Della shook her head, then laughed. "Okay, fine. But be nice. Jimmy needs help. "
"Eat with us," I told her.
"Cant, I have to place an order for new aprons and theres an issue with the hot-tea button on the machine. I have to get the service guy here to fix it. "
"You have to eat," I told her.
"Im eating a late lunch with Blaire," she informed me, then grinned. "Now, let me work, boss. "
I lowered my head to her ear. "Call me boss again and were gonna end up in a cleaning closet real damn fast. "
Della shoved away from me, laughing as she walked off.
I loved that girl.
Page 10
Della
Blaire had called and asked me to have lunch with her that day. I hadnt spoken to her since the incident with Angelina except for the few times Id seen her with Rush around the club. It was odd because I felt like we had a bond now that wed faced down Angelina together. Shed been my hero that night. She made me want to be tough. I wasnt tough and I wanted to be so bad.
I walked out of Woodss old office, which hed moved me into and told me to decorate any way I wanted. Blaire was headed toward me.
"You even have an office now," Blaire said, smiling brightly. I had to admit I loved having an office. Specifically this office. I had many good memories there. I didnt intend to change anything about it.
"Yes, I feel very official," I replied.
"Good. Im glad Woods has you. Youre perfect for him. "
I didnt agree with her. He could have done better---so much better---but I was working toward being good enough. Strong enough. Tough enough.
"Ready for lunch?" I asked, wanting to change the subject.
"Im starving. Nate isnt sleeping as much as he used to. He keeps me busy but its wonderful. Downside is, I dont have a lot of time to eat. When Rush is home he helps out a ton and makes sure I have time to eat. Anyway, Im ready for a baby-free meal. "
Nate was Rush and Blaires baby boy. He was an adorable mixture of the two of them. I didnt normally think guys with piercings and that rough rock star look were attractive, but Rush Finlay holding a baby in his arms was very nice to look at.
"Is Rush with Nate now?" I asked as we walked to the dining room.
"Yes. Theyre going fishing, which means Nate is going to sit on a blanket and eat sand, if he can get to the edge of the blanket, and Rush is going to fish for about five minutes before realizing he cant fish and watch Nate at the same time. Then hell stop fishing and theyll sit at the edge of the water and let their feet get wet. "
The happiness in Blaires voice was unmistakable. Rush Finlay made her happy. She made him happy. That was what I had with Woods but it was different. Rush could leave her alone with their baby and not worry about her zoning out and getting lost in her head. He could love her and not worry that his baby would inherit her mental illness. Their love was easy. It was the kind that would go the distance. What Woods and I had wasnt.
Every time I saw Rush holding his baby, I wanted that for Woods. The proud look in his eyes and joy on his face. I couldnt give him that.
"You okay?" Blaires voice broke into my thoughts and I forced a smile.
"Im sorry. Work on the brain. I promise to shut it off and be a good lunch date," I assured her.
"As long as its work thats causing that distressed look on your face," Blaire replied, sounding like she didnt believe me.
I hadnt been brave enough to talk to my best friend, Braden, about this. She loved me fiercely and thought I could do no wrong. She also thought I could be a mother and stable wife. She lived in a fairy tale that I didnt allow myself to step into. Would Blaire be the same way, or would she see my side and understand my fears?
The hostess snapped to attention when she saw me and led us to Woodss table. He had told the staff in the dining room that his table should be available at my convenience.
"Oh, we get the good table," Blaire said, grinning, as we sat down. "I guess youre the boss now, too. "
"Woods made a big deal out of them always seating me here. " I felt myself blush and Blaire laughed.
"Thats sweet," she said.
I wasnt sure how to respond to that. It was sweet. Woods was always sweet. He was impossible to get mad at. Even when he deserved it. Like when he made the new server, Ken, almost pee his pants for talking to me.
Jimmy came strutting out of the kitchen, grinning at us.
"Looks like were going to get special service, too," I said, nodding my head toward Jimmy.
"Well, hello, my beauties. I didnt know I was gonna get this lucky today," he said with a southern drawl that made most women drool over him.
"Hello, Jimmy," Blaire said.
"You broke loose from baby duty, I see," he teased.
"Its never a duty," she replied.
"Sweet tea for both of you?" he asked.
"Sparkling mineral water for me," Blaire told him.
His eyebrows shot up and then he laughed. "Well look at Alabama getting all sophisticated with her water choices. Damn, baby girl, I remember when you drank water out of the tap. "
Blaire laughed. "Its better for the baby than soda or tea. Thats all. "
"Mmm-hmm, next youre gonna be ordering sushi with that raw shit in it," he said, shaking his finger at her. Then he shot us both a wink and turned to head back to the kitchen.
"Hes a mess," Blaire said with fondness in her tone.
"Yes he is, but he runs the kitchen so well. I dont know what wed do without him. "
Blaire leaned back in her seat and crossed her legs. "Youd beg and plead with him to come back. Thats what youd do. "
She knew exactly how important he was. She had once been a server there, too. Jimmy had been her first friend in Rosemary. The story went that she came into town looking for her daddy and found her daddys new wifes son instead. Rush Finlay wasnt a fan of her father and disliked her on the spot. But he let her live in the maids room while she worked for Woods and made some money until her dad got back from France with Rushs mom.
Rush treated her poorly but ended up falling for her against his will. They had more pain to work through in the end and a lie that tore them apart. I wouldnt have believed any of it seeing them now, but Bethy had told me all about it. Shed been Blaires friend through it all.
"Did my gun effectively run off the wicked witch, or did Woods do that?" Blaire asked.
"I think it was your gun and the fact that she was scared of what Woods would do once he found out. She left that night and we havent seen or heard from her since. Mrs. Kerrington isnt very happy with Woods about the whole thing. She blames him for her leaving. "
"Youre welcome to tell her that it was all me," Blaire said with a smile.
"Thank you, but I dont think it will matter. She doesnt approve of me. She wants Angelina for Woods. "
Blaire sighed. "I understand that. I have a mother-in-law who hates me so badly she hasnt even seen her only grandchild. "
Blaire was poised and beautiful. She wasnt dealing with something like a mental illness, so you would think her mother-in-law would have loved her. But she represented something to Rushs mother that couldnt ever go away. It was part of the dark past she shared with Blaires dad.
"I heard Rushs dad was in town last week visiting Nate," I said, remembering how the entire club had talked nonstop about the drummer from Slacker Demon being in town. He was a legend, just like the rock band he was a part of.
"Yes. Dean is a wonderful grandfather. It is a bit surreal to see him cuddling with Nate and singing to him. Nate adores the man. I love to watch Rushs face while he witnesses his dad with his son. It brings me to tears every time. "
"I would imagine that is special," I replied. I didnt have parents who would see any child I might have one day. If I ever felt safe enough to have a child.
Page 11
Woods
My mother was driving me nuts. She
was lonely. I understood that. With Angelina gone, she spent most of her time alone. Mother had never done well alone. I had seen her at the club playing tennis with a few of her friends earlier in the week. She had put on a good show for them, treating me like she was proud of me. But I knew she was still mad at me. Id been going along with her acting all my life.
I had sent Della to my office to organize some files on my desk that didnt really need organizing. I just wanted her safely out of the way while Mother was here. I wasnt sure my mom could act as if she liked Della. And I wasnt going to have Della hurt or embarrassed.
The rest of the staff loved Della. When they saw her coming, everyone became happier and nicer. They didnt want to let her down. Whatever had been wrong the moment before they were willing to fix. It was helping me out a shit-ton. My jealousy over the fact that the males on my staff bent over backward to make her smile was difficult. But then who wouldnt want to make Della happy? I couldnt be mad at them for that. As long as they kept their hands off of her.
"Wheres Della?" Marco, our golf pro, asked as he walked into the clubhouse.
"Why do you need Della?" I asked, reminding myself that this man was happily married.
"She was working on getting me a sub for next week. Theyre inducing Jill on Monday and I want to be with her and the baby the first week. "
"I have her working on something. Ill check to make sure she has a sub for you. You should be with your wife and child," I replied.
"Thanks, Mr. Kerrington," he replied, and nodded before heading over to grab a water from the cooler.
The back door swung open and Vince stood there, looking wide-eyed. "Mr. Kerrington, sir, you need to come quick. "
It was Della. I knew that look. She was having one of her episodes. Shit!
I ran for the door. "Where is she?" I asked him.
"In your office, sir. She came up to see you and then your mom stopped by. I tried to call you but it went to voice mail. Your mom went into the office to talk to Della. After she came out I heard Della whimpering. I knocked, sir, but she didnt respond so I went in. "
"Thats enough. I know the rest. Dont tell anyone about this, do you understand?" I waited until he nodded before I sprinted across the parking lot into the main offices. My mother is off her damn leash. Fuck! I shouldnt have left Della alone for so long.
Several people called my name as I ran for the stairs, not wanting to wait on the damn elevator. Taking the stairs two at a time, I reached the third floor in less than a minute. My office door was closed and I was thankful Vince hadnt left her exposed to whoever walked up there.
I swung the door open and scanned the room until I found her sitting against the wall with her knees pulled up to her chin. Her arms were wrapped around her legs and she was rocking back and forth, whimpering. I hated seeing her like this. Shed been doing so well. Her night terrors had eased off; she hadnt experienced any in a month, at least.
"Della. " I called her name as I walked over to her, hoping she could hear me and my voice would draw her out. I bent down beside her and pulled her into my arms. She was stiff and cold.
"No, no, no, no, no," she chanted over and over.
"I have you, sweetheart. Youre in my arms. I have you, Della. Shh, its okay. Come back to me, baby. Please come back to me. Im right here and I have you. " I whispered in her ear how much I loved her; I wasnt going to let her go until her body started to ease.
Slowly, her arms loosened their grip around her legs and wrapped around me, and then she buried her face in my neck. She was back. I continued to tell her she was wonderful and she was mine and I would take care of her. Reassuring her reassured me that I had her. That she was here and I could take care of her. I had let her take on too much responsibility because she was good at it. I had started letting her work longer and I was checking on her less. This was my fault. My mother would never have gotten to her if I had been watching her closer.
"Im sorry," Della said in a teary voice against my chest.
"Dont say that," I replied as I ran my hand over her hair and down her back. "Please, baby, dont say that. I hate for you to think you have to say that. "
She sniffled. "I need to be stronger. I want to be stronger. I want to be tough. "
Did she not realize how fucking tough she was? She had lived a horror story for sixteen years of her life that had ended even more horrifically. And she still laughed and found reasons to smile. She was brave enough to live life, even after enduring the monsters that had terrorized her in her room as a child. And they werent pretend. Shed faced real monsters and she had survived. There was no one as fucking tough as this woman.
"Della, you are tougher than anyone I know. Just because you have to protect yourself sometimes and fade away from me doesnt make you weak. Youre a survivor. You are my inspiration and I love you. No matter what, I love you. "
Della clung tighter to me. My mother had upset her. I would deal with her. She wouldnt get close to Della again, even if I had to ban her from the club. This would stop. I was done with my family hurting what was mine.
We sat there in silence. Della let me hold her as close as I needed to. She let me kiss her head and hands and run my hands over her arms and back to reassure myself she was okay.
The knock on the door ended our peace and quiet. Della started to move out of my lap but I held her to me. I was going to ignore whoever it was. Vince should have been out there by now.
"Is everything okay, sir?" Vince asked from the other side of the door.
"Yes, were fine," I replied.
Della tilted her head back to look up at me. "Did he see me?"
I nodded. I didnt want to lie to her, even though I knew she hated for people to see her when she was like that.
"Hes going to think Im insane," she said with a defeated sigh.
I grabbed her chin and made her look up at me. "No, he wont. You arent insane. You are intelligent, lovable, and beautiful. But you are not insane. You lived through hell and you beat it, Della. Most people cant overcome something like what youve overcome. Dont ever think youre less than amazing. "
A small smile tugged at the corners of her lips. "You just love me," she said.
"More than life," I replied before pressing my lips to hers.
Page 12
Della
Woods hadnt left me alone since my blackout yesterday. I knew he had work to do. I also had work to do, but he was keeping me by his side at home. Every time I mentioned going into the office, he did something to distract me. Oral sex on the kitchen counter had been his first tactic, and it worked. I had forgotten about anything but the way he made me feel.
Then hed caught me sneaking off to take a shower when he was on a work-related phone call. I mentioned that we needed to get ready, and then hed taken me against the shower wall. After he cut the water off and carried me to bed, wed made love again.
Now he was outside on the phone again. I knew he was dealing with work from home and it only proved my point that I was hindering him. My weakness was a weight on him, but I wanted to help him. When he opened the door and stepped inside, I started to tell him that we should really go to work. I was going to fight off any sexual advances he tried to use to keep me there.
"That was Vince. I have two board members in my office that my mother contacted about some things she knows nothing about. I need to go into work to deal with them. I should be back in two hours max," he said before the door closed behind him.
He wasnt going to let me go. "I could go to work, too. There are things I didnt get done yesterday. "
"No. Ive got to concentrate on this meeting, and knowing youre there will distract me. Ill be worried about you. Just stay here and I promise Ill come right back. "
He pressed a kiss to my lips before walking to the bedroom to get dressed. I stood there and let his words sink in. He was taking my job away. He was going to keep me here again. He was afraid of my being at work and having one of
my episodes.
I had been working so hard to be tough. To ease his worries. One bad day and he had me in a glass box again. This wasnt fair. I wanted to live. I loved being close to him and having a purpose, knowing I was helping him. Staying here all the time was lonely. I couldnt do this again.
He walked out of the bedroom dressed in a suit and smiled at me. "Well eat at that Italian place you love in Seaside tonight," he told me, as if that made this all okay.
Instead of telling him how I felt, I just nodded and kissed him back, then watched him leave. I didnt fight back. I just let him decide what I was going to do. This wasnt tough. Blaire wouldnt have let Rush do this. She would have fought back. She would have turned Alabama badass on him and gotten her way.
I had to show Woods that I could do this. Id had one slipup but I was bigger than that. I could keep working. He needed me there. I was helping him. I was good at it.
I went to the bedroom and got ready for work.
Facing Woods while he was in a meeting wasnt a wise decision. Instead, I finished the work I hadnt completed yesterday. I managed to schedule a stand-in golf pro, ordered new golf carts to replace two of our older ones, and met with the manager of the golf course, Darla, about using new vendors for snacks and adding some new beers.
It was three hours before I had a chance to meet with Woods. He hadnt called me yet so he wasnt even aware that he had gone over his two hours. Either he was still in a meeting or he was so swamped with work he had lost track of time.
Vince smiled at me with relief in his face when I walked off the elevator. "Miss Della, Im so glad youre back today. Youve been missed. "
I needed to go ahead and deal with this thing with Vince. "Thank you," I said, stopping at his desk. "About yesterday, Vince, Im sorry you saw me like that. Im very thankful you went and got Woods for me. I have those episodes sometimes and I work hard to control them, but I didnt do a good job yesterday. "
He held up his hand to stop me. "I dont need an explanation. If you need me Im here. Dont you concern yourself with what I saw. Thats between us and only us. "
Tears stung my eyes and I only managed to nod. I glanced at the closed door to Woodss office. "Is he in there?"
Vince shook his head. "No, he left about fifteen minutes ago. He said hed be back in thirty minutes for a conference call hes expecting. "