“A kiss?” My chest rose and fell sharply.
“Not just a kiss.” He shook his head as he dragged his thumb along my lower lip. “It’s the way you feel against me—the way your body just softens right into mine. It’s those tiny sounds you make when you’re liking what I’m doing. It’s the way I get as hard as a baseball bat if I even think your name. And it’s been that way since I saw you in those damn little shorts.”
My mind zoomed back to the day I was moving in. “Those were some little shorts.”
“No shit.” His voice dropped a level. “I’m going to be honest. After we hooked up, I wanted to get right back inside you, and it was real hard not to accidentally run into you again in those days afterward. I didn’t think it would happen again. That’s just my practice, but when you tore into my ass in the middle of the bar, you caught my attention, and it isn’t going anywhere.”
In my chest, my heart started jumping around.
“I know I said I wanted us to be friends, but obviously, I’m shitty at the boundaries that friends have,” he continued, his gaze never leaving mine. “Things are different now than they were then.”
Because of the baby.
“I don’t know what’s going to happen between us, but I know we can’t be just friends.” His forehead dipped to mine, and I sucked in an unsteady breath. “And I know—yeah, I know—you can’t just be friends with me. Friends don’t kiss like that and friends sure as fuck don’t come like you did around my cock and my fingers.”
Oh dear.
Those lips curved up at the corners. “So that’s why I haven’t been with anyone else, and I don’t plan on changing that. Not when you and I are going to try to make the best of this.”
Make the best of this? My thoughts spun those words around and around in my head. They weren’t the most romantic or the most promising, but they were the truth, and more than that, they were realistic expectations, and that was something I valued higher than pretty words.
Even though pretty words were nice to hear from time to time.
“Yeah.” I smiled up at him, feeling a bit shaken. “We’ll make the best of this.”
Making it work between us was immediately tested not even five minutes after we finished the yummy dinner. The in-home nurse had called.
Nick answered right away. “What’s happening, Kira?” Whatever she said on the phone wasn’t good, because his eyes closed and he pinched the bridge of his nose. “No—it’s okay. I’ll be right over. Yeah—no, it’s fine.”
When he hung up the phone, I spoke first. “You have to go. I understand.”
“I’m sorry. My grandfather is having another . . . thing.” He started to rise.
“Like I said, I totally understand.” I’d popped up. “Do you want me to go with you?”
The look on Nick’s face wasn’t something I’d forget in a long time. He looked horrified by the idea of me joining him. “No. That’s not necessary. Not at all.”
I didn’t take it personally, but I’d wanted to tell him that I could handle whatever was happening with his grandfather. However, I didn’t want to delay him further. Nick had started for the door, shrugging his jacket on. But before he left, he returned to where I stood and kissed me. Much like the first one, the sensations it evoked were shattering and devastating, with all the feelings it stirred to the surface.
I felt that kiss the whole time I was cleaning up.
The week leading up to Halloween ticked by with a weird feeling of things moving too slow and yet too fast at the same time. Being pregnant made me hyperaware of the passing of time, something I hadn’t really paid attention to before. Now everything in my head was catalogued by weeks.
Dan, one of the Lima brothers whom I’d met on my first day, had taken Rick and another salesperson on a business trip to the West Coast. I wanted to throw a little party at my desk. Maybe I’d get lucky and Rick would end up staying on the opposite coast. My heightened sensitivity to smell and to jackasses approved of such a move.
I was busy at work the entire week, helping Marcus prepare for his own business trip in November. He would be going to my hometown to help get all the approvals necessary for expanding the academy. I still wondered if Andrew’s daughter had an idea that her father was setting up shop there. I hadn’t seen her since the day Brock was hurt, and I hadn’t see him either.
On Thursday, Nick had surprised me with a text saying he was going to be in the city in an hour and asking if I wanted to get together for lunch. What shouldn’t have been a big deal had my stomach tumbled in knots. How crazy was it that it was the first time I’d ever done something like this with a guy I was interested in?
I had all this experience, but a lot was still unknown to me.
Grabbing my purse off the desk, I headed down to the gym level and immediately saw Nick crossing the street, heading toward the academy. I stepped outside and waited on the sidewalk.
His dark hair was growing, and I liked it that he was wearing it down. It was artfully messy and suited his striking face by softening the harder lines. Wearing his worn leather jacket, he hopped up on the sidewalk and stalked toward me. I couldn’t stop the smile from forming. I was such a goober.
“Hey,” he said, stopping in front of me. Pulling his hands out of the pockets of his jeans, he attacked the buttons on my coat. “Were you so excited to see me you couldn’t put your jacket on correctly?”
I rolled my eyes. “Yep. You got me.”
He chuckled as he finished with the last button near my neck. “I don’t want you getting sick.”
Since that was kind of cute, I didn’t undo the last button even though I felt like it was one inch away from choking me. “I thought we could hit up this diner two blocks down. They’re fast and I’ve always been able to find a seat.
“Fine with me.”
Nick fell in step next to me as we headed toward the crosswalk, navigating the steady stream of people. Our arms brushed every couple of steps, making me aware of how close our hands were. Would he hold my hand? Should I initiate the contact?
Why was I even thinking about any of that?
Mentally kicking myself, I glanced over at him as we waited for the little person in the box to turn green. “So what brought you into the city?”
“I was shopping for a Halloween costume.”
“What?” I laughed.
He grinned. “I’m kidding. Though Roxy has Jax convinced that we all should dress up for Halloween this Saturday.”
“Are you dressing up?” Excitement bubbled up. I loved Halloween, and every year, I always got into it, dressing up and finding a party to go to. This year was going to be different, though. Even if I did know someone who was throwing a party, going to one felt weird knowing that I’d be six weeks pregnant. Or maybe that wasn’t weird and pregnant chicks still went to parties and bars and stuff. I had no idea. I needed to Google that later.
“I’m going as a bartender,” Nick answered.
I grinned as we crossed the street. Wind caught my hair, tossing it around my face. “That’s real creative, Nick.”
“I know, right? I think Roxy will be shocked,” he replied, grinning. “I actually came in this morning to talk to the admission people over at Strayer University about their online masters program.”
“Really?” I reached up, snagging a piece of hair that was trying to get in my mouth. “You’re seriously considering enrolling?”
He nodded, and I thought that either the cold wind was pinking his cheeks or he was flushing. “Yeah, I’d been toying with the idea for a while and right now seems like a good time to make that move. Financially I’m doing okay, but with the baby coming, I need to . . .” His brows pinched, and my breath caught in my chest. “I need to really start thinking about the future. There’s no excuse for me not to do online classes, and with the way things are goin
g with my grandfather, the flexibility of bartending isn’t going to be necessary for that much longer.”
The chill that skated over my skin had little to do with the cold. “What are you saying?”
Nick glanced over at me, his expression blank until I saw his eyes. Pain surfaced there, clearly visible. “I don’t think he has very much longer.”
“What?” My step faltered on the middle of the sidewalk outside the diner. “Nick—God, I’m sorry. Are you . . . are you sure?”
He stood, shoving his hands back in his pockets. “Yeah, on Tuesday I had to take him into his doctor, and with the episodes becoming more and more frequent, it’s kind of like the writing on the wall, you know? He was kind of hovering between the last two stages of the diseases, six and seven, the last year, but he’s definitely in the final stage now and he’s started having problems swallowing and . . . yeah, it’s happening.”
I pressed my hand against my chest, above my heart. “I don’t know what to say.”
“I know. It’s not easy to even think about him passing, because no matter what fucked up things happened growing up, he was always there for me.” He cut those words off abruptly and looked away. “I don’t want to take him out of his home, so I’m meeting with . . . with Hospice next week.” Nick cleared his throat. “Then they’ll come out and see him. I think I’ve got time with him, but . . . it’s nearing the end. I just know it is.”
There really weren’t words for things like this, so I stepped forward and placed my hand on his arm. His gaze shot to mine, and I stretched up, pressing my lips against his cheek. When I settled back on my heels, I still held on to his arm. “I’d like to meet your grandfather, Nick.”
He didn’t respond for a moment. “It’s not easy being with him sometimes.”
“I know.” A cab raced by, blowing its horn.
Nick looked like he wanted to say more, but he stepped to the side and opened the door to the diner. “Come on. Let’s stuff our faces.”
We had a good lunch, chatting about nothing important, and Nick didn’t bring up his grandfather again. There was no mistaking the fact that even though Nick and I were attempting to bring our lives together, some things were still so very separate.
And it wasn’t just him.
It was me, too.
That night, I texted Roxy about Halloween at Mona’s, partly out of boredom, but mostly due to curiosity. She was most definitely dressing up, but she wouldn’t tell me what she was going as.
You shld come and see for urself! It will be fun!
I stared at Roxy’s text, and the humming excitement from earlier returned. It would be nice to get out and do something. Since I’d moved here, I hadn’t really done anything social except Sunday Fun-day, and the two times I’d gone to Mona’s. I was getting tired of seeing the inside of my apartment, but should I really go to a bar? I texted that question to Roxy.
Her response made me laugh. I didn’t suggest u come and get drunk. So why not? And a follow-up text pointed out that Avery had been in Mona’s after finding out she was pregnant. I had forgotten that, but I did remember Cam stood around her like her own personal bumper car if anyone got too close.
Yeah, why not? I still wasn’t too sure, so I decided to Google it, and then I immediately regretted doing so, because of opinions. Dear God, everyone had opinions. But the most hilarious thing I discovered, when typing out Is it okay for pregnant woman to go, Google autopopulated it as: Is it okay for pregnant woman to go to a haunted house.
What the what?
The consensus was that it was pretty much okay as long as it was safe. Mona’s didn’t allow smoking inside and the place wasn’t wild.
Early pregnancy must affect memory, because I ended up forgetting about it until Saturday evening. Handing out candy was a total bust since only a handful of kids lived in the condo and they piled into cars and drove into the city or to subdivisions. I found myself standing in front of my closet, holding a large bowl of candy. Mindlessly searching out boxes of Nerds, I debated my options. I could sit here and pig out on sugar or I could get my ass in a car and go hang out with people.
Being pregnant didn’t mean I needed to sequester myself.
And the anticipation brewing inside of me was another good reason to go. I wanted to see Nick because I . . . I actually missed him. With our opposite schedules and what was going on with his grandfather, it limited the time we could see each other. And it didn’t help that neither of us was real skilled when it came to the whole relationship business. We didn’t make plans to see each other like I imagined normal couples did.
I was going to change that.
Mind made up, I put the candy bowl on the counter, got changed, started toward the door, backtracked to grab a handful of Nerds for much needed sustenance for my sweet-pea-sized baby during my reentry into society.
Mona’s parking lot was the opposite of packed. For Halloween, I expected it to be busier, but I could count on both hands how many cars I saw. Grabbing my beaded clutch off the seat, I headed into the bar.
A few older guys were back at the pool tables, the sound of balls clanking off one another breaking up the low hum of music. My gaze swiveled to the bar. A lot of the stools were empty. As I walked forward, I saw that Calla was in town. Her long blond hair was pulled up in a ponytail and she was waitressing, if the apron was any indication. The white T-shirt and black shorts were vaguely familiar. It was the green sticker on her shirt that gave it away. I grinned.
Calla was dressed like Sookie Stackhouse.
Then I saw Roxy standing near her.
I burst out laughing. Her hair was hidden under a brown wig that looked like someone had taken a weed whacker to it, and her normally purple glasses were replaced with round, owlish-shaped ones. If the lightning mark drawn on her forehead with what appeared to be an eyebrow pencil wasn’t a dead giveaway, the black cloak and red and gold scarf was.
“Harry Potter?” I asked as I hopped up on an empty seat, placing the clutch in front of me. “You dressed up as Harry Potter?”
She grinned as she grabbed a bottle of tequila. “You have no idea how long I’ve been planning for this.”
Calla leaned against the bar beside me. “We went with a book theme. Of course, we were the only two people who actually followed through.”
Remembering what Nick had said, I wasn’t surprised. “Can you even see with those glasses?”
“Barely,” Roxy chirped. “But it’s worth it.”
Reece walked past me, coming from the direction of the restrooms, dressed as a convict in a white and black striped outfit. Ironic. “It’s kind of weird that my girlfriend is now a prepubescent boy.”
“Only if you make it weird,” Roxy replied before turning her big-eyed stare on me. “Glad you decided to come out. Who are you dressed as?”
I glanced down at myself. “Um . . . a lazy college student?”
“Nice,” Reece replied, angling his body toward mine. “And I hear congratulations are in order.”
Nodding, I was surprised to feel my cheeks heat up as Calla bobbed her head. “Yes!” she exclaimed. “God, I’m lame. Congrats! You and Avery are going to have like baby twins. Though she’s a couple of months ahead of you.”
That wasn’t weird or anything if I thought about it. “Thank you,” I said, meaning it.
Reece grinned over my head at Calla. “You’re next. I keep telling Jax that.”
“Oh no. I’m not open for baby business any time soon.” Calla looked pointedly at Roxy. “Maybe it’s going to be a little Reece or Roxy Anders next.”
Reece nearly choked on his drink.
Shaking her head, Roxy wisely ignored both of them. “Soda or water?” she asked me.
“Do you have ginger ale?”
Calla clucked her tongue with sympathy. “Are you feeling nauseous?”
br /> “Not right now, but I’ve been drinking so much of it, I think I’m addicted,” I explained.
She glanced at the door as two women roamed in. “How has your morning sickness been? I know Avery has been having a horrible time with it.”
“I’ve been lucky so far, because it hasn’t been too bad. My mom seems to think it will be like her.” The two women who came into the bar sat at one of the round tables in the center. They picked up laminated menus. “She had a fairly easy pregnancy.”
“I hope for your sake it is. The stuff Avery has been telling me makes me want to swear off pregnancy for life.” Calla shuddered. “With Cam traveling back and forth between Shepherd and D.C., he’s missing out on all the fun stuff.”
“He’s still playing soccer?” I asked.
She nodded as she glanced over at the women. “Be right back.”
As Calla hurried over to the customers, I glanced around the bar. Roxy placed a glass of iced ginger ale in front of me.
“Nick’s back in the kitchen,” Reece said, obviously reading my mind. “Does he know you’re here?”
“I didn’t tell him I was coming out.” I sipped the drink, loving how the fizzing bubbles burst across my tongue. “I kind of decided to come out last minute.”
Roxy frowned as she turned her attention to Reece. “Back up. Why would she need to tell him, Reece?”
Her boyfriend opened his mouth and then took a moment, appearing to consider what he was about to say so he didn’t dig himself a grave he couldn’t climb out of. I bit down on my lip to stop myself from grinning. “What I’m trying to say,” he stated slowly, his eyes on Roxy, “is that he would probably just like to know where his girl is, and if she wanted me to, I could go and get him.”
I was Nick’s girl? Suddenly I wanted to giggle.
Roxy did not appear amused. Her frown deepened. “And why would he need to know where she is?”
He raised an eyebrow. “Maybe because . . . he cares?”
“Or maybe because he needs to realize that she’s a grown woman who doesn’t need to inform him of her coming and goings.”