Sure enough, taped to the bottom was an index card that had a list of passwords written on it! . . .
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!
I took a picture of the index card with Erin’s cell phone. Then I pulled up her e-mail address and sent her a copy of the photo.
I had placed the index card back under the trophy and was about to leave when I noticed several yellow sticky notes stuck on the computer monitor.
Unfortunately, one of them was about ME! . . .
TO: Principal Smith
FROM: Kathy W.
RE: MAXWELL CRUMBLY, 8th grade
Max was tardy twice today, missed a math quiz, and seemed upset about something. His parents asked to be updated about any issues.
Maybe give them a call on Tuesday to set up a meeting?
ISSUES?! What issues?! I DON’T have any STINKIN’ issues!!
I’d managed to SURVIVE Thug and three criminals! And now my PRINCIPAL was going to WRECK everything by meeting with my PARENTS?!
GIVE ME A BREAK!
I stared at the note. What if it just disappeared into thin air? He’d probably never even miss it.
Yes, I know! Taking stuff that didn’t belong to me was dishonest and would RUIN my life.
Although, being homeschooled and eating animal crackers until I VOMITED would pretty much RUIN it too.
I SNATCHED the note, balled it up, and stuck it in my pocket.
Then I ran, jumped on the chair, bounced off the seat cushion, and dove inside the vent, just like a ninja.
SORRY, Principal Smith!
But Max C. wasn’t going down like that!
29. THE MORTIFYING MISADVENTURE OF MAX CRUMBLY!! (SORRY, DUDES! MY BAD!)
Erin must have gotten her hands on another cell phone, because I just got a text from her. . . .
Thanks 4 the password . Remote access granted! Call you in 2 minutes.
I needed to find a secluded place as far away as possible from the computer lab so I could talk to her without being overheard.
Someplace like, maybe . . . THE BOILER ROOM!!
It was on the far west side of the school, so I took off speeding through the vents as fast as I could go. I needed to make a left, two rights, and then a left. Or was it a right, two lefts, and then a right? I wasn’t really sure, but I wasn’t all that worried.
Hey! What could possibly go wrong when you’re blasting like a rocket through an enclosed vent?!! . . .
Okay, if this were a superhero comic book, it would probably end like this:
HOLY PEPPERONI!
When we last left our hero, he’d crashed through the ventilation system at ninety miles per hour, surprised his evil archnemeses, and totally RUINED their dinner!
Is this the FINAL misadventure of our hero, Max Crumbly?!
Can the computer whiz ERIN help him out of this colossal HOT and CHEESY MESS?!
Is he ACTUALLY going to EAT that slice of PIZZA?!!
Will our courageous hero make it out of South Ridge Middle School ALIVE?!
Or will he be destroyed like a greasy piece of sausage on the half-baked PIZZA CRUST of DOOM?
I bet you can’t believe I’m leaving you hanging, just like they do in my favorite comic books! Sorry, but all I can say at this point is . . .
TO BE CONTINUED!!
Now you know a little about me and my crazy life. Hey, I WISH I was making this stuff up!
I still haven’t quite figured out if it’s HARDER to be a SUPERHERO or a mild-mannered, socially challenged, awkward middle school student known as BARF!
YES! I KNOW I totally MESSED UP! I’m STILL trying to get the HANG of all of this SUPERHERO stuff, okay?
GIVE ME A BREAK! It’s definitely NOT as easy as it looks!
But what I DO know is that I’m going to try to become the AWESOME HERO I’ve always wanted to be.
And if I can do it . . . YOU can TOO!
For MORE Max, be sure to read BOOK TWO:
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I can’t believe that Max Crumbly has FINALLY arrived to save the day!
Let’s start with my superhero team, led by the incredible Batgirl herself, my editorial director, Liesa Abrams Mignogna. I’m thrilled to venture with you into the superhero world, one you know so well. Thank you for sharing your exceptional creative talent as I found my new voice. When malevolent deadlines reared their ugly heads, you pulverized them, and for this I am grateful. Thank you for your endless passion and enthusiasm. Yes, this is all in a day’s work for the bat caped crusader. And Bat Baby helped!
Karin Paprocki, my ingenious art director, who uses her powerful design brilliance to create thrilling covers and exciting layouts. Lesser beings would have succumbed to the pressures of the unknown, but you prevailed. No devious artwork got past your eagle eye. Thank you for working tirelessly to ensure that all Max C. illustrations were awesome.
My managing editor, Katherine Devendorf, who kept everything in perfect alignment and harmony even under the most vicious deadlines. Your command over words makes you a formidable foe to any villainous sentence structure. Thank you for being a brave editorial defender.
Daniel Lazar, my phenomenal, hardworking superagent at Writers House, with telepathic powers and superior intellect. Your uncanny ability to know what I’m thinking and to think outside the box makes working with you a dream. Your literary agent instincts are unrivaled in this universe. Thank you for being my friend, confidant, and courageous supporter.
To my league of superheroes at Aladdin/Simon & Schuster, Mara Anastas, Mary Marotta, Jon Anderson, Julie Doebler, Jennifer Romanello, Faye Bi, Carolyn Swerdloff, Tara Grieco, Lucille Rettino, Matt Pantoliano, Michelle Leo, Candace McManus, Anthony Parisi, Sarah McCabe, Emma Sector, Christina Solazzo, Lauren Forte, Christine Marshall, Crystal Velasquez, Christina Pecorale, Gary Urda, and the entire sales force. You each possess rare powers and abilities to generate supersonic sales and create innovative marketing campaigns. Thanks for your hard work and commitment. You are truly the best team in the publishing universe and a force to be reckoned with.
A special thanks to Torie Doherty-Munro at Writers House; my foreign rights agents Maja Nikolic, Cecilia de la Campa, Angharad Kowal, and James Munro; and Zoé, Marie, and Joy—you are an elite group of crusaders with supernatural abilities. Thanks for being a part of our team.
To Erin, my super-talented coauthor; Nikki, my super-talented illustrator; Kim, my manager (and trusty sidekick); Doris; Don; and my entire family—YOU are my HEROES! With your wisdom, unwavering support, and love, you have made my wildest dreams come true. Thank you for believing in me. Max Crumbly today! And tomorrow . . . the WORLD!
PHOTOGRAPH © BY SUNA LEE
RACHEL RENÉE RUSSELL is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of the blockbuster book series Dork Diaries and the exciting new series The Misadventures of Max Crumbly.
There are more than twenty-five million copies of her books in print worldwide, and they have been translated into thirty-six languages.
She enjoys working with her two daughters, Erin and Nikki, who help write and illustrate her books.
Rachel’s message is “Become the hero you’ve always admired!”
ALADDIN / Simon & Schuster, New York
VISIT US AT SIMONANDSCHUSTER.COM/KIDS
authors.simonandschuster.com/Rachel-Renée-Russell
Also by
RACHEL RENÉE RUSSELL
Dork Diaries: Tales from a Not-So-Fabulous Life
Dork Diaries 2: Tales from a Not-So-Popular Party Girl
Dork Diaries 3: Tales from a Not-So-Talented Pop Star
Dork Diaries 31/2: How to Dork Your Diary
Dork Diaries 4: Tales from a Not-So-Graceful Ice Princess
Dork Diaries 5: Tales from a Not-So-Smart Miss Know-It-All
Dork Diaries 6: Tales from a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker
Dork Diaries OMG!: All About Me Diary!
Dork Diaries 7: Tales from a Not-So-Glam TV Star
Dork Diaries 8: Tales from a Not-
So-Happily Ever After
Dork Diaries 9: Tales from a Not-So-Dorky Drama Queen
Dork Diaries 10: Tales from a Not-So-Perfect Pet Sitter
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This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
ALADDIN * An imprint of Simon & Schuster Children’s Publishing Division * 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020 * www.SimonandSchuster.com * First Aladdin hardcover edition June 2016 * Copyright © 2016 by Rachel Renée Russell * All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. * ALADDIN is a trademark of Simon & Schuster, Inc., and related logo is a registered trademark of Simon & Schuster, Inc. * For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Simon & Schuster Special Sales at 1-866-506-1949 or
[email protected] * The Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau can bring authors to your live event. For more information or to book an event contact the Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau at 1-866-248-3049 or visit our website at www.simonspeakers.com. * Book designed by Karin Paprocki * The text of this book was set in Italo Medium Extended. * Library of Congress Control Number 2016904103 * ISBN 978-1-4814-6001-9 (hc) * ISBN 978-1-4814-6002-6 (eBook)
Rachel Renée Russell, Locker Hero
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