Chapter 48
Vann needed to find her. He knew she was avoiding him, but he needed to find her.
When she nearly bumped into him they were both surprised.
‘Vann.’ she said, her voice clearly saying she didn’t expect to see him there. ‘Your cast is off.’
Vann guessed that was why she hadn’t recognized and avoided him.
‘I got it off this morning.’ He said. That was what he needed to talk to her about. He’d have an assignment by the afternoon and could be on a sub as soon as dawn tomorrow.
He wondered if she’d still be here when he came back.
‘Riley,’ he said suddenly, ‘would you mind if I transferred to Astar?’
‘Huh? Astar? I don’t think you’d like it there.’ she looked surprised.
‘But would it bother you?’
She shrugged uncertainly, as if she wasn’t quite sure what that had to do with her. ‘If you wanted to.’
Vann suppressed a surge of hope. But he couldn’t stop himself from grinning. Then he remembered. ‘Here,’ he pulled something from his pocket. ‘I have something for you.’
As he spoke her expression changed to one of worry, but when he handed it to her she beamed.
‘It’s a leaper claw.’ Vann explained.
She held it up and looking at it intently. ‘It’s long! Can I keep it?’
Vann nodded, warmth flooding his heart. ‘I got it for you.’ He didn’t mention Zap Zap had found the claw. It wasn’t as if he’d never fought a leaper, Vann thought.
‘Do you know how to attract leapers?’ she asked, her eyes on him.
Vann didn’t answer. Zap Zap told him everything they talked about.
She sighed but then she brightened up and said ‘Thank you.’ Her cheeks seemed a bit pinker than usual.
Then the happiness leached from her. ‘Vann… I’m not staying here. I-it’s not you, I just need to leave. I need to leave.’
He didn’t know why she wanted to leave so bad, but it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that she wanted it.
Vann watched her. He felt strangely calm. She was upset, he knew that.
But he could do something about that now.
And he’d go to Astar with her.
‘Alright.’
‘Alright?’ she asked, confused.
He smiled. ‘I’m fit for a sub tour again. I’ll talk to Commander Reista. We’ll take the Astarians down on a sub. Show them that they don’t need to teach us anything about gemengs.’
‘A sub…’ Her eyes were gleaming. ‘What sort of gemengs will we see?’ she asked eagerly. ‘Splitters? Longtails? Big Jaw?’
‘Riley…’ This was a strange woman, he thought. But even though her eagerness was evident, he had to disappoint her. ‘I can’t take you on a sub.’
‘What?’ The light faded from her eyes. She was looking at him in a way that said why-would-you-offer-me-that-and-then-take-it-away?
‘Riley, it’s dangerous. I don’t want you to get hurt.’
She looked at him. Then she said, ‘but you’re going.’
His cheeks flamed. He so wanted that to mean she cared. ‘I’m a submariner.’ he managed to say calmly.
‘You’re a human. You’re soft and easily damaged. If I get hurt, Vann, you’d be… you’d be hurt.’
He couldn’t help feeling a little embarrassed. He couldn’t read the look in her eyes.
‘I won’t go.’ she suddenly relented.
He was surprised but he wasn’t about to argue.
He smiled. ‘I’ll go talk to the Commander.’ He hesitated. He wanted to reach out and touch her.
But he didn’t.
His first stop wasn’t to the Commander’s office, but to pick up a transfer request form.
The dark haired woman stepped from the crowd. Her thick, dark, glossy hair was pinned up. Her eyes were ice blue. They were astonishingly vivid. If she hadn’t been scowling every time Riley saw her she might have wondered if she was another of Vann’s beauties.
And once again Vann was inside her head.
She so wanted to go on a sub. She wanted to see the ocean-going gemengs. Perhaps she could learn to swim and go and try her luck with them. Though if Vann wasn’t even going to help her fight leapers on a beach there was no way he was going to let her come on a sub. Riley knew a pointless fight when she saw one.
Besides. She might be a distraction to him.
The woman was close to her now. She didn’t stop where most of them did. She kept coming.
That caught her attention. What did the woman want?
The woman stopped right in front of Riley.
‘So you’re the one Vann’s so fascinated with.’ The woman said as her eyes ran over Riley’s face. Her voice had an unforgiving harshness to it. She was speaking quietly enough that the conversation would be private.
That was enough to make Riley feel a touch of unease.
Her words though were enough to make Riley’s cheeks heat up.
She said nothing.
She didn’t like the way this woman was looking at her.
It made Riley remember how she had felt in a room full of Vann’s oh so pretty former lovers.
‘A gemeng.’ the woman said. ‘How special. You know,’ pause, ‘the moment he has you he’ll lose interest.’
This horrible woman was a master of the meaningful pause.
Riley felt her cheeks burning. It was probably true. He’d lost interest in all the others. She’d seen them, and all so lovely. But she wasn’t going to find out. She was leaving. She wasn’t going to think about that.
‘I hear you’re opposed to the idea.’ Pause.
Riley hated her pauses as much as her words.
‘But you should be honoured. A gemeng like you.’
A spark of anger ignited in her. Honoured? Because a human wanted her? She hadn’t felt honoured by Peitar’s affection.
‘Just let him have you. Then this embarrassment will be over.’
When Riley finally spoke her voice sounded strange to her ears, after being so focussed on the dark haired woman’s words.
‘Let him have me?’
Another of those pauses that screamed with words.
‘I don’t really want to know the details.’ Pause. ‘Let him do what he likes to you.’ Pause. ‘You should be pleased a human would want to touch you.’ Pause. ‘Then this farce will be done with.’
Shock and outrage clashed inside her. Riley’s mouth was clamped shut. Her eyes were afire with rage. She was choking on things she couldn’t say or do. Things that weren’t allowed out.
Her head was throbbing.
In this place, she could do nothing to this woman, say nothing, scream nothing. And what did it matter what she said or felt? She was a gemeng. She was supposed to let any human who wanted her have her!
The image of the woman wavered before her eyes.
Riley did nothing.
Said nothing.
And then something changed within her.
What did it matter what the icy-eyed woman said, what she thought? She was a gemeng. No human could touch her unless she allowed it. No human could control her unless she allowed it.
In fact, they couldn’t do anything to her unless she let them.
So softly the other woman barely caught it Riley said, ‘You can’t hurt me unless I let you.’ But she wasn’t talking to the other woman. It was for herself.
Riley did not bother to note the other woman’s reaction. It meant less than nothing.
Riley turned and began walking away from the courtyard.
People were calling to her.
She took no notice.
She walked out of the Blocks.
She wasn’t going to wait on anyone else’s say so any more.
She wasn’t going to be here any longer.