“I knew it!” Connor yelled. He paced the floor as his growing rage seemed to fill the air. “I knew it, I felt it.”
“Connor, calm down!” Hannah yelled as tears escaped. She’d witnessed Connor lose control in the past, and knew there would be no stopping him from confronting Sean. Hannah couldn’t handle anyone else being hurt because of her, regardless of what Sean had done. She gripped Connor’s arm.
“When he gets here, I swear I’ll break every bone in his hands.”
Hannah was losing him. He let out a pressure filled grunt just before he ripped his arm free and punched the wall. She flinched, wanting nothing more than to curl up in a ball on the floor, but she feared Connor’s reaction more than the threat of her own flashbacks. He wasn’t even phased by his bloody knuckles or the dent he’d put in Emmitt’s wall.
“Let me see your hand,” she commanded. She couldn’t get her hands to stop trembling as she turned on the faucet and held his hand underneath. “Look at your hand, Connor.”
“It’s nothing compared to what I’m gonna do to his face.”
“Sit down so I can wrap it.” Hannah wrapped half a spool of tissue around his hand and held a cold washcloth to his head. None of it appeared to calm his fidgeting knees.
“The truth,” Hannah looked him in eye and Connor finally gave her his full attention. “Okay, Sean and I have been arguing a lot lately and I did cry the other night, but it was only from frustration. Sean would never do anything to hurt me.” She held Connor’s face, forcing him to meet her eyes. “I’m telling you the truth.”
He still looked skeptical, but at least he looked calmer.
“I’m all right. I really am and I’m sorry that my dodging you made you think it was more than it really was.”
Hannah hugged him and he stood and squeezed her tight. She’d never get over how he towered over her. It felt like forever since she’d gotten a Connor hug. She especially loved the way he held her head to his chest. She missed the safety of his arms, spending hours wrestling with him and Emmitt over which game to watch, and the endless debates about their futures. Unlike Emmitt, who could only be concerned about the here and now, Hannah and Connor we’re always trying to map out their lives, plotting every possible moment down to the number of grandkids they hoped to one day have.
Hannah found herself overwhelmed by a whole new guilt when she stopped to think about the past couple of months. “I’m sorry,” she whispered letting her tears fall again, but this time they were for her friend, who she’d left to handle everything in her absence. Connor was the rock of their circle, but it was Hannah who he’d usually come to when his position was too heavy to bear.
“It was never you I was running from and I’m sorry I’ve left you on your own.”
“I don’t care about that. I just wanted to know that you were okay.”
Connor pulled her back, drying her tears with his tissue-bandaged hand before wrapping his arms around her again. Hannah spent most of her days trying to bury the guilt of her actions, but being in Emmitt and Ellie’s house left her no escape. She was the one who’d dumped Sean that night. It was a decision she’d regret for the rest of her life.
“I’m sorry for upsetting you,” Connor attempting to rub the trembles out of her back.
“It’s not you. It’s being here, seeing Emmitt, it hurts too much.”
“I know, it’s hard for me too, but Emmitt needs all of us right now.”
Hannah stepped back when Connor finally took a deep and calming breath. She victoriously held his good hand and grinned.
“You’re right. I guess we better get back out there.”
Hannah opened the bathroom door to find Emmitt waiting for them with his arms folded. One down, one to go, Hannah thought, though she was sure this conversation was going to be a lot harder to navigate, given what went down the night of the accident.
“You get the answers you needed?” Emmitt asked Connor who nodded as he gripped Hannah’s bad shoulder. It took everything in her not to yelp or tense up.
“Good, you and Brian can make sure Kristen gets home all right. I need to talk to Hannah alone.”
Chapter Eight
Dax/Kristen
Dax had exhausted his online search while Noelle looked through his yearbooks.
“This shouldn’t be so hard. It’s not like there’s that many gingers in Crissana.”
“How do you know you’re even looking for a ginger? I thought you said her hair was cherry red?”
“It was.”
“So, then she’s not an original redhead. With all the new semi-permanents on the market you could be looking for any color hair. Plus, it’s a new semester so it’s probably a new change.”
Dax spun around in his desk chair to face her. “You’re right, but that makes the search that much harder.”
“Not necessarily. It’s just going to take some footwork.”
“And how am I supposed to do that when she knows who I am?”
“She doesn’t know I’m working with you, does she?”
“I’m not sure. Just keep an eye out, but don’t draw too much attention to yourself, if she thinks we’re closing in, she might retaliate with that photo of you and Sean.”
Noelle froze at the sound of his name and grabbed her phone. “Connor hasn’t called.”
“I’m sure they have a lot of catching up to do.”
“But what about Sean? If the two of them get into it…”
“You’re the one who gave away their location.”
“Only because I was upset. Now I’m worried something could come out.”
“Like what? Do you really think Sean’s going to go over to Emmitt’s and admit you two slept together in front of Hannah and her friends?”
“I guess you’re right. I just hate the idea of the two of them crossing paths. I mean Connor hated Sean long before the accident and now I don’t know what he might do.”
“Boy, wouldn’t I love to see that fight. Who do you think would win?”
Noelle turned to see Dax’s raised eyebrow. “It depends on who’s asking: my friend or the Sun Vlogger?”
“Come on. I need a good story to headline for tomorrow. A fantasy fight poll between those two would get my site a lot of traffic. Just tell me who you’d vote for?”
“No.”
“Oh come on, are you telling me you wouldn’t vote for your boyfriend. Have you seen his arms? It’s like he’s bench pressing people instead of weights. And of course, he has the good Christian thing going for him. He’s a modern day David.”
“But Sean is an athlete.”
“And? He hasn’t been on the team for nearly a year and he’s more talk than he is muscle. My vote is Connor all day every day.”
“Whatever.”
“Huh?” Dax smirked. “I seem to recall a time when Connor Cristos was your everything, now you won’t even bet on him in a fantasy fight. Is the Connor/Noelle saga coming to an end?”
“No.”
“Noelle, you might as well spill it. I’m going to find out anyway.”
Noelle rolled her eyes and sighed. “I love Connor, but he’s always leaving me behind to hang out with his friends. He’s got all this history with them and I’m always stuck on the outside.”
Dax didn’t have the heart to tell her that The Six was an impossible circle to crack. Dax was still scratching his head at how Brian made it in. He’d only lived in Crissana for a year but people accepted him as if he were one of the originals. Not even the split with Kristen seemed to change his status. Still, Noelle did have to ability to become an affiliate. Her name was already synonymous with Connor. If she could only form a friendship with one of the girls she’d be set.
“Noelle, you’re always going to be on the outside until you actually make an effort with his friends.”
“There’s no chance of that happening now. The only one that was half nice to me was Hannah and I can’t be friends with her.”
“Why not?”
“Sean wouldn’t let that happen. He’s paranoid enough about losing her.”
“He said that? Like those exact words.”
“Dax, stop fishing for dirt on Sean. He’s really messed up about the accident and your vlogs aren’t helping.”
“Then tell him to change schools. Ellie’s death is probably the biggest drama Crissana has seen since Hannah’s dad OD’d. I have a duty to my followers to share the whole story, and I’ve been more than fair to that asshole.”
“He’s not an asshole.”
“Okay, pause for a second. That is the third time you’ve defended Amarko. If I didn’t know any better I’d think you’re developing a crush.”
“I am not. I just feel bad for him.”
“So you two had pity sex?”
“Look, you have no idea what it’s like to date someone you want so badly only to be constantly shot down. Sean was nice to me and he made me feel wanted.”
“So how was it?”
“Off the record?”
“Okay, fine. Off the record, how was he?”
Noelle’s grin said it all. “I mean it’s the perfect set up for us. He’s not having sex with Hannah and I’m doing everything but sex with Connor. And he was really sweet. He even took me to his family’s house in Sedona.”
“Doesn’t sound like you two are done.”
“Unfortunately we are. He said he couldn’t hurt Hannah anymore.”
“But if he changed his mind would you do it again?”
Noelle rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. “I don’t know.”
If she kept this up, she and Connor wouldn’t make it to Christmas. Dax was okay either way. Connor was more valuable to him single and Noelle would spill every crumb of dirt she had on him once they were over.
“Hey, what about Kristen? She just lost a friend and a boyfriend. That should be enough vulnerability for her to need a new friend.”
Noelle rolled her eyes. “Hell no, I hate her just as much as I did Ellie, maybe more. You know she and Connor dated, right?”
“Yeah, but that was years ago.”
“So, it doesn’t matter that she still acts like his girlfriend, telling him what to do, and always asking him to help her with stuff? You should’ve seen the two of them at lunch today. They were arguing about something, but it was the way they argued. There I was, sitting on Connor’s lap, and the two of them were bickering like a couple, as if I wasn’t even there.”
“Well, I doubt you’ll get anywhere with Tristin, so it looks like Kristen is your best shot to getting in with Connor’s friends.”
Noelle thought about it for a second. “Why even bother? I shouldn’t have to work this hard to be a part of my boyfriend’s life.”
“With some guys you’d be absolutely right, but you have to remember Connor isn’t just any guy. He’s an investment for your future. Think about it, he’s got great character, he’s loyal, and with his grades, he’s bound to get into a good school. I know he might not seem all that appealing now, but trust me; he could be your ticket out of Crissana.”
Dax could see the wheels churning in her head. He was certain he’d just given team Connor a huge boost.
“I’ll give it a try, but I doubt it will work. Kristen probably hates me just as much as I hate her.”
***
“I could’ve driven myself home,” Kristen said from the backseat.
Brian shook his head and Connor nodded in agreement.
“We’ll drop your car off later,” Connor said.
Kristen huffed and folded her arms. She hated being treated like a defenseless girl. So she got a little freaked out earlier over Sean, it was only because of what she knew he’d done to Hannah.
Her eyes widened when she realized the boys had muffed up her plan. Hannah needed to come home with her so that she wouldn’t have to face Sean.
“Wait, we need to go back. I forgot Hannah was coming over to my house tonight.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll give her a ride if she still wants to come over.”
“Connor, you have to make sure that she does,” Kristen said trying to hide her urgency. “Promise me you’ll do that.”
“I will if you promise me something.”
“What?”
“No more secrets.”
“What are you—“
“Kris, I knew you’d been taking to Hannah all week, all right? I saw the texts when you gave me your phone on Saturday.”
Kristen was speechless.
“Look, I wasn’t snooping or anything like that and I’m sorry for snapping at you. I just couldn’t believe you would keep something like that from me when you knew how worried I was about Hannah.”
“She begged me not to.”
“I get it, but I feel like there’s still something she’s not telling me and I need to be able to depend on you to tell me if you think something’s not right.
“I will,” Kristen lied and texted Tristin for backup.
Hannah’s at Emmitt’s
but she’s too scared to
see Sean. I’m almost
home, but promised
Hannah that I’d help.
What should I do?
It wasn’t until she hit send that she remembered Brian was sitting in the passenger seat. He was so quiet.
She pulled her knees to her chest and hid her face, waiting for Tristin to reply.
“You okay?” Connor asked. Kristen looked up to see he was watching her in the rearview mirror and she grinned and nodded. When he grinned back she finally exhaled. She hated fighting with him. Especially with no way of avoiding him. It was comforting knowing he’d always be there for her. Even riding in the same car with Brian felt doable because Connor was there. She felt bad for lying to him about Hannah, but just as he and Emmitt wanted to protect them, she, Hannah, and Tristin had a duty to protect the boys from themselves.
Connor pulled into her driveway and he and Brian both got out. Brian looked between her and Connor and shook his head. “Sorry, force of habit I guess.” He got back inside and closed the door.
Connor pulled Kristen in for a hug and she buried her face in his chest.
“You sure you’re okay?”
“No, but this helps.”
He responded by squeezing her tighter.
“I know how hard it must be for you to be around him after everything. I’ll make sure he stays away from you.”
“You don’t have to do anything. I’ll be fine.”
“Kris.” Connor pulled her back and met her eyes. “It’s my job to look out for you.”
“I appreciate it, but Brian is a part of the group now. I don’t want him ostracized because of what happened.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, but if you change your mind, you just say the word.”
Connor walked her to the door and Kristen handed him her keys after unlocking her front door.
“I’m gonna give Emmitt and Hannah some time to talk, and then I’ll bring her back with your car.”
“Thanks.”
She gave him a quick hug before going inside. Tears fell on the way up to her room. The day had been so full of drama that she supposed they were a delayed reaction. Her phone chimed and she pulled it out as she tossed her bags onto her bed.
Don’t worry about
Sean. After tonight,
I’ll make sure he never
goes near Hannah again.
Kristen had no idea what her sister was planning, but if it meant getting Sean away from Hannah, she was in.
Chapter Nine
Hannah/Emmitt
“Have a seat,” Emmitt said at little too calmly for Hannah’s taste. She could see his nervousness, and fought hard to hide hers.
“I don’t want to hold you against your will, but please just stay and hear me out.”
She sat on the edge of his bed, unable to
refuse a request from him, and Emmitt sat beside her. He flashed a quick grin that made Hannah relax a little, but he still looked so tired and run down.
“I can’t tell you how much I’ve missed you,” Emmitt said taking her hand. “I’ve been worried out of my mind.” He caressed each of her fingers before pressing her knuckles to his lips.
Hannah could’ve sworn her heart stopped. She had to force herself to breath and remind herself that she still needed to convince him that she was all right. “I’m fine.”
Emmitt met her eyes and shook his head. “You can lie to everyone else, but not to me. Do you remember what you told me before the accident?”
Hannah nodded, feeling her tears threatening to fall again.
“So did you really change your mind, or did you go back to Sean out of pity?”
Hannah looked away, her tears trailing down her cheeks. She couldn’t form the words to answer his question, but she knew it was the latter. There was only one person she’d ever truly loved. Being this close, having him hold her hand should’ve been a dream come true, only it wasn’t. Her poor decisions had made it impossible for them to ever be together.
For a brief moment at the bonfire she let herself believe otherwise, but Ellie’s death changed everything. It was all her fault. If she hadn’t broken up with Sean or kissed Emmitt, none of these horrible things would’ve ever happened.
“Hannah, there’s something you need to know.”
“Please don’t,” she whispered drying her eyes with her sleeve. “It won’t change anything.”
Hannah stood and grabbed her bag on her way to the window, but Emmitt grabbed her arm and pulled her into a kiss.
She broke their connection, overcome by tears and Emmitt tried to hold her. “Please, just let me go. Please?”
“Not until you see this.” Emmitt led her to his desk and turned on the monitor.
Hannah recognized Sean and sat down in the desk chair. She was stunned to silence when she noticed the pill bottle in his hand.
“He’s been taking them for months,” Emmitt said.
It all began to click. His mood swings, the reason he sometimes seemed like two different people. She couldn’t believe she didn’t see it before.