you’re sick? you should jog, jog

  along the water. watch for the

  dolphins. you need vitamin E, cigarettes, and a

  new typewriter ribbon.

  I hang up.

  I go over and sit down in front of the

  typewriter.

  little do they know, those suffering

  bastards, that no man is completely

  sane. I am sweating behind the ears.

  the phone rings again. I

  listen. I listen until it stops

  then I lean over the

  keys…

  another great book in the works

  for

  Barnes and Noble.

  in this cage some songs are born

  I write poetry, worry, smile,

  laugh

  sleep

  continue for a while

  just like most of us

  just like all of us;

  sometimes I want to hug all

  Mankind on earth

  and say,

  god damn all this that they’ve brought down

  upon us,

  we are brave and good

  even though we are selfish

  and kill each other and

  kill ourselves,

  we are the people

  born to kill and die and weep in dark rooms

  and love in dark rooms,

  and wait, and

  wait and wait and wait.

  we are the people.

  we are nothing

  more.

  my movie

  my movies are getting better finally.

  but I remember this one old movie I starred in.

  I worked as a janitor in a tall office building

  at night, with other men and

  women who cleaned up the shit

  left behind by other people.

  those men and women had a very tired and dark and

  useless feeling about them.

  this one old man and I

  we used to work very fast together

  and then sit in an office on the top

  floor

  at the Big Man’s desk

  our feet up there as

  we looked out over the city and

  watched the sun come up while

  drinking whiskey

  from the Big Man’s wet bar.

  the old man talked and I listened to the

  years of his life

  not much

  he was just another tired guy who cleaned up

  other people’s shit

  and did a good job of it.

  I didn’t.

  they canned me.

  then I got a job as a dishwasher

  and they also canned me there because

  I wasn’t a good dishwasher.

  this was a seemingly endless low-budget movie

  it ran for years and years

  it didn’t cost 50 million to make

  it didn’t have an anti-war message

  it really didn’t have much to say about anything

  but you still ought to read my poems

  and see it.

  a new war

  a different fight now, warding off the weariness of

  age,

  retreating to your room, stretching out upon the bed,

  there’s not much will to move,

  it’s near midnight now.

  not so long ago your night would be just

  beginning, but don’t lament lost youth:

  youth was no wonder

  either.

  but now it’s the waiting on death.

  it’s not death that’s the problem, it’s the waiting.

  you should have been dead decades ago.

  the abuse you wreaked upon yourself was

  enormous and non-ending.

  a different fight now, yes, but nothing to

  mourn, only to

  note.

  frankly, it’s even a bit dull waiting on the

  blade.

  and to think, after I’m gone,

  there will be more days for others, other days,

  other nights.

  dogs walking, trees shaking in

  the wind.

  I won’t be leaving much.

  something to read, maybe.

  a wild onion in the gutted

  road.

  Paris in the dark.

  roll the dice

  if you’re going to try, go all the

  way.

  otherwise, don’t even start.

  if you’re going to try, go all the

  way.

  this could mean losing girlfriends,

  wives, relatives, jobs and

  maybe your mind.

  go all the way.

  it could mean not eating for 3 or

  4 days.

  it could mean freezing on a

  park bench.

  it could mean jail,

  it could mean derision,

  mockery,

  isolation.

  isolation is the gift,

  all the others are a test of your

  endurance, of

  how much you really want to

  do it.

  and you’ll do it

  despite rejection and the

  worst odds

  and it will be better than

  anything else

  you can imagine.

  if you’re going to try,

  go all the way.

  there is no other feeling like

  that.

  you will be alone with the

  gods

  and the nights will flame with

  fire.

  do it, do it, do it.

  do it.

  all the way

  all the way.

  you will ride life straight to

  perfect laughter, it’s

  the only good fight

  there is.

  About the Author

  CHARLES BUKOWSKI is one of America’s best-known contemporary writers of poetry and prose, and, many would claim, its most influential and imitated poet. He was born in Andernach, Germany, to an American soldier father and a German mother in 1920, and brought to the United States at the age of three. He was raised in Los Angeles and lived there for fifty years. He published his first story in 1944 when he was twenty-four and began writing poetry at the age of thirty-five. He died in San Pedro, California, on March 9, 1994, at the age of seventy-three, shortly after completing his last novel, Pulp (1994).

  During his lifetime he published more than forty-five books of poetry and prose, including the novels Post Office (1971), Factotum (1975), Women (1978), Ham on Rye (1982), and Hollywood (1989). Among his most recent books are the posthumous editions of What Matters Most Is How Well You Walk Through the Fire (1999), Open All Night: New Poems (2000), Beerspit Night and Cursing: The Correspondence of Charles Bukowski and Sheri Martinelli 1960-1967 (2001), and The Night Torn Mad with Footsteps: New Poems (2001).

  All of his books have now been published in translation in over a dozen languages and his worldwide popularity remains undiminished. In the years to come, Ecco will publish additional volumes of previously uncollected poetry and letters.

  Visit www.AuthorTracker.com for exclusive information on your favorite HarperCollins author.

  BY CHARLES BUKOWSKI

  The Days Run Away Like Wild Horses Over the Hills (1969)

  Post Office (1971)

  Mockingbird Wish Me Luck (1972)

  South of No North (1973)

  Burning in Water, Drowning in Flame: Selected Poems 1955-1973 (1974)

  Factotum (1975)

  Love Is a Dog from Hell: Poems 1974-1977 (1977)

  Women (1978)

  Play the Piano Drunk /Like a Percussion Instrument/Until the Fingers Begin to Bleed a Bit (1979)

  Shakespeare Never Did This (1979)

  Dangling in the Tournefortia (1981)

  Ham on Rye (1982)

&nb
sp; Bring Me Your Love (1983)

  Hot Water Music (1983)

  There’s No Business (1984)

  War All the Time: Poems 1981-1984 (1984)

  You Get So Alone at Times That It Just Makes Sense (1986)

  The Movie: “Barfly” (1987)

  The Roominghouse Madrigals: Early Selected Poems 1946-1966 (1988)

  Hollywood (1989)

  Septuagenarian Stew: Stories & Poems (1990)

  The Last Night of the Earth Poems (1992)

  Screams from the Balcony: Selected Letters 1960-1970 (1993)

  Pulp (1994)

  Living on Luck: Selected Letters 1960s-1970s (Volume 2) (1995)

  Betting on the Muse: Poems & Stories (1996)

  Bone Palace Ballet: New Poems (1997)

  The Captain Is Out to Lunch and the Sailors Have Taken Over the Ship (1998)

  Reach for the Sun: Selected Letters 1978-1994 (Volume 3) (1999)

  What Matters Most Is How Well You Walk Through the Fire: New Poems (1999)

  Open All Night: New Poems (2000)

  The Night Torn Mad with Footsteps: New Poems (2001)

  Beerspit Night and Cursing: The Correspondence of Charles Bukowski & Sheri Martinelli 1960-1967 (2001)

  Copyright

  WHAT MATTERS MOST IS HOW WELL YOU WALK THROUGH THE FIRE. Copyright © 2007 by Linda Lee Bukowski. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

  EPub Edition © SEPTEMBER 2007 ISBN: 9780061873317

  Version 08092013

  10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

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