"My episodes of Ennui, the forgetfulness... I think at times they are triggered by my fear of it happening at the wrong time, wrong moment. I do not fear that when you are by my side."
"Well then, that is where I shall stay. For I would not want your reputation of astounding courage to be tarnished."
"It could be awhile. I am immortal."
Keldwyn scoffed, though his eyes remained steady and focused on Uthe. "A vampire's immortality is but a child's life span next to a Fae's. Spending that time with you will be like taking a vacation, give or take a century. But I will make a demand of you."
"Only one? It must be a slow day for you."
"You goad my temper only because you think yourself spent," Keldwyn said mildly. "Else you would not risk it."
"You assume I've ever been intimidated by Fae arrogance," Uthe informed him. "Power is in the hands of the Lord. You may decimate me, my lord, but I was ever only dust."
"Not to me." Keldwyn closed his hand over Uthe's, and the strength of his grip brought Uthe's eyes back to him. "Though if you know anything of me, you know how highly I prize the earth. But I would ask that you attend to my words seriously, as they are meant."
"Of course." Uthe sobered. "I did not mean to hurt you, Kel."
"You have the ability to do that, vampire," Keldwyn said after a weighted moment. "My soul is in your hands, and I demand you not take it anywhere I cannot be with you. Varick... I want you to give me your third mark. Bind us permanently, in the way of your kind."
Uthe stared at him. "The Ennui is affecting my brain, my lord. I thought you just asked to be third-marked."
"Your mind is sharp as necessary, and you heard me correctly."
"Ennui is degenerative. If it accelerates to violent mood swings, savage acts of sadism and total apathy to a moral code, I was relying on you to take my life, if I did not have the clarity to do it myself."
Kel's expression darkened, but he inclined his head. "You may still rely on me for that."
"Kel, with the third mark, if I die, you die. That's the way it works. I'm not sure even a powerful Fae would be exempt from the pull of that bond."
"I'm fifteen hundred years old, Lord Uthe. Do you think I have not lived long enough?"
"Perhaps I don't want to be stuck with you for all eternity," Uthe retorted, "especially if it's true that the mark is not severable, even after death." But his hand constricted on the Fae's. "You could never live long enough, my lord."
Kel's eyes gleamed. "Perhaps it is no request, but a demand I make of you. Though it may not be a problem, regardless. You drank from the Grail and the power of it gave you back to me. Perhaps the Ennui was eliminated with it, or its acceleration arrested for a time."
All attempt at humor disappeared. "You had me drink from the Grail?" Uthe tried to struggle up, but found he was still terribly weak. Even the ribbons impeded him. He shoved Kel's hands away from him, though, managing to sit up on his own. "What if it only has a limited amount of magic to give? Not for me, but to God goes all the glory. I would not have taken from it. You know that."
"No, you wouldn't have. But I would. I put my blood in the Grail." Keldwyn leaned forward. "I did not care if you were already bathed in the light of Heaven, lolling in eternal bliss with a hundred handsome male virgins. I was not giving you up without a fight, without trying every means at my disposal. I had to let Reghan go because his heart was not mine. Yours is. I will not share it with anyone or release it before I am damned ready, even to your God. You are bound to me, and that is how it will stay, unless you convince me that you do not care to be mine."
Pissed off, Keldwyn was impressive and intimidating. And beautiful. Uthe was overwhelmed by him, by the rage and determination he felt emanating from the Fae Lord. He was the epitome of every temptation the Templars had been exhorted to avoid, reject or deny themselves, but that wasn't what held Uthe spellbound. He truly was handing Uthe his soul.
"So you love me then," Uthe said slowly.
Keldwyn had risen to his feet. His brow creased, his eyes narrowing. Then he crossed his arms, shifting to one hip, which merely drew Uthe's eyes to the way the tight leggings outlined his buttock and cradled his sex. Blessed Christ, the male was a feast for an insatiable vampire appetite. Any type of celibacy, emotional or otherwise, would be impossible around him. "As discomfiting as it may be for both of us, it seems it is so," the Fae Lord said darkly.
Uthe lifted a hand. "Please let me stand on my feet before you, my lord."
"You are still weak. I will come to you." Keldwyn knelt in front of Uthe so they faced one another. "You did not answer me. Do you not care to belong to me?"
"You know the answer to that." Uthe reached out and threaded his fingers through the male's hair. "I called you Master," he said, low. "And I meant it. But I will not join you to my fate, my lord. Over time, as the Ennui takes more and more of the mind, there is evidence it begins to affect a servant. Not only would it be unconscionable of me to give you the third mark knowing that, it would be a hazard to both our worlds. We are powerful members of our respective species. You could kill me to stop any unforgivable transgressions. In the vampire world, I do not know who could stop you and your magic."
"Life and love have a great deal to do with risks," Keldwyn said. "You are an intelligent male, my lord. I believe when you take my blood, your mind is sharper than it is when you take a human servant's blood. When you fed from Alanna, she sustained your energy but not your mind. I think the magical properties of my blood might reduce or delay the impact of the Ennui upon you."
Uthe considered it, hope kindling a small light inside him. Keldwyn didn't make wild or unfounded hypotheses. "The theory in your world is that Ennui is an affliction of time, the torpor that can descend upon a soul at the endless cycles of life," the Fae Lord continued. "What if it is also chemical, certain vampires more disposed to it than others? Look at Lady Lyssa. She has had no effects from it, but Rex, who was younger than her, was heavily afflicted. From the stories I've heard, he was well in the grip of those sadistic urges of madness within a short time of being affected. You have been dealing with it far longer."
"You have no proof of any of this. Just some random observations. Lord Brian would say that is not enough."
"I can give Queen Rhoswen the ability to end my life. As Unseelie Queen, as long as she has my oath of fealty, I am bound to allow her to strip me of my powers whenever she deems it suitable. She threatens it often enough."
"But you have to allow it. What if you are so far gone that you will not allow it?"
"There are bindings I can let her place on me now, or at the first hints of these things, to ensure she can force it to happen if need be." Keldwyn set his jaw. "I am already cut off from the Fae world, Uthe, as long as I am marked by a vampire. I will not be serving as the Fae court liaison for the immediate future. I am officially removed as the Vampire Council liaison, though I expect Lyssa will still want my guidance for Fae matters."
Uthe grimaced. "You told Queen Rhoswen."
"There have been many things happening since you have been taking a nap."
Uthe curled his fingers around Keldwyn's wrist, never mind that his grip was as much to keep him from falling over, even in his seated position, as it was to make his point. "You may command some things of me, my lord, but this will be my decision. I will not make it until I am sure I can protect you from both my deteriorating mind and the repercussions of your Queen. She is lovely and powerful, but she is not kind."
"Neither am I." Kel shrugged. He put his hand on Uthe's shoulder to steady him. "We are Fae, after all. You're vampires. You should understand the scintillating appeal of sadism."
"I will not see you suffer on my account," Uthe said firmly. "And I won't make this decision in this weakened state, bound in your ribbons."
"Very well." Keldwyn toppled them with one graceful move, so they were stretched out on the grass together. Sliding an arm under Uthe's shoulders, he turned him toward him, tiltin
g his head back so the artery in his throat pulsed close to Uthe's lips. "Strengthen yourself, my lord, and then notice how much clearer your mind becomes. Regain your strength so you can see things my way."
Uthe chuckled at that, exasperated, but as Kel's arms circled him, palms heated against his back, he inhaled the scent of him. He remembered the last scent he'd had of Keldwyn in the Shattered World. Dust, sweat and blood. Now it was sunshine and warm earth.
In this position, he discovered the patch of grass on which they were lying was just inside the entrance to a cave. The ceiling of the cave was covered with color, crystals and pieces of stained glass, pressed in different patterns into the arched ceiling. Red, blue, purple, green, yellow... The rush of a waterfall had him tipping his head back further, his hand going to Keldwyn's hair as the Fae Lord's mouth slid along his own bared throat. There was a waterfall in the cave, a deep pool. "So why are we still here? You said you were banished..."
"It's like your TV westerns. The sheriff, my Queen, gave us one full day to depart once you woke."
Uthe studied the cave ceiling. "Evan would donate a limb to see this. How was it created?"
"When the Fae moved more freely in your world, there were a group of them attracted to stained glass. Many Fae are like birds. We like shiny things." Keldwyn smiled against his throat, and Uthe's body yearned toward him as Kel scraped him with his teeth. The Fae Lord dropped his touch to grip Uthe's buttock and bring him closer. "As wars and violence destroyed your churches, they would collect pieces of it and bring them here. I suspect there are bits from the Holy Land and Templar churches, places you've visited. Which is why I thought you might enjoy it. There are also crystals, collected from secret, magical places in the earth that human development was getting too close to disrupting. So this is a holy place in many ways, a place of memory and preservation. Of what beauty undisturbed can be."
Keldwyn cupped the back of his head, bringing Uthe's gaze back to him. "I would like to see your hair long, Varick. Will your Rule allow you to grow it out for me?"
"No. But I think it is all right now to put my mantle aside and please my earthly Master, embrace the gift the Lord has given me. As long as..."
"As long as it doesn't conflict with God's will."
Uthe thought of what Jean-Claude had said. "As long as the spirit of being a Templar is always honored and served."
He'd accomplished his mission. He'd served the will of God. Now he could serve the will of his Master with a clear conscience. Uthe let Keldwyn see it in his face, his touch, and was rewarded by what he saw in return.
"I do not foresee you having any trouble with that, my lord," Kel said. "You are one of the most honorable and devout males I've ever met. Tediously so. I think I've mentioned that several times."
"You said my faith gave you hives."
"I've learned to adapt." As they'd been speaking, Kel was plucking the ribbons from him, as if Uthe was a package he was unwrapping. Tossing them aside, Kel stroked Uthe's nape and then turned his attention toward the stained glass, exposing his own throat once more. "Sink your fangs into me, vampire. I want to feed you, because once you regain your strength, I am going to fuck you into oblivion in this magical, holy place."
A matter-of-fact statement laced with an implacable demand, sending a surge of reaction through Uthe. When Keldwyn swept another unsmiling glance over him, a trace of impatience in his gaze, Uthe was fairly sure if he didn't feed, Kel would still fuck him senseless. He was giving him a few moments of courtesy, but he wasn't going to wait.
"Is that why I'm naked?"
"I washed you, in the pool. You had wounds that took longer to heal, even with my blood. Particularly this one." He put his hand over Uthe's heart, drawing his gaze to the place the dagger and Spear had both pierced. "I kept you naked because your body was warm to the touch. I also kept you that way for my own pleasure, so I could touch you as I desired, see your reactions to my caresses."
Uthe had been caught in the languor of near death, but now his Master was calling him back to life, offering him the sustenance he needed before he took what he wanted from him. His gut and heart leaped in anticipation of it like a dog on his Master's leash.
Keldwyn's gaze intensified at that imagery, his fingers sliding around Uthe's throat. "I really must learn to stay in your head as often as possible," he murmured. "But as intriguing as that is, I don't need such bindings between us, do I? I will not tell you again. Feed."
Uthe pushed up onto an elbow. The male's arm tightened around his back, his hand once again taking a firm grip on Uthe's ass. It steadied and unbalanced him at once. Uthe slid his mouth over the pulsing artery, the autumn scent of Kel's flesh, and bit. Deep, no holding back. He growled in response as Kel pressed him harder against the Fae's long, strong body, wearing too many clothes.
God in Heaven, his blood was sweet, vital. Uthe was gulping like a fledgling, as if he'd been starved for days. Fortunately long habit had him easing up when needed. But as he fed, his hands had been sweeping over Kel, fingers curling in his shirt, his thighs pressing against the Fae's. When he decided to drop his hands to grip Kel's fine, narrow ass, the Fae rolled them so he was on top of Uthe. Uthe retracted his fangs and Keldwyn dipped his head to take over his mouth with a demanding kiss while he reached down to capture his cock and work it in his strong grasp. Uthe pressed into his touch, and Kel tore his mouth away, proceeding to devour Uthe one inch of flesh at a time.
Uthe writhed against the pleasure of it, shocked by the sudden ferocity of the Fae's demands. Kel bit his nipple hard enough to have him arching and jerking, and then moved down to replace the grip of his hand with the heated cavern of his mouth. Kel's hands slid under him, opening his thighs, cradling his buttocks. He paused long enough to put two of his fingers in his own mouth, making them slick enough to ease them into Uthe's backside and play. He bucked even more, groaning with pleasure. Kel's blood was tingling through every limb, through his torso and rushing into head and cock, pushing his mind past thought and into sheer pleasure.
Despite Uthe's best attempts to hold him, Keldwyn drew back and turned Uthe over. He continued his sensual attack, setting his teeth to Uthe's throat and shoulder as he pushed his cock against Uthe's ass, a promise and a threat. His knee pressed against his testicles, a mute command to bring him up on his knees, but Kel kept his hand on his nape as he rose above him.
"Stay on your elbows, Varick. I like you in this position."
Uthe groaned again as Kel parted his cheeks, putting his mouth there to lube Uthe up with his own saliva, preparing him for being taken. When he heard Kel shifting to take off his shirt and unlace his leggings, he shuddered. He was fucking trembling. The significance of all of it was crashing down on him. Kel had allowed a vampire to feed from him, and would continue to do so for the foreseeable future, at least until the dubious wisdom of it hit him and he wisely changed his mind about that. Uthe was his, but both of them would be completely outside the bounds and rules of their respective worlds.
They'd just survived the Shattered World and sent a demon back to Hell. Really, how scary could any of the rest of it be?
Kel dropped down over him, chest pressing into his back. His chest hair teased Uthe's skin. "I can be quite scary, Lord Uthe," he said pleasantly. "You haven't seen even a shadow of what I can be. Keep thinking that I'll back away from what I feel for you because of the differences in our species, and you will see that side of me sooner rather than later."
He guided himself into Uthe's backside and, as the muscles released, he shoved in, wresting a grunt of pleasure and discomfort from Uthe. He held there, deep and tight, and wound an arm over Uthe's chest, an iron bar that made it clear just how strong he was.
Now listen and listen well. I will speak it in your mind so you can brand it on your heart and soul. I am fifteen fucking hundred years old. I have been in love, I've had my heart broken. I've lost children. I know what I am and what I want. I want your third mark. I want you, Lord Uthe, as long as the
powers greater than both our worlds permit it. Yet should they or anyone else ever try to take you away from me, either in mind or body, they will see just how truly powerful and capable of destruction I am.
"Do you understand?"
He punctuated that with a thrust that was intended to hurt, and a curse escaped Uthe's lips. "Understood, my lord. No offense intended."
"Oh, I want you to offend me, Varick. Believe me, I relish the opportunities that your offenses will provide the both of us." He eased up then, though, dropping a kiss on Uthe's nape. He still had on his leggings and boots, and Uthe wished he was equally naked, so he could feel every inch of his flesh against his own. Keldwyn withdrew from him, touched his back.
"Then come attend to that."
Uthe straightened. His ass was smarting, his cock was throbbing, but he was far steadier now with the Fae's blood in him. Kel's own organ sat up thick and mouthwatering between his thighs, the leggings open and framing the thickness of it. Uthe was still trembling. He couldn't get over that, but he'd never seen Kel quite like this, so unleashed and demanding, his eyes burning. Magic sparked off his skin, making it obvious how easily he could overwhelm and overpower Uthe. Uthe's response, rather than wariness or a need to counter such strength with whatever wits he could summon, was to surrender to it, revel in it. Enjoy it fully for once. To trust another with all that he was.
Perhaps it was the Ennui that made him that foolish. Maybe he was just tired of always having to be on his guard. Or perhaps it was something else.
He was in love.
He'd always viewed that idea with a certain detachment, his intellectual grasp of immortality saying such feelings would run their course. He now knew that wasn't the case.
Submitting to another's dominance was not even the most startling part of it, because if he examined his life with a brutal honesty--and he always did--he'd sought the Templar Order as an attempt to escape the squeezing torment upon his soul from his life with his father. The children, patricide. He'd surrendered what he was to find a way out of that turmoil. He'd desperately sought a sense of purpose for fear he'd be sucked into the blood and death of that time and never escape, becoming like his father. With the Ennui, he faced that possibility. Except he knew he wouldn't reach the same lows as his father had, because Keldwyn wouldn't permit it. He could trust Kel to do what needed to be done.