"My lord? You are well?"
"I am."
"I will enter to see for myself."
Before Uthe could tell him no, Keldwyn slipped in, quickly closing the door behind him so that he felt only a brief flash of heat, the result of the sun engulfing the plane as it winged through the clouds. It put both of them in darkness, except for the small flashlight Uthe had on the side table, pointed toward the wall so the thin beam was dimmed further.
Keldwyn's hand fell on his shoulder. "You are at prayer."
"I was. I am done."
Keldwyn sat down on the cot next to where Uthe knelt on the floor. "Gods, it's horrid in here. Like a cold shoebox."
The air piped into these compartments at double strength counteracted the sun's effect. It was mildly helpful. "A shoebox surrounded by flame."
Keldwyn moved his hand along Uthe's shoulder, discovering he was stripped down to nothing, his skin dewed with perspiration. Though normally Uthe would remain dressed while sleeping, this was an exception, since he had no desire to soil his clothes with excessive sweat. "Your skin is hot as fire," the Fae Lord said. "You need the Queen's touch. She can turn almost anything to ice." Keldwyn nodded toward the flashlight. "That takes the place of your candles?"
"It does. Somewhat."
"But it adds heat."
"Yes. But it is fine. I will lie down now, my lord. You need not trouble yourself further."
"You're no trouble." Keldwyn paused. "The Rule required that a candle always be lit while sleeping, to stave off the temptations that come in the darkness?"
Uthe remembered the earlier fever dream with the bad blood, when the demon had taunted him about that. There was no taunt in Keldwyn's voice, just thoughtful observation.
"Yes. But over time, it becomes a useful focus. A reassurance that the Light of the Lord is with us, even in darkness."
Keldwyn reached over and switched off the light. "You are assured of that more than any male I've met, Lord Uthe." An irritable edge entered his tone. "There are times your faith gives me hives."
"If it was a blind faith, untested, I would understand that, because nothing is more grating than courage in a sunlit meadow. But it is not. Have you never believed in anything immutable, Kel? Never wanted to?'
"I have wanted to. And the depth and breadth of that want is why I have no faith now."
The sudden roughness of his voice kept Uthe silent a moment, but then he closed a hand over the Fae Lord's knee. "Kel. I do not believe that of you."
"There are other things that come out of the dark," Keldwyn said. "Truths too painful to speak in the light. The inexplicable, horrible things of this world make the existence of anything beyond it an illusion. A child's wish."
"The inexplicable, wonderful things in this world make the existence of what lies beyond it a certainty. A comfort for the child's soul in us all." Uthe paused. "I had a fellow Templar who used to say it like a child's nursery rhyme: 'There is so much that doesn't make sense if there is nothing there; there is so much that doesn't make sense if there is.'"
Uthe could see even in full darkness. One short slide forward, and he stood on his knees between Keldwyn's spread legs where the Fae Lord sat on the cot. He framed Kel's face with his hands. When Kel's dropped to Uthe's hips, he muttered something against Uthe's mouth, likely a dubious reverence in the Fae language.
Earlier, the Fae Lord had initiated sex to pursue passion, to help Uthe find his answers, and to steady him after the near miss with the poisoned blood. Though Uthe had wrestled with indulging his desire under those circumstances, when it was Keldwyn who needed such succor, he didn't hesitate to serve Kel's needs.
Uthe kissed him, fingers sliding into his hair, pulling the bindings loose. He liked when the Fae braided or bound his hair, so he could be the one to free it, let it spill over his fingers. Keldwyn's palms slid around to grip his ass, drawing him closer. Uthe shuddered with it, the feel of his body, all muscles rigid, pressed against the Fae's clothed form. Keldwyn moved his touch up and down Uthe's back, over his shoulders, coming back to his ass to knead as Uthe deepened the kiss.
"I don't want to be him," Uthe said in a fierce, low voice.
"I do not want you to be him. I want you to be what you are. Perfect. Mine."
He was stunned by the depth of emotion in Keldwyn's voice. Perhaps he was right about turning out that light. It wasn't the temptations of lust that posed such dangers in the black, but the needs of the heart.
"I want inside you, too," Uthe said. "I want to fall asleep that way." He wanted to hold the male close to him, all that power and lean beauty. He wanted to hold something when he slept, something that would cover his heart, press against its painful beating, tell it that someone was there. That neither of them had to be alone, at least for these few moments.
Would Kel agree to it? He could feel him thinking, so Uthe kept up his exploring, tracing the biceps through the cotton fabric of his shirt. Kel had cleaned up and changed so Uthe tasted the soap-scented heat of him as he pulled the neckline open to lick the hollow of his throat, scrape a fang over his pectoral. He wrapped his hand in Keldwyn's hair, tipped his head back and pressed him against the wall behind the bed as he clambered up onto it, bracing his knees on either side of the Fae's hips and grinding his cock against his abdomen. Keldwyn took a bruising grip on his ass as Uthe sucked on his throat. He didn't bite him, much as he wanted to. Feeling Keldwyn's trust that he wouldn't do that without his express permission had a crazy effect on his cock and everything above and below it.
Uthe ripped the shirt away from the Fae's upper body, not caring if Kel had brought a spare or not. He'd give him one of his. He moved down again, back to the floor so he could tease a nipple with his tongue. The Fae cupped the back of his head, tipping his own to the wall once more, arching into Uthe's seductions. Uthe gripped both his thighs and ran his hands along them, pressing his thumbs in the crease along either side of Keldwyn's groin. His cock was an iron bar, his testicles a perfect, heavy weight in Uthe's palm as he fondled, squeezed. At the same time, he tasted, nipped and flicked his tongue against the male's sensitive nipples.
Blessed Virgin, to take full pleasure in a male's body, and a male like this, with no reservations... Uthe wondered if he might be drunk on the pleasure of it, for he acknowledged no restraint on his behavior, except what Keldwyn himself imposed.
"You want to be inside me," Keldwyn growled, as if reading his mind. "But everything you're doing will get you fucked through this mattress, Varick. So I get my pleasure first."
Good. He wanted to challenge him, bring all that to the forefront to overpower and overwhelm. And not just because the idea of it speared Uthe with lust. He'd felt the Fae Lord's pain and bitterness when he spoke to the darkness, and he wanted to give him this to bring him back to the light.
My surrender will give you back your faith. I want it to do that.
He spoke in his mind as if Keldwyn could hear him, as if they shared a vampire-servant bond, for Reghan had spoken the truth to Keldwyn. There was no closer relationship in the vampire world, and Uthe found himself wishing for the impossible.
In one effortless move, Keldwyn flipped him over onto the bed. Uthe smelled the fragrant oil he'd shown Keldwyn earlier, felt the slippery heat of it injected in his ass only a blink before Keldwyn's cock shoved so deep into him he curled his hands around the frame of the cot to hold on. Keldwyn wasn't making an idle threat. He pounded into Uthe as if he would put him through the wall, and spoke Fae words that Uthe didn't understand. The savage passion of them had his own cock throbbing.
"Don't you dare come," Kel hissed against his ear, fingers wrapping around Uthe's dick and squeezing. "Not unless you want to lose your chance to be inside me."
He would hold out against any torment for that. Uthe gritted his teeth as the Fae realized his resolve and tortured him with it, working his cock in tune with his own thrusts. "Bastard," he choked out, and Kel let out a nasty chuckle against his ear.
He
released him to grip Uthe's throat, jerking his face up for another kiss. Uthe felt overpowered in a way he hadn't ever experienced. By the Cross, the male could fuck. Uthe had watched a thousand vampire dinners where indescribable sexual games were played with servants, pushing them to torturous and tumultuous levels of desire before they were finally permitted to release. Kel needed no trappings, no elaborate games. He was covering Uthe, holding him, directing him, and Uthe was yearning for more, a complete takeover of mind and heart. He also wanted to challenge Kel, bring sword edge to sword edge, so when Uthe fell to his knees, it would be under the blow of a stronger opponent.
It was all a jumbled, disoriented reaction, but not the tricks of his mind he'd come to fear. Pure lust constricted him like rope, impossible to mistake for anything else. This kind of need could never be an illusion. It was stark, painful, blissful reality.
Keldwyn climaxed with a harsh series of grunts, the cot squeaking and in danger of giving way. He had one foot on the floor to give him more leverage for deeper penetration, and Uthe felt every flex of that taut thigh against his buttock. His ass was burning, might be bleeding, and he didn't really care. His cock was stiff against his belly, wanting only one thing. One destination.
Keldwyn slid slowly from him, making Uthe groan. "There you are, vampire." When Keldwyn grasped his cock again in a firm hand, Uthe bucked against his grip. "You have held nothing back from me. Almost. I grant your request to be inside me--if you call me Master."
Uthe stiffened. No matter the direction of his thoughts, validating it with that one significant word was a far-too-precarious road. "I only have one Master, my lord."
"I believe that is my point, Lord Uthe." Keldwyn's tone sent a ripple of heat through him, purring, seductive and implacable. His fingers slipped away and he rose. A rustling of clothing suggested he'd completely stripped off the leggings he'd unlaced to fuck Uthe. In his current state of pounding, throbbing need, just the idea he was standing naked so close to Uthe was enough to send him over. Kel squatted next to the cot, his touch on Uthe's brow, sliding along his jaw. "On your back, vampire. I would make sure you are well-oiled."
Another torment. As Uthe complied, Keldwyn applied lubricant to Uthe's cock with knowledgeable fingers. All the way to the root and back, around the balls. They didn't need the oil, but that slippery, heated, squeezing feeling made his cock convulse further. His breath clogged in his throat as he stared up at Keldwyn's silhouette, the hint of glittering eyes.
"If you come now, you will get nothing, won't you?" Keldwyn mused. "You must bear this as long as I wish. Or until you call me Master and ask me to cease so you can be inside me."
"You think blackmail will work? It won't...mean anything. It's a moment, that's all."
"Yes, rationalize it that way if you need to do so. We will both know better, will we not?"
"Islam...means to submit." Uthe gritted his teeth. "Trusting that something outside yourself will be--"
"--there when you most need it." Keldwyn rubbed a thumb under the corona, and Uthe let out another guttural sound as Keldwyn dropped to his knees by the cot and put his lips over Uthe's slit, clever tongue teasing, lips sucking pre-come from it.
"There are songs...Sufi poetry...that refer to that something outside yourself." Uthe grasped at the words with desperation, trying to hold onto some semblance of sanity. "Yaar...beloved. It can mean God. But also...friend...confidante... Everything you need and want. One to whom you desire to give your devotion and obedience... Ah, holy God...forgive me..."
"It is the same meaning then, is it not? Master and Yaar." Keldwyn bent over him, his breath on Uthe's face, hair falling along his brow and cheek. "Come inside me now, Lord Uthe. I will not force an answer to the question. I believe it's already there, and it will be all the sweeter to see you arrive there on your own. Move over."
Uthe put his back against the wall and Keldwyn gracefully settled before him. The cot was narrow, but when two were going to be pressed together as one, it worked well enough, especially when both of them had preternatural grace and balance. Uthe closed his eyes, no matter the darkness, wanting to fully savor the male's back against his chest, the muscular ass his thighs lifted up to cradle. Keldwyn didn't seem to mind that Uthe was slick with sweat from the effects of daylight. He'd pulled his hair over his shoulder so when Uthe wrapped an arm over his biceps and chest, he could put his mouth against Keldwyn's exposed nape.
Uthe remembered his fantasy of seeing Keldwyn on all fours, looking back at him over the incomparable view of a narrow, tight ass. He dropped his hand to slide a palm over Keldwyn's flank now, the upper thigh. He wanted to take his time, but he couldn't. Keldwyn had made sure need was raging through him like the sun's fire. Uthe gripped the male's buttock, using the hold to position himself at the tight opening. As he began to press inward, the slickness of the oil drew him forward. His control snapped.
Uthe pushed into the tight ring of muscles, moaning in agonized ecstasy as Keldwyn gripped him like a glove. He began to thrust immediately, the oil sinking in, wrapping itself around cock, balls and everything attached to them. The pleasure of it spiraled like a wild tornado. He'd have said the oil had some kind of aphrodisiac in it, but he'd had it in his ass, and it was no more than a good lubricant. It was him. He hadn't taken a male in so long, denying himself because he knew it was like a drug, the desire to bury himself inside, to hold that connection. With someone who mattered, who was already inside him in another kind of way... Insane pleasure surged through him at Keldwyn's grunt, registering the effort of taking him. He hadn't thought of such vanity in some time, but he was glad he was sufficiently endowed to impress a lover, to cause some pleasurable discomfort.
Kel reached back and put a hand over Uthe's hip, pressing him even deeper. Uthe was bucking and rocking against him, thrusting like he would die if he couldn't keep fucking him forever. The climax boiled in his balls, getting more intense by the second.
"Go now, Varick," Keldwyn demanded. "Let me hear you."
He strangled on his cries, they were that powerful, ripping from his throat and chest. Keldwyn had his other hand curled around the frame of the cot and Uthe found a way to snake his hand up under him and cover it, hold onto his fingers and the iron frame at once, the whole thing creaking at the force of their movements. But he wouldn't leave the Fae Lord without his own pleasure. As he was starting to finish, he lowered his other hand, gripped Keldwyn's cock. Keldwyn dropped his head back and fuck, his throat was right there, pulsing. Uthe's fangs brushed it. He tried to draw back, but Keldwyn spoke in a rasp.
"Can you bite me without drinking? Is your control that good?"
In answer, Uthe sank his fangs into his shoulder. Blood spurted from beneath his hold. It took an effort beyond description not to pull the blood into his mouth, to let it run wasted down Keldwyn's chest. But Keldwyn started to come, then. With stunned pleasure, Uthe realized it was his bite that had pushed him over the edge.
Even in climax, Keldwyn's movements had the primal grace of a sinuous, silk-skinned creature of myth. As he finished, Uthe slipped an arm fully around his chest and the other around his waist. Slowly, he retracted his fangs, wondering at the shudder that went through Kel's body at the retreat. "I'm not drinking, just making sure the punctures close up," he said, using the coagulants in his tongue to do just that.
Uthe wanted to push him to his back, lap the blood off his chest, but he didn't. It was as he'd thought. Keldwyn had fed him in the cave out of necessity, and had handled it respectfully, but that one time didn't eradicate his cultural revulsion to it. Even though the thought sacrificed some of Uthe's pleasure with the painful twist it caused inside him, Uthe wouldn't let it ruin the moment. Denying himself the taste of Keldwyn's blood was a trade-off for the other pleasures the Fae had just granted him.
He pressed his face into the back of the Fae Lord's neck. Keldwyn put his hand up over his forearm. They were silent, Keldwyn breathing, Uthe's heart thudding. In this contented position, the add
itional exertion and the sun's progress started to have their effect. All vampires, even the older ones like himself, experienced daylight lethargy, though normally he could stay up at least until noon. But they were far above the ground here. "I may drop off on you," Uthe said, hearing the telltale slur in his voice. "Apologies, my lord."
"No apologies necessary. You have more than earned the rest." Keldwyn's voice was neutral, which usually meant he was examining variables. He wouldn't reveal his thoughts until he had a firm grasp of the information he was sorting. Uthe respected and understood that, though he did wonder what the Fae was thinking about. Was he considering the condition he'd imposed on Uthe, what it was becoming? Did it matter? He was a vampire and Kel was a Fae Lord. In the end, this could be no more than what it had started out to be, a temporary alliance.
The strength of the feelings Uthe was having demonstrated how out of practice he was in a relationship like this. He wasn't going to make a fool of himself and cause embarrassment for either of them. They were both far too old for such misconceptions.
Why was he even debating it? One way or another, Uthe would not survive much beyond the quest, if at all. Either his mind or his body would be gone, or both. For a short time, he'd forgotten that, hadn't he? No, he hadn't, because he hadn't let go of the male. He had both arms wrapped around him, holding him so close. He'd never held someone like this. Someone he didn't want to relinquish.
"Uthe." Keldwyn gripped his forearm. The Fae paused as if he were going to say something significant, but in the end he went with the practical. "I assume you do not wish to go back to Council headquarters, but to the Fae portal, once we land outside Savannah?"
"Right," Uthe said drowsily. "I've already said my goodbyes there." There was no sense in going back, in feeling that pain again.
There would be plenty enough of that going forward.
* * *
Uthe slept deeply, but when he woke at twilight and found he was alone, a weight settled on his shoulders. He made himself sit up and used the adjacent water closet to wash up, get dressed. Turning on the overhead light, he studied the cot. There was blood on the sheets, and Keldwyn's ejaculate was an additional splatter across the floor. He used paper towels to wipe that off the tile. The staff of the jet were second marked, used to cleaning up after vampires, but for reasons he couldn't explain, he didn't want them handling the remains of Keldwyn's release. He passed his fingers over the bloodstains. Lifting his head, he saw a folded pile of clothing on the small chair in the corner. Keldwyn had left a note on top of it.