Taking my seat at the window, I watched for her to come home. I called her phone again, and her recorded voice came on. I listened to her until the phone beeped, then I hung up. I’d left enough messages. So I sent her a text message instead.
PLEASE was all I could type. Then I hit send.
Chapter Twenty-Two
BLYTHE
The hospital wasn’t somewhere I was familiar with. I had only been inside one once, and it had been this one. I’d had pneumonia when I was eight. I remembered more about going to the hospital than the actual visit. Pastor Williams had taken me. I had been sick for days, but Mrs. Williams was saying that I was being lazy and didn’t want to do my chores.
Then one night I had heard them yelling at each other. It was the first and last time I had ever heard them fight, at least like that. Pastor Williams had come into my room, picked me up, and taken me to the hospital. They had admitted me, and then he had left. A week later he had picked me up, and I had gone home. No one had visited me that week. No one had brought me balloons like the other kids down the hall had been given. It had been just me and the television.
As I walked back through the doors of Token Memorial Hospital, that memory replayed in my head. Pastor Williams had seemed fierce that night. Like he was protecting me. But then he’d left me alone again. Maybe this was a pattern in my life.
“This way,” Linc said. He had already asked where we needed to go when he’d called earlier. Pastor Williams was still in the ICU, and he needed surgery. He had a blood clot. Surgery was risky, but if he didn’t have it, then there was a good chance he’d just have another heart attack due to blockage.
We took the elevator to the third floor and made a right into a large waiting room. Linc pointed to a chair. “Go have a seat. I’ll let them know we are here.”
I did as I was told. I had rather he handle it anyway. I didn’t want to talk to people.
“Blythe.” I glanced up to see several pairs of eyes on me. Members of the congregation. Of course. They would be here. No one ever really spoke to me. I was almost surprised they knew my name. I turned to look at Sylvia Bench, the church secretary for as long as I could remember. She had been the one to call my name.
“Hello,” I said, unsure what else they wanted from me. I was back in this world. The one where people ignored me or whispered about me. The one where I was an outcast and had evil inside me. Evil I had grown up wishing so hard I could get out of me.
“We wondered if you’d come,” Sylvia said, studying me through her round glasses that perched on the tip of her pointy nose. She wasn’t a nice person. I knew that much.
I wasn’t sure what she wanted me to say to that, either. I wasn’t sure if I would have come if I hadn’t just had my new world snatched from underneath me, but I was here because I was running.
“Blythe.” Linc was at my elbow, guiding me away from the chair I had been told to go to and out of the waiting room. What were we doing now? “I need to talk to you. It’s important.”
If he was about to tell me he had to leave, I wasn’t sure how I would handle that. I couldn’t stay here alone with these people. But now that I was here, could I just leave?
Linc pulled me around a corner and looked around to make sure no one was close enough to hear him. Then he turned to meet my curious gaze. He was acting weird. I wasn’t sure I could take another man acting weird on me and then unloading something on me I couldn’t handle. But then there wasn’t anything Linc could tell me that would shatter me the way Krit had. I was sure Linc couldn’t even hurt me.
“There’s a problem. I . . .” He rubbed his hand over his face and muttered a curse. I had never heard him curse before. “I shouldn’t be the one who has to tell you this. I don’t want to be the one. But . . . I think you would want to know. I mean . . . you have to know.” He made a frustrated noise in his throat, then he asked. “What’s your blood type?”
Was he kidding me? He was acting like this because he wanted to know my blood type? “B negative. It’s rare. Why?” I only knew this because we did blood typing in high school. My teacher had made a big deal out of my blood type. Most people had been O positive.
“Wow, yeah, okay. At any time in your life did you wonder why Pastor Williams and his wife were raising you?”
I nodded. “Yeah. Because my mom was a member of the congregation, and they didn’t want me to get thrown into the system and end up in foster care or something. Why are you asking me such random questions?”
Linc massaged his temples like he had a headache. “That’s all you ever thought?” he asked.
“Uh, yeah.”
Dropping his hand to his side, he fidgeted. Then he finally looked directly at me. “I know that this wasn’t something that they ever told anyone. It was a secret. One that I only know because Pastor Williams is a close friend of my dad’s. He needed to tell someone so he talked to my dad about it. I’ve only known since you got to Sea Breeze. My dad explained your situation before I met you that day. I was never really sure if you knew the truth or not. But . . . I don’t see how I can’t tell you now,” he paused and took a deep breath. “Pastor Williams had an affair with a girl twenty years younger than him, and that girl got pregnant. Then she died in childbirth. Pastor Williams refused to let his child go into the foster care and forced his wife who couldn’t have children to let the baby come live with them. Mrs. Williams agreed because she had no choice. She wasn’t going to divorce her husband, but she hated what he had done. She was jealous of the child. And I’m pretty sure she never treated that little girl right.”
I had been wrong.
There was something Linc could say that would once again shatter me.
I grabbed the counter for support and blinked several times. Did I just hear him correctly? Had he just said . . . ?
“He needs surgery now, but they don’t have the blood he needs and he’s gonna need it. They have sent for blood, but it could take hours, and that’s too long. They need to have some now. He has B negative,” he said in a hurried rush. “Look, I never wanted to be the one to tell you this. But he could die, and you are the only one right now who might be able to save him. If it was my dad, I’d want to know.”
He needed my blood. That’s the only reason Linc was telling me. Yet he had known the story. How many people knew this? Was I the only one?
The man I had lived in a house with my entire life and not had any relationship with was my father. He’d watched me grow; yet he had no attachment to me at all, and he was my father. My stomach clenched, and if there had been any food in it, I was sure I would have lost it, too. But I was empty. I hadn’t been able to eat.
“Talk to me,” Linc urged.
I shook my head. I wasn’t ready to talk to him. “Where do I go give blood?” I asked him. That was the only thing I needed to know right now. The man had basically abandoned me while living right there in the same house as me, but I wasn’t about to let him die if I could do something to help him. I’d lived my whole life thinking I had no family. When all along . . . I could have had one. If he’d wanted me.
KRIT
Two weeks. That’s how long it had been since I’d walked through life numb. Two weeks since I’d woken up with Blythe in my arms. Two weeks since she’d left me. I was hollow. The void I had once had was nothing compared to being hollow inside. I called her daily and left her a voicemail. Every night I sent her a text message. I kept hoping eventually she’d give in and call me. Let me know where she was and if she was all right.
I had gone to the church she worked at, demanding to know where Linc had taken her, but they’d called the cops and had me escorted out while I was yelling at them and threatening to kill Linc. Rock had had to come pick me up at the police station. I wasn’t allowed within a hundred yards of the church parking lot.
Now all I could do was wait. Trisha had said Blythe loved me. She had never told me she loved me. But I held onto the hope that I loved her enough for both of us. That she would
miss me and come back.
Jackdown now had a new bass player, and Green was the lead singer. They said it was temporary until I could come back. But if Blythe didn’t come back to me, I knew it was permanent. I wouldn’t be able to get back on that stage again and sing.
Britt still hadn’t gone to the doctor to get me any proof. Trisha had called today and asked if I’d heard anything from Britt. When I told her no, she’d said she was going to take care of that. Which meant Trisha was gonna take Britt to the doctor whether she wanted to go or not.
Someone knocked on my door, and I turned to look at it from where I sat on the sofa. It was unlocked. If it was someone I knew, they’d just open it. When they only knocked again, I got up. Blythe was the only thing running through my head. She wouldn’t just open the door. She’d knock.
I took three long strides and jerked the door open. Linc Keenan didn’t have much time before my fist was firmly planted in his face and I was shoving him back against the wall, my hand at his neck. I was gonna pummel him. He took her from me. He took my Blythe from me.
“Dumbass! I told you not to come here. That I’d tell him you wanted to talk to him. What part of ‘he’s a crazy-ass motherfucker who wants to kill you’ don’t you understand?” Green’s voice stopped me, and I tightened my hold on Linc’s throat.
“He is here to tell you where Blythe is,” Green said to me. “If you kill him, then you won’t ever know. And you’ll end up in jail. Again,” Green said as he stared pointedly at me.
I eased my hold and turned my focus to Linc. “Where is she?”
He was holding up both of his hands in surrender “Cahn breev,” he choked out.
I dropped my hand from his throat. “Where is she?” I asked again.
He rubbed his neck. “I’m gonna tell you where she is, but first I need to explain the situation.”
I had my hand back at his throat instantly. “Where is she?” I roared, and Green was behind me, pulling me back, but I wasn’t moving.
“For the love of God, tell him where she is!” Green yelled.
Linc was scratching at my hands, and I noticed he was a little blue. I dropped my hand again, and he bent over and gasped for air. I gave him five seconds then asked again.
“Where is she?”
“Token, South Carolina. Hospital with her dad, uh, Pastor Williams. He had a heart attack two weeks ago. I took her there.” He gasped again and then looked up at me. “He needed blood. He’s got a rare type, and it’s a small hospital. She has the same type. But she never knew he was her dad. She does now, and he’s in the hospital. She’s been there ever since. But”—he rubbed at his throat—“I think she needs you.”
She needed me. I turned from him and walked into the apartment. I grabbed my keys then looked down at them. I needed a car. It would be faster. I had to get to her. She needed me.
“Take my car,” Green said, shoving his keys into my hand. “I’ll find out the specifics and text them to you. Go.”
I didn’t look back. I took off running.
Chapter Twenty-Three
BLYTHE
I stared at my phone. I hadn’t turned it on since I left Sea Breeze. I was scared to. What if Krit had left me messages? What if he hadn’t? What if he was going to doctor’s appointments with Britt now? What if he had realized he missed his old life? I just couldn’t face any of that.
“You look better,” Malcolm said. He wasn’t Pastor Williams anymore, but he also wasn’t Dad. I didn’t know if he would ever be Dad. That seemed like a word reserved for someone who protected you and cared for you. Malcolm had done neither.
I glanced up at him. He was less pale today. He’d been out of the ICU for three days now. “I went to the house like you suggested and took a shower. Got some sleep. Washed my clothes,” I replied.
“Good. You were looking exhausted. Sorry Linc left you.”
I wasn’t. I had wanted him to go. He’d stayed, but I hadn’t talked to him much. Then three nights after Malcolm’s surgery, I’d overheard him on the phone with a girl. His fiancé. Who lived in Mississippi and who he’d been engaged to for a year. All the phone calls he had needed to take made sense now. I had known he was tense and dealing with someone, but I had never had any idea he had a fiancé.
The numbness that had taken over me since finding out about Britt’s pregnancy and that Pastor Williams was my biological father had made telling Linc to leave easy. I had pointed to the door and told him to go. Then I’d walked away from him without another word. Linc was out of my life. Not because I was upset that he had a fiancé, but because I was upset he’d cheated on her with me. He should have never taken me out on those dates. There would be no friendship between us. That had been all I needed to know about Linc Keenan.
“I’m not. Glad he’s gone,” I replied honestly.
Malcolm nodded. He didn’t ask why. Which was good because I probably wouldn’t have told him. “Thought you two might be more than friends. The way he stayed near you.”
“We were friends. Not anymore. There are things about him I don’t like very much.”
Malcolm opened his mouth to say something but stopped, and his gaze focused on something behind me. Figuring the doctor was back, I glanced over my shoulder. Krit’s blue eyes were locked on me as he stood there at the door. Every emotion I had felt over the past two weeks was mirrored in his eyes.
I stood up and turned to him. “You’re here,” I said.
“I’d have been here sooner had someone pointed me in the right direction,” he replied, his eyes not wavering from mine.
“I . . .” Pausing, I turned back to Malcolm. “I need to go talk to him.”
Malcolm nodded. “Yeah, I would say you do.” With unease in his eyes, he glanced back at Krit.
I didn’t explain Krit or introduce them. I wasn’t even sure how to introduce Malcolm anymore. When he’d woken up after a successful surgery, I had been waiting on him. We hadn’t said much that day or the next. But then on the third day he had been better. And he’d wanted to talk. But it really hadn’t changed much. Other than I now knew the truth.
When I reached Krit, his hand shot out and grabbed mine. He laced his fingers through mine. “Hey,” he said in a deep voice.
I walked down the hall toward the elevator and then I led him back outside to Malcolm’s car. When I had sent Linc away I had been without a vehicle. I had walked the three miles to Malcolm’s house to get his car.
Krit didn’t ask questions; he just went with me. “Get in,” I said, motioning to the passenger seat.
When we were both inside, I cracked the windows so we could get some air. Then I turned to him. “You’re here,” I repeated. Because I wasn’t sure how he was here or why.
He took my hand again and held it up to his lips. There were dark circles under his beautiful eyes and his face looked thinner. “Eight hours ago Linc showed up at my door and told me where you were.”
“Eight?” It took ten hours driving time to get here.
“Eight,” he repeated.
“But it’s a ten-hour drive.”
He ran the hand he was holding along his cheek. “Not when a man is going after his woman, it’s not.”
My heart squeezed. His sweet words always managed to get to me. Hearing them and knowing he really meant them would be hard to walk away from. I’d had two weeks to think. Two weeks to realize that so many things I’d thought were true weren’t. But I’d also had two weeks to face the fact that I wouldn’t be a hindrance to a child having their parent.
“I’m sorry I left without telling you. But I didn’t expect to be gone so long. Then things happened, and I decided to stay. Me being here gave you time to adjust and for you and Britt to make plans.”
He scowled. “I’m not making plans with Britt. I’ll take care of the kid if it’s mine. Hell, she’s yet to prove to me she’s actually pregnant. But the only plans I need to make are with you. I’m empty without you, love. Completely fucking empty.”
&nb
sp; God, how did I tell this man no and walk away from him? He was so determined, and I loved him so much. Not taking what I wanted when it was right there in front of me was almost impossible. “I grew up thinking I had no one. No one wanted me or loved me because I thought I had no family. I accepted the fact that I was a burden on the Williamses. They gave me a roof over my head, and I should be thankful for that. They didn’t have to love me. I took verbal abuse from a hateful woman and believed every word she said. I thought I was evil and ugly. I thought I was unlovable because that’s all I’d been told. But the entire time I had been living with my father. The man who helped give me life. He let this happen to me. He didn’t show me love. He didn’t love me. I’m marked because of that, Krit. It will be something I carry with me my entire life. I won’t be the reason another child doesn’t have the love of a parent.” Tears were burning my eyes, and I pulled my hand out of his and held it tightly with my other hand.
“Blythe,” he said quietly. “Your father is a sad son of a bitch. He had you, and he didn’t love you like you deserve to be loved. I can’t comprehend how anyone couldn’t love you. Fuck, I can’t comprehend how anyone couldn’t want to cherish you and protect you. And I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive the man. So you’ve been warned. If you want to form a relationship with him, fine, but I don’t want to be near him. I’ll wait in the other room or outside in the car when you visit him,” He reached over and tilted my head up so I had to look at him. One lonely tear rolled down my face, and he caught it with his thumb. “I will love my kid. I can love my kid and be a dad and not love its mom. People do it all the time. It’s not a package deal. If the baby is mine, I will love it. I swear to you. I wouldn’t do to that baby what was done to you. But I will be a shell of a fucking man if I have to live the rest of my life without you. So, if you’re worried about me being a good dad, then know I need you in order to be whole.”
Another tear escaped, and then another. My vision got blurry as the tears filled my eyes and began streaming down my face. “I love you,” I choked out, unable to say anything else.
He jerked the car door open and jumped out, then took off running around the front of my car. He opened my car door, swinging it wide, then pulled me out of the car and into his arms as his body trembled.
I clung to him as he buried his face in my neck and held me. He didn’t say anything, but the slight trembling of his body was so out of place with him. “Say it again,” he said against my neck after several minutes.