Page 65 of The Idiot

performance of anythingshe had set her mind on! “Oh, she is mad, mad!” thought the poor prince.

  But there were many other puzzling occurrences that day, which requiredimmediate explanation, and the prince felt very sad. A visit from VeraLebedeff distracted him a little. She brought the infant Lubotchka withher as usual, and talked cheerfully for some time. Then came her youngersister, and later the brother, who attended a school close by. Heinformed Muishkin that his father had lately found a new interpretationof the star called “wormwood,” which fell upon the water-springs, asdescribed in the Apocalypse. He had decided that it meant the network ofrailroads spread over the face of Europe at the present time. Theprince refused to believe that Lebedeff could have given such aninterpretation, and they decided to ask him about it at the earliestopportunity. Vera related how Keller had taken up his abode with them onthe previous evening. She thought he would remain for some time, as hewas greatly pleased with the society of General Ivolgin and of thewhole family. But he declared that he had only come to them in orderto complete his education! The prince always enjoyed the company ofLebedeff’s children, and today it was especially welcome, for Colia didnot appear all day. Early that morning he had started for Petersburg.Lebedeff also was away on business. But Gavrila Ardalionovitch hadpromised to visit Muishkin, who eagerly awaited his coming.

  About seven in the evening, soon after dinner, he arrived. At the firstglance it struck the prince that he, at any rate, must know all thedetails of last night’s affair. Indeed, it would have been impossiblefor him to remain in ignorance considering the intimate relationshipbetween him, Varvara Ardalionovna, and Ptitsin. But although he and theprince were intimate, in a sense, and although the latter had placedthe Burdovsky affair in his hands--and this was not the only mark ofconfidence he had received--it seemed curious how many matters therewere that were tacitly avoided in their conversations. Muishkin thoughtthat Gania at times appeared to desire more cordiality and frankness.It was apparent now, when he entered, that he was convinced that themoment for breaking the ice between them had come at last.

  But all the same Gania was in haste, for his sister was waiting atLebedeff’s to consult him on an urgent matter of business. If he hadanticipated impatient questions, or impulsive confidences, he wassoon undeceived. The prince was thoughtful, reserved, even a littleabsent-minded, and asked none of the questions--one in particular--thatGania had expected. So he imitated the prince’s demeanour, and talkedfast and brilliantly upon all subjects but the one on which theirthoughts were engaged. Among other things Gania told his host thatNastasia Philipovna had been only four days in Pavlofsk, and thateveryone was talking about her already. She was staying with DariaAlexeyevna, in an ugly little house in Mattrossky Street, but droveabout in the smartest carriage in the place. A crowd of followershad pursued her from the first, young and old. Some escorted her onhorse-back when she took the air in her carriage.

  She was as capricious as ever in the choice of her acquaintances, andadmitted few into her narrow circle. Yet she already had a numerousfollowing and many champions on whom she could depend in time of need.One gentleman on his holiday had broken off his engagement on heraccount, and an old general had quarrelled with his only son for thesame reason.

  She was accompanied sometimes in her carriage by a girl of sixteen,a distant relative of her hostess. This young lady sang very well; infact, her music had given a kind of notoriety to their little house.Nastasia, however, was behaving with great discretion on the whole. Shedressed quietly, though with such taste as to drive all the ladiesin Pavlofsk mad with envy, of that, as well as of her beauty and hercarriage and horses.

  “As for yesterday’s episode,” continued Gania, “of course it waspre-arranged.” Here he paused, as though expecting to be asked howhe knew that. But the prince did not inquire. Concerning EvgeniePavlovitch, Gania stated, without being asked, that he believed theformer had not known Nastasia Philipovna in past years, but that he hadprobably been introduced to her by somebody in the park during thesefour days. As to the question of the IOU’s she had spoken of, theremight easily be something in that; for though Evgenie was undoubtedlya man of wealth, yet certain of his affairs were equally undoubtedly indisorder. Arrived at this interesting point, Gania suddenly broke off,and said no more about Nastasia’s prank of the previous evening.

  At last Varvara Ardalionovna came in search of her brother, and remainedfor a few minutes. Without Muishkin’s asking her, she informed him thatEvgenie Pavlovitch was spending the day in Petersburg, and perhaps wouldremain there over tomorrow; and that her husband had also gone to town,probably in connection with Evgenie Pavlovitch’s affairs.

  “Lizabetha Prokofievna is in a really fiendish temper today,” sheadded, as she went out, “but the most curious thing is that Aglaya hasquarrelled with her whole family; not only with her father and mother,but with her sisters also. It is not a good sign.” She said all thisquite casually, though it was extremely important in the eyes ofthe prince, and went off with her brother. Regarding the episode of“Pavlicheff’s son,” Gania had been absolutely silent, partly from a kindof false modesty, partly, perhaps, to “spare the prince’s feelings.” Thelatter, however, thanked him again for the trouble he had taken in theaffair.

  Muishkin was glad enough to be left alone. He went out of the garden,crossed the road, and entered the park. He wished to reflect, and tomake up his mind as to a certain “step.” This step was one of thosethings, however, which are not thought out, as a rule, but decided foror against hastily, and without much reflection. The fact is, he felt alonging to leave all this and go away--go anywhere, if only it werefar enough, and at once, without bidding farewell to anyone. He felt apresentiment that if he remained but a few days more in this place, andamong these people, he would be fixed there irrevocably and permanently.However, in a very few minutes he decided that to run away wasimpossible; that it would be cowardly; that great problems lay beforehim, and that he had no right to leave them unsolved, or at least torefuse to give all his energy and strength to the attempt to solve them.Having come to this determination, he turned and went home, his walkhaving lasted less than a quarter of an hour. At that moment he wasthoroughly unhappy.

  Lebedeff had not returned, so towards evening Keller managed topenetrate into the prince’s apartments. He was not drunk, but in aconfidential and talkative mood. He announced that he had come to tellthe story of his life to Muishkin, and had only remained at Pavlofsk forthat purpose. There was no means of turning him out; nothing short of anearthquake would have removed him.

  In the manner of one with long hours before him, he began his history;but after a few incoherent words he jumped to the conclusion, whichwas that “having ceased to believe in God Almighty, he had lost everyvestige of morality, and had gone so far as to commit a theft.” “Couldyou imagine such a thing?” said he.

  “Listen to me, Keller,” returned the prince. “If I were in your place, Ishould not acknowledge that unless it were absolutely necessary for somereason. But perhaps you are making yourself out to be worse than youare, purposely?”

  “I should tell it to no one but yourself, prince, and I only name it nowas a help to my soul’s evolution. When I die, that secret will die withme! But, excellency, if you knew, if you only had the least idea, howdifficult it is to get money nowadays! Where to find it is the question.Ask for a loan, the answer is always the same: ‘Give us gold, jewels, ordiamonds, and it will be quite easy.’ Exactly what one has not got! Canyou picture that to yourself? I got angry at last, and said, ‘Isuppose you would accept emeralds?’ ‘Certainly, we accept emeralds withpleasure. Yes!’ ‘Well, that’s all right,’ said I. ‘Go to the devil, youden of thieves!’ And with that I seized my hat, and walked out.”

  “Had you any emeralds?” asked the prince.

  “What? I have emeralds? Oh, prince! with what simplicity, with whatalmost pastoral simplicity, you look upon life!”

  Could not something be made of this man under good influences? asked
theprince of himself, for he began to feel a kind of pity for his visitor.He thought little of the value of his own personal influence, not froma sense of humility, but from his peculiar way of looking at thingsin general. Imperceptibly the conversation grew more animated and moreinteresting, so that neither of the two felt anxious to bring it to aclose. Keller confessed, with apparent sincerity, to having been guiltyof many acts of such a nature that it astonished the prince that hecould mention them, even to him. At every fresh avowal he professed thedeepest repentance, and described himself as being “bathed in tears”;but this did not prevent him from putting on a boastful air at times,and some of his stories were so absurdly comical that both he and theprince laughed like madmen.

  “One point in your favour is that you seem to have a child-like mind,and extreme truthfulness,” said the prince at last. “Do you know thatthat atones for much?”

  “I am assuredly noble-minded, and chivalrous to a degree!” said Keller,much softened. “But, do