***
Thalos groped at Chantasy while he drank from his neck. The feeling of a warm body against him gave him as much pleasure as consuming the blood did. His gorgeous Laotian assistant stayed focused on the screen of his smart phone.
“Your hands are like, awful busy, Mr. Thalos.”
He felt a stab of embarrassment and stopped moving his hands.
“You have, like, seven vampire RSVPs for the Bangkok Blood Hotel’s New Year’s gala thing.”
Thalos kissed his mouth off Chantasy’s neck and swallowed. “Only seven?”
“They’re too scared of those vampire hunters. You know? Like, why even risk having a big party? They could probably show up and, like, kill all of you.”
Thalos licked the drop of blood that trickled down the side of Chantasy’s neck.
“Ew! No licking. It feels so icky.”
Thalos groaned. “How can you be straight? You’re so effeminate.”
He heard Chantasy pressing his thumb on the touch screen. “Not everyone effeminate is gay. Oh em gee. That’s, like, such a stereotype. Should we, like, cancel, this, like, gala?”
Thalos peeled himself away from Chantasy to get the first-aid kit. He wished he could luxuriate in the feedings. His assistant always used that time to bombard him with minutia.
“No. We have to start testing VP’s tolerance for us. Vampires can’t keep cowering in the shadows forever. This is an important event for noble vampires. We don’t kill, and we shouldn’t be persecuted.” He swabbed Chantasy’s neck with an alcohol wipe and put a bandage on him.
“Well, you’re fine, but, like, other vampires can’t go into the sun or turn into rain like you can.”
“Mist.”
“So they can totally get killed by those hunters.”
“VP is too busy with bad vampires. Johann takes 100 victims a night.”
“Does he pay them?”
“He kills them.”
“That sucks! So is the world, like, going to end next year? Like the Mayan calendar thing about 2012?”
“I don’t know.” Thalos moved to the other side of his home office to sit at a massive mahogany desk. “If you don’t have anything else for me you can leave.”
Chantasy spoke while focused on his screen. “Why so cold? I just let you suck my blood. Dang. Like, you could be nicer.”
Thalos focused on paperwork. “Chantasy, I’m lonely. You’re not the type of company I want.”
He burst up from the leather sofa. “I think lonely’s like your code word for horny. You better go to bed early because you’re flying to Thailand tomorrow morning.” He scrolled with his thumbs. “Like, early. Like, really early.” His thumbs stopped. “Your plane leaves at 5:45 from JFK.”
“I don’t really need to sleep, you know.”
Chantasy clucked his tongue. He picked up his satchel from the floor. “Oh em gee. You don’t need, like, sleep and stuff, but you don’t know if the world is going to end next year? Dang.”
Thalos went to a male escort site online. He clicked through some familiar faces. Each one gave him an uncomfortable sting. Paying for sex depressed him. He’d have a night of lewdness without intimacy, or, even worse, a self-loathing drug addict would show up anxious to get the miserable work over with. His work towards vampire/mortal peace gave him purpose. The cost of his mission: any chance for love in his existence. After all these millennia he remained a pitiful romantic.
Thalos went to bed early as commanded. At least sleep would break up his days and gave him a new start each morning. Sleeping became sublime when snuggled up with a partner. Thoughts like these relaxed him.
He sensed people outside his loft. Thalos assumed his driver had arrived. He didn’t move at once. Then he realized dozens of humans teamed through his home.
He woke with a jolt. A dark-clad Vampire Poison soldier looped a crucifix on a chain around his neck. Thalos snatched at it. Another agent poked his chest with a stake. Five more men encircled his bed with crossbows aimed at his heart.
“Hand off the chain! Hand off the chain!”
Thalos displayed the palms of both hands with a look of annoyance. The stakes posed no critical threat. He’d yanked out hundreds put in his heart by Vampire Poison over the last thousand years. If stakes could kill him he would have done the job himself during his suicidal period. He only feared them because they brought excruciating pain.
“You’ve had my location for months,” Thalos said. “Why are you capturing me now?”
He’d hoped he fell off their radar. Destroying monsters like Johann should have been their primary concern. Why pester a noble vampire who only endeavored to redeem others?
One of the soldiers took out shackles embossed with crosses. If Thalos had a beating heart it would have quickened at the sight of them. Once they closed on his wrists he no chance of escape.
The men focused on him with their weapons. Thalos’ hands shrunk away from the restraints.
“Don’t be stupid! Hold him!”
He ripped off the cross and turned to mist. One stake penetrated him a torturous inch, but now impaled his mattress.
“He’s misted!”
An agent pulled out what looked like a leaf blower and sucked him in. Thalos found himself in belly of a small vacuum. He felt ridiculous. His form spread out until he found a leak. He seeped free of the contraption.
“He’s out! He’s out!”
Thalos sailed towards the vent. A cross-emblazoned cover blocked it. He flowed toward his window. They put a cross on his shade but he managed to drift beneath it. He could hear the agents swearing behind him.