I don’t remember the last time I took the time to do something so relaxing. Maybe I never have. My ex-wife told me that was why she’d turned to my best friend. She said that I worked too much and made everything about business and money. She said that I didn’t know how to have fun and that’s what life was supposed to be about.
I do remember that my life was fast paced while she and I were together, but I had taken time with the baby. I actually took a two week vacation when he was born and for the next two years…before she took him away from me, I made time to see him every day. I’m sure that if I had been given the chance, I would have continued to find time to spend with him, I could have learned a new way of life.
But if I was being honest, she was right about me not taking time for her. I was under the assumption that she understood that I was doing what I needed to do for our family. She was an adult she should have been able to understand, right? I was creating a legacy that our son and his children and their children could live off of for generations. She didn’t understand though apparently. Instead, she hooked up with my best friend and had a baby she considered passing off as mine. Well, she did pass off as mine, at least long enough for her and her new man to save some money from the job I had given him. I still thought it was important to leave something for your family when you’re gone, I think never remarrying, and the contract that I have with Holly are my best bets. I will have my child and no one will be able to take him or her away.
I stopped and sat on a rock while Holly explored, oohing and aahing at everything she saw. It was fun to look at things through her eyes. There was so much of life she had never experienced that it was almost like being with a child when she did. I slipped off my shoes and socks which was something else I hadn’t done before, at least not since I was a kid, and as I followed her along the sparkling white beach with the scent of the ocean in my nostrils, I realized that I liked it. The feel of the warm sand beneath my feet was somehow relaxing in itself. I looked at Holly, splashing barefoot along the edge of the blue-green ocean and I realized I liked her too, probably too much. But I understood that this was a business deal, a contracted arrangement. I was able to separate my emotions from my business. She looked at me then with one of her dazzling smiles and I found myself hoping that she truly understood it as well. Sometimes I was a little bit worried that she was getting too attached.
“This beach is so pretty, and there’s hardly anyone else here. It’s like our own private island,” she said. Then, remembering what I’d told her earlier she added, “Oh not that having your own private island is anything new to you.”
I laughed and said, “Well, it’s not like I’ve ever been there.”
“Are you kidding? You have an island and you’ve never even seen it?”
“I’ve seen photos,” I told her with a grin. “I don’t have time to be sitting around on an island. It’s pretty far out, not just a day trip.”
“Well, it will be good anyways when you have your child. Imagine taking boating trips out to an island that your father owns and spending days exploring it. It makes me want to be a child again just thinking about it.”
I did like the way she said, “Your child,” but I didn’t care for the fact that she was trying to tell me what I should or shouldn’t be doing with him or her.
“I think having a child might decrease the amount of time I have to spend on an island, rather than increase it,” I said. That might not be the case, but I suddenly felt the need to make her understand that she wouldn’t have a say in how the child was raised.
She stopped walking and said, “Really? A vacation exploring with your child doesn’t appeal to you at all?”
“He can explore, of course. I’ll send him with his staff.”
“With his staff? Are you serious?” she laughed, but I could tell she wasn’t amused.
“Of course, why wouldn’t I be? I’ll need a nanny and then when you throw in a driver and a cook…well, then it’s a full staff pretty much.”
“But to say he’ll explore the world with his staff? Aiden you realize that children need their parents attention, right? Not just a pat on the head every now and again?”
I felt the annoyance flare hotter. She really was trying to tell me how I should raise my child. The one that she was being paid very well to walk away from. It made me angry and I snapped at her, “You realize that you have no say-so on the subject, right? This will be my child, not yours and I will raise him as I see fit. I’d prefer that you kept your opinions on that subject to yourself.”
She looked hurt, or maybe just shocked that I would speak to her that way. I felt bad about hurting her feelings by the way I’d said it, but I didn’t regret what I said. She seems to forget sometimes that we’re not actually a couple and that we’re not making a family together. It was all in black and white in the contract.
“I’m sorry for snapping at you,” I said, hoping that would appease her.
“It’s fine,” she said. “You’re right; it’s your child and your business.” She didn’t seem like it was fine and as she spoke I felt even worse about hurting her. I was really not an ass. I just wanted…no; I needed to keep things pragmatic. Her lips were pursed in a defensive way and I couldn’t help thinking about how sweet they always tasted. A sensation passed through my body and although I knew I should leave it alone for now so that she didn’t continue to get the wrong idea, I was compelled to kiss her. I covered the small space between us in one step and had her in my arms, kissing her, feeling her warm body against mine in two thrilling seconds.
When we came up for air she said, “What was that about?”
“Foreplay,” I told her. I was trying to be cute and charming but she furrowed her brow like she didn’t understand. “I was thinking of a long day at the beach, lunch in a nice restaurant and then a marathon of baby making sex when we get back…so that was foreplay.”
She smiled, but it looked forced. I saw something pass across her eyes and I wished for the first time that I knew what she was thinking. I told myself it didn’t matter, like the way I plan to raise my child; her thoughts were not my business. We had a contract and she signed it. I signed it and I hope that we both intended to honor it.
HOLLY