In the back of the ambulance, Ali is still out of sorts. The paramedic said that I could ride with her until we get to the hospital. He said there’d be no guarantee that we’d get to stay together while Ali gets fixed up. He cleans up my own face, and then starts to wrestle with Ali, making sure she’s as comfortable as she can be. I don’t think anything could make her comfortable right now.
The paramedic finished hooking Ali’s arm up to the IV and moved to the front of the ambulance to let us have our privacy in the back. He didn’t recommend it, but he caved after I explained what happened and that we were together. It was actually the first time I’ve ever been able to mention to another living human being that Ali and I are together as a couple. Even though, technically we’re not. A girl could dream, right?
I reach for Ali’s hand but she’s slightly faster than I am. I’m terrified I’m going to hurt her just by touching her. She clutches my cold fingers first. “Is he still following us?” she asks me softly, writhing at the pain the slight movement caused.
“I don’t think so. I saw him pull away from the side when he saw us looking up at him.” At least that was the truth. I hate that I’ve been lying to Ali so much. I feel just as terrible knowing that I’m going to have to keep the acts up, too.
“So, he knows we’re still alive,” she says while she tries to scrape away the dried blood from my hand. She doesn’t have to explain to me why she said this. I know she’s worried that he’ll be back. I’m worried about the same thing. This isn’t one of those things we can just magically put out of our minds even if we do try to.
“Unfortunately, yes.” Ali looks at me with knowing eyes. I don’t think either of us really expected for any of this to happen. It wasn’t supposed to go this far. We were supposed to get safely away and move on with our lives. We wanted to be invisible to everyone. We wanted to be forgotten. I don’t think Tom is going to let any of that happen. If this was his doing, he’s made that answer quite apparent.
“Did you see who he was?” Ali asks, looking down at the tubing that protrudes from her vein. Blood trickles down the side of her arm near where the needle went in.
“I saw him, but I don’t know who he is.” I don’t think to mention that he’s probably been sent by Tom. I don’t want to do any more damage than what has already been done. The less she worries and thinks the better off she’ll be. “I’m sorry that this happened, Ali. It’s completely my fault. If we would have just stayed…”
“Don’t be sorry. We couldn’t have stayed and you know it. We’re in this together,” she cuts me off abruptly. She lets out a cry from the pain in her chest and bends in a half attempted version of the fetal position.
I know she doesn’t want to hear what I’m going to say next, but I have to say it anyway. I need to get it off my chest.
“But I never meant for you to get hurt.”
“Listen,” Ali says sternly as she fails to sit up in the gurney, “I’m fine. We’re fine. We’re both still alive. All that matters is that I’m here and you’re here and we’re together. We’re alive.” She breaks down into a sobbing mess of tears and torn clothing.
“Ali, you’re not fine. You’re hurt and it’s my fault,” I say.
I lean over and hug her as gently as I can. The paramedic says it’s likely that she sustained a few broken ribs. She’ll definitely need stitches to close the wound from when her head hit the dashboard. My nose has already been fixed by the EMT that was with the paramedic. If that hurt as much as it did, I can’t image the agony that poor Ali must be going through right now.
This is the worst part, I think. I barely have a scuff on my forehead and a busted nose. I never wanted Ali to get hurt. I’d do anything to take her pain away. All I have to deal with is a broken nose and a couple of scratches on my forehead. She may have a concussion and all kinds of other issues. What if she died there in that car? I should never have gotten her into this mess with me. If I would have just stayed there at the church, Ali would have been safe and completely unharmed.
I’m torn over all of this. If I would have stayed, Ali and I wouldn’t be able to be together. I know Tom wouldn’t even consider letting me be her friend. Don’t get me wrong, he has no clue about how much I love her, but he’s obviously the jealous, vindictive type. But, if we would have stayed, she’d be safe and free to live the life she wants. Neither of us would be running. I feel nauseated and confused.
“Ali,” I start to say, but she puts her hand up to my mouth so that I can’t continue to say anything else. I just wish she would let me get it all out. I should invest in a notebook or something.
“Val, stop. Everything is going to be okay,” she says to me. I know how this works though. It’s the same thing I always say to her when I don’t know how things are going to end up. I try to put a strong face on for her to see. I know that I’m not a very good liar. She can see right through me.
She moves my face close to hers so that she can see my brown eyes look deep into her sky blues. “Everything is going to be okay,” she repeats. Just as I go to look down at the floor-- my tell-all sign that I know it’s not true-- she lifts my chin and puts her soft, sweet lips to mine.
CHAPTER 9
Moving Forward With Bumps and Bruises