don’t like him ‘cause he doesn’t remember your name.”
“Fuck you. I don’t give a shit if he remembers my name.” She said.
We stared at the band and the wild moshing. My mind was on a million subjects and I was uncomfortable with restless energy. I wished I had my skate so I could spin. I could usually do one and a half or two full turns, but right then I felt like I could do fifty. I needed to move. I started nodding my head in time to the music. I had set my beer down to smoke the joint, and when I remembered it and picked it up again I nearly gagged. It was warm and flat. I puffed my smoke, nodded my head, and tapped my foot. All of a sudden I had the urge to explain time control to someone, but Aloni was snuggled up to Jake, watching the band and Lazlo was in his own world. It occurred to me that I didn’t really know these people. I didn’t know anyone there except the guys making all the noise. I probably wouldn’t see any of them again for the rest of my life. The thought was comforting. “I’ll be right back.” I said.
I walked to the pool house where there was a line for the bathroom. There was a couple in front of me and the girl looked drunk. In front of them was a guy with a backwards baseball cap who obviously had to pee badly. I stepped on my cigarette butt and pulled out another one. It felt like someone else was doing it. It was someone else’s hand bringing the cigarette to someone else’s lips. Someone else flicking the lighter and holding it to the end of a cigarette. It was all far away. I felt supremely confident. The backwards baseball cap guy banged on the bathroom door. “Come on! You been in there twenty minutes.” He yelled. I suppressed a laugh.
Three girls came out of the bathroom, careful not to make eye contact with the door-banger. I watched them walk away. They were acting nonchalant in a hyper way and they had the sniffles. When it was finally my turn, the light in the small room made me feel sick. I thought I could see the individual light particles. It was probably just smoky in there. After I pissed and washed my hands I looked at myself in the mirror. I recognized my face but my eyes were strange -they were bright red and glassed over. Next time you smoke cocaine, toke lightly, I said to my reflection.
As I walked back toward the patio I saw that my new acquaintances had moved to the edge of the mosh area. Scott, Don, and Kid Karl were still going strong, and all three of them were covered in sweat. I stood next to Lazlo and he looked at me and smiled. He was grinding his teeth and throwing little punches in the air to the music. Jake stood beside him with his arm around Aloni. Every once in awhile we had to move back suddenly or duck to avoid getting hit with an elbow or a foot. On the other side of the pit Fly Rob stood in a wide stance with his chest out. He was nodding slowly, as if in approval of the violence. Teef was at the end of his choker barking and snapping. The moshers were keeping their distance from Teef.
I have no idea why he did it. I couldn’t tell you what was going through his mind, although I saw the whole thing. He pulled the dog in close, opened up the choker and slipped it over his head, releasing him. The dog charged into the pit and immediately jumped up and snapped at a big guy in a letterman jacket, just missing him. Everyone in the vicinity looked shocked, and backed up quickly. Rob was laughing. The dog stood in the middle of a growing circle of fear and confusion. Many people continued moshing, unaware of what was going on. The band kept playing.
The dog ran in my direction and I jumped back. He passed me and went straight to Jake and bit into his ankle. Jake screamed as the dog jerked it’s head down twice. It began trying to scramble backwards with Jake’s ankle in it’s teeth. Jake pushed Aloni away, and she started screaming too. There was a moment of blind panic in the crowd as people realized what was happening. Jake managed to kick at the dog with his free foot. Fly Rob walked over with the leash, still trying to maintain his cool posture. When Jake finally got free of the dog and turned to run, it lunged and grabbed his forearm, surprising him and pulling him down to his knees. Aloni screamed louder now, and I saw blood pouring from Jake’s leg. He flailed wildly, but the dog held on and I knew it would go for his throat next.
I didn’t have to make a decision. It was as if I’d merely considered a course of action, and then I was in the middle of doing it. It was scary because I wasn’t in control. Some primitive part of my brain had taken over. I was watching the beast pull Jake to the ground, and then I was stomping it’s abdomen with the full force of my weight. I felt it’s ribs breaking under my foot. The dog screeched and let go. Amazingly, it looked around as if it was going to attack me in spite of having it’s chest caved in. I jumped down with both feet on the dog’s head. I felt it’s skull crack, and I fell backwards onto the cement. I don’t know what happened next. Chaos. There were people running and yelling and Lazlo had me by the shoulders and was saying something to me. “What?” I asked.
“HE WENT TO GET HIS GUN. YOU HAVE TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! HE’S GONNA KILL YOU!”
17
“Steve, thank god you’re home, it’s Nick. Dude, I need a huge favor. There’s a psycho frat-boy who wants to shoot me and I’m fuckin’ stranded in Hollywood.” I said, still catching my breath. Steve started laughing. “I’m not kidding around. Please, you gotta come pick me up. I’ll pay you twenty bucks. Just get me to South Pasadena, I can take a bus from there.”
Steve sighed. “Where in Hollywood?” He asked.
“On Melrose and … Fuck… I can’t see the cross street. La Brea’s near here.” I said. An ambulance and a police car sped by with their sirens wailing.
“Only thing I know on Melrose is that hamburger joint, Sammie’s Spacecraft.” He said. “You know where that is? It’s a few blocks west of La Brea I think.”
“Okay man, I can find it. Listen, are you on your way? This guy seriously wants to kill me.” He started laughing. “IT’S NOT FUCKING FUNNY. I’m not kidding.”
“I can be there in an hour.” He said.
“An HOUR? What the fuck?”
“I’m in the middle of something. I’ll meet you at Sammie’s Spacecraft in an hour.” He said. “Your ass is lucky I’m doing that. I hate driving in Hollywood.”
“Alright, I’ll see you, in an hour.” I said.
I heard him say “You’re welcome” as I hung up the phone. Another police cruiser went by with it’s siren on. I knew it must be headed toward the aftermath of the party. The feeling of the dog’s head cracking under my feet was stuck in my mind. It was like someone else had done it through me. I was scared of myself. What else was I capable of? Maybe I’d had an out-of-body experience like the new-age people talk about. I was sure that I was losing my mind.
There was no time to think too deeply on it, I had more immediate concerns. I was sure that Fly Rob would drive up in an expensive car and put a hole in my head at any moment. My salvation was that there was so much traffic leaving the party, he probably couldn’t get out of his driveway. If he did get out, and the cops didn’t intercept him first, he could find me easily. It must’ve been one thirty in the morning and there was hardly anyone on the street. I walked close to the buildings and kept my hands in my pockets and my head down. Every car that passed sent my heart racing. I expected to be gunned down at any moment.
The farther down Melrose I went, the more crowded it got. It seemed to be a nightclub area, and there were lots of sketchy-looking people staggering to their cars or smoking in little groups. I passed some kids with green and purple hair and a couple of skinheads. It wasn’t the kind of crowd you could get lost in, but it made me feel safer. If he shot me here, at least there would be witnesses. I saw Sammie’s Spacecraft, which is a fifties style diner with lots of chrome edging, like on an old Cadillac. Their sign looked like a flying saucer. The place was full of people who must have come from bars all over Hollywood to have a late-night burger. I considered sitting down and having a cup of coffee, but I thought I would be too exposed sitting alone. The place had big windows, so if Fly Rob came driving by, he’d see me in there.
I continued walking, careful to keep my face turned slightly a
way from the traffic going by. There was a store that was still open, so I decided to go in and kill some time. It was an adult bookstore -a porn shop. I guess I must have looked eighteen because no one even noticed when I walked in. I’d been in places like this before, and about half the time I was asked to produce ID. It was brightly lit and smelled of stale cigarette smoke and cleaning products.
There were rows and rows of videos divided into sections by little signs. There was oral, anal, lesbian, gay, bisexual, group, S&M, masturbation, shaved, hairy, mature, just eighteen, she-male, tranny, classics, loving couple, fatties, animation, golden showers and special interest. There was a rack against the wall that had every porno magazine you’ve ever heard of, plus some. They even had some imports from Germany, the Netherlands and Italy. Next to the magazines were the dildos and vibrators which came in an astounding assortment of shapes and colors. They had day-glow pink and purple, various flesh-tones, white, orange, glow in the dark, and pitch black. There were small ones that were only a few inches long and gigantic three foot monsters with heads on both ends. There was a vibrator cleverly disguised as a dolphin sculpture, tongue shaped vibrators, vibrating