minutes to recollect all my thoughts back. A fringe of thought whirled in my mind as I glanced at him with my eyes slightly opened.
“What?” I murmured as I kept my eyes slightly opened and fastened at Romeo. “W--What, Romeo?” I asked.
“What is wrong with you, Mark? What is bothering my little brother?”
“Nothing--”
“Come on, Mark, spit it out.” Romeo said.
“Spit what out?”
Romeo stood up from his couch and trod towards me after dropping his notebook on his couch. I saw him shake his head as he approached me, and his attitude proved that he was only curious to know why I acted strange. Or was he just looking for something to get him to tease me even more? And I could bet that bringing the subject again was no exception. He stood in front of me with both his hands tacked deep in his pajama pockets. He gestured for a second, but when he noticed that I wasn’t responding he shook his head again.
He gazed upon me as he stood above me. I was flopped on my couch with my arms laid on top of the arms of the couch--my legs had already been stretched to a sign tiredness--exhaustion--my eyes were no different, I had them opened slightly to a glimpse of Romeo who stood in front of me.
“Am waiting, Mark.” Romeo said.
“Ah--Ah” I bit my tongue when I saw Romeo tack out his hand from his pocket. “Ah--its kind of crazy, Romeo.”
“Than you?” Romeo lifted both his eyebrows in a sarcastic sort of way.
“Me?” I stretched properly on my couch. I noticed Romeo smile and concluded that it was a tease again. I shook my head and said silently “oh--forget it, Romeo. You will make fun of me anyway.”
Romeo lifted my arm from the couch and dropped it on my lap. I had my eyebrows frozen and my glance wide as I looked up at him, I wondered what he was about to do. For a second I saw him drop his smile and seat on top of the arm of the couch. He dropped his gaze at me and said in an odd tone. “We are here for each other, Mark.”
“But--” Before I could finish, Romeo cut me short with an uplifted hand.
“Sh, Mark, it is you and me, we have to learn to stand for each other. Accept that I can help you in whatever dilemma you may face. What is it? Go ahead, tell me, Mark, what is with the odd look? And right after we have taken a stroll you requested for.” Romeo continued, “you know you can count on me. Tell me, is it perhaps a math problem?”
“You see? Studies are all you care about.” My voice rattled as I looked up and caught Romeo’s gaze. “That is all you ever care about.”
“What else do you think I could predict would be troubling you other than studies? You and I both know that the rest mom and dad provides, and Aunt Monica too who sure does her level best if present. I am sure it isn’t money you are worried about--if it is, I would be glad to lend to you my card.” He paused and shook his head. “You see? Nothing money related. Am sure it is something else.”
“Yes, Romeo, it’s something else.”
“Like?” Romeo had both his eyebrows rose to its limit as he looked at me.
“You won’t understand, Romeo, you failed to an hour ago remember?” I said and stood up from the couch and walked towards a TV stand which stood leaning to a wall in the living room. I grabbed a remote control and faced back at Romeo. “You couldn’t.” I said and switched on the television screen.
“Come on, Mark!” Romeo exclaimed when he landed on his feet, “the suspense is killing me! Tell me already!”
“So that you can make fun of me?” I said.
“I won’t, I promise.”
For a moment I thought that Romeo was being sincere--the looks on his face had changed. He was someone I had never seen before, he had wore a smile of interest as he looked at me. His eyes slightly opened to glance at me--even if I was a couple meters away I saw the slight opening of his brown eyes and his mouth which had been opened like he wanted to sound another interest in the subject. He flopped back in the couch, I could bet his thoughts as well had flopped in oblivion. I did not know what else to think. . .Romeo looked sincere and interested to hear the matter which had until then bothered me. I took a deep breath and released it slowly, a quick adjust of just how stiff my thoughts had been, I loosened a little bit and glanced back at the television screen.
“Come on, Mark, what else do you want me to say to you to believe that I’m more than certain I can help you sort out the problem or whatever it is? Though dilemma you could conclude it to be, your brother is right here and ready to lend a hand and assist. And financially if you plan to upgrade your shelf, Mark. Now what has been bothering you?” Romeo paused and loosened his stiff on the couch. His smile had dropped then, he was looking forward that I explain and cure his curiosity. His voice dropped low as he stood up again, only then did I notice him standing close to me when I felt his cold touch on my shoulder-- “Mark, I’m your brother.”
“Of course I know that you’re my brother, Romeo, but you always make fun of me whenever I talk of anything. . .for that matter of fact, Romeo, every topic I raise is a teasing ticket. . .what makes me so sure that you won’t use this topic as well to tease me till late night?”
“A wise man once said, Mark, ‘you gotta spit it out to figure it out.’” Romeo snapped.
“Who ever said such words?” I lifted my eyebrows when I glanced at him--a glance I sharpened and swung to stare at Romeo who stood next to me. Which wise person would say that? I wondered.
“Romeo.” He snapped.
“I knew it.” I continued in an odd tone. “And a wise mine once said to me, ‘you gotta keep a secrete.’”
“Your call, Mark.” Romeo took his hand off my shoulder and pushed back. I saw him shake his head when I shot a surreptitious glance right at the corner of my eyes. I saw him shake his head and smirk to only if only he knew what it was that bothered me. He faced back and shook his head again and said “and by the way, Mark, adjust your looks, you certainly don’t look cute. But a devil lizard is all I can see. I am sure that whatever is bothering you must be one hell of a topic. I don’t want to know it, I wouldn’t want to change my looks into that scary African mascaraed figure. . .you look like an Indian voodoo doll, Mark.”
I gave a chocking laugh “what? Make up your mind, Romeo, devil lizard or Indian voodoo doll because the two look nothing in comparison you know that.” I chuckled along my words and gazed back upon the television screen. “Indian voodoo doll?” I chuckled.
“Laugh all you want, Mark, I hope that helps cure the dilemma you have created upon yourself. Pretend you’re all good and laugh.” Romeo snapped and reached for a soft drink in the refrigerator.
Whom am I even kidding? My thoughts whirled in my mind. My smile dropped suddenly had I turned around and looked at Romeo. The lights were starting to dim in front of my eyes. I paused to think and surely Romeo had been right all along, no laughter or good joke can cure any pending dilemma. . .I had tried and each cool dropping laughter only reminded me of the predicament (as I thought it to be) I was in.
I swallowed hard in my throat and dropped the remote control back on the TV stand. Romeo had been standing next to the refrigerator--he had a bottle of fairly cold orange juice which he had unmannerly stabbed between his lips. And an estimate flow could be prejudged as I could as well see his gullet fatten and thinned to a flow of the juice. Should I confess to him that I love a girl I just met? That I actually love a girl I just saw? My thoughts surged in my mind. I swallowed down my throat a few fresh air which had been circulating around my head. And a combustion in my stomach was felt. I softened my stiff and decided what I had to do, though risking a tease all day long.
“OK.” I snapped.
And I saw a look on Romeo’s face. He dropped the bottle of juice back in the refrigerator. It was certain by Romeo’s actions that he had been waiting for the moment I was to come clean and redeem him from a burn of curiosity. His eyes had popped open. He did not want to show any sign of desperation, instead he stood back and leaned on top of the refrigerator with his
elbow.
“You said?” He said. He had both his eyebrows lifted and his mouth then clamped tight as he waited for me to justify myself.
“I said, fine, Romeo, I will tell you what it is that you need to know.”
Romeo changed his looks and all into a lazy man’s attitude as he glanced at me. He leaned exhaustively on the refrigerator and narrowed his glance to face me. And his voice he had then thickened. “Oh, well--go ahead.” He said.
“When we were taking a stroll--” I paused to a break to notice Romeo stand upright and employ a zeal of interest in the subject. I continued in a high tone, “OK, Romeo, am going to ask you a question and I need your sincere response.”
Romeo murmured in response.
“On our way--” I said. Romeo cut me short.
“To where?”
“It wasn’t a question, Romeo. Listen to what I have to say. On our way from the house. . .when we had started for a stroll, did you notice anything?”
“Only something imparticular.” Romeo snapped.
“Stop being sarcastic, Romeo, and tell me if you saw a girl walk our way or not?” I bellowed.
“Yes I did.” Romeo snapped. “What about her?”
“Did you notice her beauty, Romeo, did you see just how she sparkled among the flower fence she had walked out? I bet you noticed just how dashing the girl is.” I injected a smile in my voice. “too late, Romeo!” I said.
“Wait a second, Mark, I think I am putting my fibers unto it. You know, the topic. And it is only making me feel constipated.” Romeo spoke like I had suspected. He acted sarcastic and yawned and walked away from the refrigerator. He trod towards me and chuckled when he looked again at me. “Snap the whole topic, Mark. Tell me what has been bothering you. Don’t tell me that her beauty as you put it is the reason for your odd looks.”
“No!” I continued, “I did not finish, Romeo.”
“Oh, well--another essay.” Romeo sighed and switched off the television screen. “Bore me.” He snapped.
“Her beauty just took me by surprise, Romeo.”
“Me too!” Romeo snapped.
“Really? It did?”
“No--” Romeo continued, “I just want to make the topic a little bit more interesting. If you ask me, I saw no beauty but just some female Homo sapean.”
I shook my head as irrational thoughts whirled in my mind. I cannot change Romeo’s sardonic ways of life. “I am in love, Romeo.”
“In what?” Romeo rose both his eyebrows as he caught my grin.
“In love.” I snapped again. “This is when you grow affection for an opposite sex. . .”
“I know that!”
“Oh--” I continued in a low tone, “ I thought that perhaps you wanted an explanation for that too, Romeo.”
“What has happened to my brother? In love?” Romeo chuckled. “I can’t believe this.”
“Believe what? That I’m in love?”
“No--” Romeo continued in an odd tone. “In love with someone you barely know.”
“Point of correction, Romeo, I don’t know the girl.” I snapped with a grin stack on my face. And before Romeo had put on an act of drill, I waved my hand. “A--A--A. I don’t know the girl. Yet.” I snapped.
“I never knew you were that stupid, Mark. OK, yes I know I have a stupid brother--but this deep? You need a psychologist, Mark, your screws have all gone loose. Love at fist sight?” Romeo sounded a chocking laugh. “Who does that?”
“I guess me.” I snapped. “ I need your help.”
“Mental help I can assist, Mark.” Romeo said.
“I’m serious, Romeo.”
“I did not say that you are joking, Mark. Did I? All I said was that you desperately need psychological help.” Romeo paused for emphasis, “you’ve disappointed me, Mark, love doesn’t just happen.”
“Like you know.” I sighed.
“Take my word for it, Mark, do what you do best--reading and studying. . .no girl would fall in love with a nerd like you. You’re everything but romantic, Mark, don’t go out there and embarrass yourself.”
“I will prove you wrong, Romeo.”
“Prove what?” Romeo chuckled, “that you are dumber than I think you are? That you can embarrass yourself to some girl you just saw and happen to have been infatuated by her looks? Tell me, Mark! Prove what?”
I looked at him and noticed something different. Romeo did know a thing or two about love although at most times he could scoop the topic by pretending ignorant. Something which Romeo hid from me was revealed that day. And my ignorance though was cured. I knew it, nobody can travel to different states around the world and say he has never fallen in love. I bet Romeo only wanted the best for me. But getting him to talk about his love life was for another day, I had a girl to approach. I still had zero courage. Knowing that Romeo too liked girls wouldn’t have helped me in my task, rather it made me quiver to the sense that my brother may had been heartbroken. What if I too follow that same fate? I tried hard to scoop every little ambivalent thought until I jumped to conclusion.
“I will be out for a couple of hours or so, Romeo.” I said.
“You are not going anywhere without my permission, smarty pants.”
“Yes, of course, Romeo.” I continued in a still voice, “grant me permission. Please may I leave your century for a couple of hours? Please.”
“No--my decision is final.”
“Am starving.”
“So--”
“Before I faint and die right here in front of you, allow me to go to Aunt Monica and check if she has prepared lunch.”
“She isn’t around.”
“She should be. . .allow me. . .and I promise I will be back as soon as I take my lunch, I will bring you some if you are interested. Are you going to let me starve just because I brought up a romantic subject? I bet it must had been painful, Romeo, you know, the heartbreak.”
“What are you talking about?” Romeo’s expression suddenly dropped.
“You know exactly what I am talking about, Romeo, that girl you used to date. The one you thought would make you happy. . .the one who eventually broke your heart to pieces. The girl I believe transformed you into a monster you’re now. Wow--she must had been pretty to have left that deep scar.”
“Shut up, Mark!” Romeo exclaimed with rage. “She never ditched me. I knew she and I would have never worked it out!”
“Oh, so that means you know a thing about love?”
“I know everything--” He said in a weak tone and dropped his gaze and attitude. “You can go. . .make sure you lock the door behind you.”
I didn’t mean to. I sighed when I looked at Romeo’s expression. He looked troubled and worse when I saw him flop stiffened on the couch. I couldn’t watch my brother cry--I couldn’t comfort him either. I reached for the door before he changed his attitude to a heartless Romeo I had known over the years.
I had never seen Romeo this upset--we could argue if we thought we had ambivalent thoughts about a particular subject, or matters of education, food and decisions whether or not to borrow money from Aunt Monica. Never did I know that a subject of love would upset him. His looks though upset looked weak, for the first time Romeo seemed lost in thoughts and harmless. I looked back and saw him. Until then, he had his head ducked. My glance had faded when I noticed this attitude on his face, but I certainly couldn’t walk back to comfort him.
My heart raced slowly, a pound per four seconds which barely scratched the walls of my rib cage. I griped on the metal handle of the door and adjusted my glance, I had my eyes opened wide again when I opened the door and glanced outside the house. A rich air rushed in the house through the open door. And I stopped so that the air could as well meet Romeo who sat in motion on the couch. I paused to look back and swallowed hard through my throat when I begun to have mixed feeling and thoughts that scampered frantically in my mind.
What if Romeo is right? And that loving someone isn’t as easy as I want it to be? I thought back
and brought to my face a picture of the girl I had seen. I took a deep breath and released it slowly. Let me stop comparing my life to that of Romeo, we are different after all, although I try to make comparisons. I live in a different world. Me studying my brains out definitely couldn’t change the one fact I know best; he is Romeo and I am Mark. Just like my skin colour is different from his, same is my and his way of judgment. Different.
What if I had just run out of the house? I am sure things couldn’t have been this way. My thoughts whirled in my mind as I kept in my glance an image of Romeo who sat until then depressed and mute to what I had said to him. I bobbed in my throat and walked out of the house. I was sure that if it sure was a heartbreak, it sure had been painful. I closed the door behind me and proceeded towards Aunt Monica’s house--not far from our house. A few steps and I had reached the house which Aunt Monica lived in. Aunt being too our closest neighbour.
A fringe of shadow had cast on my face when I walked on Aunt Monica’s veranda. The door was locked. . .no sign of Aunt Monica anywhere close that afternoon. I was disappointed and worried that Aunt Monica may had other plans ones which non was to come home for lunch. I tacked my hands in my pockets and warmed them as I thought otherwise of an option I had left was to maneuver back to the house. Again thinking that it would be best if I gave Romeo another hour alone--at least that would help him dilute the rage I had awakened. I paused to think, but standing on the veranda whole day was lame. I studied the house as I stood monument there. It was no different from ours, it too painted white and had rough plaster at the mid of its walls. Aunt Monica’s veranda too tiled just like ours. Her house was twin to ours. After all its dad’s design. And his house too.
I sighed the minute I realized it was rather useless staying a minute longer on the veranda. Until I heard a soft call from behind.
“How is my baby boy this afternoon?” It was Aunt Monica. She approached me with parcels in her hands. And her mouth she had already parted when she received my startled glance. “Did you miss me, dear?” She said.
“Afternoon, Aunt Monica.” I snapped and trod towards her, “let me assist.” I grabbed one large plastic bag stocked with food supplies and bowls of spices--I could tell just when I peeped from above the plastic bag. It could be concluded even by the looks