“What the hell was that all about?” I shouted over the music.
“I told you that you shouldn’t be in here!” Ryder said, loudly.
“What has that got to do with you fighting?” I asked, trying to ignore how close I was to him.
“The bastard was talking shit about you in that dress.”
“What did he say?” I asked, watching as the man’s friends tried to peel him off of the floor.
“Believe me, you don’t want to know,” Ryder growled. He stood up gingerly, wincing at the movement. When the pain passed, he grabbed hold of my arm.
“Time to leave, little girls.”
With his fingers wrapped around my upper arm, he led me out of the bar. Eva followed, protesting the entire time. I wasn’t going to say anything. I didn’t want to be here anyway. He was saving me from a potentially bad night.
Outside the hot Texas air hit us like a blowtorch, wilting everything in its path. Gravel crunched under our feet as we maneuvered around motorcycles and muscle cars, finally finding Eva’s pickup.
“Go straight home, Maddie,” Ryder demanded as he opened the passenger door for me.
“You’re not going back in there are you?” I asked.
He paused. I saw the indecision on his face. This wasn’t an easy decision for him. Not when he never walked away from a party. Or a woman.
“No, I’ll follow you home.”
Secretly, I was glad he was leaving. It meant no more girls, no more fighting, and no more drinking for him tonight.
Eva waited for Ryder to pull behind us in his ’66 Ford Bronco before she drove out of the parking lot. A few minutes later, we hit the empty, two–lane highway that would take us home.
The truck gave a violent shudder as Eva leaned over to turn the A/C on full blast. It was a beat up, hardly running, seen–better–days old Ford pickup from my daddy’s generation of gas guzzling vehicles. The paint was chipping, the seats were torn, and on a bad day it smelled like cow manure but it got us where we needed to go. Sometimes.
“So…interesting night,” Eva said, keeping her eyes on the road.
“Yeah, I told you the place was a hole but you never listen to me.”
“If I listened to you, what fun would we have?” She floored the accelerator and the truck jerked forward. “I never thought we would see Ryder there.”
“It’s his kind of place,” I said, peering in the side mirror.
I could see his headlights a short distance behind us. This late at night, we were the only two vehicles on the road. It was an eerie feeling being out here in the middle of nowhere. There were no lights and no people; only the stars and moon above.
“I have no idea why the two of you stay friends,” Eva said. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her gather her long blonde hair in one hand and hold it off her nape, letting the cool air reach her neck. “I mean, the two of you are so different. He’s such a pain in the ass and you’re so…I don’t know…sweet? I don’t get it.”
I didn’t get it either. Maybe it was because Ryder and I had known each other forever. Or maybe it was because we knew everything about each other. Whatever it was, we remained friends. When I moved six hours away to go to college, I worried our friendship would fade. It didn’t but it changed. There was something there, lingering between us, leaving me nervous and confused.
I would never admit it to anyone, even Eva, but I always had a thing for Ryder. Maybe it was love or maybe it was just lust. In high school, I watched as he dated girl after girl. I spent many nights wishing it was me that he wanted. Me that he loved. When I left for college, I thought the feelings would disappear. I thought it was only a silly teenage crush that would fade over time. I was wrong. My feelings only grew stronger.
“On the topic of boys, what are you going to do about Ben? You gonna take things to the next level and sleep with him like he wants?”
I grabbed the door handle as she gunned the truck and took a curve too fast. Eva was hell on wheels. She drove as if she was competing in the Indy 500 (and winning). I took my life in my own hands every time I got in the car with her.
“No,” I answered, trying to talk myself into being brave and letting go of the door handle. “He keeps pressuring me but I’m not ready.”
Ben and I had been together for a few months now. We met at a party and instantly hit it off. When he asked me out, I didn’t hesitate to say yes. Everything had been great between us until he started insisting we have sex. I told him no repeatedly but still he pushed and pushed. Figuratively not literally. I had made it to the ripe old age of twenty–one as a virgin and I planned to stay that way despite good looks and sweet words.
“Don’t ruin your last year of college with him,” Eva said. “He’s a jerk.”
"No one is going to ruin my last year, Eva. Especially a boy."
"Good. We’re so close to getting our nursing degrees that nothing can mess it up now."
I was majoring in nursing. Eva was majoring in boys and parties with some nursing thrown in as well. The past three years had been interesting sharing an apartment with her. There was never a dull moment.
“Damn, A/C. You would think my dad would fix it since we live in frickin’ Texas where it’s frickin’ hotter than hell!” Eva muttered, messing with the A/C knobs again.
Knowing the air conditioning worked for only a short amount of time, we both rolled down our windows to let in the night air. The wind immediately started wreaking havoc with our hair, probably tying it into knots.
“I don’t know what you have against Ben,” I said, pushing strands of hair out of my eyes only to have the wind whip it around my face again.
“He has too much ego, strutting around with his blonde hair and perfect tan. I mean, the guy is too perfect. Something’s up with him, I just feel it,” Eva said, whipping the truck around another corner.
I wasn’t surprised by her words. She told me all the time that Ben was too possessive and controlling. I didn’t see it but she had always been overcritical of the guys I dated anyway.
“You need to have sex for the first time with someone more…I don’t know…badass.” I saw the gears turning in her mind, hatching an idea. “And I know the perfect person! Ryder!”
I felt redness creep up my neck. “I don’t think so, Eva. He’s only a friend.”
“A friend who is super hot! Ever heard of friends with benefits?” she asked with a wide smile.
“Never happening!”
“Why? Ever think about it? All those hard abs and sexy tattoos? The man is definitely fuck–worthy. Come on, Maddie, you can’t tell me you haven’t thought about it.”
“Nope.”
“Liar.”
Maybe I was a liar but he was my friend. I wouldn’t go there.
Soon we were pulling into Eva’s driveway with Ryder behind us. Eva and her parents lived in town. Around here, they were considered city folks even though the town boasted only 4,000 residents. Silly, I know.
I started to jump out of the truck when Eva’s voice stopped me. “Your dad’s not home. Feel free to take my advice and sleep with Ryder,” she said with a wink. "If you can’t walk tomorrow, I’ll know why."
I rolled my eyes and slammed the car door shut. Sex was always on her mind. I swear that she was as bad as Ryder.
His old Bronco rumbled loudly as I slid into the passenger seat. Since we lived right next door to each other, he was taking me the rest of the way home.
“Eva drives like a lunatic! You shouldn’t get in the car with her,” he said after I shut the truck door.
I glanced over at him. His cheekbone had one big nasty bruise and the cut on his lower lip looked painful. The ball cap shadowed his eyes but the intensity of his stare made me uneasy.
“She’s never gotten a ticket so she must be doing something right,” I said.
“Pure luck,” he reasoned, backing out of the driveway. He pulled out onto the street and I felt him look over at me but I kept my eyes locked outside. Why was
I so nervous? Two shots of whiskey must really be messing with my head.
“My phone really was acting up, Maddie. I didn’t get your text,” he said in a low voice.
“No big deal, Ryder. I was going to call but I’ve been busy.”
“I noticed. Don’t go to a place like that again. Stick to your little college kid bars.”
“Yes, sir,” I said, sarcastically under my breath. I snuck a peek at his tattooed arm, resting lazily on top of the steering wheel. Tribal tattoos in big, bold designs swirled around his wrist and traveled upward. Eva was right. They were sexy. Too bad we were just friends.
The silence stretched between us, becoming uncomfortable and awkward as we left the town behind. I clasped my hands tightly in my lap, wondering why I was so nervous. It was only Ryder, for Pete’s sake!
For miles only the countryside surrounded us, dark and empty. Finally, we turned down a deserted dirt road. On either side of us were acres and acres of farmland and not much else. This is where I lived — in the middle of nowhere, Texas. Population — a few people, but plenty of cows and horses.
Within minutes, we were driving along my gravel driveway, leading to the only home in sight.
“Your dad’s not home?” Ryder asked when he saw the dark house.
“No. He’s in Dallas for business.”
I opened up the car door and was surprised when Ryder turned off the ignition and climbed out of the truck.
“I’ll walk you in.”
I couldn’t say why the butterflies took flight in my stomach or why my hands started to shake when I attempted to unlock the front door, but they did. I had been alone with Ryder plenty of times but tonight felt different.
In the kitchen, I flipped on the light and grimaced. His face looked awful, painful. To think those bruises were there because of me…hurt.
“Your face looks horrible. Have a seat. I’ll get something to doctor it.”
“Its fine. Don’t worry about it,” he said, taking a seat anyway. That put his eyes closer to my level, making my nervousness double and my heart pound.
“Doctoring you is the least I could do after you defended my honor,” I said, teasingly.
A smile slowly spread across his face. Stretching out his long legs, he watched me closely, studying my every move.
Ryder’s a friend. Only a friend. The words kept replaying in my mind as I headed to the bathroom for the first–aid. What was wrong with me that I needed to remind myself of our friendship all the time?
For some reason, I dropped the butterfly bandages twice before walking back to the kitchen.
When I rounded the corner and saw him, I almost stumbled. He had taken off his hat, leaving his hair messy and flattened. He looked innocent and sweet. Nothing like his true self. As I poured antiseptic on a cotton ball, he ran a hand through his hair, making it spike all over. Now he looked like the bad boy I knew him to be.
Taking a deep breath, I stepped toward him. He spread his knees so I could stand closer but I kept my distance. Even this close, I could smell his aftershave, something clean and manly, unlike the heavy cologne that Ben wore.
“You don’t have to do this, Maddie.”
“Sure, I do. Someone needs to be my guinea pig so I can practice my nursing skills. Might as well be you,” I teased.
He grinned and put a hand on my hip. “What’s your deal? I’m not going to bite,” he said, pulling me forward to stand between his legs. His hand lingered on my hip a second before dropping away.
I blushed as the skin on my hip burned beneath my dress. His eyes were now level with my breasts and his legs were mere centimeters away from my thighs. One more small step and I would be in his lap. Where I wanted to be.
What was wrong with me?
I avoided his eyes as I put the cotton ball on his cheekbone.
“Shit!” he hissed.
“So you get tattooed but you can’t handle a little burn. What’s wrong with this picture?” I asked, unable to hold back a grin.
He laughed lightly. His eyes dropped down to my chest and quickly back up again. My blush returned, turning my face a bright red. I quickly placed the butterfly bandage on the cut, needing to hurry and get away from him before I made that straddling wish a reality.
Wetting another cotton ball with antiseptic, I leaned closer, planning to put it on his lip. Instead, he took it from me and placed it on the cut himself. Hissing, he closed his eyes at the pain.
I was still standing between his legs when his blue eyes opened and looked at me, searing me with heat. I took a step back, putting a safe distance between us.
“You and your boyfriend still an item?” he asked, putting the hat back on his head.
“Yes, Ben and I are still together.”
“Is it serious?”
I shrugged indifferently. I was not going to tell Ryder that Ben had been pushing me to have sex. Ryder and I shared everything but our sex life (or in my case, lack of one) was not something we talked about. Thank goodness too. I hated his promiscuous behavior. Ryder was the ultimate player and seeing him with so many women hurt. A lot.
He stood up, towering over me. The kitchen suddenly felt small and crowded. Intimate, if kitchens could feel that way. Moving closer, he ran a finger underneath the spaghetti strap of my sundress. Shivers raced across my skin.
“This dress is dangerous,” he whispered.
“It’s just a dress, Ryder.”
“It’s more than just a dress, Maddie. It makes you look so innocent and sweet. Ripe for the taking. You don’t know what that does to guys. Your boyfriend would kill you for wearing it to a bar.”
“He doesn’t tell me what to wear.”
“If I was your boyfriend, I wouldn’t want you to wear that unless it was to bed and then I would just rip it off of you. With pleasure.”
My breath caught in my throat as his eyes burned into mine and his finger continued to run across my skin.
Seconds ticked by on the kitchen clock.
He finally removed his finger and broke the silence, ending the moment between us. Whatever it was.
“I’m teasing, Maddie." he said with a smile, the heat leaving his eyes. "I like to see you blush."
I frowned and felt a tiny bit of hurt. Teasing like that wasn’t funny.
He stepped away from me, putting a safe distance between us.
"So I wanted to talk to you about something. Guess this is as good a time as any." He took a deep breath and let it out in a tumble of words. "I’m enlisting in the Army.”
I stared at him in shock, not expecting those words. His strong jaw flexed as he waited for me to say something. Words escaped me. I lost my voice. What do I say to that?
“I wanted you to be the first to know. I can get in as an officer since I have a college degree.” He leaned back against the table and crossed his arms over his chest. “I’ve got to get out of this town and decided the Army was the best way to do it.”
Words stuck in my throat. He wanted to leave? I guess I took it for granted that Ryder would always be here. To me, he was a constant and I couldn’t imagine my life without him.
“You can’t enlist,” I said.
One corner of his mouth lifted in a lopsided grin. “Leave it to you, Maddie, to tell me I can’t do something.” His eyes locked onto mine with intensity and his grin faded. “But before I sign up, there is one thing that I want to do.”
My heart went crazy as my imagination went wild.
“I have an appointment in a week at the military entrance processing station. They’ll do my medical evaluation and other tests to make sure I qualify. The place is right by your campus so I thought maybe I could go back with you. We could hang out for a few days, raise some hell just like old times.”
Ryder in my apartment? For days? Sleeping and showering? I could handle it. Well, maybe.
“I never raised hell, Ryder. You did it enough for the both of us,” I said with a nervous laugh. “But having you around sounds great. Who knows,
maybe you will meet the love of your life and decide not to enlist.”
Ryder shook his head and scoffed. “When hell freezes over, Maddie. You know I’ll never marry. Too many women out there I haven’t met yet.”
I rolled my eyes. He thought it was all fun and games but I couldn’t stand to see him with so many women. He deserved better.
I decided the comment wasn’t worth fighting over. Now him enlisting, that was worth fighting over. Maybe while he was with me, I could talk him out of it.
“We’re leaving in two days,” I warned.
“Works for me.”
I followed him to the front door, trying not to notice the way his shirt outlined the muscles of his arms or the way his jeans hugged his butt. I wanted to smack myself for looking.
He was almost out the door when he turned around. I winced at the sight of his battered face under the porch light.
“Lock the door behind me and call if you need anything,” he said, sternly.
I nodded. “Night, Ryder.”
With one more glance at me, he jogged down the porch steps and across the dark yard. Closing the door, I looked around the hallway, not seeing the childhood pictures of me on the wall or noticing the quietness of the house. My mind was only on Ryder.
Chapter Two
“Ramen noodles?”
I looked over at my dad. He was holding up God’s gift to the broke, starving college student.
“Yeah, we’ll eat that,” I answered, searching my purse for my always–disappearing phone charger.
Every time I left, my dad sent bags of groceries back with me. Secretly, I was glad he did because Eva and I usually survived on coffee and grilled cheese sandwiches.
“So Ryder is going with you?”
“Yep,” I answered, searching under some farm and ranch magazines. “Do you know where I put my charger?”
When he didn’t answer, I glanced at him and was surprised to see a worried expression on his face.
“Is he staying with you?”
The question caught me off guard. Never before had my dad questioned what I did with Ryder. He lectured me about Ben all the time. ‘Don’t get too serious,’ ’Don’t do anything you will regret later.’ But the time I spent with Ryder never concerned him. So why all the questions?