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With those final orders the meeting dispersed. I watched as Talbott walked to Lilly and pulled her into his arms. Kiran whispered soothing words into Eden’s ear and even Seraphina walked over to give Sebastian a kiss and a hug goodbye, even if there was a weird, strange tension between the two of them.
I stood awkwardly in the middle while Angelica discussed travel routes with Silas and Gabriel. I stood alone. And for the first time in my life, standing alone felt lonely.
Chapter Nine
I woke with a start, fast and quick. My heart pounded, my ear drums rang and a thick sheen of sweat plastered my hair to my neck. I reached out into the thick folds of blankets on my massive king-size bed and felt around until I was sure I was alone. Until I was sure I was safe.
I didn’t scare easily. I wasn’t scared ever. No, I couldn’t remember a moment in my life when I had felt nothing but fear. Sure, there were those moments when fear was stronger than any other emotion, but always coupled with it was confidence, or determination or anger. This fear stood alone and consumed me.
And seriously, a nightmare?
But it was so real. It was so…. they were gone. The details, the events, the haunting dreamscape that tortured me with chills and boiling blood at the same time; the visions that had me hunting down a sword and a gun and setting out for vengeful retribution. They slipped away, back into the abyss of my subconscious.
And I wished they would stay there.
But mine was the kind of life where nightmares became reality, where I had to suffer against the brutal torture of a tyrant, where I watched and mourned as friends died, where my sister’s life was exchanged for mine and my parents and grandfather were murdered in front of me. My life was the stuff of nightmares. And three years of peace meant nothing when war was on the horizon.
I drew another stuttering breath and ran my hands through my damp and matted hair. I forced myself to breathe deep and even breaths and my heart to slow its rapid rhythm. Whatever was left behind when I opened my eyes would make itself known soon enough; there was no use worrying over it now.
The sun shone through my long windows and I glanced over at the clock, surprised by how late I slept. Usually I was up before the sun, and I enjoyed the quiet peacefulness of a castle not yet awake, before everyone started demanding my attention and required me to make menial decisions.
I stumbled to the shower, stepped out of my boxers and into the hot water I started magically from across the room. I needed a steamy bathroom before I even crossed the threshold in order to wake up.
After cleaning up, shaving and pulling my hair back and away from my face, I dressed for the day in old jeans and a t-shirt, slipping the crown on my head before I left the room. I remembered Lucan in tailored, designer suits and ties every day he was King. Even Amory adhered to a certain snobbish dress code that exemplified a well-kempt, wealthy and responsible man.
Jeans and a worn red t-shirt hardly screamed leader of the wealthiest nation on Earth, but it was also comfortable and practical, not to mention a reminder of my youth and inexperience for any Immortal that approached me. Not that I was trying to sway their next vote for a Democracy by proving I wasn’t up to task for the crown. But…. ok, maybe I was trying to do that a little bit.
Plus, I was King after all. I could wear whatever I wanted.
I found Eden and Kiran in the dining hall, surrounded by all of our friends, minus Silas, Gabriel and Sebastian who left very early this morning. My intention was to see them off and offer some last minute directions, but my subconscious decided to hold me hostage in my own personal version of Nightmare on Elm Street. Besides, they were seasoned veterans at this and knew what they were doing. And if they didn’t check in with me in a few hours I would call them and get a status report from them, probably just in time for a “fulfill your destiny” speech from Gabriel.
I stood leaning against the doorjamb for a few beats watching all of the activity at the breakfast table. Usually I spent breakfast alone, so I could collect my thoughts before I faced the throne room and all the duties that I faced on a daily basis. If I could help it, I did my best to avoid even uttering a sentence until I was permanently rooted in the seat I would spend all day in. This morning would be different and I didn’t find myself minding.
Eden and Kiran sat together giving each other the googly eyes I had been positive would wear off over at least a year ago. Talbott and Lilly were no better, and as much as it made my stomach clench in disapproval, I was afraid Jericho and Amelia were doing the same thing. Seraphina was the only remaining loner and I realized that if Sebastian sat here she would be mimicking the love struck motions too. The whole thing was like a kick in the shin.
Damn, when did everyone go and get paired up and leave me behind?
Not that I wanted to be paired up.
Especially now, when I would have to leave at a moment’s notice and possibly be gone and in dangerous situations for months at a time….
No girl would want to be left behind. Plus, when I finally decided I would let a girl into my world, I would be a freaking fantastic boyfriend and demand that she stay home so she wouldn’t get hurt in the crossfire, of some life or death situation.
Also, why was I getting so excited about the prospect of a near-future fight?
There might be something wrong with my brain.
Just a thought.
“How did you sleep last night, E?” I asked as I took my place at Eden’s right across from Kiran and directly next to Seraphina.
Seraphina might be high maintenance and I would never envy Sebastian for putting up with all her crazy, but the girl smelled good. I leaned into grab a croissant across the table and inhaled thinking I myself might have a good mixture of crazy in me.
Or maybe I was way lonelier than I gave myself credit for.
“Not well,” she admitted, turning her concerned black eyes on me.
“Do you remember anything?” I asked, knowing without a doubt we had the same dream.
“Not a thing,” she answered and I nodded so that she knew it was the same for me.
“Uh, this is getting gross,” Seraphina cut a disgustingly suggestive glance at me and then at Kiran making Eden burst into laughter.
“There is something so wrong with you, Sera!” Eden threw a piece of bacon making Seraphina squeal and toss it at Amelia.
Amelia deflected with a bagel and then eyed the offensive piece of meat like it was a snake.
“Ugh you know meat grosses me out,” she complained in a teasing voice.
“I know you need to get over it and start dating,” Seraphina countered and my ears perked up while I took a sip of steaming hot coffee.
“That is so not the meat I was referring to,” Amelia laughed and I found myself choking on my coffee.
“You alright there, Avalon?” Seraphina asked, ignoring Amelia’s attempts at innocent.
“Just fine,” I wheezed. I stared Amelia down, waiting for her to apologize for or shy away from Seraphina’s brashness.
“Relax Avalon, it’s not your meat I’m interested in,” Amelia said coyly from across the table.
This time the coffee went straight through my nose. There was no stopping the near death experience.
“Ugh, so gross,” Eden complained. “Siblings, remember? No more talking about Avalon’s meat. ”
“Agreed,” Kiran, Talbott and Jericho mumbled in unison.
“Avalon,” Lilly spoke up pulling my attention from Amelia’s eyes that stared me down with the challenge to break the steel gaze first. “Talbott and I decided on a date. Do you want us to run it by you?”
“I’m sure whatever you’ve picked out will be fine, Lills, you’re in charge of my calendar anyway. Just don’t double book me,” I answered with a playful wink, losing to Amelia in the staring contest of the century, I gave Lilly my attention.
“We were thinking April, when all the trees are budding,” she ven
tured softly.
Seraphina’s loud gasp had me chuckling, girls were so funny. “Oh I love that!” Seraphina squealed. “What do you want your dress to look like?”
Lilly’s face lit up for the first time I had ever witnessed while the attention was on her. Instead of blushing tomato red and shying away from the spotlight, she rushed into a detailed description about buttons and lace and all-girl-stuff in general.
“Who are you going to have stand up with you?” Seraphina asked next, no doubt wondering what kind of dress she would get to wear too.
“Um, well, you girls, if you want to,” Lilly gave each girl at the table a tentative look as if she was afraid they would say no.
I ate my chocolate croissant and sat back to enjoy the show. Girls talking about girl things were always so entertaining. Not that I understood half of what was being said, but still they got excited over the smallest, most insignificant stuff.
“Of course we will!” Seraphina continued to talk in her high pitched squeal and I started to reconsider my previously feelings of goodwill and entertainment. “Eden will of course be your matron of honor, unless that sounds too dowdy for you, then I would gladly step in as your maid of honor. ”
“No, that’s-“ Lilly started, but Seraphina was already moving on to something else.
“Will you have any other girls besides us? What about Talbott? Who are your groomsmen?” Seraphina demanded.
“Uh, well Kiran, Jericho, Sebastian and Avalon,” Talbott answered obediently.
“So who will be your fourth girl, Lilly?” Eden asked evenly, drawing the excitement level down a few notches. Thankfully.
“I think I’ll ask Sylvia. I mean, do you think she would say yes?” Lilly asked, her blush brightening.
“She would love it if you asked her,” Eden gushed and I had to agree. The last time I talked to Syl she was dying to visit but didn’t have an excuse to leave the hospital. Now she had an excuse.
“That’s perfect Lilly,” Seraphina confirmed. “And then Amelia doesn’t have to dance with Avalon again. ”
“Seraphina, don’t-“ Amelia started giving Seraphina a deathly glare at levels of hatred even I hadn’t received yet.
“Again?” I asked casually, but my blood had prickled to life and Seraphina had all of my attention. “Why did you say again?”
“I told you he wouldn’t remember,” Amelia muttered, her cheeks now stained the sexiest color of red. She looked down intently at her breakfast, clearly afraid to meet my eyes.
“You left her standing in the middle of the dance floor, jackass,” Seraphina explained, but it didn’t really explain anything.
“Our wedding…. the reception…. the dancing?” Kiran prompted, but if truth be told their wedding was a vague memory in my head. I had been trying to handle being the interim King while Kiran and Eden prepared to get married. At the time we didn’t want to associate Kiran at all with the crown since we had just killed his father and felt like that might confuse the Kingdom, so I was pretty much doing it all on my own. I was overwhelmed and euphorically happy that we had beat Lucan and freed our people. At the same time I had just lost my parents, several good friends and was finally given time to actually grieve my grandfather. It was the only time in my life where I could honestly admit that I was a bit of an emotional wreck and all I was trying to do was save face and hold it together for Eden and the Kingdom.