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had climbed down and checked that Carl really was asleep. Making certain of that, he had then shuffled sleepily to the door and cracked it open, sitting with his back against the wall to hear better.
It wasn’t that Remy was a voyeur– not in many senses of the word anyway–
it simply helped his peace of mind to know that if Shawn called out for help he could be there before too much blood spilled. The last thing he wanted was for Brandt to try to kill the man before they even got under way.
Despite his nonchalance over the whole matter so far, there was only one
person in the world Remy trusted, and that was Shawn Bennett. He couldn’t have
anything happening to him and he would intervene if he heard the slightest hint of trouble.
Thankfully, nothing of the sort was necessary. He remained awake long after
the noises from Shawn’s room died, despite his exhaustion. Their remote location
notwithstanding, Remy figured it wouldn’t do to let their guard down completely.
Did it bother him that Shawn was even now curled in a single bed with
another man? It probably would have if theirs was a normal relationship. But theirs was not a normal relationship, and it didn’t bother Remy. Much. They’d each had
their share of partners while on the job, and they’d both enjoyed many of the trysts.
He knew getting Brandt under control and keeping him there was a
necessity, and he agreed with Shawn that the best thing to do would be to simply
distract the man with something better than his explosives. Remy knew from his
experience with other pyromaniacs that if it didn’t blow up or flame, it had better be fuckable. And Remy wasn’t particularly interested in being blown up. He had to smile at the way Shawn handled it, though. Behave yourself and get a treat. Remy snorted in amusement.
He knelt in front of the fire and poked at the ashes absently as he mulled
over the coming mission. For the first time in his career, Remy found himself
regretting the intel he’d gathered. Usually the intelligence was just a bunch of facts you had to put in proper places, like pieces of a puzzle. But the information Remy put together in preparation for this mission seemed to tell its own story before Remy could even try to decipher the pieces. Whether it was real or imagined on Remy’s
part, it caused the mission itself to have a strange feeling to it, like the end to something.
He even knew what that something was.
Remy loved what he did. He loved the adventure and the danger and the
subterfuge. He loved the mind games and loved the challenges he faced with every
mission. He couldn’t imagine living any other way. He knew that would probably
change in due time. He could see it in the older operatives. Shawn and Thiago, while both still very capable, both looked and acted weary at times.
A sudden wave of melancholy swept over Remy as he thought about the day
that Shawn would retire. It was coming.
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What would he do with himself then?
The soft creak of a floorboard alerted Remy to another’s presence, but he
remained motionless, poking idly at the ashes of the fire. It took a great deal of effort not to be completely on guard out here. Old habits died hard. But Remy was doing his best to remain casual and easy in the presence of the others.
From the light, tentative tread of the steps, Remy suspected it was Thiago
standing behind him, and Thiago was the last person he wanted to seem jumpy
around.
“I see Everett refrained from playing in the fire,” Thiago’s soft voice
observed directly over Remy’s shoulder. If Thiago expected to get a startle response of some sort, he would be disappointed this morning. Remy knew he should play up
the appearance of ineptitude he’d been cultivating, but he just didn’t have the energy at that particular moment. He had to stop depressing himself with thoughts of the future and try to stay in the present.
“I gave him a break around 0400,” Remy said simply, a half-truth at best. He
turned his head and looked up at Thiago. He looked tired, and Remy wondered if he too heard the deal struck in the early hours of the morning and decided to stand his own guard as Remy did.
“Wouldn’t do to have the fire going all night,” Thiago said approvingly as he
met Remy’s eyes. “Must keep up appearances, sí? Just in case,” he added bitterly.
Remy noted the resentful tone and raised a questioning eyebrow. Thiago was
even wearier than Remy thought, apparently.
“They did it to you too, non?” Remy asked with a note of sadness in his
voice that he couldn’t quite stamp out. Thiago looked at him sharply and knelt beside him.
“Did what?”
“Told you this could be your last assignment if you took it,” Remy clarified
as he returned his gaze to the dark fireplace. Thiago remained silent. “They offered Shawn the same thing,” Remy continued quietly. “Retraite. Retirement. ‘Find the Archer,’ they told us. ‘We’ll set you up in a nice villa in Italy,’ they said, ‘or a little spread in the Caribbean. Just don’t come back to haunt us, lads. Stay gone.’”
Remy found himself disgusted by his own bitter tone as he mimicked his
handler, but he refused to restrain himself. Perhaps a mutual embittered attitude would help him win Thiago’s confidence.
“Coverts, they are a thing of the past, Thiago,” he said as he jabbed at the
remains of the fire. “Agents like Niko, they will be taking over before long. That, or we’ll blow everyone all to Hell on our way down.”
Thiago was silent. Remy suspected he’d shocked the older man with his little
outburst.
40 The
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“Did they offer you the same deal?” Thiago finally inquired curiously. Remy
nodded and stood up to retrieve the box of matches from the stone mantle. “Did you take it?” Thiago asked as Remy knelt back down. Remy looked down at the box of
matches in his hands, then looked up and met Thiago’s eyes steadily. For the first time he noticed the odd color of Thiago’s eyes; somewhere between gray and blue.
They were really quite striking.
“Non,” he answered distantly, still slightly distracted by Thiago’s piercing gaze. “They offered, but I couldn’t… couldn’t give this up yet.”
Thiago nodded and his brow wrinkled in a sympathetic gesture.
“Did you take it?” Remy asked carefully, watching Thiago closely in order
to gauge how willing the man was to share with him. There was a tense moment in
which Remy felt sure he’d trampled over every ounce of trust Thiago might have
formed. Thiago’s countenance clouded over, and he broke their eye contact to stare at the ashes of the fire. Then he took a deep breath and nodded slowly. Remy had the fleeting impression that perhaps he was ashamed to admit it.
“I took it.”
Despite the answer being what he’d been expecting to hear, Remy was a
little shocked. How could anyone give up this life? And for what? Retirement in the country where nothing ever happened?
“You’ve been in the game for quite a while,” Remy responded in a low,
soothing voice, trying to ease Thiago’s mind and gain a little more confidence from him.
“Not as long as Shawn,” Thiago argued as he let his head hang. Remy felt
pity for the inner turmoil the man must have been experiencing and made a decision that could very well do him in if Shawn ever found out.
“Shawn took it, too,” he told Thiago regretfully. Thiago’s head snapped up
&
nbsp; and Remy looked away before the man could see the sadness in his face. “We need
more firewood,” Remy observed in a dazed voice, not quite believing he’d just told Thiago a fact even he himself was not supposed to know. He’d tipped his hand too
early, but he just couldn’t stop himself.
He stood up and walked over to the row of hooks where their coats hung and
plucked his from its spot.
“I’ll go with you,” Thiago offered, coming over to take hold of his own
jacket and his hiking boots.
“Mais oui, I’ll wake one of the others,” Remy muttered as Thiago pulled one of the heavy boots on.
The man nodded and Remy made his way to Shawn’s door. He listened
carefully but could hear nothing. He was pretty sure Shawn and Brandt moved to
Brandt’s room after their bargaining session, but Remy was still at a loss as to why.
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He pushed the door open and peeked inside anyway. Both bunks were empty.
He turned around and stared at Brandt’s door. The problem with waking
Shawn was in entering Brandt’s room. God only knew how many booby traps there
might be. He steeled himself and stepped up to the door, pushing it open slightly and peering inside. The first thing he saw was the blurry barrel of a gun, pointing directly at his nose. He crossed his eyes and the tip of the .38 came into focus.
“Christ, lad,” Shawn whispered in exasperation. Remy cocked an eyebrow at
the gun and smirked at Shawn.
“I see that you are up,” he said cheekily. Shawn gave him a withering glare
but it didn’t really faze Remy much. “Coast will be clear in a minute,” he whispered.
He pulled the heavy door closed before Shawn could respond with anything
other than an affirmative nod and went to the door of the room he shared with Carl.
He tapped lightly and opened it when he heard a soft greeting from the other side.
“Thiago and I are going for firewood,” he said softly as Carl rubbed his tired
eyes and blinked at Remy sleepily. “How did you sleep?” he asked, even though he
knew Carl had been restless and fitful.
“Not used to a soft bed,” Carl mumbled as he sat up carefully, glancing up at
the bottom of the top bunk warily and rubbing the back of his neck. “Do you need
help?”
“Mais non. Just letting someone know we’d be gone. The fortress,” Remy
sighed theatrically, “it is unguarded.”
“Where’s Everett?”
“Fais do do. Sleeping. I relieved him earlier. I think Shawn’s awake but he is dangerous when he’s half-conscious so…,” Remy said wryly. Another half-truth.
Shawn was dangerous all the time.
“Okay,” Carl said sleepily. He swung his legs out of the bed to land lightly
on the wooden floor. “Cold!” he hissed and drew his feet back into the warm cocoon of his covers. Remy snickered and pulled the door closed.
He turned to find Shawn standing directly behind him, silent as a ghost.
Remy gave a theatrical little start and immediately wrapped his arms around the other man’s neck as if he were about to faint from the shock. He inhaled deeply and
relished the comforting feel and scent of the other man for a brief moment.
“You should know not to sneak up on a spook like that, Beignet,” Remy
whispered in a hoarse voice.
“Mm hmm,” Shawn responded as he hugged Remy tightly and then released
him slowly. “Turn your radar on, Dixie,” he admonished softly, “you’re too
distracted. How was your night?”
“Highly frustrating,” Remy whispered as he remembered spending the early
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morning listening to Shawn and Brandt’s muffled moans. “You owe me, non? ”
Shawn snorted in amusement and gave Remy’s finger a friendly nip before
mouthing a belated good morning and then disappearing into his own bedroom.
Remy sighed heavily as he watched the door close. He heard a light scuffle
and looked down the hall to find Thiago standing there, his head lowered slightly and his shadowed eyes on Remy.
“Sorry,” Remy offered softly as he realized Thiago had probably seen them
capering around in the hallway.
“No worries,” Thiago responded in a voice that barely carried to Remy.
“Ready?”
Remy nodded and started forward with his head down. He was a little angry
with himself for not being aware of Thiago’s location. He was certain the man hadn’t heard their conversation, and even if he had, it wouldn’t have really mattered, but it pissed him off nonetheless. Four days without a threat, and he was already losing his edge? Fucking ridiculous.
“It’s a bit more than just sex, isn’t it?” Thiago asserted almost as soon as
they reached the edge of the woods. Remy looked at him intently through the cloud of his frozen breath to try to decipher what the man thought of the situation. There was no threat or judgment in Thiago’s eyes, and Remy was convinced Thiago was simply
curious. Perhaps still a bit suspicious, but he had every right to be.
“Yes,” Remy answered simply.
Thiago gave a tilt of his head that made him look a little like a confused
puppy and asked, “You love him?”
Now there was a tricky question. Remy’s morals were certainly sketchy in
most respects, but he didn’t like to lie unless it was strictly necessary. And that didn’t have much to do with his morals either, come to think of it. He simply enjoyed the challenge of getting out of sticky situations using nothing but the truth. He had been known to stretch the truth when needed, to say what needed to be said and leave the rest for the listener to erroneously fill in. Or he prevaricated until the original question was forgotten. The truth, he had found, was a diamond of many facets.
But this was different. Shawn was Remy’s best friend– his only friend– and
Remy would die for him if the occasion called for it. He could answer Thiago’s query truthfully and say yes, he did love Shawn, and let Thiago assume what he liked.
But for some reason, standing there in the falling snow and looking into
those odd blue eyes, Remy wanted to explain. He wanted to use as many words as
possible to tell Thiago exactly how he felt about Shawn and what their relationship entailed.
He wanted to tell Thiago that Shawn had saved his life too many times to
count.
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He wanted to tell Thiago that Shawn had followed him blindly into almost
certain death on at least three occasions for no other reasons than loyalty and love, only to miraculously escape and go back to do it again.
He wanted to tell Thiago that in everything they did, he and Shawn were
partners, and that if Shawn decided he wanted to blow them all away and attempt to take over the world with a pellet gun, Remy would have been there at his side with a homemade slingshot.
He wanted to make Thiago understand how complex and important and
devoted the relationship between himself and Shawn was. That it went far beyond the occasional tumble in bed and that it was far more complicated than love.
He didn’t know why he wanted Thiago to know all these things. He just
knew he felt an overwhelming urge to confess how important Shawn was to him. He
suspected it had nothing to do with Thiago, but rather the fact that he knew this was Shawn’s last mission. The sense of finality around the man was palpable.
Whatever the reason, Remy wanted to clarify their relationship out loud once
&n
bsp; and for all, if only for himself if nothing else. But Remy Bergeron was nothing if not a creature of habit, no matter how much he wanted something.
“Yes,” he finally answered somberly.
VIII.
THE six restless coverts sat around the blazing fire as Nikolaus clicked away at his keyboard and Carl attempted to light what was apparently a faulty burner on the stove in order to cook dinner. Brandt was forbidden to even try. The man was okay until something sparked, and then the look in his eyes made Thiago genuinely want to piss himself.
Thiago knew now he had underestimated every single one of these men.
He’d tried to convince himself that the threat was somehow less than it appeared, and in so doing convinced himself that the agents assigned to the job came from the
bottom of the barrel. But they were all the very best at what they did, and out of the three field operatives present, Thiago was fairly certain that he himself was the weakest link. It didn’t help his confidence much that Shawn and Remy were
apparently able to read one another’s minds and anticipate what the other was going to do before he did it.
Despite the way Remy described them as working ‘off and on’ together over
the years, Thiago thought maybe it was more on than off. But in love? Thiago didn’t buy it. People of their ilk didn’t fall in love.
But why would Remy lie about something that was essentially
inconsequential to their working relationship? Thiago asked himself that all day, risking curious glances at the young Cajun every now and then and frowning as he
thought through every permutation of his various theories.
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In the end, it all came down to one truth: Remy Bergeron couldn’t be trusted.
The only thing that felt natural about the man was his genuine loyalty to
Shawn, and in Thiago’s mind that meant that Shawn Bennett couldn’t be trusted
either.
Thiago could tell there was already something the two men were keeping
from the rest of them, and he suspected it had something to do with Brandt. Thiago thought perhaps they’d drugged the man or something. He’d been calm all day, much too calm for Thiago’s peace of mind, and it had been over twenty-four hours since something had caught fire or blown up.