Page 31 of The Unknown Ajax


  ‘It’s got to be done, lad, if I’m to bring you off. I’ve no time to do more than stop the bleeding the best way I can, and it’s bound to hurt like the devil, for I’m packing it tightly, and you’ve a bullet lodged there, you know. Come, now, swallow another mouthful, and you’ll be champion!’

  Richmond obeyed. He was lying relaxed against Hugo’s arm, and he looked up at him, saying: ‘I lied to you! I had to. It was my responsibility: I couldn’t leave them in the lurch! I had to see all safe. I was in command, you see, because it was my scheme.’

  The Major looked down at him, slightly smiling. ‘Happen you’ll shape to be a good officer, after all,’ he said. ‘Lean forward again now: I’ve nearly done.’

  ‘Go on! I’ve got him,’ Vincent said. ‘I’m damned if I know what we do next, though! You’re not going to try to convince the Excisemen he’s been with us all the evening, are you? If we could get rid of the bloodstains here, in the house, which we’ve no hope of doing, the tracks will lead them to the side-door, as soon as there’s light enough for them to be followed.’ He felt Richmond writhe, and his hold on him tightened. ‘Keep still! You’re very well-served if it does hurt: I’ve no sympathy to waste on you! How you can have been such a crass fool as to have gone out on this damned, disreputable business tonight, after all that Hugo said to you, after assuring me you weren’t in mischief, inspires me with only one desire, and that’s to wring your worthless neck!’

  ‘I had to! The casks were still here!’

  ‘Still where?’ Vincent said sharply.

  ‘Here. In the passage. Ever since the last run.’

  ‘What passage?’ Vincent demanded, looking down at him in sudden, astonished suspicion. He could not see his face, however, for a pang of exquisite anguish had made Richmond gasp, and lean his forehead against his supporting arm. Vincent stared down at the top of his dark head. ‘Are you trying to tell me you’ve found the secret passage?’

  Richmond managed to utter: ‘Yes. This end. Spurstow found – the other – ages ago.’

  He stopped, quite unable to continue speaking for several moments. Vincent glanced quickly up at Hugo, but Hugo’s attention seemed to be fixed wholly on what he was doing. Vincent, violently irritated, was obliged to choke back an impatient demand to know whether he was listening.

  He was certainly the only one of those present to remain unmoved. Mrs Flitwick, letting the scissors fall from her fingers, ejaculated: ‘Lawk-a-mussy on us, whatever do you mean, Master Richmond?’

  ‘Richmond, you didn’t?’ Anthea said, quite incredulous.

  ‘The boy’s raving! Doesn’t know what he’s saying!’ pronounced Claud, who had sat up with a jerk.

  ‘Yes, I do. Not difficult – once we’d cleared – the blockage,’ Richmond said thickly. ‘Roof had fallen in – not far from the other entrance. Think it must be – where there’s that dip – in the ground –’

  ‘Never mind that!’ interrupted Vincent.

  ‘No. Well – Spurstow only used it – to store – the run cargoes – till I found out – and knew – must be the passage – and made him – help to clear the blockage. Devil of a task, but managed to do it. Easy, after that. Only had to work out – where the other entrance must have been. In the old part of the house, of course. Cellars. Bricked up. Only fear was – might be heard when we broke through. Servants’ quarters – too close to the old wing. But bad thunderstorm one night – did it then!’

  ‘Well, I’ll be damned!’ said Claud, who had been listening, open-mouthed, to these revelations. ‘You know, there’s no getting away from it! – Young Richmond’s a hell-born babe, all right and tight, but, by Jupiter, he’s a bit of a dab!’

  ‘A bit of a dab to use this house as a smuggler’s store?’ said Vincent, in a voice of scathing contempt.

  ‘I’m not a hell-born babe!’ Richmond lifted his head. ‘It’s no worse than letting them use the barn by the Five Acre – which they’ve always done! Grandpapa wouldn’t say so!’

  ‘My God – !’ Vincent’s eyes again went to Hugo’s face, but he was still not attending. ‘Listen, you young sapskull!’ Vincent said harshly. ‘Can you see no difference between that and becoming yourself a smugger?’

  ‘Oh! Well, – yes, but I didn’t think it was so very bad. I only did it for the sport of it! I don’t benefit by it – and in any event – when Grandpapa said he would never let me be a soldier – I didn’t care about anything any more! You wouldn’t understand. It doesn’t signify.’

  ‘Master Richmond, Master Richmond!’ said Chollacombe, tears of dismay in his eyes. ‘Never did I think to hear –’

  ‘No sense in talking like that!’ snapped Mrs Flitwick. ‘A judgment – that’s what it is! A judgment on those as should have known better, and nothing will make me say different!’

  ‘Sticking-plaster!’ interrupted Hugo imperatively.

  Polyphant, who had constituted himself his assistant, started, and said hurriedly: ‘Yes, sir – immediately! I beg pardon, I am sure! I allowed myself to be distracted, but it shall not occur again! And the scissors! Mrs Flitwick, the scissors! – Good gracious me, ma’am– Ah, I have them!’

  Richmond, wincing as Hugo began to cover his handiwork as tightly as he could with strips of the sticking-plaster, said: ‘Any way – I did it! Ottershaw was always suspicious of Spurstow. Began to watch the Dower House whenever he got word a run was expected. Made it devilish difficult – to use the place. That’s how – I came into it. Saw how I could make Ottershaw look as blue as – as megrim. I did, too. He don’t know now – how the kegs were got into the Dower House. We ran them up here, from the coast, and took them the rest of the way through the passage. But I never had them kept at this end of the passage! Or let them be taken away from here – until tonight, when – nothing else I could do. Knew I might have to, so had it all – trig and trim. Ponies in the Park. Had the kegs carried there: too dangerous to bring ’em up to the house. Only thing was – knew Ottershaw was hot on my scent – couldn’t be sure he wasn’t keeping some kind of a watch on this place too, so – had to lay a false scent. That’s why we did the thing – so early. Ottershaw’s grown too – fly to the time of day. Had to make him think it must be the real run, and we’d hoped to get away before any watch was set on the place. He did.’ Richmond’s head was up, and his sister, gazing at him in horror, saw the glow in his eyes. ‘It was the best chase of them all – my last!’ he said, an exultant little smile on his pale lips. ‘You don’t know – ! If only I hadn’t taken it for granted I was safe on our own ground! – I ought to have known, but I’d shaken off the pursuit, and never dreamed there’d be anyone watching for my return here. I’ve never come back before except by the passage. Jem said I’d be taken at fault one day, but he’s got no stomach at all for a close-run thing. He didn’t like it even when we took all the casks in broad daylight once – pulling in mackerel-nets! Swore he’d never go out with me again, but I knew no Exciseman would think anyone would dare do that, so it wasn’t really very dangerous.’ A tiny laugh broke from him. ‘We were hailed by a naval cutter: you should have seen Jem’s face! But the kegs were hidden under the mackerel – we’d got the Seamew spilling over with them! I offered to sell ’em to the lieutenant aboard the cutter: just joking him! – and of course we came off safe!’

  Claud, who had been listening with his eyes starting from their sockets, drew a long breath. ‘When I think of the way we’ve been living here, never dreaming we’d be a dashed sight safer in a powder-magazine – ! Well, at least there’s one good thing! No need to be afraid he’ll go to Newgate! Well, what I mean is, he’s stark, staring mad! Ought to have put him into Bedlam years ago!’

  ‘Not mad!’ Vincent said. ‘Rope-ripe!’

  ‘There!’ said the Major, pressing down his last strip of sticking-plaster. ‘Cut, Polyphant! I fancy that will do the trick.’

  ‘Beautiful, sir!’ said Polypha
nt, carefully snipping off the dangling end of the plaster. ‘A really prime piece of work, if I may be permitted to say so!’

  ‘We’ll hope it may hold, anyhow. If it doesn’t, we shall all of us end in Newgate!’

  ‘That,’ said Vincent acidly, ‘is extremely likely unless we are able to think what next is to be done! If you can drag your mind away from this damned young scoundrel’s wound, perhaps you’ll apply it to that problem, for it is quite beyond my poor capabilities to solve!’

  ‘Then happen you’ll find that Ajax shall cope the best!’ retorted the Major, with a grin. ‘Now then! we must bustle about a little. The dragoons will have gone to report to Ottershaw, but for aught we know they may not have had to go far, so just do what I’m going to tell you, every one of you, without asking why, or arguing about it! Mrs Flitwick, I want you out of the way until we’re rid of Excisemen: the fewer people to be mixed up in this the better. So you may stay out of sight, and don’t say a word to anyone about what’s been happening! Chollacombe, I want a couple of packs of cards, another brandy-glass, and the clothes you stripped from Mr Richmond – yes, I mean that, so off with you! Anthea, love, slip away to the billiard-room, and fetch Claud’s and my coats, will you? Nay, pluck up, lass! We’re going to save Richmond’s groats, never you fear!’

  She nodded, trying to smile, and hurried away.

  ‘Claud,’ said the Major, a twinkle in his eye, ‘I want every stitch of clothing you’ve got on, except your drawers! Go on, lad, don’t stand gauping at me, or we’ll have Anthea back before we’ve made you respectable again! It’s you that got fired at, not Richmond, and I want your clothes for him!’

  ‘Here, I say, no!’ exclaimed Claud, appalled. ‘If you think I’ll put on Richmond’s clothes – dash it, even if they weren’t soaked in blood I wouldn’t like it, and –’

  ‘Get your shoes off, and be quick about it!’ interrupted Vincent, advancing upon him. ‘If you don’t, I’ll knock you out and strip you myself! Hurry!’

  The look on his face was so alarming that Claud sat down hastily to untie his exquisitely ironed shoestrings. No sooner were his shoes and striped socks off than Vincent jerked him to his feet, ripped off his neckcloth, and began to unbutton his waistcoat, commanding him to do the same to his breeches. Over his shoulder, he said: ‘I make you my compliments, Hugo! But why was Claud skulking in the wood? I see that no Exciseman in his right senses could possibly think him engaged in smuggling but we must have some reason to account for his running away when challenged!’

  ‘Nay, lad!’ said the Major reproachfully, tossing Richmond’s rent and blood-soaked shirt on to the floor. ‘You’ve got a short memory! He thought it was the Ackletons, lying in wait to rend him limb from limb, of course! Happen it gave him such a fright that he didn’t hear just what they were shouting – nothing about halting in the name of the King, for instance! – and when they took to firing at him, what could he do but run for his life? Let alone he’d have no weapon, he was in a very ticklish situation – having been trysting with that prime article of virtue the Ackletons forbade him ever to look at again!’

  ‘I’ll be damned if I have anything to do with a story like that!’ declared Claud indignantly. ‘Why, I’d never be able to show my face here again!’

  ‘Why should you want to?’ said Vincent, who was shaking with laughter. ‘It’s magnificent, Hugo! Here, Polyphant, take these, and give me Mr Richmond’s! Claud, there’s no need to look at Richmond’s breeches: all you have to do is to step into them: I’ll even pull ’em up for you! They’ll be a tight fit, but you won’t have to sit down in them: we’ll stretch you out on the sofa!’

  Claud, bullied and hustled into his cousin’s obnoxious breeches, was so much incensed that he became quite scarlet in the face as he informed his relatives, in impassioned accents, that nothing would induce him to take part in the proposed drama. ‘I ain’t handy with my fists, and I don’t like turn-ups, but I ain’t a rum ’un, and I’m damned if I’ll have you two cooking up a story like that about me! Not if you were to offer me a fortune!’

  ‘No one will offer you a fortune, brother,’ said Vincent, pushing him on to the sofa, and picking up one of Richmond’s boots. ‘Pull this on! – all you will be offered, if you don’t do as you’re bid, is a facer heavy enough to send you to sleep while we exhibit you to the Excisemen!’

  ‘Think, lad!’ Hugo interposed. ‘If we’re to hoax Ottershaw, we must have a tale that’s got some likelihood to it, for he’ll not swallow it readily!’

  ‘Likelihood?’ gasped Claud. ‘Well, of all the –’

  ‘Nay, how should he know whether you’re a right one, or a pudding-heart?’ said Hugo hastily. ‘What, you may depend upon it, he does know, is what happened to Ackleton, the night he came up here, and the silly way he’s been blustering ever since about what he’ll do to you, if he gets the chance. Knowing that much for truth, he’ll find it hard to disbelieve the rest surely enough to put our tale to the test – for he knows well that if he were to make a false accusation against Richmond there’d be the devil to pay, and no pitch hot for him!’ He paused, and then, as Claud still looked mutinous, added: ‘It’s no matter if you’re made to look foolish, Claud. If we can’t conceal the truth from Ottershaw, it’s not only Richmond who’ll be laid low, but every Darracott amongst us.’

  Richmond said suddenly: ‘No! You can’t ask Claud to do that! I wouldn’t – I couldn’t!’

  ‘That we believe!’ retorted Vincent. ‘It is possible, however, that Claud cares more for our name than you have given us reason to suppose you do! Come, Claud! what odds does it make to you if a parcel of hicks laugh at you?’ He added, rather unfortunately: ‘They’ve been laughing at you for years!’

  The astonished gratification with which Claud had listened to the first part of this speech changed rapidly. A mulish look came into his face, and he was just about to deliver himself of a flat refusal to sacrifice himself for the sake of any family of which his brother was a member, when Polyphant, engaged in tieing the neckcloth round Richmond’s neck, saved the situation by saying: ‘If I may take the liberty, Mr Vincent, I venture to say – with the greatest deference, sir! – that Mr Claud is equal to anything!’

  Claud wavered. Anthea came back into the room at that moment, and was not unnaturally staggered to find him sketchily attired in her brother’s bloodstained breeches, and top-boots. The reason for this peculiar transformation was briefly explained to her, whereupon she instantly threw herself into the obviously necessary task of persuading Claud to immolate himself. Without allowing him an opportunity to speak, she thanked him with so much warmth as to make it extremely hard for him to disabuse her mind of its apparent conviction that he had consented. By the time she had marvelled at his nobility, prophesied the reverence with which he would for ever afterwards be regarded by them all, and declared her positive belief in his ability to carry the thing off to admiration, Claud had become so far reconciled to the scheme as to raise no further objection to it.

  Polyphant, who had come into his own with the necessity of arraying Richmond in his borrowed plumage, then called upon the Major to assist him in the task of getting him into Claud’s coat. It was plain that he was revelling in the affair, but only he knew the cause of his elation; and none could have guessed that while his nimble fingers coped with shoestrings, buttons, and neckcloth, his mind was filled with the vision of himself triumphant beyond his wildest dreams over the odious Crimplesham. Crimplesham might never learn just what had taken place on this fateful evening, but Crimplesham would know, like everyone else, that there had been very strange goings-on from which he had been rigorously excluded, with such insignificant persons as the footmen, while his rival had been in the thick of it, the trusted confidant of even his own master. And if Crimplesham tried to discover what had happened, Polyphant had every intention of proving himself worthy of the trust reposed in him by replying that his lips were sealed
, which would undoubtedly infuriate Crimplesham very much indeed.

  ‘Now, sir!’ he said, with the authority of one who knew himself to be an expert, ‘if you will be so obliging as to do precisely what I shall request you to do, I trust I shall be able to manage to put Mr Richmond into both waistcoat and coat – you will observe that I have placed one within the other – without causing him to feel too much discomfort, and without disturbing your handiwork, sir. From you, Mr Richmond, I wish for no assistance at all. Do not attempt, I most earnestly implore you, to shrug your sound shoulder into the garment! You will please to leave it entirely to me. Fortunately, you are of slighter build than Mr Claud: indeed, we must hope that the Riding-officer is not a person of ton (if you will pardon the jest!), and so will not think your coat sadly ill-fitting, must we not?’

  Talking chattily all the time, he began to ease Richmond into the coat. Claud, watching him with a jaundiced eye, expressed his conviction that he was going about it in quite the wrong way; but the Major meekly obeyed such instructions as he was given; and by the time Chollacombe came into the room the difficult feat had been performed with a competence that drew a Well-done! from the Major. Polyphant bowed his acknowledgment, saying that he would now slip upstairs to collect one of Mr Claud’s black silk socks. ‘For it occurs to me, sir, that a few snips with the scissors will make it a tolerable mask, and we must not forget, must we, that Mr Richmond’s face was blackened? So you will pardon me if I now absent myself for a very few moments!’

  He then departed, sped on his way by a bitter recommendation from his master to ruin a few more of his garments while he was about it.

  The Major picked up his own coat, and had just shrugged himself into it when Anthea, whose hearing was very acute, caught the sound of hoof-beats, and said sharply: ‘Listen! Hugo, they’re coming!’

  ‘Well, we could have done with another few minutes, but happen we’ll make shift without them,’ he responded calmly. ‘Vincent, go up to the drawing-room before they start knocking on the door – or, if his lordship’s come down to the library, join him there! You’ve been writing letters – anything you choose! – and you’ve not been next or nigh the rest of us. Keep Ottershaw brangling with the old gentleman: that oughtn’t to be difficult! I must see Claud bandaged up, and the scene well set, and then I’ll come up. There’s no time to tell you how I want you to play your part, but make me tell you why I want to speak privately to you! Quick, man! Here they are!’ He fairly thrust Vincent from the room, and turned to Chollacombe. ‘Not in too much of a hurry to open the door to them!’ he warned him. ‘You’re not expecting any such visitors, so you may look as surprised as you please, but take care you look affronted too! Treat them just as you would any vulgar person who came here asking impertinent questions – not that I think they’ll ask you any. All I want of you is that you shall bear it in mind that Mr Claud has met with an accident, which is no business of any Exciseman, and that Mr Richmond and I have been playing cards here all the evening. Don’t take them straight to his lordship: shut them into the Green Saloon, and say you’ll inform his lordship! Mr Vincent will take care he don’t refuse to see them. Once you’ve taken them to the drawing-room, don’t show yourself again!’