She saw a phone on Kevin’s desk. She would call someone to come get her. But who? Everyone she knew was downstairs at the party. She couldn’t call her mother. Desperately, she racked her brain. Suddenly one face came to her. With trembling fingers, she dialed the number, silently praying, Please be home.
“Hello?”
“Kathy, it’s me, Ellie.” The words tumbled out in a rush. “Please help me. Please!”
Six
“Are you sure you’re all right?” Kathy asked, holding out a tissue.
In the safety of Kathy’s bedroom, Ellie sobbed openly. “Thank you for coming to get me. I—I didn’t know who else to call.”
“I’m glad I was home. Tell me what happened.”
After Kathy had agreed to pick her up from the party, Ellie had crept down the stairs and slipped out the laundry room door. She’d waited, shivering in the dark, beside the road in front of the house until Kathy arrived. During the ride back to Kathy’s, Ellie had wept quietly, and Kathy had not said a word. Now, sitting cross-legged in the center of Kathy’s bed, Ellie knew she owed Kathy an explanation. “I was so excited when Chad asked me to the party. I thought we were going to start over. But he—he wants me to do things with him I don’t want to do.”
“He wants you to have sex. Is that right?”
“Yes.” Ellie was surprised by the accuracy of Kathy’s assessment.
“But you don’t want to.”
“Not really.” Kathy probably thought she was acting like a crybaby. “The girls who sleep with their boyfriends get talked about—trashed, usually. But if you act too uptight, they call you ‘frigid’ and ‘icicle.’ ” She was ashamed now for not defending Kathy when she had been called those names.
“Then you’re always in a losing situation,” Kathy said. “Either way, you’re going to be talked about.”
Ellie hadn’t thought of it that way. “It doesn’t matter now anyway. By Monday, it’ll be all over school about me and Chad.”
“What—that Ellie Matthias said no to the great Chad Wilson? What’s so terrible about that? I’ve always thought Chad was a jerk.”
“You have?”
“Some of these high-school guys think they’re so cool, and that any girl who doesn’t fall at their feet is somehow defective. You’re a smart girl, Ellie. Why would you buy into something as stupid as that kind of lie?”
Surprised by the vehemence in Kathy’s voice, Ellie looked up to see Kathy’s eyes blazing with anger. “I guess I never thought about it as a lie,” Ellie told her.
“There’s nothing wrong with virginity, Ellie. It’s not a disease. You shouldn’t have to apologize for wanting to save yourself for the right guy.”
“But Chad made me feel—” She searched for the right word.
“Hot?” Kathy supplied. Ellie nodded. “All that proves is that you’re normal. But feeling it and doing it aren’t the same thing. And nobody should make you do it if you don’t want to.”
“Have you?” Ellie asked. “Ever ‘done it,’ I mean?”
Kathy gave her a bored look. “We aren’t talking about me. We’re talking about you standing up for yourself and saying no to something you don’t want to do.”
“Is that why you wouldn’t date Bennett? Because everybody expected you to?”
Kathy sighed and sat down on the bed. “He’s so ‘high school’—he thinks he’s so cool. I didn’t want to be bored.”
Ellie admired Kathy’s self-assurance and composure. If only she could tap into that for herself. “I’m not sure what I should do now.”
“I think you should sleep over tonight.”
“Here?”
“No, in my car. Of course here.”
“Won’t Mr. and Mrs. Davidson mind?”
“Why should they? They let me do pretty much as I please.”
“I—I’ll have to call my mom … tell her something about leaving the party that’s believable.”
“Tell her the truth—that the party got rowdy and we came to my house to avoid trouble. It’ll convince her that you’re mature and levelheaded.” Kathy smiled. “And isn’t that just the way we want our parents to think about us?” She added, “I’ll talk to her if she needs proof that you’re really here.”
In the past, Ellie had disliked Kathy’s take-charge attitude, but now she was grateful for it. She blew her nose, washed her face, and made her call. She and Kathy had no trouble persuading her mother to let her spend the night. To Ellie’s amazement, her mother actually praised her for “having the good sense to get out of a bad situation.”
“We’ll watch a movie,” Kathy said, pulling a video from a shelf.
Ellie agreed, but she was so exhausted that she could hardly follow the story. She fell asleep on the floor with the VCR playing, all the time feeling envious of everything about Kathy Tolena. Why couldn’t she have Kathy’s life instead of the one she had?
The next morning, Ellie awoke to the smell of breakfast wafting through the house. She was alone in the room. She dressed quickly and padded out to the kitchen, where she met Pam and Parker Davidson, Christian’s parents. The baby was sitting in his high chair, and Kathy was feeding him breakfast.
“I’m so glad to meet you,” Pam said with a sunny smile. She wore a gorgeous silk robe, and her dark hair was pulled back into a ponytail. She was making waffles on a griddle set on an island in the center of the kitchen. “I’m only sorry we haven’t met you sooner, but this case we’re defending goes to trial in January and we’ve been working night and day to be ready for it. How many waffles can you eat?”
“One to start.”
Her husband folded his newspaper and set it aside. “Do you girls have something planned for the day?”
“We have a big project due at school that we’re working on,” Kathy said.
“Then we’ll get out of your way. We’re taking Chris out for a little bonding time … the mall, lunch, feeding the ducks down at the lake,” Mr. Davidson said. “Plus, Santa’s arriving downtown around three, and we’d like to take Chris for the big event.”
“That is, if you don’t mind,” Pam added quickly.
Ellie poured syrup on her waffle and wondered why it would matter to Kathy where they took their son for the day.
“Sure,” Kathy said, glancing from one to the other. “Whatever.”
Maybe they feel guilty about going off and leaving Kathy alone all day, Ellie thought as she ate the waffle. “This is good,” she told Mrs. Davidson.
“There are plenty more.” She turned to Kathy. “If Chris is finished with his breakfast, I’ve got a waffle with your name on it.”
Kathy wiped the baby’s hands and face and sprinkled some Cheerios on his tray. He grinned and started shoving them in his mouth while Kathy sat down to eat her breakfast. Ellie giggled and told Pam, “Your son’s really cute.”
“Thank you,” Pam said without meeting Ellie’s eyes.
Ellie chewed contentedly and looked out at the pool, where sunlight resembled scattered jewels on the surface of the water. This is what a real family is like, she mused. The Davidsons looked happy, the baby was adorable, and Kathy had the perfect job caring for him while living in a palace without parents to gripe at her. Kathy was pretty lucky.
Mrs. Davidson released the high-chair tray and picked up the baby. “Let’s go get dressed,” she said to Chris, swinging him around. “Would you like to see Santa later?”
Chris gurgled but cast a glance toward Kathy. “E,” he said, turning away from his mother. “E, E.”
“Isn’t that cute?” Ellie asked Kathy. “He wants you.”
“E, E,” Chris continued to chant, clenching and unclenching his fists in Kathy’s direction.
Kathy ignored him. “You go with your mother,” she said quietly.
Mr. Davidson stepped in and took the squirming baby from his wife. “Come on, big guy. Let’s give Kathy a rest today.” He carried the fussy baby out of the kitchen.
Mrs. Davidson stood by the hi
gh chair, looking stricken. “I—I guess we’ve been away too much. He hardly recognizes us these days.”
“It’s all right, Pam,” Kathy said. “Please, go on and have fun today.”
Pam hurried out of the room.
In the silence that lingered, Kathy looked pensive, even somber, and Ellie wondered if she might be missing her family so far away in Kuwait. “Um—Kathy, do you want to take me home and go with them? If you do, it’s all right.”
Kathy shook her head, then in a no-nonsense voice said, “We’ve got a project to finish, remember?” She stood up and whisked the dishes into the sink. “Come on. If you want to shower, I’ll find you something to wear.”
“Whatever,” Ellie said, baffled.
Kathy darted from the kitchen, but Ellie couldn’t shake the feeling that something was going on between Kathy and the Davidsons that nobody wanted to talk about. Something mysterious. It’s none of your business, she told herself. It did little good. Every cell in her body burned with curiosity.
Seven
On Monday at school, Ellie heard the talk. Kathy had made her feel proud of telling Chad no, but the rumor mill cranked out cruel jokes about her and brought her back into harsh reality. She was especially stung by Maria’s treatment. Maria barely spoke to her, all but ignoring her when the other girls were around.
“They’ll move on to somebody else before long,” Kathy assured her when she discovered Ellie crying in the bathroom.
“They’re spreading out-and-out lies about me,” Ellie insisted. “They’re saying Chad and I disappeared upstairs for hours. They’re saying things happened that didn’t happen. It isn’t true! Why did I ever trust him?”
“Because you thought you loved him,” Kathy said matter-of-factly. “It happens. Believe me, by New Year’s everyone will have forgotten all about Ellie and Chad and moved on to someone else.”
Ellie had counted the days until Christmas break. When it arrived, she said “Good riddance” to the school building, then got into Kathy’s car. The English project was finished and turned in; they’d get their grade in January. For Ellie, the grade was secondary. What concerned her was that now she had no excuse to spend time with Kathy. And at the moment, Kathy was her only friend.
Glancing over at Kathy, she asked, “So what’re you going to do over the break?”
“Take care of Chris.”
“Nothing else? Any Christmas shopping?”
“I’ve already mailed stuff to my family in Kuwait.”
“How about gifts for the Davidsons? And for Chris?”
“The one thing the Davidsons want I can’t shop for,” Kathy said enigmatically.
Ellie puzzled over the comment. Unable to figure out what Kathy meant, she asked, “Isn’t Christian having a birthday soon? We could plan a party for him. I know he’s only going to be one, but I’ll bet the Davidsons have been too busy to think much about it. What do you think?”
“I guess we could,” Kathy said without enthusiasm. That surprised Ellie. Kathy was usually very enthusiastic about everything that had to do with Chris. They rode in silence until Kathy asked, “Would you like to go to the mall with me on Monday?”
“Sure. But we’ll have to take my sister with us because I have to watch her while Mom’s at work.”
“Fine with me.”
Ellie settled back against the seat, somewhat pacified. So what if her friends ignored her? She would be Kathy’s friend. Kathy was smart, self-confident, and nice. Who wouldn’t want a friend like that? The others could go jump in the lake for all she cared.
On Monday Ellie, Marcy, Kathy, and Chris went to the mall. Marcy took to the baby immediately, asking to push his stroller around the stores crowded with Christmas shoppers. When Kathy darted into a toy store, Ellie and Marcy stayed outside with Chris, gazing into the toy-laden display window. “That’s what I want,” Marcy said slowly, pointing to a colorful plastic apartment house for Barbie.
“It’s expensive,” Ellie said. “I doubt Mom can afford it.”
Marcy stared at the toy, then sighed. “I know. I guess I’ll just have to save more money.”
Ellie felt sorry for her sister—for both of them, really. As far as getting presents, it wasn’t going to be much of a Christmas. She was really glad she’d saved for the one thing she wanted. At least she knew she’d get it. “That’s about all you can do,” she said. “But if I have any money left over after I buy my radio, you can have it. It wouldn’t be much,” she added hastily. “Maybe a few dollars, but it’ll help some.”
Sounding resigned, Marcy said slowly, “Thanks … maybe I can get it for my birthday this summer.”
Chris took that opportunity to toss his plastic bottle out of the stroller. Marcy retrieved it, cooed at the baby, and handed it back to him. He offered a big grin and Marcy laughed, her disappointment about the toy forgotten.
By then Kathy had come out of the store with her purchases. “I want to get Chris’s picture taken with Santa,” she told Ellie and Marcy.
“I thought the Davidsons did that already,” Ellie said.
“They did, but I want my picture with him and Santa.”
They stood in a long line, and by the time it was their turn, Chris was half asleep. Still, Kathy picked him up and nestled him in Santa’s arms. She crouched down and waited while Santa’s elf snapped the photo. Minutes later the elf brought Kathy a print of the picture. Kathy paid for it, then held it out, looking at it for the longest time.
“Cute,” Ellie said, anxious to get on with their shopping.
“I like it, too,” Marcy chimed in.
Kathy said nothing, just stood and stared at the photo in her hand. Ellie could have sworn she saw moisture in Kathy’s eyes. “Um—everything okay?” Ellie asked.
Kathy nodded, tucked the picture into her purse, and said, “Sure. Everything’s just fine.”
Ellie traded baffled looks with Marcy. For the life of her, she couldn’t figure Kathy out. Sometimes she acted assured and confident, other times sad and distant. For a girl who had everything, Kathy didn’t seem any happier than Ellie, who had almost nothing. No … it made no sense to Ellie at all.
Five days before Christmas, the Davidsons had to fly to New York on business. Kathy asked Ellie to sleep over. Fortunately, Marcy had been asked to spend the night with a friend of hers, so Ellie was free. That night, after they’d eaten hamburgers, Kathy bathed Chris and dressed him in Santa pajamas. Fresh from his bath, smelling of baby powder and lotion, he had never looked cuter to Ellie. He was learning to walk. He’d take a few unsteady steps, then flop down and crawl rapidly toward the Christmas tree that stood in glittering splendor by a large bay window.
“No you don’t, buster,” Kathy said, scooping him up and redirecting him toward Ellie, who enticed him in her direction with toys.
“He sure has a one-track mind,” Ellie said with a laugh. “Just like most guys.”
Kathy chuckled. “Don’t put that label on Chris. He’s going to grow up and be different. He’s going to treat girls with respect.”
“If only,” Ellie said. “Maybe we should both come back and check on him when he’s sixteen, just to make sure.”
A shadow crossed Kathy’s face. She stood and picked the baby up. “Bedtime,” she announced. Ellie thought her decision rather abrupt but didn’t say anything. At the doorway, Kathy said, “While I’m putting Chris down, go in my room and pick out a video. We’ll watch it out here on the home-theater system—it’s awesome.”
Ellie retreated to Kathy’s suite and started riffling through the library of videotapes and laser discs on the shelves. She chose one, turned, and in her haste knocked a small box to the floor. “Oops,” she said, and bent to retrieve the spilled contents. Scattered on the floor were the recent photo of Chris, Kathy, and Santa—and another of a newborn baby bundled in a flannel blanket. Chris? Ellie wondered. It sure looked like him.
Ellie picked up a tiny bracelet of alternating blue and white lettered beads. B-O-Y T
-O-L-E-N-A, the beads spelled. Ellie stared, her mind struggling to make sense of it. Then the light of understanding flared. She felt as if all the air had been sucked from the room and a weight were pressing against her chest.
“What’s the holdup?” Kathy came into the room.
Ellie whipped around, feeling like a thief caught in the act. “I—I accidentally knocked this box on the floor.”
Kathy’s eyes grew wide, panic-stricken.
Ellie couldn’t help herself. She held out the tiny bracelet. “Is Chris your son, Kathy?”
Eight
With trembling fingers, Kathy took the bracelet. Tears filled her eyes as she fingered the lettered beads lovingly, like a rosary. “Yes,” she whispered. “Chris is my son.”
Tears welled in Ellie’s eyes, too. She was overwhelmed—and unsure of what to say now that she’d stumbled upon this startling truth. “I truly didn’t mean to pry. You’ve been a good friend to me. Now, if you need me, I promise to be as good a friend to you. Please tell me what’s going on. Who are the Davidsons? Why are you pretending Chris isn’t yours?”
Kathy walked to the love seat and, curling her legs under her, settled there. She clutched the tiny bracelet against her breast. “The Davidsons are Chris’s adoptive parents. At least, they will be if I decide to sign the final papers.”
Is this really happening? thought Ellie. “If you sign? You mean, you might not?”
“I should have signed the papers when Chris was born. But I didn’t. You see, through my father’s attorney, we’d been given the Davidsons name as a childless couple who wanted to adopt. Private adoptions happen all the time. Pam and Parker came to visit us in Miami while I was still pregnant, and I really liked them.”
“What’s not to like?” Ellie said. “They’re really nice.”