Kaidan and I stood there, staring at the place where our buffer person had disappeared and listening as the bike zoomed farther away. Several tense beats passed, both of us looking around the garage.
He cleared his throat. “We could take a walk,” he suggested. “If you’d like.”
“Sure.” We walked back around the house, down the many steps onto the sand until we were at that wonderful place where water met land.
“Ack!” I screamed as a wave washed over my feet and ankles. “It’s freezing!”
He smirked to himself. It was hot enough outside to offset the cold water, so after a few minutes I got used to it.
Together we walked in the surf, leaving our footprints in the sand. Neither of us spoke. We passed a man and a pregnant woman holding hands. Her free hand rested on top of the baby bump. They smiled in passing, and as I returned the gesture a powerful longing hit me. My hand brushed Kai’s, certain I’d felt his own fingers curl instinctively before we both pulled our arms away. Empty.
I didn’t know where to start with him. Too much hurt was between us, like a giant pile of rubble blocking our way.
“I heard your band’s first single.”
He looked at me with surprise and, if I didn’t know any better, shyness, too. His hair shielded part of his eyes when he asked, “Did you?”
“Jay’s interning at a radio station now, so he got his hands on it. It’s good. Are you having fun doing the recordings and stuff?”
He shrugged. “Music used to be my one escape. Playing was the only time I could forget everything.”
But it wasn’t anymore? His jaw clamped shut as if he’d said too much. All this time I’d been thinking at least he had his band and drumming to ease his mind. But he was worse off than I’d imagined.
He ran his hands through his hair several times, then shoved them in his swim trunk pockets and let the locks fall around his face as he peered down at the sand. We sidestepped a huge cloudy-looking glob.
“What is that?” I asked.
“Jellyfish.”
Silence again. We walked for a long time. Thank goodness for the distraction of waves and squawking seagulls because the tension and hurt between us was brutal. I wished I knew how to mend it. I wanted to ask him about working, and the Valentine’s Day visit, but we’d need to build up to that.
Up ahead, not too far, was a pier and a carnival. A tall Ferris wheel towered over the shore. The beach close ahead was filled with people. I felt the need to stop and say something before we were surrounded by crowds.
“Kai?” I put my hand in the crook of his elbow to gently halt him. He tilted his head to the side with a hard expression, but at least he didn’t pull away from me this time. “All I’ve wanted is to talk to you,” I began. Emotions that I’d buried for so long rose inside me, impassioning my words. “I don’t understand what you expected me to do. You pushed me away for so long, even pushed me toward someone else. I know I hurt you, but I never meant to. It was one kiss, Kaidan. A mistake. Now all three of us are hurting because of it. It’s unfair.”
“Don’t talk to me about what’s fair, Anna. Nothing is ever fair. Ask your father.” As soon as he said it, he winced and closed his eyes.
“My father . . . ?”
And that’s when it hit.
My mouth opened. Fury kicked, bruising me from the inside. I couldn’t speak.
Dad did this.
“He told you to stay away from me?”
Kaidan opened his eyes. “I’d been planning to move and keep my distance anyway, so we came to an agreement. The few times I got the urge to ring you, the reminder of his warning cleared my head.”
Kai had wanted to call me. . . .
“I can’t freaking believe this,” I whispered. I pressed my fingers to my temples and walked a small circle in the sand. It didn’t matter that Dad was looking out for me. He’d let me believe Kaidan didn’t care anymore. He’d betrayed me and threatened the boy I loved—a boy who already lived in enough fear.
“I won’t tell him that you told me,” I promised. It would only serve to make him angry at Kaidan.
“Belial was only demanding what was best. It’s what needed to be done.” With his toe, he nudged a sand crab that had been uncovered by a wave, and it scurried under the sand. “You’re safe. That’s what matters.”
His words were a warm wind blowing over my skin, coaxing up goose bumps.
“I’ve spent almost every night since that summit imagining how we could make this work, Kai. That night when I saw you in Atlanta was terrible. And then after you came to me in February, fighting with you was not what I had in mind for today.” I stopped to swallow. “I can’t take back what happened in Australia, but I hope you can forgive me.”
A blast of wind came, giving me an excuse to close my eyes.
“So, what is it that you want, Anna?”
That felt like a loaded question. And suddenly I was afraid of putting myself out there and being rejected by him yet again. Like a coward I responded, “If nothing else, I need you as a friend and an ally.”
“You want to be friends?” Kaidan lifted his eyes to me. “Because it’s not possible if you feel anything more than friendship. Allies, yes, but not friends. If you can show me your colors and prove there’s nothing left, then we can be friends.”
My jaw went slack and I shook my head back and forth.
He opened his stance, eyes bright as gems, voice full of challenge. “Show me,” he said.
“Show me yours first,” I countered.
“Not a chance.”
This was stupid. He had to know I still loved him. But whatever; if he wanted to see, I’d show him.
I peered around the beach and then let my guard down. As always, it felt strange. Kaidan’s arms dropped and his jaw softened. My heart raced as if I were naked in public, showing him what must have been a torrent of emotional colors. Six seconds was all I was willing to chance before reeling my aura back in. He stared at my face, showing that boyish vulnerability a moment more before checking his features into the familiar hardened mask and crossing his arms.
He jutted out his chin. “How do I know those colors are meant for me?”
Ugh!
“They’re for you,” I assured him, jaw clenching.
“If that’s so, then what I said before still holds. We can’t be friends.”
“Fine,” I said with a twist in my gut. “Go ahead and keep cutting me off. But when I actually live my life, you don’t get to be a jerk about it!”
He lifted his hands out to his sides in frustration. “You act as if we can have a relationship, Anna. We can’t!”
My hands tightened into fists at my sides. “You think I don’t know that? I’m painfully aware of that! But even Ginger and Blake find times when they can talk. You’re not the only one who hates his life. This year has sucked!”
I jumped when a boogie board drifted over and hit us on the ankles, chased by a boy in swim trunks. Kaidan picked it up and handed it back. We moved through the surf without talking, giving me a chance to calm. We ended up at the pier with its Ferris wheel painted in a faded rainbow of colors. It was afternoon and the sun was hot and bright when we left the sand and walked on the wooden boardwalk. Families milled about with ice cream cones, and a group of young skater boys loitered around the carnival entrance, smoking cigarettes and attempting trick moves. Kaidan led us past them into the carnival where smells of fried dough drifted along the air.
“Ever been on a Ferris wheel?” he asked me. I shook my head as we walked toward it, passing game stands with grumpy-looking attendants.
“Let me find a restroom first,” I said.
“Loos are by the entrance. I’ll meet you back here.”
It took a few minutes, but I found it. On my way back to the Ferris wheel I caught sight of Kaidan talking to a girl in front of a game booth. I stopped to watch as he handed over some money and was given three balls. The girl, a short and curvy Latina with satin
y black hair, leaned over the booth to watch. A lacy black thong peeked out of the back of her hip-hugging shorts. I had to give Kaidan props for not ogling. He tossed the balls one after another, hitting the nearly impossible targets with ease, much to the dismay of the old man attendant. The girl cheered and pointed to a pink teddy bear, which the attendant pulled down and handed to her with a frown.
They turned away from the booth and Kaidan stopped, seeing me.
“Es tu novia?” the girl asked him.
“Er, I’m sorry, I don’t know much Spanish,” he answered. I was decent at Spanish, having taken five years, so I knew she’d just asked if I was his girlfriend. I also knew he had Spanish skills as well, so he’d been avoiding the question.
“Thank you,” she told him, giving me one last glance before walking away, snuggling the pink bundle with pride.
I started moving toward the Ferris wheel when he approached.
“She came up to see if I could win that for her.”
“That was nice of you,” I said. I thought it was cute how he felt the need to explain.
Nobody was in line at the Ferris wheel, so we were let on the rickety contraption right away. An iron bar pressed loosely across our laps.
As the ride lifted, a nervous discomfort nagged me. I gripped the bar.
“Afraid of heights?” he asked. I gave a tight nod and he chuckled. Yeah, I know, I know. I’m a big chicken. He leaned forward to look down, which made the car rock back and forth. I gasped, grabbing the bar harder and squeezing my eyes shut. Maybe if I hadn’t looked so closely at the rusty bolts that held the thing together, my brain wouldn’t be envisioning malfunction.
“Relax.” He laughed. “Have a look.”
I pried my eyes open to look at the amazing view of the sun glimmering off the ocean. I relaxed back into the hard seat. Everything was fine. We were nearly to the top when the ride stopped to let someone else on. I turned my head to Kaidan and bit my lip. He was gazing at me. There was no other word for it. Gone was the hardness.
What was going on in that mind of his?
“Don’t be afraid,” he whispered. We started moving again, up, up, until stopping at the very top. We were high. Really high. It was bright and breezy, making us squint. Distant voices below sounded like a rowdy group was waiting to get on the ride, maybe the skater boys. But everything felt so far away from us at that moment, like we were floating miles above it all.
“I’m not afraid anymore,” I whispered back.
He cupped a hand over my forehead to shield the sun.
“We should have worn our sunglasses,” he murmured. He was so close I could feel his breath and see the dried sea salt in his hair. My skin became hot. He leaned closer, so close, and breathed in.
“God, you smell nice,” he whispered. “I’ve missed that smell. I’ve missed everything about you, little Ann.”
My heart neared bursting when he looked straight into me. We were alone. So alone up here. As if gravity weighed all the heavy stuff down and we’d risen above it. Jealousies and insecurities couldn’t exist this high off the ground.
Kaidan moved his head to the side of my face as if to whisper something, but instead his soft lips grazed the sensitive spot beneath my ear. I stilled. The hand that had been blocking the sun slipped beneath my hair in a caress. His mouth moved down my neck, slow, like a playful whisper. At the base of my throat I felt his warm tongue tasting me. I wove my fingers into his hair. When he raised his face to mine, our quickened breaths mingled. I took in the sweetness of citrusy pheromones, lifted off him by the breeze. Even sitting, it made me dizzy.
I tried to pull him, to close the gap between us, but he resisted.
“Tell me you want it,” he whispered against my mouth, transforming me into a puddle of desire. He groaned, a deep sound of pleasure and need, probably smelling the pheromones my own body expelled.
I closed my eyes and whispered, “I want it.”
“Look at me when you say it.”
My eyes drifted open and his hands gripped me, one at my waist and the other still behind my neck. I looked straight into his ocean eyes. “I want it, Kai.”
Moving closer, with his tongue he ran a warm path across my bottom lip and my whole body tingled. A whimpering sound escaped, revealing my desperation for him to end this teasing torment. I was about to burn up from the anticipation.
How many times had I dreamed of kissing Kaidan again?
A cloud moved in front of the sun, bathing us in a moment of cool shade.
A scratchy voice invaded my mind and Kaidan went rigid.
“Well, well . . .”
It was not a cloud blocking the sun. My clipped scream pierced the air at the sight of the demon hovering close. Kaidan jumped away from me with surprise and the car rocked. I gripped the bar again, terror ripping through me. This demon was not my father’s ally. It was a jackal-faced whisperer I’d never seen before. I clapped a hand over my mouth as sour nausea surfaced.
“What do we have here, eh? Two little Nephies going at it!”
Bad. Very bad. I’d left the hilt in my bag at Blake’s. Dad would be furious at me for not being on guard.
The demon must have sent its speech into both of our minds because Kaidan was the one to answer, sounding peeved.
“Just needed an opinion on a new technique. You can bugger off now. Shouldn’t you be at the summit?”
I sucked in a shocked breath at the offhand way he spoke to the spirit. Jackal-face laughed, a vile sound. He let his words drag out, cruel and torturous. “I’m on my way there now. Perhaps we can make a deal, yes? You do me a favor and I won’t tell the Dukies about what I seen today.”
“What sort of deal?” Kaidan asked.
The spirit gave a creepy smile.
“I want to feel the touch that humans live and die for. Let me use your body to have this Nephie girl just once.” He got closer, leering. “Just once, and I will keep your secret.”
A live serpent may as well have slithered into my lap and curled up as I processed what he was asking. I’d never been more repulsed by anything in my life.
Kaidan let out a sound of pure disgust. “You can’t be serious.”
My mind was quickly throwing together an idea. “It’s not a secret,” I told the dark spirit with confidence. “The Dukes know we work together. Pharzuph’s the one who told him to train me in the first place. But what you’re asking to do goes against Lucifer’s orders. So how about this for a deal? You leave us alone, and we won’t tell the Dukies that you tried to possess one of us and take a break from working.”
His evil canine features tightened into a scowl before he let out a wraithlike screech and called me a string of nasty names. I held my breath until he swooped away from us, allowing the bright sun to reheat our blood-drained faces. Kaidan and I sat straight, not touching. I stared at the blurry-looking ocean and tried to calm my heart and stomach as the ride clanked to the ground. Kaidan rubbed his face, muffling a curse.
What had we been thinking? This was a public place—of course there was a chance of whisperers being around! But we’d been so caught up in each other that we weren’t on our guard.
We couldn’t get off that thing fast enough. I stumbled from the car when the attendant opened the door. But as we sped away from the Ferris wheel, it clearly wasn’t over yet. There, in the row of game booths, was the same demon whisperer. Watching us.
“Go to the left,” Kaidan whispered to me, barely moving his lips. “I’ll distract him. Go straight back to Blake’s and I’ll meet you there.”
I tensed at the thought of separating, but he was already walking away. I went to the left where several small rides for children were. A horrid feeling of dread passed over me. I whipped my head around but saw only humans. A single thought weighed me down: Kaidan is in danger. Deep in my gut I was sure of it.
I turned back, trying to stay within the crowd. Lingering at the corner, I peered into the game booth alley and saw Kaidan at the very end
. He stood beside the last booth talking to the Latina girl with the pink teddy bear. They weren’t alone. The disgusting spirit swished around them, watching from every angle as Kaidan swept her long hair over her shoulder and ran the back of his fingers along her arm. The demon swooped down to whisper into her mind at the same time that Kaidan leaned and whispered something in her ear. Lust flared to life in her color spectrum and Kai caressed her waist. Her hand curled around his bicep.
Dread gathered like a storm swirling around me. I couldn’t look away.
Loud voices rang out from somewhere in the middle of the game row. Two men were arguing at a middle booth. The nosy demon was distracted from Kaidan and left to see what all the commotion was about. I circled back around, running past the children’s rides to the other side of the game alley. Kaidan had led the girl farther back, closer to where the bathrooms were around the side. I pushed my hearing out and watched, partially hidden behind a funnel cake stand.
“—didn’t realize what time it was,” Kaidan was telling her. “I need to be off.”
My vision was blocked by a group of people turning the corner toward them.
“There you are! Qué pasa? Dónde estabas?” An older girl gave the girl with the pink teddy bear a hard shove on her shoulder. She sounded annoyed, asking where the girl had been, then she sized up Kaidan.
“’Scuse me.” Kaidan attempted to move away from the group, but a big hand shot out and pressed against his chest. The guy looked back and forth from Kai to the teddy bear girl.
“Not so fast, gringo.”
My heart rate shot up as I took in his odds. There were five guys, and they looked to be in their early twenties. All with shaved heads and differing facial hair. Each had tattoos up his arms, and two of them had designs tattooed on their scalps. But it wasn’t their appearance that scared me. The thing that frightened me most was that underneath their severely darkened auras, they each wore something red on their bodies.
Gang members. And these guys were hard-core.
Please, I fervently prayed. Get him out of this!
“Jugar con mi chica?” The one with a hand on Kaidan asked if he was messing with his girl. Crap. He appeared to be the leader of this group, the way the others stepped back and let him take control. Hair lined his jaw, except at the scar across his chin, where no hair grew.