‘You mean I shouldn’t be thinking about the woman’s funeral before she’s cold?’
Kazunari shook his head. ‘No, I just don’t think it’s your place to be worried.’
‘Why not?’
‘I know you proposed to her. But she hasn’t responded yet, has she? That kind of leaves you, well…’ Kazunari paused a moment, trying to find the right words. ‘You’re strangers, really. What I’m saying is, the death of someone’s mother shouldn’t have the General Manager of Shinozuka Pharmaceuticals running around learning about funeral etiquette.’
Yasuharu leaned back in his chair and grinned at the ceiling while Kazunari spoke. Eventually, he looked back down and said, ‘“Strangers” might be going a bit far. She might not have said “yes”, but she hasn’t said “no” either. If there wasn’t a chance, she would have turned me down on the spot.’
‘If there was a chance, she would’ve already given you her answer.’
Yasuharu shook his head again. ‘You only say that because A: you’re young, and B: you’re not married. She and I know what it’s like to be married. That’s why, when the chance comes to make a household again you take things slow, cautious. Even more so when one of you is a widower.’
‘I suppose that’s true.’
‘Also,’ Yasuharu added, raising a finger, ‘if we were strangers, she wouldn’t have called me to tell me about her mother in the first place. I think the fact that she turned to me when the going got rough is an answer in and of itself.’
Which explained Yasuharu’s chipper mood, Kazunari thought.
‘Anyway, I think it’s proper when a friend is going through a hard time to reach out and lend a hand. Not just as a member of society, but as a human being.’
‘So that’s what this is? She’s going through a hard time? That’s why she called you?’
‘Well, you know how she is, tough and all. She wasn’t talking through tears or asking me to come save her or anything like that. She just called to let me know what was happening. Still, I don’t think it’s a stretch of imagination to say this is a hard time for her. Osaka might be her home, but she doesn’t know anyone down there any more. If her mother dies, then on top of the grieving she’ll have to deal with all the funeral arrangements by herself. That might even give the great Yukiho Karasawa cause to panic.’
‘See, that’s the thing with funerals,’ Kazunari said, looking his cousin in the eye. ‘They’re always being arranged by people who are grieving – that’s why they have them all programmed out in advance for you. All she has to do is make a single call to the funeral home. After that, she can just leave it to the pros. All she has to do is follow their instructions, sign on the dotted line, and pay some money. Then, if she gets a free moment, she can collapse in front of the photo of the deceased and cry if she wants to. It’s really not a big deal.’
Yasuharu drew his eyebrows together in exasperation. ‘Well, that’s a little cold. I thought you were supposed to be looking out for Yukiho, given that she was from your alma mater.’
‘Her school just took dance lessons with my club, that’s all.’
‘Details, details. Regardless, you are the one who introduced her to me.’ Yasuharu gave Kazunari a long stare.
Kazunari suppressed the urge to tell Yasuharu how much he regretted that now.
‘Anyway,’ Yasuharu said, crossing his legs and leaning back on the sofa, ‘maybe this isn’t the sort of thing one should really be preparing for in advance, but should something happen to her mother I thought I’d like to be ready. Of course, like you say, there is my position to think about. I’m not sure I’ll even be able to go down to Osaka if her mother dies. Which is why I wanted to talk.’ He pointed a finger slowly at Kazunari’s face. ‘Depending on the circumstances, I was hoping you might be able to go down to Osaka for me. You know the area. And Yukiho knows you.’
Kazunari had begun to frown before Yasuharu was finished. ‘Don’t make me do that, Yasuharu.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because it’s mixing company business with private business. People will say I’m your personal secretary.’
‘Supporting a member of the board is part of Planning and Management’s official duties,’ Yasuharu said, glaring.
‘What does this have to do with Shinozuka Pharmaceuticals?’
‘Who cares? What matters is who’s asking you,’ Yasuharu said severely, then he grinned and looked up at Kazunari. ‘Yes?’
Kazunari sighed. So now he likes being the boss.
Back at his desk, Kazunari picked up the phone. With his other hand, he opened his desk drawer and took out his schedule planner. He flipped to the addresses in the back and opened it to the first page, finding the entry for Imaeda. He pressed the buttons on the phone, checking to make sure the number was right, held the receiver up to his ear, and waited. The phone rang a couple of times. He began to tap his desk with the fingers of his right hand.
After the phone had rung six times, it stopped. Not again, Kazunari thought. Imaeda’s answering machine was set to pick up after six rings.
From the other side of the line, he heard the computerised voice of a woman who sounded like she had a stuffy nose telling him that no one was home, and to please leave a name, number, and short message —
Kazunari hung up before he heard the beep.
He cursed under his breath, loud enough that the female employee sitting across from him jerked upright in her chair a little.
What’s up, Imaeda?
The last time he had met the private eye was mid-August. It had already been more than a month since then and he hadn’t heard a thing. Kazunari had called several times, but Imaeda was always out. He’d even left two messages, telling him to call, apparently in vain.
Kazunari assumed he must be on vacation. It hardly seemed like the way to run a private detective business to him. In fact, he had specifically requested frequent reports when he first hired him.
Or, Kazunari thought, maybe he’s followed Yukiho Karasawa to Osaka. It was certainly a possibility, though he would have expected a report all the same.
The paper sitting at the edge of the desk caught Kazunari’s eye. It was the minutes from the meeting two days earlier. The meeting had been about a computer system that automatically determined the chemical compositions of substances. It was research Kazunari had a personal interest in, but this time he only mechanically scanned the page. His head was full of Yasuharu and Yukiho Karasawa.
Kazunari truly regretted having taken Yasuharu to her shop. He hadn’t even really thought it through when he got the invitation from Makoto Takamiya. That had been a mistake.
Kazunari vividly remembered the time when Yasuharu first met Yukiho. There’d been nothing about him to suggest he had fallen in love. In fact, he seemed to be in a bad mood. Even when Yukiho talked to him, he only offered gruff responses. It was only later that Kazunari realised that was exactly how Yasuharu acted when he was falling head over heels.
Not that there was anything wrong with him falling in love – it was a good thing, to be sure. There was no reason why a forty-five-year-old man with two children had to live the rest of his life single. Get remarried, Kazunari thought, but to the right person.
Yukiho was not the right person.
He had never been able to put his finger on exactly why he didn’t like Yukiho Karasawa. As he’d told the private eye, the mysterious way money seemed to move around her wherever she went was unsettling, yet even that felt like an excuse his rational mind had made up after the fact. In reality, it probably all went back to that first impression he had when they met at dance lessons.
Kazunari didn’t want them getting married, but he would need a very good reason to convince Yasuharu. He could tell him that she was dangerous, that he should give her up, but he was sure he could talk himself hoarse and never win that way. No, that would probably just piss Yasuharu off.
Which was why Kazunari really needed Imaeda to dig up some dirt. He nee
ded someone to pull back the curtains and reveal Yukiho for what she really was – everything hung on that.
Yasuharu’s request flitted through the back of his mind. He might just have to go down to Osaka to meet Yukiho, support her in her time of need.
What a joke, Kazunari thought to himself. He remembered another thing: Imaeda’s theory that Yukiho didn’t love Yasuharu because she already loved someone else.
Me.
‘What a joke.’ This time Kazunari said the words out loud, keeping his voice hushed in the quiet office.
‘I’ll be away for two or three days,’ Akiyoshi said as Noriko stepped out of the bath one evening.
‘Where are you going?’
‘Research.’
She stopped by the dresser. ‘You’re not going to tell me where?’
He hesitated a moment before mumbling, ‘Osaka.’
‘All the way to Osaka?’
‘I’m leaving tomorrow.’
‘Wait.’ Noriko stepped away from the dresser and sat facing him. ‘I want to go too.’
‘Don’t you have work?’
‘I’ll take a few days off. I haven’t taken a single vacation day since last year.’
‘This isn’t a vacation.’
‘I know. I won’t get in the way. I’ll do some sightseeing while you work.’
Akiyoshi furrowed his brow for a moment. Noriko could tell he was taken aback by her request. Normally she’d never be so forward, but when she heard him say Osaka, she knew she had to go. For one, she wanted to see where he was from. He’d never told her the first thing about his family and this was her chance to find out more.
‘This isn’t some kind of tour. My schedule could change at a moment’s notice. To be honest, I’m not even sure when I’ll be able to come back.’
‘Not a problem,’ Noriko said.
‘Fine,’ he relented at last. ‘Do what you want.’
Noriko felt an almost painful stirring in her chest as he turned back to the computer. This was a big step. There would be no going back after this. Not that doing nothing was an option. If they kept on like this, they’d fall apart before too long, and she didn’t want that. Despite the fact that they’d only been together two months, Noriko was in deep.
They had started living together when Akiyoshi quit his job. She never got a straight answer from him as to why he left. He just said he felt like taking a break.
‘I’ve got savings, so I won’t starve, not for a while at least. I’ll have time to think about what’s next.’
She knew him well enough to know that he wasn’t the type to lean on anyone for help. Still it made her sad that he wouldn’t discuss these decisions with her, let alone ask for her advice. She wanted to be more than that: not just part of his life, a necessary part.
Living together had been Noriko’s suggestion. Akiyoshi hadn’t seemed that enthusiastic about it at first, but it had only taken him a week to change his mind. His worldly possessions consisted of a computer and six cardboard boxes.
So, in a small way, Noriko had realised her dream. She was living with the man she loved. He was there beside her when she woke up in the morning. It was a happiness she wanted to last. Marriage wasn’t an issue, she had decided. Not that she didn’t want to get married – that would have been fine. But she didn’t want to ruin what they had by pushing it, either.
Yet it wasn’t long before unease began tugging at the back of her mind. It started one night, when they were having sex. They had been going at it as usual on her thin futon. Noriko climaxed twice before Akiyoshi let himself come – their usual pattern.
They’d never used condoms, not even the first time. He would thrust hard, pull out, and ejaculate into a wad of tissue paper. Noriko had never noticed anything unusual about it, until that night. She wasn’t even sure what had tickled her suspicions. Maybe it was the look she saw in his eyes before he rolled over on his side.
She reached out to touch him between the legs.
‘Knock it off,’ he said, twisting away until his back was turned.
Noriko sat up and looked at him. ‘You didn’t come, did you.’
He didn’t say anything. His expression didn’t change. He just closed his eyes.
Noriko got off the futon and reached for the wastebasket.
‘I said knock it off!’
She looked around to see him sitting up, glaring at her.
‘Why do you want to do that for?’ he growled.
‘Why didn’t you come?’
He scratched his chin and didn’t reply.
‘How long has this been going on?’
He didn’t answer.
Noriko gasped. ‘Wait. You never came?’
‘What does it matter?’
‘It matters!’ she said, sitting down, nude, in front of him. ‘It matters a lot! Is it me? You can’t come with me?’
‘No. Nothing like that.’
‘Then what is it like? Tell me.’
Noriko felt the heat rise to her face. She was being made a fool of. It was wretched, and sad, and horribly embarrassing all at the same time. When she thought of all the times they’d had sex, it made her want to cover her face with her hands.
Akiyoshi sighed and shook his head. ‘It has nothing to do with you.’
‘What is it, then?’
‘I’ve never been able to come inside a woman. I can’t even if I want to.’
‘Is that something like erectile dysfunction?’
‘See, that’s the problem with you medical people. You want to classify everything into a disease.’
‘I don’t believe it. You better not be joking about this.’
‘No joke.’
‘Have you seen a doctor?’
‘Nope.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because it’s not something I feel like I need to fix.’
‘Of course you have to fix it!’
‘Look, it’s my dick and I’m fine with it. So leave me alone.’ He turned his back to her again.
She wondered at the time if that was it and they would never have sex again, but three days later he came on to her again. She let him do what he wanted. If he can’t come, neither will I, she thought, but the flesh wasn’t so disciplined. After the release, there was no lingering glow, no sweet sleep, just embarrassment and sadness.
‘It’s OK,’ he whispered, his voice unusually gentle as he stroked her hair.
Once he’d asked her if she could use her hands and her mouth. She did as she was told, curling her tongue and working her fingers rhythmically. But although he got an erection, there were no indications he would ever orgasm.
‘That’s enough. Stop. I’m sorry,’ he said.
‘No, I’m sorry.’
He shook his head. ‘It’s not your fault.’
‘Why isn’t it working?’
Akiyoshi didn’t respond. He looked down at her hand, still gripping his penis. Eventually, he said, ‘They’re small, aren’t they.’