Chapter 4
Loyalty. Healer.
Shifter. Wildlands.
Lies. Truth.
The words swam inside of Valli’s head as the door closed behind Jean-Baptiste. The afternoon sun shone through the window at her back, illuminating one long strip of blue blanket.
Illuminating her right hand and Blade’s left. He’d pulled it from her once, but it had found its way back. And she was...strangely glad.
She stared at the two. One, pale and feminine with unpolished nails. And the other, large and rough, with thick fingers which, if called upon, could turn into claws.
Her heart sped up inside her chest.
She was in the Wildlands, a place she’d only ever heard of. A place that after she’d left the clinic, after she’d found out what had happened to her, only brought on nightmares. But had those things happened to her? Or was what the Healer had said true? Had the doctors abducted her mind, her memories?
She’d never felt exactly comfortable with the doctors at the clinic, true. Hell, she hadn’t felt comfortable taking blood from another either. But she’d been desperate.
And desperation had the ability to make one blind, deaf, and reckless.
Her eyes slowly lifted to meet the concerned black ones of the male she’d been told had assaulted her. It was strange. Her mind suggested that she fear him, but her heart and her guts...
“Do you want me to take you back home, Valli?” he asked.
She just stared at him. Emotional. Confused. His question wasn’t at all what she’d been expecting when she’d agreed to be alone with him. She’d assumed he’d not only try and get her to stay, but attempt to convince her to let Jean-Baptiste take down those barriers he believed the doctors at the clinic had placed in her mind.
“And if I say yes?” she challenged. Why wasn’t she yanking her hand away? Why wasn’t his touch revolting to her?
“Then I’ll take you.”
His full lips formed a gentle smile, which was really a feat because he was such a formidable man, such a strikingly handsome, intimidating, proud man.
“I would just ask...” he began.
Bitterness instantly rose within her. She knew it wouldn’t be that easy, that simple. In her experience, her past, men always wanted something for—
“That you let me be there for you if you need anything,” he said. “And for the cub. The child.”
She stilled. And something started to hurt behind her eyes. It wasn’t a headache or sinus pain, but the pressure was intense. “I don’t understand you,” she whispered, her throat tight. “I don’t understand any of this.”
A soft gust of wind came through the open window behind her. It ruffled his blond hair.
His eyes clung to hers, desperate to connect. “I was in the clinic too, Valli,” he said in an intimate voice. “But in a very different way. For a different purpose.”
“What do you mean?” she asked, confused.
“Not to get well, like you.” His eyes shuttered with pain. “But to be used for my blood. Many of us were taken from here, from our homes, our families, to be caged, beaten, drugged and bled.”
It was as if the air in the room had suddenly been sucked out. Valli stared at the man, wordless, her pulse starting to pound in her head.
“To them,” he continued. “Me and my kind aren’t worthy of respect or care. To them, we have no choice or freedom. To them, we’re animals…like you said...”
“Stop!” Valli shook her head. This was a nightmare. All of it. She’d just wanted to live. She hadn’t thought… Christ, she hadn’t cared about who might suffer for that gift. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry.”
Blade cursed and squeezed her hand, and this time her heart took over and she squeezed back.
“You don’t have to be sorry,” he said. “According to what they put in your mind, what they forced you to believe—I am an animal.”
Tears threatened and her heart ached terribly. “I want the best for this baby and for myself. I just want the truth.” Her eyes implored him. “How do I know what that is? How do I know it’s not more lies?”
“Put my hand on your abdomen.”
“What? Why?”
“Please,” he said gently.
Valli hesitated. Holding his hand was one thing... But she didn’t like men touching her.
Her eyes met his and the warmth, the hope in them spoke to every inch of her.
She lifted his hand and gently placed it on her belly. She was only two months along, barely showing, just a slight curve.
She watched as Blade’s eyes closed, his nostrils flared, and a soft growl exited his throat. The sound should’ve made her nervous, made her push his hand from her stomach, but it had the opposite effect. It was the most comforting feeling she had ever known.
And then it happened.
Beneath his hand, and deep within her.
The slightest movement. A tiny ripple of feeling.
His eyes opened and locked with hers, hot and blissful.
“Our cub knows me,” he rasped.
Tears broke from her eyes then. She couldn’t contain them. Didn’t want to.
He eased his hand from her belly and reached up, cupping her face, his thumb caressing her cheek. “Valli, I’ve never touched you until last night. But I was in the room with you. They had me in there, drugged and tied down. I was forced to watch as they put my seed inside of you. I couldn’t move, couldn’t stop them, couldn’t protect you—” His voice cracked and he pulled his hand from her and stood up. As she watched, he turned and gave her his back. “It will be my greatest shame for as long as I live.”
Tears snaked down Valli’s cheeks. She’d never felt this raw. She’d never felt such a desperate need to believe someone.
He started for the door. “I’m going to tell Baptiste that I’m taking you home.”
“No!” she shouted, her heart pounding so hard she was afraid her ribs were bruising.
Blade froze, his hand on the door handle.
“Bring him back in here,” she said, swiping at her wet cheeks. “Tell him I want his help. I want to see what happened. I want the truth. And as far as going home is concerned...”
Her voice broke as he turned to look at her. She’d never seen a man so conflicted.
Or so ruthlessly handsome.
“I don’t know where I belong, but this child clearly believes it’s home.”
Chapter 5
Jean-Baptiste, the Pantera Healer, was tall, dark and terrifying. In fact, he looked like he should be wearing leather and carrying a sawed-off shotgun, not a lab coat and stethoscope. But Valli was starting to understand this race of shifters. They were imposing and possessive, but like Blade, they were also kind and compassionate—and protective.
Tattoos and bulging muscles, the Healer moved to stand next to the bed, a gentle concern radiating in his amber eyes.
“Are you ready?”
Her heart leapt into her throat, but she gave a small nod. “Yes.”
He reached for a wooden chair and set it next to the headboard. Then, with a quick glance toward Blade, who was sitting close beside her on the mattress, he placed his hand on her forehead. It was warm and soothing and...
Untamed?
No, that wasn’t her. It was Blade’s raw emotion. She sensed him stiffen beside her, but before she could ask him what was wrong, she felt a deep sense of peace flow through her.
Magic?
Who knew?
But it felt like it.
“I want you to close your eyes,” Jean-Baptiste requested softly. “Tell me what you remember about your time in the clinic.”
Instinctively, Valli reached out to grab Blade’s hand. She’d tried so hard not to think about the clinic or what had happened there. What she’d allowed to happen. What she’d taken that didn’t belong to her. Because it was the only way she could face the future once she’d realized she was pregnant.
Now she needed Blade’s stre
ngth if she was going to be forced to relive the horror she now one hundred percent believed was a part of her past. And her child’s conception.
As if sensing her unease, Blade moved so his hip was pressed against her thigh, his fingers squeezing her hand.
It was an unspoken promise that he was there to protect her. And he wasn’t going anywhere.
Slowly closing her eyes, Valli allowed the Healer’s magic to fully take hold. She felt a strange sensation behind her eyes, as if her mind was a safe and a soft key was being gently thrust into the lock.
“Oh God…I’m growing weaker and weaker,” she began. “It started small. Just a shakiness in my legs when I finished my evening shift. And then…” She swallowed tightly. “I started dropping things, trays, cups. I managed to hide it for a while. As long as I could. But eventually Fran started to notice. She was great… Made me take time off. But I didn’t get better. I just slept and slept.” Her voice broke slightly. “I could barely climb out of bed in the morning.”
A rush of soothing warmth moved from her forehead downward, and Blade started to massage her hand.
“Dr. Richards had nothing for me, no diagnosis for this strange, horrible, debilitating illness. I was scared and started to get really depressed. I didn’t feel like I had anyone to turn to. Then one day, the doctor told me he knew about this place, this clinic. He felt it could help me. I hoped he’d take me there himself, but he said he was too busy with all of his patients. I didn’t want to inconvenience Fran by asking her, not with having only one waitress left at the diner. So I dragged myself on that bus to Benson’s clinic in Baton Rouge.”
Valli could hear her voice shaking, but couldn’t seem to stop it. It was just so vivid, the exhaustion, the fear, and then that burst of hope she’d felt when she’d first arrived.
“It all seemed so high tech there,” she continued. “And the staff made me feel like I was going to be okay, when I just felt like I was on the edge of death. Then…” Valli shook her head against what came next. “The doctors told me the only cure to what I had was a transfusion of Pantera blood.”
For one brief second, the soothing warmth at her temples cooled, then quickly returned.
“I didn’t know,” she uttered, pained. “I didn’t even really believe in the Pantera. I thought it was a hoax, a conspiracy theory. But honestly, in that moment, I didn’t care. I was on the verge of death and I would’ve done anything to live.”
Blade squeezed her hand reassuringly.
“The effect was immediate,” she went on, her tone almost euphoric to her own ears. “It was amazing. I was so grateful. I wanted to believe that the clinic was a gift from the heavens. I wanted to ignore the warning bells clanging inside of my head. I wanted to forget they’d used another’s blood on me. And that it belonged to an animal. And...” At last her words faltered.
Jean-Baptiste’s hand left her forehead and brushed down her cheek, sending a warm sensation of peace through her body.
“Can you tell me about the day you believe you were attacked by Blade?” Jean-Baptiste urged in gentle tones.
This time, it was Valli’s turn to squeeze Blade’s hand tighter. Despite the Healer’s magic, she could feel her muscles tensing and her stomach twisting as she tried to struggle past the darkness of her heart and the dark holes in her memory.
“I knew I was scheduled for another transfusion,” she said in a tentative voice, the curtain of her mind starting to lift. “I asked the nurse why I had to have another one since I was feeling so much better.”
“Were you in a private room for the transfusion?” the Healer asked.
Even though her insides were humming with nerves, Valli forced herself to concentrate on what her mind was showing her, the fragments, trying to piece them together.
She’d had breakfast. Biscuits and gravy. She’d put too much salt on the gravy. Then she’d wanted to take a walk through the nearby park. It’d been so long since she’d felt strong enough to go out on her own that she was anxious to enjoy a short stroll.
Heat surged through her as her mind suddenly opened and she saw...and remembered.
Oh God…
Four lab techs in white uniforms had arrived in her room, along with the nurse.
“They put me on a gurney and wheeled me to the lab,” she whispered.
“Did they give you anything?”
She frowned at Jean-Baptiste’s question. “What do you mean?”
“Any drugs? Injections of any kind,” he clarified.
“No. I don’t think so.” She’d been surprised during her first days at the clinic. She’d assumed that she would be put on a wide range of pills in an attempt to find a cure for her mysterious illness. But the doctors had immediately prescribed the transfusions.
Jean-Baptiste released another pulse of warmth through his hand, and her breath caught in her throat. “Wait.” Her vision cleared. She could suddenly see it, being wheeled down the green-tiled corridor with a needle stuck in her arm. “I had an IV.”
“Was that unusual?”
“They gave me IVs during the actual transfusions, but never before or after,” she said. “But this one had a clear fluid in it.”
Fear snaked down Valli’s spine and she shivered. It was all so clear now. Like a vault opening... She could see everything from every angle. Whereas before, after she’d left the clinic and up until a few minutes ago, it was like...pictures in a picture frame.
She could remember being troubled by the changes to her normal routine, as if she’d had a premonition that something sinister was about to happen.
“So they took you to the lab.” Jean-Baptiste kept his voice soothing. No doubt he sensed the panic that was beginning to nibble at the edge of her mind. “Were you the only patient in there?”
She licked her lips. She didn’t want to see it...or know it. But she had to. The past can’t hurt you, she reassured herself. Not anymore.
Forcing herself to take a deep breath, she concentrated on the memory, of being wheeled into the lab, letting it unfold like scenes from a movie.
It’d been cold in the room and she’d shivered. She’d been in a hospital gown that was too thin to keep her warm, and her requests for a blanket had been ignored.
They’d situated her in the middle of the room, beneath a light that had been blinding in its intensity. She’d turned her head to avoid the brightness and realized that there was a gurney just a foot away from her.
“There was someone next to me,” she rasped, her heart racing. “I assumed it was another patient who was there for a transfusion.”
Jean-Baptiste continued to lightly stroke his fingers over her face. “Did you see who it was?”
Her pulse pounded in her throat as she suddenly relived the moment. No longer was it in the past, safe, behind her. It was happening now. “I’m starting to feel the effects of whatever they’ve given me. It’s gentle, a sedative, maybe.” She saw the gurney and the outline of a large man. He turned his head. Oh God… The stark beauty of Blade’s face.
She gasped.
It burned into her brain as she stared at him. Every line and curve. And those dark eyes... They held hers. So angry, so pained...desperate…
“Blade,” she breathed.
“He’s on the gurney?” Jean-Baptiste demanded even as Blade’s fingers gripped her hand with a fierce strength.
“Yes,” she said.
“Is he restrained?” the Healer asked.
Valli paused. It’d always been easy to remember Blade’s face, as if it’d been such a life-altering sight that nothing could erase it. But the rest of the memories surrounding him had been shattered and shrouded in darkness. Now she felt a layer of perspiration dampen her forehead as she strained to piece her past back together.
Slowly she could make out the details of Blade’s large, powerful body. He was huge, tall and broad, and wearing a hospital gown that matched hers. He was lying on his back. His arms were stretched over his head and his legs were parted.
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“Oh.” She released a shocked breath. “I can see the iron cuffs on his wrists and ankles.”
“Malachite,” Blade muttered.
She ignored his interruption, still lost in the memories that were coming faster and faster.
“He’s trying to escape,” she said, now able to clearly remember his body undulating like a wild animal that had been caught in a trap. “He’s trying to get to me...” Her voice broke again and she felt tears behind her eyes. “He’s trying to help me.”
How had she forgotten his low grunts of pain as he’d fought against his restraints?
Had she just confused his furious attempts to free himself with the doctor’s claim that she’d been attacked by an animal and raped?
Oh, God…
Jean-Baptiste’s hand moved to the back of her head, pressing against the dull ache that she hadn’t even realized was beginning to form.
“Keep going, Valli,” he urged. “It’s okay.”
Blade was struggling, growling, fighting. And she felt…confused. She wanted to speak, but a fine mist was starting to cloud her eyes. It wasn’t the darkness that had prevented her from remembering what she saw now, but a physical reaction to something that had been done to her.
“Things are starting to get really fuzzy. Heavier sedation, maybe?” She hesitated, still lost in the past. She’d been trying to focus on the man restrained in the gurney next to her when the sound of the door to the lab opening and closing had her turning her head. Groggily, she saw a familiar man and woman walking toward her. “I can see my doctors coming toward me,” she said, suddenly making a sound of distress as the lab techs reached down to grab her.
“Valli.” Blade leaned toward her, his breath brushing her cheek. “I’m here. No one can hurt you. I’ll never let anyone hurt you again.”
Jean-Baptiste also moved closer, his hand on her head. Any other time she would have felt like she was being smothered by the sizzling power that was pressing against her. Now she ached, silently begged, for the comforting heat.
“What’s happening?” Jean-Baptiste demanded.
Valli started to shake her head. Over and over. “No, no, no...”