***
I was dressed in my beautiful, black designer gown and heels by the time Aiden got home. He looked at me and let out a low whistle.
“Wow, Holly…you’re gorgeous.”
“Thank you,” I said, blushing. “I’m looking forward to tonight.”
“Good, I’m looking forward to it, too,” he said. “I’ve seen a few, but not this one in particular. Let me shower and dress and then we’ll go.”
On the way, Aiden told me that the opera “Macbeth” that we were going to see was composed in 1847. He wanted it to reflect modern times, and times in Europe at that point were very dark. He wanted me to know that the sets and staging would be dark and ominous.
“It sounds fascinating,” I told him, honestly.
“Yeah, it does,” he said with a grin. “I like your enthusiasm for life, Holly,” he said, catching me off guard.
“You think I have a lot of that?” I asked him. I didn’t really see myself that way.
“I do, and I enjoy being around it. I feed off of it even at times.”
I laughed and said, “Well then, I’m glad I have it too.”
We of course sat in one of the private boxes once we’d gotten to the opera. One of Aiden’s business associates and his wife were seated in the box behind us and Aiden introduced me to them as his “girlfriend.” I found it strange and thrilling at the same time. It gave my imagination fodder for more hope that he’d somehow come around to wanting more out of our relationship. When the curtain came up and the lights went down, he even reached over and took my hand in his…this led me on further.
I tried to concentrate on the show. The lead soprano…Lady Macbeth was a gorgeous woman with a big, big voice. Aiden whispered at one point that Verdi had wanted her to be hideous. With this one, he would have been disappointed. She was so pretty, it was hard for even me to look away.
When she wasn’t on stage however, I found much of it to be very dark as Aiden had said it would be, and had to keep myself focused on it. I was wondering about his “girlfriend” comment, and the fact that he was holding my hand, and all of the things Myra said earlier. I was practicing in my head how I would tell him that I was pregnant…and I was wondering if he would still want to make love to me once he knew we’d been successful.
After the opera was over we had dinner at a cozy little steakhouse. I was feeling a warm glow by the time we got home, and was more than ready for Aiden’s amorous advances. We kissed and touched and got each other worked up out on the couch and then we played down the hallway, finally falling into my bed and into each other’s arms. Our lovemaking seemed different to me somehow. It was still mind-numbing but it seemed that Aiden was moving slower, savoring it a bit more. When I fell asleep in his arms that night I wished that I could wake up in the very same position.
Imagine my surprise when I did. The first thing I normally do is roll over and stretch out on the big bed. This day though I didn’t want to move. I was afraid of waking him up and breaking the spell. My whole body felt warm from the inside out. I could feel his steady breaths on the side of my face and his lips brushing lightly against my skin. I thought about the baby growing inside of me and I had another silly fantasy that Aiden would wake up and decide that we should raise him together. I was lost in these thoughts when he did wake up.
He looked around the room, disoriented, and when he realized where he was he pulled back and away from me and I knew without asking that he had fallen asleep by mistake and not because he couldn’t stand the thought of leaving the comfort of my arms. After he stretched, he did look at me and smile. It was a forced smile, but I suppose I should give him credit for trying.
“Do you want some breakfast?” I asked him.
“What were you thinking?”
I don’t know if it was the pregnancy already or if it was all the sex, but I was craving pancakes. “How about pancakes…and eggs.”
“Mmm, sounds sweet and tempting. I’ll take it,” he said. “I’m going to shower while you fix them if you don’t mind.”
“Sure,” I told him. I hate to admit it, even to myself but I was hoping for a kiss before he got out of bed. Unsurprisingly, I was disappointed. He jumped up and headed out of the room and back to his for his shower. I got up and slipped on my robe and slippers and after brushing my teeth and hair I went out to make the breakfast.
I had a griddle of pancakes set and got ready to make the eggs when I realized that I’d forgotten to ask Aiden what kind of eggs he wanted. Padding down the hall towards his room, I was stopped short by the sound of his voice. I figured that he must be on the phone and I turned to go back to the kitchen so he didn’t think I was eavesdropping. Then I heard the word “fertility” and I stopped in my tracks. Like a criminal, I crept to the door and stood quietly next to it. My stomach began to churn and I could feel the bile rising to the back of my throat as I heard him speaking.
“So you’ve had three and it only took two inseminations for the first one and one for the next two? That’s amazing! I’ve been trying with my surrogate for over two months and nothing yet. I haven’t decided just yet if I’m ready to give this one up, but I thank you for calling me back and I’ll be getting back to you soon. Okay, you too, thanks.”
I swallowed the vomit I wanted to expel and all but ran back down the hall. By the time he came out I had his breakfast on the table and I didn’t care if he liked his eggs scrambled or not. I told him I wasn’t feeling hungry and I was going to shower. Once inside my own room I was finally able to cry. I sat against the door and bawled my eyes out, telling myself how stupid I’d been. Aiden had no feelings for me at all. I was a “baby-maker” to him and that was all, easily traded out if I wasn’t getting the job done to his specifications. I had to get up in a hurry and run to the bathroom, finally expelling the vomit. I felt so stupid and worse than that, physically ill. I sat on the bathroom floor for a long time. I’m not sure how long it was, but I jumped when I heard a knock on the door.
“Yes!” I said, trying to keep the tremor out of my voice.
“Holly, I’m going to the office for a bit. I’ll be home for dinner.”
“Fine,” I said, formulating my own plan for the day in my head. As soon as he was gone, I showered and dressed. Then I packed a little overnight bag and called a cab. Then I called the Best Western near the café and made myself a reservation for the night. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do from there, but I did know that today and tonight, I couldn’t be in the penthouse…I couldn’t look at Aiden.
~
Chapter Thirteen
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