I was slowly learning that the things I’d thought would break me were smaller than I’d made them in my head. I had to just push through them.
“Sure, baby,” I finally said with a small smile. “Wanna take my car?”
Cam’s breath left him in a relieved whoosh and he grinned back at me. “Gonna have to—no way you’re fittin’ on the back of my bike.”
* * *
The drive to Cam’s parents was hard. I felt completely on edge, even though Cam held my hand the entire way, rubbing my palm soothingly with his thumb.
“Want you to know, I’m not gonna be some controlling asshole,” he said abruptly, pulling me out of my memories.
“What?” I asked in confusion.
“I like control,” he started, making me snort. “I like it, because when I know where you’re at—what you’re doin’—I know you’re safe. I know how to get to you if you’re not safe.”
“I’m not going to put me or the boys in danger,” I retorted, turning to look at him.
“I know you won’t,” he said, lifting my hand to his mouth to kiss it. “But my mom didn’t, either—you know? She was just… sleepin.’ That’s all it took, just sleepin’ in the house with the kids, and it was all over. I got home to…nothin.’ It was all gone.”
“I’m not your mom, Cam.”
“I know you’re not, and I’m sure as fuck not my dad.” He squeezed my hand and rested it on his thigh. “But not knowin’ where you and the boys are when you’re not with me? The thought of that makes me fuckin’ crazy.”
“I don’t—”
“Baby, I’m not gonna boss you around, all right? Shit, that ain’t true—” I laughed at his disgruntled expression. “If there’s shit happenin’ at the club, and I need you to be safe—I’ll sure as shit boss you around. But otherwise? I just need to know that you’re okay.”
“Okay,” I said, squeezing his hand.
“Okay? You’re not gonna fight with me?”
“Cam, I grew up with my pop,” I replied flatly. “I know what I’m getting into. I mean, I don’t want to be my mom, just so we’re clear. I want to work and have a life separate from the Aces, but I’m not going to bitch that you need to know I’m safe. The life we have isn’t exactly easy, especially on you.”
“Well, shit,” Cam said softly, making me smile.
“We’ll figure it out,” I murmured, leaning back in my seat as we turned down Casper and Farrah’s long gravel driveway.
“You and me, Sweetbea.” Cam reached out and rested his hand on my belly. “And our boys.”
“Finally,” I sighed.
* * *
“What is this?” Gramps teased as Cam and I walked into Farrah and Casper’s. “Finally got yer shit together, eh?”
“Yeah, yeah,” I mumbled back, leaning in to give the old man a hug.
“Hey, sweetheart,” Nan said, grabbing me as soon as I’d let go of Gramps. “All good?” she whispered in my ear.
“All good,” I whispered back.
“Hey, you want a beer, boy?” Casper asked, getting to his feet across the living room. “Trix, good to see ya.”
“No thanks. I’m drivin’.”
“You can’t have one beer?” Farrah asked, walking into the room.
My entire body locked up as she came closer. I’d only seen Farrah a couple of times since Cam and I had our fallout, and she’d been cool toward me both times. Not hostile, really. More like she acted as if I wasn’t worth her time.
I didn’t blame her, but it had still hurt my feelings.
“Got precious cargo,” Cam muttered, stepping forward to give Farrah a hug. “Where are the girls?”
“Up watching a movie in CeeCee’s room,” Farrah grimaced. “Lil’s listening. She picked a musical.” She gave us a tight smile, and I suddenly wanted to pull her into my arms.
“You’re huge,” she said suddenly, glancing down at my belly. “Holy shit, man. You’re going to be massive by the time those boys come out.”
Cam scowled, but I couldn’t help the laughter that spilled out of my mouth.
“I know, right?” I gasped, looking down at Farrah’s normal sized bump. “You obviously have only one.”
“Thank God. I’ll leave the twins to you two idiots.” She smiled then, a huge, warm smile meant just for me. “Glad you’re here, Trix.”
“Me, too.”
“Sit, sit,” Casper ordered, falling back into his recliner. “Stay a while.”
We all settled into our places, with Cam and I sitting on one couch, Gramps and Nan on the other, and Farrah on Casper’s lap.
“What are you guys doing today?” Nan asked, settling into my Gramps’ side. “Any plans?”
“Probably lookin’ for a house,” Cam answered, glancing down at me. “Need a place to bring the boys home to.”
“An apartment would work,” I interrupted, glancing quickly at Casper and Farrah. “It doesn’t have to be a house.”
“Boys need room to play, Sweetbea.”
“They won’t even be walking for like two more years!”
“Doesn’t matter—need a place to settle—” Cam argued before Gramps cut him off.
“Well, I got an idea if you two are done bickerin’.” Gramps said, waiting until we were both looking his way before he continued. “Came over today to talk to Farrah about Charlie and Vera’s place. They didn’t leave a will and it was in my name—but I figured they’d want Farrah to have it—take what she wants, at least.”
“Okay,” I said in confusion.
“Farrah and Casper wanna stay here, so that leaves a vacant house right near the clubhouse. Ain’t like we could sell it.”
“You serious?” Cam asked.
“Yep.”
Cam turned to look at Farrah. “You sure, Ma?”
“Of course. Even after all that happened in this house—we love it here. We raised you and the girls here. Wanna raise the new baby here, too. If you want Slider and Vera’s place, it’s yours.”
“Trix?” Cam asked, turning back to me. I didn’t answer him verbally, but the indecision must have been clear on my face, because he was immediately pulling me up off the couch and dragging me toward the kitchen.
“What were you thinkin’ for rent?” Cam asked, pausing to look back at Farrah.
“Place is paid off. You take care of the taxes and we’ll call it even.”
Then Cam was moving again.
“What’re you thinkin’?” Cam asked the minute we were alone.
“I don’t know.” I tucked my thumbs into my fists, a nervous tick my psychologist had pointed out to me, and was startled as Cam gently raised my hands and loosened my fingers.
“Talk to me, Bea.”
“I just—that’s a big gift, Cam. That’s huge. I mean, a house?”
“Yeah, that was my first thought, too,” he replied, nodding his head. “But, baby. Think of how much we could save if we weren’t payin’ rent. You know?”
“Yeah.”
“I wanna be able to set up accounts or somethin’ for the boys—you know, in case they wanna go to college or a trade school or somethin’.” He was looking over my shoulder like he was seeing into the future, and I felt my eyes start to water.
“Plus, you know you’re gonna wanna go to work at some point, right? I mean, after the boys are a little older—or when they’re little—whatever you want,” he said hurriedly. “If we lived at Slider and Vera’s old place, your mom would be right there. You know she’d babysit. And I’d work so close to home, I could be with the bo—”
I cut off his words with my lips as the first tears fell down my cheeks.
“Okay,” I mumbled against his mouth. “Sounds perfect.”
Cam lifted his fist and pulled it sharply down to his side in the dorkiest move I’d seen in ten years… and he was the one I’d seen do it back then.
“I thought you’d grown out of that shit,” Farrah drawled from the entry to the kitchen.
“Hell,
no,” Cam replied, laughing as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and kissed the side of my head. “I was savin’ it for the right time.”
Epilogue
Cameron
“Time to wake up, Sweetbea,” I called softly as I pulled the blankets down Trix’s bare shoulder.
“No. Sleep time,” Trix mumbled, scooting awkwardly down the bed and trying to stay under the covers as I moved them.
“Got a big day today.”
“Don’t care. Need sleep.”
“You sure?” I leaned down and ran my lips over the poppies tattooed on her bicep, licking around the edges. “I can let you sleep for another hour, or you can have an orgasm.”
“Sleep,” she replied instantly, making me chuckle.
“Yeah, that’s not gonna work for me.”
“Does this really have to be a thing?” Trix gasped as she rolled onto her back. “I like orgasms as much as the next girl, but your sons kept me up all damn night.”
“Yeah?” I asked, running my hand down her huge belly. Every day, she woke up bigger, and I kept thinking, there’s no way she has any more room in there—and then the next day, she was even bigger than before.
“I love you,” she said sleepily.
“Love you, too, Sweetbea. Kiss me.”
“You’re gonna have to come down here,” she said ruefully, dropping her head back against the pillow. “I don’t think I’ll even be able to roll back over.”
I grinned as our lips met.
“Let me help you,” I murmured into her mouth, sliding my hand under her lower back to help her roll.
“I can’t believe you got me to sleep naked,” she said softly as I kissed my way down her back.
“Don’t fit in your pajamas.”
“I could have bought new—oh.” Her last word ended on a sigh as I slid my fingers over her pussy from behind.
“Happy I woke you up?” I asked as her breath hitched.
“Yeah.” She groaned. “Pretty soon, this isn’t going to work anymore.”
“Wrong.” I stated flatly, pushing her upper thigh toward the bed. “Just gotta be creative.”
I reached up to cover one of her tits with my hand as I canted my hips, sliding inside her easily.
Trix moaned into the pillow, then placed her hand over mine at her chest, lacing our fingers together. “Harder,” she ordered, pulling her thigh up even higher.
God, I loved yoga.
“Slow,” I argued. “We got time.”
She pressed my hand harder against her tit and arched her back, shoving her hips back against me.
“So impatient,” I said against the skin of her shoulder, making her growl.
I pulled my hand from her breast and ran my nails against the skin of her hip, making her jolt.
We’d figured out that Trix liked a little bit of pain, but she still couldn’t handle the sound of my hand smacking her ass. Fine with me—I just got creative.
A pinch here, a little scratch or bite there, and my woman went off like a rocket.
“Cam,” she moaned as I started to speed up, my fingers digging into the flesh of her thigh. She reached down and shoved my hand between her thighs. “You know I can’t reach,” she whined.
I laughed silently and found her clit, rubbing in circles as she tightened around me and came.
I followed her down the rabbit hole.
Goddamn, it got better and better every time.
“Sleep now?” Trix asked softly.
“Nope. Shower time.”
I climbed off the bed and burst out laughing when I realized that she’d somehow gotten hold of the blankets as I moved and had pulled them up and over her head.
* * *
“You sure you don’t want to come?” Trix asked as she stuffed half a granola bar into her mouth.
“Hell, no.”
“Oh, come on. We’re getting presents,” she complained as I ushered her out of our new house.
We’d moved into Slider and Vera’s old place a few months before, and Trix was still trying to put her stamp on it. I didn’t mind that she wanted to make the place ours, but swear to Christ, the FedEx delivery guy was stopping at the gates to the clubhouse so often, I think he was considering becoming a prospect.
“The boys are getting presents, I’m not gettin’ shit,” I said as I helped her into the car.
“Still—”
“Dicks don’t belong at baby showers,” I cut her off as I started her car and pulled down our driveway. “Only reason my boys are goin’ is because they’re stuck in there,” I said, pointing at her belly.
“Fine.” She pouted for a minute, then turned to me. “You think we’re lazy for not walking to my mom’s?”
“No, I think you’re a thousand months pregnant and shouldn’t be walkin’ that far.”
“Okay, so it’s just you that’s lazy.”
“Funny.”
Trix laughed merrily, reaching over to rest her hand on my thigh.
I loved when she did shit like that.
It took less than two minutes to drive to her parents’ house, and when we got there, the driveway was already crowded as hell with cars.
“They didn’t even leave room for me to drop you off,” I growled, parking at the back and heading around the door to help her out.
“I think I can walk thirty feet,” Trix said before she tripped in the gravel.
“Right,” I snapped, wrapping my hand around her waist.
My ma came out to meet us, her belly leading the way.
“You’re here!”
“You see how far back we had to park?” I barked, making her scowl at me.
“Ignore him,” Trix mumbled, tilting her head back for a kiss.
“Wait inside till I come get ya,” I ordered.
“Yeah, yeah. See ya later.”
I stood there watching as Trix pulled away and linked arms with Farrah, walked into the house and let the door slam in my face.
Then I turned toward the clubhouse. Lazy, my ass. I was walking.
* * *
“Moose!” Poet yelled out happily a couple hours later, pointing at Will. “Name’s Moose.”
“Where the fuck did you get that?” Casper asked incredulously.
We were all well on our way to shitfaced. The minute I’d walked through the front door, Casper dragged out the moonshine one of Poet’s contacts had sent down. The shit tasted like lighter fluid, it was so strong. Some asshole had probably made it in his damn bathtub.
“You’re not callin’ me Moose,” Will grumbled, shaking his head. “No.”
“Don’t got a choice, boy.” Grease said with a smile, tipping back in his chair. “Once it’s said, it’s yours.”
“Fuck,” Will hissed, taking another shot of moonshine.
“Gather round, children,” Poet yelled, laughing. “Shit, me beards in me fuckin’ booze.”
The table erupted in laughter as Poet tried to wring the moonshine out of his beard and back into the shot glass in front of him.
“Fuck it,” he mumbled, patting his beard against his chest. “Now fer the story of Will’s name.”
“There was once a president of these United States—”
“Jesus,” Dragon bitched, running his hand over his face. “Seriously, man?”
“Shut yer gob,” Poet shot back. “Now where was I?”
“The president,” I reminded him, my lips twitching.
“Right! In 1912, President Theodore Roosevelt was givin’ a speech in Milwaukee, Wisconsin—”
“This story have a point?” Will grumbled.
“—and a saloonkeeper shot him in the chest,” Poet continued. “Good old Roosevelt kept right on with his speech. Told the crowd, ‘Takes more than one bullet to kill a bull moose.’” Poet nodded, then pointed again at Will. “Moose.”
We all sat in dumbfounded silence for a moment.
“I got shot twice,” Will finally said, his voice devoid of emotion.
I laughed so h
ard I thought I was going to hack up that fucking moonshine.
Acknowledgements
Bloggers and Readers: This story really is for you. If it wasn’t for your comments and messages, Cam and Trix’s story wouldn’t have ever been written. When I ended Casper and Farrah’s epilogue so far in the future, I’d thought that I’d give a glimpse of everyone, healthy and happy, and that would be the end of the Aces. But you wouldn’t let me get away with that – you wanted to see those babies I’d written turn into adults… and I’m really, really glad you did. Thank you.
Mom and Dad – I love you! Thanks for cheering me on, every time.
My girlies – thanks for being patient, yet again, while your mother got caught up in a story you knew nothing about. You guys are so incredible and my biggest supporters. There will come a day soon when you’ll want me to go write instead of bugging you, but I’m really glad that for now at least, you still want to hang out with your dorky mom. I love you a ton.
Sister – thanks for listening to me yammer on about Cam and Trix and all of your help with the girlies. Love you.
Nikki – there would be no story if I didn’t have you to talk to. You’re my biggest sounding board and I couldn’t do this without you. Ever. Thank you for making sure I don’t look like an idiot every time I hit publish.
Wolfpack 1775: Thanks for the late night chats about… nothing. They’re my favorite kind of chats. You keep me sane when I’m losing it – I hope I do the same for you.
Toni: Dude. You complete me. You had me at hello. You had me at, “I’m going to wear this ratty assed sweatshirt in the middle of a Vegas casino in August while my husband stands beside me looking like he shopped at the GQ store… and I’m also going to smoke this cigarette and drink this cheap beer while I do it.” You have no idea how awesome you are, and I kind of like that about you. Peas and Carrots.
Donna: Here we are again. Can you believe it? Thank you a million times.
Lola: Thanks for putting up with my, “It’s too light, it’s too dark, I don’t like that font, could you move it to the right, no left, no right again.” You were super patient even though I know I was a pain in the ass, and you rocked that cover design.