My phone dings with yet another text message and I furiously swipe at the tears on my cheeks, pick the damn thing up, and lift my arm to hurl it against the wall. My eyes flicker to the screen and I slowly lower my arm and stare at the new text message from an unknown number
Hey, it’s Eli. Would you look at that. It seems I still have all my old contacts. Now you can’t ignore me. Five days is long enough, Beautiful. Meet me in the studio after the sun goes down. Don’t worry. I have a key.
Chapter 19
Eli
Oh, my God.”
My head whips up and I quickly push away from the wall when I hear Shelby’s quietly muttered words as she stops in the doorway of her studio.
My nerves have been shot to hell since I sent her a text message earlier and then spent the rest of the day in here. What if that wasn’t her cell phone number anymore? What if she didn’t show up? What if she hated it and hated me, thinking I was trying to force her back into the person she used to be?
Wiping my sweaty palms on the front of my jeans, I walk in her direction as she enters the room slowly, her eyes taking it in as mine take in her. Without any windows in this room, I couldn’t see what was going on outside, but I heard a few cracks of thunder while I’d been working. Staring at Shelby as she spins slowly in a circle in bare feet, I realize it must have been pouring outside and I feel bad that I made her go out in the storm. I want to apologize, but my tongue is stuck to the roof of my mouth as I look at her.
Her long, strawberry blond hair is wet and stuck to her cheeks, shoulders, and down her back. She’s wearing a teal-colored sleeveless dress that hugs her chest and falls to just above her knees, the wet material clinging to her thighs as she turns. With a small gold belt tied around her waist, thin gold straps over her shoulders matching a line of gold at the edge of the low scooped top of the dress, and the way the material lies on her body, she looks like a fucking Greek goddess. I think about all those days, months, and years I dreamed of her just to help me get through another night, and it takes me a minute to realize this isn’t a dream. She really is standing right here in front of me, close enough to touch.
“Did you do all this?” she asks softly when she finally finishes looking around.
“You’re stunning,” I blurt out, unable to think about anything else but how beautiful she is and how thankful I am to be alive and here with her right now.
She pulls the wet skirt of the dress away from her thighs and shakes it a little, then runs her fingers through her long, wet hair.
“I’m a mess. I didn’t realize how hard it was coming down until I got outside,” she tells me with a nervous laugh.
Moving slowly, I walk toward her and stop when I’m a few inches away. The rain has amplified the peach smell of her skin and surrounds me like a piece of heaven.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was that bad out there. Why didn’t you just drive over?”
The corners of her mouth tipped up in a small smile quickly fall and she drops her head, avoiding my eyes.
“I can’t…I don’t like to drive when it rains,” she whispers.
My heart drops right down into my stomach and I move, sliding my hands around her waist and pulling her against me.
“Shit. I’m such an asshole. I’m sorry, Shelby,” I mutter as I press my lips to the side of her head.
I close my eyes and sigh when her hands slide through my arms and wrap around me, her palms flattening against my back.
“It’s okay. I’m fine. Now, can you please answer my question. Did you do all of this?” she asks again.
I can hear the smile in her voice, and when she presses her cheek to my chest, I forget what the hell she just asked, what day it is, and my own name. She’s so warm and soft and I don’t know how in the hell I lived without having her right here where she belongs, holding me so tight.
She pulls her head away from my chest and looks up at me, the smile coming back to her face, letting me know the plan I came up with after talking to Paul was a good one and she doesn’t hate me.
“It’s not that big of a deal. I just cleaned it up a little,” I tell her with a shrug, tightening my arms around her.
“Eli, this place was a dirty mess. There was so much dust on the mirrors and the floor you could have built a sandcastle with all of it,” she replies.
I’m definitely downplaying how much work it took to get her studio back to looking like an actual studio and not like something out of a horror film. It took three bottles of Windex to get all the layers of dirt and film off the floor-to-ceiling mirrors that line the entire back wall. I wound up having to rent a commercial floor buffer and sander after I swept the wood dance floor and saw what condition it was in. After a few coats of wax, replacing all the lightbulbs in the ceiling, and setting up her table by the door with fresh towels and bottled water, it took a lot longer than I thought it would.
Seeing the smile on her face makes it all worth it.
“But wait, there’s more!” I tell her in my best infomercial voice as I let go of her with one arm, reaching into my back pocket.
Pulling out the small black remote, I aim it in the direction of the new sound system I set up in the corner of the room and hit Play. As soon as the first few notes of the pop song blast out into the room, it happens.
Shelby’s head tips back and she laughs. Her entire body shakes in my arms and I have the sudden urge to drop down to my knees and cry like a fucking baby when I hear the sound that haunted my dreams for six years.
“I don’t see what’s so funny. I’ve heard this is a really popular song,” I tell her, deciding to go with doing whatever I can to keep that smile on her face before I turn into a pussy right at her feet.
“It’s popular all right. It’s also very Biebery,” she tells me with another laugh.
“I seem to recall you liking this Bieber guy at one time.”
Her smile is so bright I shouldn’t have bothered replacing the lightbulbs. She could light up this entire room with that thing.
“And I seem to recall that he made your ears bleed.”
I shrug, sliding the remote back into my pocket and wrapping my arm back around her, slowly starting to rock us from side to side. “Eh, he’s kind of growing on me. And anyway, the lyrics aren’t half bad.”
She shakes her head at me and lets out another small laugh.
“Do I even want to ask how you know what the lyrics are, or that this is a popular song?” she asks, swaying with me to the music, not even realizing she’s doing it.
“One of the things my shrink suggested to me when I first got home and couldn’t sleep for more than a couple of minutes at a time was to do stupid, mindless shit like catch up on current events,” I explain. “Stuff like read about celebrity gossip, look up the Billboard charts for the last few years, and listen to the new songs and watch reality TV. Anything that didn’t require much brain power so I could settle my thoughts and just fucking relax.”
Her smile softens and she cocks her head as she looks up at me.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you that. You don’t have to talk about that stuff if you don’t want to.”
With our bodies still gently moving to the music, I slide one hand from around her waist and bring it up between us, smoothing off a few pieces of hair that are still stuck to her cheek and tucking the strands behind her ear.
“I’ll tell you anything you want to know, Shelby. All you have to do is ask. I’m okay talking about it. It’s easier with you,” I tell her with a reassuring smile, unable to stop myself from running the tips of my fingers down her cheek.
The chorus of the song picks up and the Biebs starts singing about being sorry, knowing he let his girl down and wondering if it’s too late to say he’s sorry. The kid might be a punk, but he says the words I want Shelby to hear and feel and know.
Moving my fingertips down until they slide off her jaw, I reach my arm behind me, grab one of her hands, and pull it around up by her shou
lder. Lacing my fingers through hers, I take the swaying one step further and start to move my feet, my hold on her body forcing her to move with me.
She licks her lips nervously and lets out a shaky breath.
“Eli, I can’t dance,” she mumbles so softly that I barely hear her over the music.
Leaning down without stopping the movement of our bodies, I press my lips to her ear and speak just above a whisper. “Close your eyes.”
I pull back just enough to watch her do as I said, her eyelids slowly lowering until her long, black lashes are resting against the skin of her upper cheekbones.
Kissing the tip of her nose, I slide my lips across her cheek and place another kiss right in the middle of it before pressing our cheeks together and speaking again.
“You just need to feel the music, Beautiful. Close your eyes and just feel the music.”
I push her a little further, my palm against her back sliding down and around to her hip. With my hand splayed against the side of her body, I start swaying and rocking my own hips to the beat of the music, pushing my palm against her just enough to guide her movements to match mine.
“I can’t do this. I’m scared,” she tells me quietly.
Her hips are moving perfectly with mine, all on their own, just as fluid and natural as always.
“Does your leg hurt?”
She pulls her cheek away from mine to look up at me, shaking her head no.
“It doesn’t hurt, it just feels…bruised. It always feels like this when it rains.”
The song ends and the silence in the room only lasts long enough for a loud crack of thunder to be heard from outside before the next song I put on the playlist starts right up. As fate would have it, the next song is called “Barefoot and Bruised.”
When I added the song to the playlist for tonight, I had no idea Shelby would show up here, so beautiful and perfect in her wet sundress and bare feet, with her leg feeling bruised. I added it because the words to this song were a thousand times better than the stupid Bieber one.
“If your leg starts to hurt, you tell me, okay? I’m right here beside you,” I remind her, echoing the words of the song.
She nods her head and takes a deep breath as we once again start swaying to the music in perfect sync.
“You saved me, Shelby,” I whisper, pressing my forehead against hers. “For five years, you saved me, and you didn’t even know it. Now it’s my turn to save you.”
I feel her breath against my face when she lets out a shaky sigh.
“Close your eyes, Shelby. Just close your eyes and feel the music.”
When her eyes close once again, I push my lips forward and press them against hers.
Chapter 20
Shelby
November 4, 2010
Shelby,
Do you know what I miss the most? What I think about more than anything else when I’m alone in my bunk at night, it’s pitch black, and all I can hear is the distant sound of gunfire and bombs exploding? That little sound you’d make when I kissed you. Even with all the noise going on around me, I can still hear that little gasp you’d make as soon as our lips touched. Even when it wasn’t a surprise and you watched me lean in, you still made that sound. Goddammit I miss that sound. I miss you. I love you, Shelby. Only you. Always you.
Remember that day we first kissed?
The muscles in my arms screamed in protest as I grabbed another bale of hay and chucked it into the next stall. After eight hours of Marine conditioning all day and Paul putting me on grunt work tonight as punishment when he found out I was a half hour late coming back from my dinner break two days ago, all I wanted to do was take a shower and fall face-first into bed.
Even with all the extra shit work I was given and how sore and exhausted I was, I couldn’t help but smile, knowing that extra half hour I’d gotten with you and the reason for my lateness was worth it. I’d chipped away a little bit of your attitude, got to hold you close and dance with you, and even made you laugh.
It was definitely worth feeding all the horses without any help.
Bending over, I grabbed a bale and paused before lifting it when I heard a strangled sigh come from behind me. I quickly looked over my shoulder and found you staring right at my ass.
“Enjoying the view, Legs?” I asked with a smirk.
You rolled your eyes and pushed off of the wooden post you’d been leaning against, crossing your arms in front of you.
“Why are you so annoying?” you asked.
Lifting the hay bale, I threw it into the stall and tossed the hooks to the ground.
“Why are you so beautiful?” I countered, pulling my work gloves off and shoving them in the back pocket of my jeans as I stalked over to you.
You took a quick step back as I advanced, but forgot all about the post behind you and smacked right into it, halting your attempt to get away from me.
I kept moving until we were toe-to-toe. Leaning into your body, I brought one hand up and rested it on the post above your head.
“You really need to stop looking at me like that,” I told you quietly, staring down at your face.
You nervously licked your lips and my eyes darted to your mouth. I knew from experience you had the softest lips I’d ever tasted and it was getting harder and harder not to kiss you, but I knew you needed to warm up to this thing happening between us before I went there. As much as it killed me.
“Looking at you like what?” you whispered, your voice coming out small and shaky, so unlike the fire that blazes from it when you usually speak to me.
And so fucking hot.
I chuckled under my breath, giving you a sweet smile instead of a cocky one so you knew without a doubt I wasn’t making fun of you.
“Looking at me like you want me inside you…you’re killing me, Legs,” I admitted, looking back up into your eyes.
Your mouth dropped open and I could tell you were struggling not to roll your eyes and give me attitude.
“I’m not going to kiss you again,” you muttered, lifting your chin indignantly. “I tried that once and you were a jerk.”
Bringing my hand that dangled down by my thigh up between us, I brushed my thumb gently across your bottom lip, suddenly realizing what the deal was with all the attitude you had been giving me. I hurt you when you left for college, and you weren’t about to let it go that easily without making me work for it.
“Maybe I wanna kiss you this time.”
My thumb continued to stroke your full bottom lip and your mouth parted with a sharp intake of breath, your chest rising and falling much more rapidly now. I honestly didn’t have a clue how I managed to continue standing here up against you so casually when all I wanted to do was lift you up so your long legs could wrap around my waist and shove myself between them.
“I was an idiot four years ago. I said a lot of stupid shit I didn’t mean. That kiss…Jesus Christ, Legs. I haven’t been able to get that kiss out of my fucking head for four years. I haven’t been able to get you out of my head for four years,” I muttered, giving you as much honesty as I could so you’d start to trust me. “Wondering if your lips are still as soft, wondering if you’d taste the same, wondering if you’d gasp into my mouth again and make me hard as a rock with just that one little sound.”
Your cheeks flushed and you swallowed nervously a few times, lighting a fire inside of me that I knew would never go out.
“I know you’re not going to kiss me again, and I deserve that after the shit I said to you. But just so you know, I’m going to fight for you, Legs. I’m not giving up and I’m not going anywhere.”
With one last swipe of my thumb across your bottom lip, I couldn’t hold back any longer and I said “to hell” with warming you up to the idea of the two of us together. I dipped my head down and tasted those soft, gorgeous lips. You gasped right when my mouth touched yours and it sounded just as good as it did four years ago.
Every kiss I’ve ever given you is burned into my brain, Shelby, bu
t that first one…that one is my favorite.
—Eli
His kiss consumed me the moment his lips touched mine. I was already so twisted with emotion from the words he’d said to me and how easily he got me to dance without even realizing it, that I wouldn’t have known how to push myself away from him right now even if I wanted to.
My mouth parts for him immediately, wanting nothing more than to taste him again and let him heal every part of me that’s been broken. As soon as our tongues touch, he bends his knees and tightens his hold around my waist, lifting me up against him. My legs immediately wrap around his waist and my hands fist into his hair as he turns and walks us out of the room.
I don’t know where he’s taking me and I don’t care. I’ll go anywhere with him as long as he keeps kissing me like he can’t get enough of me.
His boots pound against the floor as he picks up the pace, with his legs and with his mouth. His tongue pushes deeper and the kiss grows harder and more frantic when I hear the snorts and whinnies of horses before they’re quickly muffled by the slamming of a door.
The flash of lightning illuminates the room when my eyes open as he pulls his mouth away from mine, his breath coming out fast and heavy.
“I wanted to take you to my new place. Buy you some flowers and cook you dinner, but it’s twenty minutes away and I’ve waited six years for this,” he tells me, his eyes staring deep into mine as more lightning strikes and brightens up the tack room he brought us into.
“I don’t need dinner and flowers, I just need you,” I whisper as he turns us and leans down, pressing me into the cot in the corner of the room and covering his body over mine.
He settles between my legs, resting on one elbow to hold himself above me, his hand running down my side and over the material of my dress. His warm palm presses against my scarred thigh, slowly sliding back up and under my skirt. I’ve never been touched like this since the accident, so surely and without hesitation that the emotions overwhelm me and I can’t stop my eyes from welling with tears. I quickly blink them away before Eli can see them and think something is wrong. Nothing could be more right with this moment.