Tamiko couldn’t help but be distracted a bit as she waited in the hallway of room 415. Nervous energy had her shifting her weight from one foot to another swaying back and forth, and fumbling about with the assessment binder she was holding. It wasn’t the anticipation of the meeting that made her tense. Today, Tim was supposed to get the results of his biopsy. Tamiko tried to keep her mind on the meeting, but she couldn’t help but think about Tim and what he was going through at this moment, sitting in the waiting room of New York Presbyterian waiting for the news.
Tim’s appointment was for 1:30. He tried to get a later appointment so Tamiko would be able to be with him, but the doctor’s schedule would not allow it. Tamiko wanted to be there to keep Tim positive, because she knew how pessimistic he could be. She wanted to help Tim keep his eyes focused on God and what He could do, and not on the disease.
Suddenly the door opened and Tamiko was brought back to the reality of the present moment. Joan came out smiling, casting an awkward glance toward Tamiko.
“Hi, Tamiko”, she offered flippantly before passing by without another word.
“Hi, Joan”, replied Tamiko. As Tamiko’s unpopularity with the administration grew, she and Joan grew further apart. It seemed that Joan didn’t even want to be seen with Tamiko at lunch any more. Tamiko was hurt at first, but then she decided not to let herself get to caught up in her emotions. She was just glad to learn what kind of person Joan was before she put too much trust in her.
Tamiko went into the room and sat in the seat that Joan vacated. She wasn’t too worried about the meeting this month because this time a lot of her kids had made significant progress. Tamiko did not forget to take time to thank God for his guidance and mercy in making this happen. In fact, two of her lowest students moved five levels each in reading and seemed on their way to approaching grade level benchmarks for reading and math which was quite an accomplishment for them. Tamiko thought that given this fact, the faces about her would be more cheerful, but they were not. The only one who seemed to be in any kind of a good mood at all was Mrs. Steele.
“Good afternoon, Miss Bynum”, Principal Stone said gravely to start the meeting.
“Good afternoon.”
“Your students have made a lot of progress since the last meeting”, beamed Mrs. Steele. “I was telling the others that I was impressed with the growth of your students.”
“Thank You. I don’t think the students would have done half as well if God hadn’t blessed me to be able to work with you”, was Tamiko’s reply.
“Yes. It almost seems too good to be true”, sneered Nettlenerves.
“I’ll say. Five levels is a lot of movement for a child in one month. Some of our best teachers haven’t seen that type of movement. It’s very unusual to say the least”, Booker added with a hint of suspicion.
“I don’t think so. Miss Fields, had a student who moved 7 levels in a month, and no one found it unusual”, Mrs. Steele said in Tamiko’s defense.
“That was isolated to one student. In this case, there are several. Even you have to admit it seems highly irregular”, countered Nettlenerves.
“Well, you’ve seen the running records and the other assessments. They speak for themselves don’t they?” asked Tamiko.
“I’m more interested in what you have to say Miss Bynum. Why don’t you explain what you’ve been doing in the classroom to precipitate this sudden change?” Stone suggested with a hint of sarcasm.
Tamiko explained what she had been doing in elaborate detail beginning with the observations lessons and mentoring she had received from Mrs. Steele and how she used this to change her lesson plans and revise her teaching with regard to word study, centers, and guided reading. She spoke of the various talents and strengths she noticed in particular students and how she used what she had learned to design lessons that would use student’s strengths to help them overcome weaknesses, and in the process, develop new skills for learning.
“You seem to know your students really well and it shows”, Mrs. Steele lauded.
“Yes, so it seems. I’m sure they’ve made progress, but we have to be careful when administering assessments. Sometimes our own subjectivity can tarnish the results. Just to be on the safe side, I think we should have Mrs. Bedford the reading specialist go in and re-assess some of the children, especially those who seemed to move more than two levels” said Principal Stone as she glared at Tamiko.
“That’s a good idea. I think we can get the math resource room teacher to re-test some of the children with the Math assessment as well”, Booker put in.
“Yes, we must always take caution on the side of error”, said Stone, focusing a laser like stare toward Tamiko.
Tamiko struggled to hide her shock and disbelief. They were accusing her of fudging her students’ records! They had some nerve! They badgered her for months because her students did not do as well as other teachers, and then when they were learning and doing well, they still found fault! “This school is like the twilight zone!” Tamiko thought to herself. Part of her wanted to tell them off, but she remembered what kind of person God wanted her to be and she also remembered what Mrs. Steele had told her. “Lord, God, keep my mouth and my tongue from uttering something that I shouldn’t”, Tamiko prayed inside herself.
“That’s fine with me. I’m sure they will do well”, replied Tamiko with confidence.
“Once the assessments have been completed, we will meet again. Thank you for your time Miss. Bynum. You are dismissed”, remarked Stone coldly.
“Have a nice day everyone.”
Tamiko took her assessment binder and left, at the same time trying to staunch the anger and indignation that had welled up inside of her. “I really shouldn’t be surprised by now,” Tamiko thought to herself. Ordinarily, the thought of having her children assessed by someone else would have rattled her, but she knew that this was just another test that God was putting her through. It was God that had helped her to understand her students, who opened her eyes to who they were and what their needs were. It was God that enlightened the students understanding so they could learn. If God had brought her this far, then she knew He would continue to be with her, even through this inquisition that they were imposing upon her.
Tamiko went back upstairs to her class to finish the lessons for the day. The guided math cluster teacher was covering Tamiko for the assessment meeting and had started the lesson that Tamiko had planned. When Tamiko got back the children were in the middle of the math centers activities and groups of children rotated through the centers, taking turns practicing different skills until all of the groups had completed all of the activities. Tamiko was actually thankful for the hustle and bustle of her work at this moment. The classroom required all of her attention and didn’t allow her mind to wander onto other things. Once math centers was over there was a read aloud, and then she would review tonight’s homework with the children, hand out the behavior chart colors and rewards and then have the children line up for dismissal. Then during dismissal, Tamiko had to learn to have eyes in the back of her head to make sure the children stayed in place and that each child was picked up by someone who was responsible for them. She stayed in her ‘alert’ mode until the last child was picked up. When she finally came up for air, it was
3:15. Tamiko left the gym where the children were dismissed and went back upstairs to her classroom and checked her cell phone. Tim hadn’t called her. He should have gotten word from the doctor by now. She then called Tim to see what had happened. All she got was his voicemail. He still couldn’t be at the doctor, could he?
Tamiko gathered her belongings and went downstairs. On her way to the office to sign out she ran into Mrs. Steele.
“Tamiko, I’m so sorry about what happened at the meeting today.”
“That’s okay, Ros. I know it’s not your fault.”
“I tried to talk them out of re-testing the students, but they just wouldn’t listen.”
“Don’t worry about
it. I’m not. It’s like you said, the students will prove me right by what they can do. And no one can take back the knowledge God has given them.”
“Good for you, Tamiko. That’s the way to think. And by the way, I was really proud of the way you handled them in there. They were hoping to break you, but you didn’t flinch.”
“I had help. God was with me.”
“And He sure was working. Well, I have to go. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“See you, Rosalyn, and thanks for standing up for me.”
“Anytime, my dear.”
Tamiko left her and signed out. Then she walked up the block to the train station and headed to her grad school class at Bankstreet College. It was raining lightly now, but since the walk wasn’t long Tamiko didn’t bother getting the umbrella out of her bag, but simply tucked her hair underneath her hat so it wouldn’t get wet. Before she went underground to the platform, she tried Tim’s cell one more time. Still, nothing but the voicemail, so Tamiko left a brief message telling him to call her in an hour when she was out of the subway. Now she was worried.
Tamiko went down the stairs to the station entrance where she went to the turnstile, swiped her fare card and then headed down another flight of stairs to the platform. As she descended, she wondered why Tim wasn’t answering. Was he still with the doctor? Did he get bad news? He said he’d been having trouble with his vision lately. Did he have an accident? When Tamiko had last seen Tim, she was helping him home from the hospital after the biopsy. She remembered him being really quiet, and kind of sad. She hoped that today’s news hadn’t led him to do something desperate. Tamiko recalled what he had said when he told her about Preston’s melt down. Tim had said that there were times when he felt suicidal. She hoped he didn’t feel that way now. Didn’t he know that he could talk to her or Allen, or even better, he could talk to God about how he was feeling? Tamiko desperately hoped Tim was all right.
“Heavenly Father, please be with my friend, Tim, right now. He’s going through so much with his job and now this disease. Please keep him in his right mind and help him make right decisions. Let him know that You are with him and ease any pain or grief that he might be going through right now. Help him to keep his eyes on You and let him know he can trust in You. In Jesus name. Amen.”
After her short prayer, Tamiko still felt burdened in her spirit. She knew she couldn’t go to school like she planned. Tamiko went past her usual stop and transferred to a local train so she could stop by Tim’s place to see if he was home. When she came out of the station, she discovered the light rainfall had changed over to snow. The stairs of the subway exit had become slippery and her leather high-heeled boots were no match for them under these conditions. When she had finally made it up the stairs and onto the street, she was nearly knocked down by a ferocious gust of wind that pelted her with tiny ice crystals. They stung her face like little shards of glass, and Tamiko had no choice but to bring out her umbrella. She teetered, tottered and wobbled for a few steps in the thickening slush, before taking cover under a bus shelter to gather her bearings. Tamiko took out her cell phone. It was now 4:15. She checked to see if she had any messages. There were none. She put her cell phone back into her coat pocket, slung her school bag over her shoulder, adjusted the umbrella and headed the rest of the way to the New Towers.
Tamiko was out of breath when she arrived, after fighting five long blocks through the worsening snowstorm. She barely had enough breath to greet Bradley the doorman.
“Good afternoon Miss Bynum, what brings you out in this weather?”
“I know it’s pretty bad out there”, said Tamiko trying to be nonchalant, “Is Tim in? Did you see him come in?”
“I was on break from 12:00 to 1:00, but since I came back, I haven’t seen him. But sometimes he slips by me if I’m signing for a package or something. I’ll page upstairs for you to be sure.”
“Thank you, so much.”
Bradley picked up the intercom phone and dialed Tim’s apartment. Tamiko followed his every movement. Her heart leapt higher in her throat with every moment of silence.
“Seems he’s not there. Sorry. Would you like to leave a message for
him?”
“No, that won’t be necessary. But thanks for your help, Bradley.”
Tamiko walked over to the waiting area and took out her cell phone.
She called Allen.
“Hello.”
“Allen, it’s Miko.”
“You’re lucky you got me. I thought my phone was off. You do
know I’m at work?” “Allen, this is important. You know Tim was supposed to get his
results today, right?”
“He called you?”
“That’s the problem. He hasn’t called me, and when I call him it just
goes to his voicemail. I even came all the way to his apartment, but no one’s seen him. I’m really worried”, Tamiko’s voice began to choke up.
“Tamiko, relax. Do you know when his appointment was for?”
“1:30 and now it’s almost 4:30. That’s like three hours ago.”
“That’s not that much time. Calm down. You know how long they can make you wait at the doctor’s office.”
“But three hours? What if he got bad news and got really depressed and decided to do something crazy.”
“Miko, I’ve lived with him for more than a year, and I think I know what he’s capable of. If he got bad news he might get into a funk and go sulk somewhere, but I don’t think he’d do anything crazy.”
“Allen, it’s not like he’s been dumped by some girl! This is a life and death issue he’s dealing with! Can you really say what he would do in a situation like this?”
“Miko, trust me. Go to school. If he’s in a mood, you probably won’t want to find him.”
“How can you say that! He probably needs us right now.”
“Or maybe the brother just needs space.”
“What if you’re wrong? I just feel this burden in my spirit like something’s not right.”
“Listen, I get off in about half an hour. If it will make you feel better, I will go out and check a few spots where he might be at, make a few phone calls, and get back to you. But there’s one condition. You have to go to school.”
“Fine. I’ll go, but that doesn’t mean I won’t worry.”
Sixty-Three