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“I know, baby. I’m desperate, too. But I have to get you ready. ” He let go of one of her knees and slipped two fingers through her drenched slit, separating the puffy folds, then swirled the callused tips of his fingers around her clit.
“Now,” she snapped, falling to her back. “I mean it, Scott. I need you now!”
A low, gritty laugh rumbled in his chest as he came down over her, working those two big fingers into her opening. He gave a hard, wet suck to each of her nipples, then lifted higher. “Go on, Lil. Screech at me some more,” he whispered in her ear, nipping at the lobe. “Tell me you want me to fuck your tight little pussy. ”
“I do,” she moaned, running her hands down his sleek, muscular back. “I want you to fuck me. ”
“Say it. ” He licked the side of her throat, pumping his fingers into her, then rubbing the moisture on them around her opening. “Say it exactly how I said it. ”
She writhed, wanting him inside her so badly she was ready to scream. “Fine! I want you to fuck my tight little pussy. Now, damn it!”
He gave another one of those low, sexy laughs, and the instant she felt his broad, hot cockhead touching her vulva, her hips jerked up to take him in. But he held himself back, not letting her have it. “Do I need a condom?” he whispered in her ear, bracing himself on his elbows.
“What?”
“I’m clean. I get checked regularly, and I always, always use latex. But you said you were on the Pill. So I’m asking if you want me to wear a condom. ”
“No. No condom. I want to feel you inside me, skin on skin. Every hard, thick inch of you. ”
His breath left his lungs in a shuddering rush, and he reached down, positioning the flushed head of his cock at her opening. He rubbed it around a little, getting it wet with her lube, and driving her wild in the process. Her skin was hot, tingly, her breaths coming in short, sharp pants that should have been embarrassing, considering he wasn’t even inside her yet. But she didn’t care. She just wanted him. Needed him so badly she was going out of her mind.
“Don’t move!” he grated, when he finally started to push himself in. “Stay still!”
She gasped for air, burning up inside. “Why?”
He groaned, the thick sound rough and male. “Because if you don’t, this is going to be over before we even get started. ”
“But I can’t stay still,” she moaned, gripping his hips as she tried to pull him deeper inside her.
“You will, damn it. ” He captured her wrists and pulled them over her head. “You’re tight as a fucking fist, Lily. I don’t want to hurt you. ”
“You won’t,” she whispered, feeling desperate, knowing she only had one shot at getting this right. “Do it, Scott. Damn it, just do it. Please. I need you. ” She knew she was begging, repeating herself. But she couldn’t help it. She meant every word. She’d never meant anything more.
He shuddered as he pressed forward, starting to work against her snug resistance as he bore down on her with his weight. Knowing she had to have the timing perfect, Lily waited until he’d pulled back and started pushing forward again before making her move. Lifting her head, she set her teeth into the tight tendon between his neck and shoulder and bit down just as she wound her legs around his hips and slammed her feet into his ass. He roared, jerking hard from the erotic bite, and rammed himself into her with so much force it made her scream. But his shout was even louder.
“What the FUCK, Lily?”
She gasped from the sting of pain as he wrenched back, pulling his cock completely out of her. He shook his head as he looked down, staring at his dick in disbelief, and Lily prayed the best night of her life wasn’t about to end in disaster.
SIX
WITH HER BREATH HELD TIGHT IN HER LUNGS, LILY WAITED for the explosion . . . but it never came. Instead, Ryder simply looked up at her and said, “There’s blood on my dick. ” He didn’t sound exactly angry. But he didn’t sound particularly thrilled with the situation, either.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, aware of the heat rushing beneath her skin, burning in her face. “I was hoping that wouldn’t happen. I mean, not at my age. ”
She could feel his hands shaking as he gripped her thighs, keeping her legs spread apart. He looked from her face, down to her swollen, tender entrance, then up to her face again. “What the fuck, Lily? How in God’s name are you still a virgin? You’re twenty-five years old. ” His voice was getting harsher with each word. “What the fuck is going on?”
Swiping at the stupid tears she could feel leaking from her eyes, she said, “Look, I know it’s stupid. Just drop it. Please. ”
Ignoring her plea, he reached out and gripped her chin, forcing her to look at him. “Did something happen? Did someone hurt you?”
She sniffed and gave a pained laugh. Oh, God. Yes, she’d been hurt. But not like he meant. He’d hurt her when he left. But she couldn’t just blurt that out. Throwing her heart at this guy would send him running from her bed faster than anything.
“No,” she lied, chewing on her lower lip. “No one hurt me, Scott. I’ve just been waiting for the right time. ”
“And this is the right time?” His voice was incredulous, his thick lashes so low she couldn’t read the look in his eyes.
“Um, well . . . you know how it is. I might not have a lot of time left. ”
“Oh, hell. Don’t!” he forced out through his gritted teeth, bracing himself on his bent arms as he came down over her. “Don’t even say that. If you fucked me because you think it’s your last chance, I’ll—”
“No,” she whispered, reaching up to cup his scarred cheek in her hand. “That’s not why. I’ve wanted this forever. You know that. I know you do. Even if you don’t want to admit it, you knew I wanted you all those years ago. I always did. ”
He groaned, burying his face in the curve of her throat. “Jesus. You make me so fucking crazy, Lily. ”
“Yeah, well. Back atcha. ”
He gave a low, raw laugh, then lifted his head and stared deep into her eyes. “I’m so damn angry at you for not telling me. I could have made it . . . easier. ”
“I know. I’m sorry. Yell at me later. Just don’t leave me. Please. ”
He opened his mouth, but choked off whatever he’d been about to say the instant he saw the fresh tears in her eyes. “Okay, all right. I’m here,” he rasped, pushing her hair back from her face, the look in his hot gaze stealing her breath. She’d never seen a man look at a woman with so much blistering heat and possessiveness. She felt scorched, the fact that it was Ryder who was looking at her like that making her heart feel like it was about to burst from excitement.
For so long. She’d wanted this moment for so damn long, and now she was finally going to have it.
He leaned down, rubbing his lips against hers, the gentle caress mirroring the careful way he started nudging his thick shaft back inside her body. She was sore enough that it burned, but she didn’t care, the emotional depth of the moment battering any discomfort she might have felt into obscurity. There was only Ryder and the incredible feel of his heavy penetration as he slowly rocked and nudged and worked his way back in until she had almost every inch of him packed up deep inside her. All the eager little muscles in her sex convulsed around him, holding him tighter, and his breath hissed through his teeth, his body shaking as he struggled to hold still, giving her time to get used to him.
“You okay?” he asked hoarsely.
“Mmm,” she moaned, spreading her legs a little wider as she arched her back. He must have liked it because he made a guttural sound in the back of his throat as he started giving her easy strokes that slowly worked him in and out. But while it was easier for her, the muscles in his magnificent body were beyond rigid, carved like steel beneath his hot skin, and she could tell exactly how much it was costing him to keep his control. He was still being careful not to go too deep. Not to be too rough. And she wasn’t having it.
?
??Stop holding back on me,” she panted, gripping the powerful muscles in his back, their bodies sliding against each other as their skin misted with sweat.
He grunted, burying his face in the curve of her throat again. “You’re so slick and hot. I’m trying to be careful, but fuck, you don’t make it easy. ”
“Me? You’re the one doing everything. I’m just lying here. ”
It was a low, pained laugh that vibrated in his chest this time. “Yeah. But you’re lying beneath me all soft and gorgeous, blowing my damn mind. ”
His words only made her more desperate. “I want it harder. I mean it, Scott. Let go. ”
“Christ, Lil. You’re gonna be the fucking death of me,” he groaned in her ear, his voice slurred with pleasure as he began quickening his pace. She moaned, squeezing her hands between them so that she could feel the rippling of his abs as he fucked her with that incredible cock, and the cracks in his control started to show. His strokes became harder, deeper, his hips slamming into hers with each penetrating lunge, followed by the sexy grind against her clit before he pulled back and did it again . . . and again. She clutched at him, coming undone, the raw, powerful way he moved driving her wild.
He lifted his head, a hard glint in his dark eyes as he exhaled a harsh breath. “I’ve never felt anything this good in my entire life. Nothing that even came close. ”
She blinked up at him, knowing that everything she felt had to be showing on her flushed face, burning in her eyes like a hot, shimmering message. He groaned and held her head in his hands, then lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her deeply, hungrily, his tongue thrusting and stroking, touching her teeth and the inner surface of her lips, then tangling with her own. She melted, sighing into the pleasure, seduced by the tenderness she could taste in his breathtaking kiss. And thrilled by the way it mixed with the raw lust as he moved one of his hands down to her knee, lifting it higher, wider, so that he could get even deeper inside her. He fed sexy growls into her mouth as his rhythm picked up, his thrusts so hard they started to shake the bed . . . along with the very foundations of her soul.
She was changing, evolving . . . becoming something lush and warm and full of sensation. She felt transformed, and knew her stupid heart was getting into dangerous territory. As hard-assed as she’d tried to be about the experience, there was no way for her to separate the emotion of the act from the physical. She was hyperaware with every cell of her body that this was Ryder between her legs, buried inside her, blowing her mind. The man who owned her without even knowing it. Who didn’t want her forever. Just for now. For this blinding moment. She had no guarantee there would even be a second time, and so she surrendered completely, knowing she needed to glean as much from the experience as she could. Secure the memories in a box in her mind that she could protect forever . . . or for however long she had. Memories that no one could ever take away from her. She sobbed at the thought, clinging to him, kissing him back with everything that she felt and feared and ached for, and he went wild, his pounding rhythm shoving her into a devastating orgasm that made her thrash and scream. He swallowed her raw cries with his mouth, drinking them in, then tossed back his head and gave a guttural roar as his own release slammed through him, his cock pulsing and jerking, spurting hot bursts of cum inside her. She kept climaxing, milking his steely shaft with her cushiony inner walls, and they strained together in that tangled, intimate knot until the violent shudders had eased into twitches, their lungs no longer heaving for breath.
Lily closed her eyes and held him tighter, knowing this had been right and perfect and necessary.
And that she’d never be the same again.
• • •
RYDER SHOOK HIS head, trying to make sense of what had just happened. When he’d come, it had been unlike anything he’d ever experienced. Yeah, he’d been with more than his fair share of women, and he’d started young. But nothing had ever prepared him for this. For Lily. She was the blow he couldn’t recover from. One incredible fuck and she’d somehow taken his memories of other women and burned them to the ground until they were nothing but scattered pieces of ash floating around in his head. The only thing that was solid and real and vibrant in the twisted landscape of his reality was the intoxicating woman trapped beneath him. She was a goddamn live wire of hunger and pleasure and emotion every fucking time he touched her.
He didn’t know how he hadn’t figured it out immediately last night when he’d had her against his door. That she was the woman in his arms. He’d never felt the way he did with her with anyone else in the world. Which just proved that deep down he’d known it was Lily all along. What a stupid prick, trying to convince himself that he hadn’t. He could be such a goddamn idiot at times.