawyer, prince, and he practices speechifying, and is alwaysrepeating his eloquent pleadings to his children. And who do you thinkwas his last client? An old woman who had been robbed of five hundredroubles, her all, by some rogue of a usurer, besought him to take upher case, instead of which he defended the usurer himself, a Jew namedZeidler, because this Jew promised to give him fifty roubles....”
“It was to be fifty if I won the case, only five if I lost,” interruptedLebedeff, speaking in a low tone, a great contrast to his earliermanner.
“Well! naturally he came to grief: the law is not administered as itused to be, and he only got laughed at for his pains. But he was muchpleased with himself in spite of that. ‘Most learned judge!’ said he,‘picture this unhappy man, crippled by age and infirmities, who gainshis living by honourable toil--picture him, I repeat, robbed of his all,of his last mouthful; remember, I entreat you, the words of that learnedlegislator, “Let mercy and justice alike rule the courts of law.”’ Now,would you believe it, excellency, every morning he recites thisspeech to us from beginning to end, exactly as he spoke it before themagistrate. To-day we have heard it for the fifth time. He was juststarting again when you arrived, so much does he admire it. He is nowpreparing to undertake another case. I think, by the way, that you arePrince Muishkin? Colia tells me you are the cleverest man he has everknown....”
“The cleverest in the world,” interrupted his uncle hastily.
“I do not pay much attention to that opinion,” continued the young mancalmly. “Colia is very fond of you, but he,” pointing to Lebedeff, “isflattering you. I can assure you I have no intention of flattering you,or anyone else, but at least you have some common-sense. Well, will youjudge between us? Shall we ask the prince to act as arbitrator?” he wenton, addressing his uncle.
“I am so glad you chanced to come here, prince.”
“I agree,” said Lebedeff, firmly, looking round involuntarily at hisdaughter, who had come nearer, and was listening attentively to theconversation.
“What is it all about?” asked the prince, frowning. His head ached, andhe felt sure that Lebedeff was trying to cheat him in some way, and onlytalking to put off the explanation that he had come for.
“I will tell you all the story. I am his nephew; he did speak the truththere, although he is generally telling lies. I am at the University,and have not yet finished my course. I mean to do so, and I shall, forI have a determined character. I must, however, find something to dofor the present, and therefore I have got employment on the railway attwenty-four roubles a month. I admit that my uncle has helped me onceor twice before. Well, I had twenty roubles in my pocket, and I gambledthem away. Can you believe that I should be so low, so base, as to losemoney in that way?”
“And the man who won it is a rogue, a rogue whom you ought not to havepaid!” cried Lebedeff.
“Yes, he is a rogue, but I was obliged to pay him,” said the young man.“As to his being a rogue, he is assuredly that, and I am not saying itbecause he beat you. He is an ex-lieutenant, prince, dismissed from theservice, a teacher of boxing, and one of Rogojin’s followers. They areall lounging about the pavements now that Rogojin has turned them off.Of course, the worst of it is that, knowing he was a rascal, and acard-sharper, I none the less played palki with him, and risked my lastrouble. To tell the truth, I thought to myself, ‘If I lose, I will goto my uncle, and I am sure he will not refuse to help me.’ Now that wasbase--cowardly and base!”
“That is so,” observed Lebedeff quietly; “cowardly and base.”
“Well, wait a bit, before you begin to triumph,” said the nephewviciously; for the words seemed to irritate him. “He is delighted! Icame to him here and told him everything: I acted honourably, for I didnot excuse myself. I spoke most severely of my conduct, as everyone herecan witness. But I must smarten myself up before I take up my new post,for I am really like a tramp. Just look at my boots! I cannot possiblyappear like this, and if I am not at the bureau at the time appointed,the job will be given to someone else; and I shall have to try foranother. Now I only beg for fifteen roubles, and I give my word thatI will never ask him for anything again. I am also ready to promise torepay my debt in three months’ time, and I will keep my word, even if Ihave to live on bread and water. My salary will amount to seventy-fiveroubles in three months. The sum I now ask, added to what I haveborrowed already, will make a total of about thirty-five roubles, soyou see I shall have enough to pay him and confound him! if he wantsinterest, he shall have that, too! Haven’t I always paid back the moneyhe lent me before? Why should he be so mean now? He grudges my havingpaid that lieutenant; there can be no other reason! That’s the kind heis--a dog in the manger!”
“And he won’t go away!” cried Lebedeff. “He has installed himself here,and here he remains!”
“I have told you already, that I will not go away until I have got whatI ask. Why are you smiling, prince? You look as if you disapproved ofme.”
“I am not smiling, but I really think you are in the wrong, somewhat,” replied Muishkin, reluctantly.
“Don’t shuffle! Say plainly that you think that I am quite wrong,without any ‘somewhat’! Why ‘somewhat’?”
“I will say you are quite wrong, if you wish.”
“If I wish! That’s good, I must say! Do you think I am deceived as tothe flagrant impropriety of my conduct? I am quite aware that his moneyis his own, and that my action--is much like an attempt at extortion.But you-you don’t know what life is! If people don’t learn byexperience, they never understand. They must be taught. My intentionsare perfectly honest; on my conscience he will lose nothing, and I willpay back the money with interest. Added to which he has had the moralsatisfaction of seeing me disgraced. What does he want more? and whatis he good for if he never helps anyone? Look what he does himself! justask him about his dealings with others, how he deceives people! How didhe manage to buy this house? You may cut off my head if he has not letyou in for something--and if he is not trying to cheat you again. You aresmiling. You don’t believe me?”
“It seems to me that all this has nothing to do with your affairs,” remarked the prince.
“I have lain here now for three days,” cried the young man withoutnoticing, “and I have seen a lot! Fancy! he suspects his daughter, thatangel, that orphan, my cousin--he suspects her, and every evening hesearches her room, to see if she has a lover hidden in it! He comeshere too on tiptoe, creeping softly--oh, so softly--and looks under thesofa--my bed, you know. He is mad with suspicion, and sees a thief inevery corner. He runs about all night long; he was up at least seventimes last night, to satisfy himself that the windows and doors werebarred, and to peep into the oven. That man who appears in court forscoundrels, rushes in here in the night and prays, lying prostrate,banging his head on the ground by the half-hour--and for whom do youthink he prays? Who are the sinners figuring in his drunken petitions?I have heard him with my own ears praying for the repose of the soulof the Countess du Barry! Colia heard it too. He is as mad as a Marchhare!”
“You hear how he slanders me, prince,” said Lebedeff, almost besidehimself with rage. “I may be a drunkard, an evil-doer, a thief, but atleast I can say one thing for myself. He does not know--how should he,mocker that he is?--that when he came into the world it was I who washedhim, and dressed him in his swathing-bands, for my sister Anisia hadlost her husband, and was in great poverty. I was very little betteroff than she, but I sat up night after night with her, and nursed bothmother and child; I used to go downstairs and steal wood for them fromthe house-porter. How often did I sing him to sleep when I was half deadwith hunger! In short, I was more than a father to him, and now--now hejeers at me! Even if I did cross myself, and pray for the repose of thesoul of the Comtesse du Barry, what does it matter? Three days ago,for the first time in my life, I read her biography in an historicaldictionary. Do you know who she was? You there!” addressing his nephew.“Speak! do you know?”
“O
f course no one knows anything about her but you,” muttered the youngman in a would-be jeering tone.
“She was a Countess who rose from shame to reign like a Queen. AnEmpress wrote to her, with her own hand, as ‘_Ma chère cousine_.’ Ata _lever-du-roi_ one morning (do you know what a _lever-du-roi_ was?)--aCardinal, a Papal legate, offered to put on her stockings; a high andholy person like that looked on it as an honour! Did you know this? Isee by your expression that you did not! Well, how did she die? Answer!”
“Oh! do stop--you are too absurd!”
“This is how she died. After all this honour and glory, after havingbeen almost a Queen, she was guillotined by that butcher, Samson. Shewas quite innocent, but it had to be done, for the satisfaction of thefishwives of Paris. She was so terrified, that she did not understandwhat was happening. But when Samson seized her head, and pushed herunder the knife with his foot, she cried out: ‘Wait a moment! wait amoment, monsieur!’ Well, because of that moment of bitter suffering,perhaps the Saviour will pardon her other